


Our Last Time Between the Sheets

by Tanagariel



Series: Loving you in the light & dark [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Clarke Griffin, Blood and Violence, Drama & Romance, Drugs, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Guns, Homophobia, Married Couple, Writer Lexa (The 100), do not convert or translate without my explicit consent, do not repost without my permission, threats of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2021-04-05
Packaged: 2021-04-24 03:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 90,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22162474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanagariel/pseuds/Tanagariel
Summary: Clarke Griffin thought that loving Lexa in the light was going to be easy. She couldn’t have been more wrong. Once she concluded her studies, the young artist began to create her own path, yet success was far from reaching her. Clarke was frustrated, and most of all, she was envious of the attention her wife had garnered, whilst the madness that was being married to the popular writer was starting to get to her. Clarke couldn’t feel more alone.Lexa Woods made a promise to love Clarke in the light, but as of lately, her promises were being broken one after the next. A life that she never asked for engulfed her, and now, as Alexandria Woods became the object of affection of millions of fans worldwide and professional responsibilities drowned her, Lexa felt lost in the dark.With their marriage on the line, can these two women find their way back to each other’s light or their love will disappear in the dark? What is for certain is that this will be our last time between the sheets.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Loving you in the light & dark [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/339256
Comments: 543
Kudos: 701





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the beginning of the final part of the BTS universe. I cannot express how much gratitude I have for each and everyone of you who left kudos and/or comments in the past. Who made an appearance in my inbox to comment or drop words of encouragement to continue this story.
> 
> I swear I was done with BTS, but the reason I made this, is because you shared your passion for this universe with me, so this is my thanks to you all who requested a part 3. I apologize beforehand if this is nothing close to what you had in your mind. I'm taking these characters I cherish so much into their final ride and I have a goal in mind to get to the point I want. Hope you don't mind jumping along into the BTS train one last time; be patient and bear it with me.
> 
> I cannot promise fast updates, what I can promise is to conclude this story. 
> 
> Don't forget this is a sequel of a sequel, so if you haven't read the previous work in this universe you'll feel lost.
> 
> I have nothing else to add so welcome back and enjoy the ride!
> 
> Tanagariel
> 
> Beta by cos-geek-monkey

Green. Green. Green.

It was her favorite color in the world.

No doubt about it.

That was never going to change.

Or so she thought.

A cold breeze made Clarke shiver, she zipped up her jacket and leaned against the windshield of her beloved blue Audi A3, keeping her legs extended over the hood. She kept a hand under her head using it as a cushion for some comfort. The sunset on the horizon was a spectacular view. The orange, red and yellow hues combined to make an incredible mix of colors, whilst the purple and grey gradients of the night began to claim their own space in the sky. A perfect image to paint on canvas and a perfect place to be with _her_.

Clarke sighed, the puff of condensation forming in front of her face. She looked silently at the stars slowly appearing in the sky.

“It’s crazy that I’m back here of all places.” Clarke began. Saying things out loud always was cathartic for her. “It’s been what?” Clarke narrowed her eyes making calculations. “Sixteen years, where 18-year-old me waited for you, Lex. Waited for you to take a leap of faith, but you left me instead.”

Clarke chuckled remembering that heartbreaking night. Lexa did a number on her that day. From time to time she would throw that betrayal at her wife during one of their arguments.

“Yup, a long time ago. I totally understood why you did it, not that young adult Clarke could at the time. But hey, I married the girl in the end!” Clarke smiled widely, seeing how the stars above began to sparkle whilst the light began to fade away as the sun dropped below the horizon. “Though sometimes I do wonder, who I ended up marrying? Lexa or Alexandria?”

Clarke looked at her left hand. She stared at the beautiful golden ring that Lexa slid on her finger one happy summer day surrounded by her mother and mutual close friends.

As Clarke relived the memory, she decided it was the best day of her life to date. It was full of smiles and unbelievable happiness. Everything seemed to be straight out of a fairy tale, both brides wearing white dresses and sporting proud lively smiles on their faces. Abby had walked Clarke down the aisle as Lexa waited alongside her best friend, Anya. The only blemishes on the day were the absence of her father and Lexa’s parents. Lexa’s parents had decided that marrying a female was too much for them to handle and basically banished their daughter from their lives permanently. Even when Lexa refused to talk about it (still does), Clarke knew the total rejection hurt Lexa deeply, leaving a permanent scar on her heart.

Returning to the more positive aspects of their wedding day, Clarke remembered Lexa’s deep, jade eyes reflecting love and devotion. Clarke knew in that moment that Lexa was going to be _it_ for her, that she wasn’t going to love anyone as much she loved Lexa.

Of course, as soon as many hardcore supporters of Alexandria and gossip magazines learned that the famous writer/blogger married a 21-year old girl - the hero of TonDC as Nia coined in an interview once upon a time - they bet on their failure. Even when some supportive fans were happy for their fave, most were envious of Clarke to the point that she had to delete her @Princess69 account on Twitter due to the harassment. From time to time she gets some hate on her official art gallery account, but she has more or less learned to deal with it.

Yet, all naysayers had been silenced by the success of their marriage - 13 years and counting.

“Guess thirteen is not my lucky number.”

Her cell phone started to ring again returning Clarke to the present. Clarke took a deep breath, and let the air slowly leave her lungs before checking her screen. The screen was filled to the top with text messages and notifications of missed calls and voice messages from Raven, Anya, her mother and of course, Lexa; but right now she really didn’t want to deal with her wife, much less anyone else. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be here re-thinking her life choices. One day you were living happily married to the love of your life, your “soulmate” - as engraved on her wedding band - and the next you were on the verge of falling apart.

She turned off her phone, and put it back inside the jacket’s front pocket. Clarke moved to the edge of the car’s hood, resting her feet on the front bumper, sitting more comfortably with her hands on her thighs.

“Lexa is not to blame - not completely anyway.” Clarke played with the ring between her fingers, feeling the weight and the burden it carried instead of happiness, love and pride that it represented in the beginning. “I made lots of mistakes, too. We’re both responsible for this mess.”

Clarke closed her hand around the ring keeping it tight in her fist, as tears escaped her blurry eyes. She blinked to shoo them away and stared at the now darkening sky.

“I don’t know how to feel anymore. I knew that being with Lexa meant dealing with Alexandria, but now it feels all I have is Alexandria. That Josephine bitch took my wife away, and I....”

Rubbing her eyes, Clarke tried to relieve some of the stress and exhaustion that weighed on her more and more each day. “Shit, I fucked up, too.”

Clarke hid her face in her hands, cradling it in shame and sadness. “I was so angry. I resented Polis and Lexa so much, which is not an excuse but uuugh! We live under the same roof, and it’s like living with a stranger. When we talk, if Lexa happened to be in the house, Lexa was aloof and uninterested in the conversation, and when I was painting for days Lexa got mad in return. We both lost each other along the way, and I don’t know how to fix this. I do wonder if I should give up. Is there even anything left to salvage?” Clarke sighed, completely disheartened. “Guess coming back to the place where Lexa broke my heart the first time is a good place to contemplate the future - if there is one for us.”

Tired of being seated, Clarke jumped off the car, put the ring back on, and decided to take a short walk around the hiking trail to the woods.

“Sometimes I ask myself why I haven’t separated from her. Do I hope that things will turn around, that as soon as the steam blows off we can return to how we used to be? I hope so because as of right now I just left, and I’m not even sure I want to go back home.” Clarke managed to reach the resting area and sat at one of the picnic tables. She heard a metallic, scraping noise and when she looked in the direction of the noise, she noticed a racoon in the nearby trash can.

“Great company tonight, huh?”

The raccoon stopped his search for food and eyed Clarke with certain curiosity.

“I guess you’ll do, buddy.”

The racoon returned to his food search.

“Hear me out. Things with my spouse were perfect. We had our problems, but we managed to talk them out. The thing is that our dynamic started to change. At first, it was little things. Every little change compounded our problems, and it makes sense that we ended up stuck in this hole. If I remember correctly, things began to fall apart around the end of summer, that damn art exhibit was the beginning of a new life…”

___________

♪ Bring, bring the thunder and the

Loud, loud rain

Lead our woes asunder

`Neath the proud, proud veins ♩

“Uugh!” Clarke mumbled, as she stretched her hand to shut down her alarm blasting from her phone left on the night table. After a quick swipe the sound stopped and she rolled around the bed, feeling the other side of the king size bed. The sheets were cold to the touch, the missing warmth of the body that used to occupy the now empty space gone, making her sigh in deep sadness.

Clarke sat up still groggy with sleep, resting against the headboard and pulled her phone from the charger cord. She quickly typed a text to her wife, who was currently in Boston presenting a special conference about her novels and her widely popular ‘Between the Sheets’ column, and then she was headed to Berkeley for another special event before she returned home next Friday.

**Wanheda: **Morning lover. Miss u so much. Let me know what time we can Facetime. Love u.

Marrying Lexa who the world knew as Alexandria Woods had been complicated to say the least. The first 6 months had been a bliss. But as soon as their separate job responsibilities started to demand more of them, things got hectic, mostly for Lexa who had been busy promoting her _Remember when_ novel.

Things haven’t changed that much since then. Lexa barely had any free time. If she wasn’t with Titus, her agent, promoting her latest book _Bodyguard of Lies_, then she was at Polis Magazine.

The spouses had managed to balance their busy lives for some time. However, the busyness and Lexa’s frequent absences were becoming too much for Clarke. Her patience started running thin as she kept sharing her wife with the rest of her fans.

She left her phone and quickly headed to the bathroom to take a shower and get herself ready for another day of work at ‘Eden’, the art gallery that she co-owned with Costia Greene - the mentor and friend and a long list of things that were already complicated to even think about:

  1. Costia, the ex-girlfriend of her wife.
  2. An ex-girlfriend because Clarke messed things up between Lexa and Costia.
  3. The ex-girlfriend who turned into a mentor and protector in college after Lexa abandoned her.
  4. The mentor who now was her business partner and her agent in the art world.

Talk about complicated. Thankfully, things fell into their right place and everyone got along.

Clarke was finishing her latest exhibit. She and Costia had been focused on making Eden a respectable gallery that Clarke had ignored her original works. She owed so much to Costia already due to her guidance and unwavering support even after Clarke came between her and Lexa. She wanted to blow all the attendees’ minds as a show of her appreciation for Costia, her former art teacher who taught her that she could inspire others with her art.

After the quick shower, Clarke toweled her body, put on clean underwear and deodorant before taking the washed jeans from the top dresser and pulled a shirt from the closet. Clarke looked at Lexa’s side. Her trousers and blazers were all hanging in place in neat order. Clarke reached for the sleeve of one of the pressed white button ups that Lexa wore to work at Polis Magazine and brought it closer to her nose, the blonde artist took a whiff and closed her eyes, thinking of the woman who had been gone for two weeks.

The ding of her phone alerted Clarke of an incoming message, she quickly shut the closet doors and headed to her night table, picking the phone. As soon as she noticed the text her smile widened.

**WifeyHeda: **I miss you more. I have a long day but I’ll call you at 4pm. Does that time works for you?

**Wanheda: **Yeah, perfect. Good luck on today’s conference bby.

Clarke grabbed the box holding her wedding band, sliding it on before she finished dressing and drove to meet Costia at her Ark University office, now more at ease that Lexa sent her a text.

-oo-

“So what do you think?” Clarke asked a very concentrated Costia who looked closely at the canvas now that it was dry.

Costia pushed a dark curl covering her brown keen eyes, she took some notes in a notepad before she returned her attention to Clarke.

“It’s different.” Costia took a step back to look at the orange and grey of the art. “It’s intense, but I think it’s interesting compared with your previous work. I think it will earn good reviews.”

Clarke beamed hearing the positive response. “Yeah? Thanks, Cos. I’ll make sure to finish the last two paintings this weekend and by Thursday I’ll begin mounting the exhibit.”

Costia nodded. “You’re going to make an impression for sure and Anya said she’d be there after her classes to help mounting the art.”

“She doesn’t have to be there, Costia. Did you ask her?” Clarke perked her brow.

Costia smiled, her curls on the side of her face bouncing. “That was all her. You should know by now that Anya will do anything for you. She takes too seriously the role of protector when your wife isn’t around.”

“Yeah, who could have thought that Anya and I were going to end up being as close as we are now.”

Clarke couldn’t help giggling remembering how difficult Anya had been when her romance with Lexa began. Clarke looked around at the already vacant office. “You’re ready to move everything to the new place?”

Costia lifted herself from her desk and began to check one of the boxes on the file cabinet. “Yes, I already sent most of my work stuff. Anya sent most of the furniture so we’re ready to occupy our new place.”

“You have to invite us to the housewarming. I’m very happy you decided to establish the Greene Foundation permanently on DC.”

“Me too.” Costia closed the box and grabbed masking tape to seal it. “The back and forth from New York was exhausting!”

“Anyway, I have to run, but if you need me just holler.”

“Have you delivered all the invitations for your expo?” Costia asked before Clarke left.

“Ah, yeah. Raven helped me deliver the last group yesterday.”

“Not to cause you any pressure but have you heard of Eligius?”

Clarke frowned thinking about it, and then her eyes snapped up to Costia. “Eligius as our competitors?”

Costia nodded as she headed to one of her drawers and opened it. The artist began searching around until she pulled a business card. She walked around the desk to give the card to Clarke.

Clarke held the card and read the name. “Paxton McCreary, Art Critic.” She put the card in the back pocket of her jeans. “You serious?”

“Eligius brought him over, and I think this could be an opportunity to show McCreary your new work.” Costia said. “Eligius is new while Eden is already established as the top gallery in the town. I’m not afraid of a little competition, but McCreary is one of the most well known art critics on the west coast. You could use him.”

“Yeah, he ripped me apart last year.” Clarke shrugged. “I’m not sure if we should extend an invitation. We could do without his reviews.”

“In that case you know Lexa would never deny-”

Clarke raised her hand stopping Costia and shaking her head. “Cos, I told you I won’t be relying on my wife’s influence to promote and sell my art anymore. She means well but how am I going to be taken seriously when important critics like McCreary destroyed my LA exhibit? He was horrified by my use of colors and I quote ‘Griffin’s work looks like a post-apocalyptic mess, no plot and no substance, good thing her writer wife can support her.’” Clarke pouted feeling the words lash at her again.

“I told you to stop doubting yourself. You’re talented enough, Clarke, and you’ve grown so much as an artist. You’re still struggling to find that passion again, but you’ll get there with perseverance and hard work. This exhibit along with our new clients will help cement not just Eden but your name among the top artists. You don’t want Lexa to cover the event? Fine, but McCreary is still a big name and a positive review from him could attract more high level critics to see your art and come to Eden.”

Clarke knew Costia was right, her pride took a big hit last year, but this could be a new chance to prove herself. “Okay, I’ll extend the invitation.” Clarke hugged Costia tightly. “Thanks Costia and uh, I’ll give you a call when I’m done so you can check the artwork and the arrangements before the exposition.”

Clarke waved farewell to her friend and went to work on her final paintings. Time was of the essence and she wanted to have everything ready for her showcase.

  
-oo-

Clarke had the radio blasting music in her art studio. She was working on one of the last canvases she had to finish. She moved her hips and hummed along as the music that kept her pumped and inspired to create magic with her brushes, knowing very well that Niylah would interrupt her only when Raven arrived to help her with the lighting for her show.

Yes, Clarke hired her ex-girlfriend because she was a trusted friend of hers, even if they didn’t work out as a couple, didn’t mean they couldn’t work together or be friends, which they were.

Eden Art Gallery was located in a very centric spot of DC, close to important businesses and shops. The gallery welcomed visitors with a small reception area, where Niylah took care of all important scheduling and calls.

Once inside, there was a wide area with bright walls that allowed the visitor to focus solely on the art exposed on the walls. The large windows at the front allowed for some natural light, but Clarke knew she had to add some light to the beams on the ceiling to complement the look of her upcoming exposition. Reason why Raven had to come in a couple of hours to help her.

Clarke had her personal office and workshop in the back of the gallery. The place was simply perfect, and Clarke couldn’t be happier to have Eden as her safe haven.

The sudden ring of her phone cut the music and she left her brush over the table. She wiped her hands to remove the excess paint and quickly accepted the call.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Clarke beamed at the perfect vision of her wife on the screen.

“Hello yourself.” Lexa smiled looking at Clarke with adoration. “Hope I am not interrupting. How’s your painting going?”

“Almost done here, baby. Remember that my exposition is this Saturday at 7pm.”

“I arrive on Friday night. No worries. I’ll be right there.” Lexa assured.

“Good, because I can’t wait to put my hands on you.” Clarke winked mischievously, making Lexa’s cheeks turn a slight pink.

“Don’t say that, Clarke. You’ve no idea what you’re causing.”

Clarke giggled and kissed the camera to send a kiss to her pouty wife. “I miss you too. The bed feels too big without you.”

“This is temporary, my love. I’ll be home soon. Now why don’t you show me some of your work?” Lexa rested her chin on her palm looking at the screen hoping to catch a glimpse of Clarke’s work.

“Nuh uh. It’s a surprise. Get your ass back as soon as you can, Lex.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Okay. I’ll do my best.”

“How is it going?” Clarke asked, picking up her next brushes moving around the room.

“The fan interactions are always amusing. It’s really interesting to hear what they have to say. It’s been a wonderful experience. I think that the fans have enjoyed this last book way more than I expected!”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Clarke giggled, “I told you they were going to go crazy. I loved what you did what that story. The chemistry between the bodyguard and the musician was phenomenal!”

Lexa laughed, raking her long fingers through her brunette tresses, though on her temples you could already spot some grey hairs. “That’s why you’re my number one reader. What would I do without your input, huh?”

Clarke shrugged, and left the phone on the corner so she could continue working on her canvas. “I mean, I’m the only critic that will suck your ass, Lex. I’m very biased because I’m the one who manages to get drafts and take you to bed.”

Lexa burst in laughter, the melody of her voice making her stomach churn with a thousand butterflies, a reaction that Clarke never got tired of feeling.

“True.” Lexa said with some sadness, the longing in her voice was evidence that she missed Clarke just as much.

“Baby, please tell me you’re going to take a break after this, please?” Clarke looked at the camera on her phone, looking at Lexa to show how serious she was.

“I’ll speak with Titus and see if-”

“Lexa! We need to head to the convention center!” Titus called on the distance.

Lexa turned around the camera, “I hear you. One minute!” The brunette returned her attention to the videocall. “I have to go Clarke. I’ll text you when I get back. I love you.”  
“Love you too, take care.”

With the call concluded Clarke sighed. She truly hoped Lexa spoke with her agent because she was tired of being on her own most of the time.

Alexandria was practically on the level of a rock star or Hollywood star. Whenever she went, legions of fans filled the bookstores where Lexa made an appearance, she was sought after to model on the cover of magazines and appear on TV talk shows. It was always hard to compete with that kind of attention, but the only consolation Clarke had is that after all that; Lexa always came back to her.

A knock on the door called Clarke’s attention, making her stop her work.

“Excuse me, Clarke.” Niylah peeked through the door of the workshop.

“Raven is here.”

Clarke smiled happily to hear her bestie was here. “I’ll meet her in my office, thank you Niylah.”

Niylah nodded and left Clarke to her devices.

The artist made sure to leave everything in order, wiped her hands and headed to her office where her best friend waited.

“About time, Reyes!”

Raven turned around, grinning at the blonde. She pulled out her hands from the red jacket she wore and jumped at her friend hugging her tightly careful not to hit Clarke with her braced leg.

The far away memory of how Raven took a bullet for O during the Winter Formal in High School had been a day that from time to time crept on Clarke’s mind.

A night that marked absolutely everyone.

“Please, I know you were impatient to see me, lover girl.” Raven took a step back, winking at Clarke.

“Yeah, so much you dummy! I already have the sketch for how I want the lights to be set up for my exhibit. Wanna take a look?” Clarke headed to her desk and opened the top drawer, she pulled out a folder and left it over the mahogany desk.

Raven took the file, opening it and reading its contents. “Mmm, I mean, it looks alright, but if this section is for the main piece, these headlights need to be in another place.” Raven suggested pointing Clarke to where she wanted to move the lightning.

“Noted.”

Clarke and Raven chatted for a couple of minutes about her work before the two of them could relax and simply talk about their daily lives.

“After I’m done you wanna hang out?” Clarke asked the mechanic.

“Ahm, I’ll pass Griff. You know the car shop doesn’t manage itself.” Raven looked apologetic.

“I get it. Your latest car tech is garnering some attention. That’s pretty cool, Ray.”

Raven was one of the smartest and hardworking people Clarke ever met. Considering how hard her upbringing was, Raven always push harder than anyone to be someone who she could be proud of.

“You got that right, Clarke. This brain of mine is outstanding. But hey, tomorrow we can watch movies and call that loser if she’s not busy.”

Clarke laughed. “Sounds like a plan. Octavia might be hard to reach though, you know the time difference is crappy, and she’s always training in the early mornings.”

“Yeah. Lucky bitch gotta play for the big soccer teams in Europe and has no time for her friends.” Raven rolled her eyes but not in annoyance. Clarke was so glad that after her friends broke up they managed to maintain that friendship that united them since they were young girls.

The distance was too much for Raven and Octavia. After she was recruited in Spain by a professional soccer team, the relationship dynamic changed, and they called it quits. They never stopped rooting for their friend and when O got the call by scouts of the USWNT, they celebrated big time.

“By the way, Anya is coming Thursday to help me mount the exhibit. Want to join us and I’ll get beers and nachos after we’re done?” Clarke asked now that she remembered her convo with Costia.

Raven raised her brow. “Nachos and beer like the old times, huh? The grounder princess might still be a little uptight for my taste though. But sure, count me in. Catch you later Griff!” Raven waved and headed towards the exit, leaving Clarke once more alone.

“Welp, back to work.”

-oo-

Time flew whenever Clarke was trapped in her bubble of colors. Sometimes she could spend hours and not realize how late it was, such as this case. She had completed most of her work and had one more painting to finish before she began transforming the gallery for her presentation.

She checked the time on her father’s watch and realized it was pretty late. She began to clean the workshop before she closed the gallery. At this time Niylah was already home, so it was her turn to close shop.

Clarke shut the lights off and headed to the exit. Shutting the lock, Clarke looked how dark it was, only the street lamps offered some view at this time. The traffic flowed easily at this time and some people were making lines to the closest coffee shop to gather some extra energy.

Clarke began heading to the parking lot located in the back of the lot. The nearby park looked empty as far as Clarke could see. She began looking for her car keys in her bag but the light was crappy in this area. She managed to pull them out but she missed the bag handle, letting it fall on the concrete. The contents spilled all over the floor.

“Ugh, great!” Clarke leaned down to pick them up, however, a figure approached stealthily and quickly took her wallet away.

“HEY!” Clarke shouted calling the attention of the delinquent. “GIVE THAT BACK!”

Clarke stood up ready to pursuit when she noticed it was a little girl. “KID WAIT!”

The little delinquent turned around and Clarke saw it was a girl, probably around 6 or 7 years with pale complexion, blue-green eyes wearing a beanie too big for her and old rags as clothing. “I’m not going to hurt you. Take the money but please leave the documents behind.”

The girl eyed Clarke with mistrust, so the blonde raised her hands. “I swear I’m not calling the cops. Just leave my wallet behind, please?”

The girl pulled out the few bills inside and began running, dropping her wallet on the asphalt as she sprinted away.

Clarke moved to pick it up and put it back on her bag. When Clarke looked around, the little girl was nowhere to be found.

“Who was that child from hell?”


	2. Chapter 2

The conference went by quickly once the audience was engaged, and Lexa found their participation inspiring.

Lexa was currently signing books at the Berkeley City Club after a sold out presentation sponsored by Berkeley Arts & Letters. She was finishing her last commitment then she could finally go home to her wife in DC.

She was exhausted to death but seeing and hearing how her readers feel when they read her material or blog made everything worth it. She truly loved spending time with her fans, it was a special relationship that she had been nurturing since they supported her in her very humble beginnings. And now this was her only way to give back that love and trust, by trying to meet as many as possible.

“Oh my God!” The young girl said with a tint on her cheeks. “I am so happy to finally meet you, Alexandria.”

Lexa took the book that was handed to her, her latest work, ‘Bodyguard of Lies,’ and seeing the well-worn spine made Lexa smile. “I’m happy to meet you too. What’s your name?” Lexa opened the book to the front page.

“Charlie,” the girl replied.

“Alright,” Lexa signed the book with a dedication to Charlie. “Hero you go, Charlie. Thanks a lot for coming!”

“Can I hug you?”

Lexa chuckled but nodded. “Of course.” Lexa stood up and leaned over the table opening her arms to hug the enthusiastic fan.

“I love you so much!” The girl squealed.

“Thank you.” Lexa replied as she sat back down to continue meeting her fans.

After she was done meeting all her fans she followed her manager back to her hotel to pack her things and grab her flight that afternoon so she could be home by that night.

“This was another sold out event!” Titus said whilst Lexa grabbed from the small closet her clothes. “I think that it’s a very opportune moment to take this momentum and add another dates to-”

“Woah, hold on a sec!” Lexa turned around, raising her palm stopping her manager in his tracks, “Titus, I already told you I’m done for this year. I don’t want to do anymore conventions or conferences. I want to go home with my wife and dedicate time to the magazine as well. Since Damocles began it’s run, Polis sales have dropped considerably. I cannot leave Polis just like that. They need me and Dante trusted me years ago to take Polis to new heights yet I’m doing the opposite.”

Titus sighed, “Lexa, you’re no Stephen King. You need to keep your name out there - in the public - to keep yourself relevant. Your wife and the magazine can wait!”

Clenching her jaw, Lexa huffed and strode towards Titus. “Listen to me, Titus. I said I’m done. Yes, I know Alexandria Woods is no George R. R. Martin, but I’m the one who can’t wait to go back.”

“Lexa, it took you 4 years to publish ‘Bodyguard of Lies’ after your last break. The ‘Between the Sheets’ blog can only reach certain audiences but if you want to be considered a serious writer you need to put the work for it.”  
“And I’ve been working for it!” Lexa growled, she took a deep breath to calm herself. “I thank you for helping me, for putting my name out there Titus, but I’m taking a break from touring and writing novels. That’s my final decision and I spoke with Ontari already about taking a break, which she agreed to. The sales of my latest novel are good enough for the publisher too. Polis needs my full attention now.”

“Very well, Lexa. If that’s what you want then I’ll decline all the current offers I have.”

Lexa nodded and turned back towards her closet grabbing everything and shoving it into the travel bag.

-oo-

Her heart was thumping hard, as soon as her plane arrived she wanted nothing more than to run to go home as soon as she could.

Lexa was walking as fast her legs allowed into the baggage claim area, it was pretty late and she thought it was better to let Clarke sleep instead of making her wait up so late for her, so she told her wife she was going to take a Lyft to go home.

However, she didn’t even make it into her carousel because standing at the far end close to one of the exits she recognized that beautiful blonde hair held in a high messy bun, that cleft chin and soft white skin. Wearing a long sleeve blue sweater that revealed one of her shoulders and grey sweatpants, stood the love of her life.

Her smile widened and as soon as green met blue and it was as if everything was right in the world again.

“Clarke!” Lexa called and Clarke, grinning, went to meet her wife.

They met in the middle and soon Clarke was between her arms. Lexa held her strongly, inhaling the chamomile scent of her blonde hair, making her feel so happy to have her wife in her arms again.

“You came!”

“Of course I did, silly!” Clarke pulled a step apart but still holding Lexa by her hips. Clarke lifted her face to kiss Lexa’s plump lips, making the brunette smile into the kiss. There wasn’t a day during her travels that Lexa hadn’t dreamt of kissing her wife. Even when she was gone just for just a weekend, Lexa would be touch starved. She just couldn’t get enough of Clarke.

“I missed you so much.” Lexa leaned her forehead against Clarke’s.

Clarke cupped her face gently. “Me too, babe.”

Finally, Lexa pulled away but kept holding Clarke’s hand and together went to get her suitcase. After waiting for a few more minutes Lexa finally grabbed her bag.

“Let’s go home.”

Thankfully at this time there wasn’t much traffic so they reached their penthouse rather quickly. Clarke opened the door with the keys holding the door for Lexa before shutting it securely.

Lexa left her bags on the living room before she turned around and Clarke jumped at her, locking their lips again.

The two women kissed ardently, feverishly, holding each other like they had been stuck with glue. Not stopping for a second fully enjoying the presence of their significant other.

“Bed.” Lexa mumbled in between kisses and they began their ascent of the stairs to their bedroom. Bumping a wall here and a handrail there, they expertly managed to make it into their bedroom.

Clarke was, as usual, quick to remove Lexa’s clothes, pulling away her blazer and popping the buttons of the button up Lexa wore, untangling the belt faster than lightning and removing the briefs Lexa wore.

Lexa helped Clarke get rid of her garments next, pulling her sweater from above her head.

“Ow!” Clarke whined, “I’m stuck!”

Lexa laughed, took a step back to help Clarke get out of her shirt, since one of her hair pins got stuck in the fabric of the sweater.

“There.” Lexa smiled cheekily, softly untangling the bun to release golden locks cascading in tandem before resuming their previous actions.

They kissed until Lexa’s legs bumped the bed, making her fall into it, she climbed to the head of the bed with Clarke crawling after her, chasing her lips to avoid missing the contact.

After that, familiar hands moved over the already memorized curves, every familiar patch of skin not left unattended. Sounds echoed around the bedroom in a soft song of pleasure and love. Reverential kisses accompanied the beat of the dance their bodies established, pushing and pulling with purpose and determination, little bites that elicited harder moans and thighs serving as support to grind against. Climbing higher and higher until there was no other place to go but down.

-oo-

Clarke rested her head on the chest of her wife after turning on the lamp on their night table. Their skin was flushed and sweaty after they both reached their climax. Both, very satiated and tired.

“How was your trip?” Clarke laced her hands with Lexa as she asked.

“It was alright. Very tiring but it was fine. The auditorium was packed, Clarke. The audience was lovely, they sure love Alexandria.”

Lexa re-told some of the most funny anecdotes she could remember, sharing in detail how her fans talked about the characters in her novels or even discussed some of her posts in the magazine.

“I’m happy it went well. You’re one hell of a writer and deserve all that love.”

“The only love I want is yours though.” Lexa tended to get her sappiest when around Clarke. She just couldn’t help be putty in the presence of the woman who loved her just the way she was.

Clarke chuckled, kissed the hollow between her shoulder and neck, right on her pulse point. “You’re such a cutie!”

Lexa rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it. Clarke always fought her on it anyway.

“Too bad I’m not a fan.” Clarke added, keeping that shit eating grin on her face.

“No? Because as far as I remember you ended up marrying me. So you must like something.” Lexa couldn’t stop a smile that spread on her face.

Clarke swatted her arm softly.

“Ouch!”

“Don’t get cocky with me, Woods. You’re good but not _that_ good.” Clarke pecked her lips, “but yes, you definitely got something.”

Lexa offended, rolled them over in a swift motion. She smiled keeping ahold of Clarke’s wrists above her head. “I can assure you, Mrs. Griffin-Woods that I can change your mind.”

Clarke chuckled. “Is that right?”

Lexa nodded before kissing her deeply and proving to Clarke that she was more than enough for her demands.

  
  


They remained silent again after another round of loving each other, Clarke resting her head right over Lexa’s heart, the _ba dump ba dump_ of her heart lulling Clarke to sleep.

“I ah, I told Titus I’m done for the year with the book tours.” Lexa decided to go with the news.  
Clarke perked her brow with interest, moving to the side and propping herself on her elbow to look at her wife. “How did baldie take it?”

Lexa chuckled at the nickname, before kissing Clarke’s crown of her head. “You know. He wasn’t very happy but I was resolute. No more book touring this year. Ontari agreed it was okay to take a hiatus too.” Lexa opened one arm invitingly so Clarke could return to the cocoon of her arms, keeping her wife as close as possible.

“I’m glad. It’s been lonely without you, Lex.”

“I know…” Lexa began stroking Clarke’s scalp. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“You have to see the gallery! I’m very nervous but Costia says it’s going to be great.”

“Of course it will! Costia is an expert so no doubt about it.”

“I’m excited to show you my new work.”

“I can’t wait to see it complete. What time do I have to be ready?” Lexa asked, stifling a yawn.

“At 6pm. But we can talk about that tomorrow morning, you’re about to drop dead.”

Lexa smiled lazily, her eyes drooping closed for longer as she fought to stay awake.

Clarke extended her arm to turn off the dim light and pulled the blankets tighter over their bodies.

Lexa knew that by morning Clarke would be hoarding half of them.

“Good night, love.”

“G’night, Lex.”

______________

Clarke opened her eyes slowly, her eyes adjusting to the darkened bedroom. Low light was creeping through the curtains and she lifted her head to be able to look clearly at the clock over the night table.

_8:37am_

Clarke sighed slowly, a smile making her way into her expression as soon as she noticed the beautiful chestnut mop of hair on the pillow next to hers. From this close she could see Lexa’s grey hairs on her temple, the little wrinkles forming in the corner of her eyes, but Lexa was so very sexy now more than ever.

To Clarke, 40 year old Lexa was the sexiest woman in the world. Also for her younger fans, the more Lexa aged the more they seemed to be attracted to her wife. There had to be something about older women that enthralled the younger fans, making them swoon.

Lexa was usually the one who tended to be up early, but it was evident that her wife was utterly exhausted. Clarke would love to wake her up with a rain of soft kisses but today, it was better to let her sleep. She left the ghost of a kiss on Lexa’s bare shoulder, before covering the nakedness of Lexa’s beautiful body with the blankets she hoarded during the night, and moved out of the bed. Quietly, tiptoeing around Clarke opened the drawer to take some clean underwear and put on comfy shorts and tshirt before heading downstairs to make breakfast.

Clarke padded barefoot down the stairs of their penthouse, sighing happily that Lexa was back home. Her trips always left Clarke longing for the presence of her wife when she spent so many weeks and months touring to promote her latest novel. It was the reason why they both agreed at the very beginning of their marriage to put on hold any plans to expand their family until both of them were more securely established. Lexa had been very focused in her writing career and Clarke had to obtain her college degree first back then, which she did. Now, all she wanted was to establish a name in the art world for herself, but she couldn’t deny that she was itching to have the baby talk again with her wife.

She opened the fridge and immediately took out some eggs and bacon, then moved them to the kitchen counter. In the cupboard she found a box of pancake batter and began adding the mixture into a bowl. She set the pans on the stove, then scrambled some eggs and poured them on the pan. She put bacon in the next pan to deep fry it and have it just like Lexa liked it, crunchy.

The doorbell rang, but Clarke ignored it in favor of making sure the eggs were getting cooked at the right temperature. However, the doorbell rang again and she wanted to avoid someone interrupting Lexa’s sleep. Clarke lowered the flame of the stove to keep the eggs warm and quickly headed to the door, checking through the peephole she chuckled and opened the door.

“Good morning, Anya.” Clarke step aside inviting Anya inside.

“I was not expecting you to be awake first on a Saturday morning.” Anya came inside kissing Clarke’s cheek, carrying a tray with coffee cups. “Where’s my sister from another mister?”

Clarke locked the door and returned to the kitchen. “Asleep. Lexa arrived late last night so I left her sleeping.”

Anya put the coffee cups on the kitchen counter. “Here you go. Extra cream for you.”

“Thanks.”

Anya took her own cup leaving one for Lexa. “Guess you’re the one who finished draining Lexa’s energy last night, then.” Anya smirked.

Clarke chuckled and threw napkin at her friend. “Shut up! She was already tired.”

Clarke returned to her chores finishing preparing the breakfast. “You want some?”

“No, thanks. I already had breakfast.” Anya pointed to one of the several pictures Clarke and Lexa had from their group travels and adventures. “That was a nice trip. We had a lot of fun.”

It was a group picture they took years ago, when Octavia was still around before she was hired by a soccer team in Europe.

Clarke finished cooking the eggs and bacon and began making the pancakes. “Yeah, the four musketeers were still together. How can I forget that?”

“For the record, I was never part of your little gang, Griffin.” Anya rolled her eyes keeping a playful smile, sipping her drink in the pretty Saturday morning.

“The moment you started to hang out with us you definitely became one of us. Sorry, but I don’t make the rules.”

Anya chuckled stirring her coffee with ease. She leaned on the kitchen tabletop and took another sip. “Yeah, yeah. Just cos you can’t live without me.”

The truth was that Clarke couldn’t be more grateful for Anya’s friendship and company. It was a done deal that being with Lexa meant having Anya in her life. She chose both of them once upon a time. And Clarke meant it in every sense of the word.

But also, this friendship was important for Anya too. The woman was always ever so present in Lexa’s absence. Being the protective best friend and making sure that Clarke was okay, all on behalf of Lexa’s peace of mind.

Anya was like another member of their family and she took that duty very seriously, watching over her best friend’s wife and helping Clarke in any way she could.

“I knew I heard your voice!” Lexa said from the stairs, she was rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palm, removing the traces of sleep.

“Hey Lex. I was hoping to see you first but your wifey greeted me instead.”

“Morning, love.” Lexa stood behind Clarke, slipping her arms around her waist once she closed the distance between them, kissing her cheek and next her head before moving around and sitting with her best friend.

“Hey An.”

“How was the trip?” Anya sipped her coffee, humming at the taste she passed the last cup to Lexa. “Titus got you into more trouble?”

“It wasn’t that bad and Titus agreed to give me a break.”

“That’s great. At least now that you’re here I can take a break from being Van Gogh’s assistant.” Anya pointed with her chin at Clarke.

“Asshole! You make it sound like I enslaved you!” Clarke pouted, offended at the remark as she distributed the breakfast on two plates. She offered one to Lexa and took the other for herself. Clarke then sat next to her wife.

Lexa laughed and took Clarke’s palm in hers and kissed it. “Anya has no patience, I’ll be happy to help if you still need it, love.”

Anya gagged and drank more of her coffee. “Please, at least Reyes bought donuts yesterday while we finished mounting all the art. She worked us very hard.”

“And who paid for the drinks after, huh? Ask me again to open the gallery for your World History class once the new exhibit from the 18th century arrives.” Clarke jabbed.

“Touché. Remind me to never pick a fight with this one.” Anya pointed to the blonde as she said to Lexa.

Lexa shook her head. “I missed this so much! I’m so glad to be back.”

Clarke pecked her lips. “We missed you too.”

“Speaking of favors, I think Costia would like you to be a special judge for her yearly art show at TonDC High next month.”

Clarke tilted her head. “She hasn’t told me anything about that.”

“Yeah, um, she knows you’ve been stressed with your upcoming new show and was afraid to ask you so I said I would instead.” Anya shrugged.

“Of course I’ll be there. Tell her that she can request my help anytime. It’s the least I can do for her after everything she does for me on a daily basis.”

“Cool. I’ll tell Cos.”

“I’d love to cover that event for Polis Magazine. I’ll tell Ryder to go and take pics as well.” Lexa added.

“It’s not necessary, Lexa.” Clarke commented.

Lexa sighed, “I didn’t do any promo in the magazine as you requested. I’d like to simply describe the event. Not as an exclusive. I want you to have all the press you and Costia invited to add their own piece as well.”

“Fiiiiiine.” Clarke confirmed.

_RING RING_

The sound of a cellphone echoed in the apartment, at first the trio ignored it, but the sound was insistent Lexa scrunched her brows. “That’s mine. Excuse me one sec.” Lexa stood up and headed to the bedroom skipping some stairs to reach her room and answer her phone.

“So you ready?” Anya asked.

“As much as I can be. You know how things went in LA. I’m nervous about the critics’ reviews. I didn’t sell much last year because of that.”

“I’ll make sure to remind those critics how talented you are, Griffin.”

Clarke patted Anya’s shoulder. “Now you wanna get brownie points huh?”

Anya grinned as she leaned on the chair, relaxing. Stretching her long mile legs. “It better work cos I already told my students they’ll be doing a trip to Eden for the old civilization class.”

Clarke noticed in that moment Lexa coming back downstairs, her face serious.

“Hey babe. What is it?”

“It was Gaia. There’s a situation in the magazine that requires my presence.”

“Really? Can’t you meet her on Monday?”

Lexa sat back on the chair leaving her phone on the table. “I’ll find out what this is all about and see you at the gallery, no worries.”

“Lexa, you’re barely going to make it on time!” Clarke whined.

Lexa quickly took Clarke’s hands and kissed them. “I’ll be there, I promise. Once I know what the big deal is I’ll let Gaia know that we can continue on Monday. Must be some format issue that needs a last minute change before the next edition of Polis goes to print.”

“Well, I’ll leave you two to finish eating and I’ll see you at Eden tonight.” Anya stood up, saying her goodbyes to Lexa and Clarke.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Clarke replied.

“See you, An.” Lexa said waving.

Clarke sighed, “Gaia better have something really important to say to call you for a meeting an hour before my exhibit!”

“Hey,” Lexa cupped Clarke’s face. “I’ll be there, love. I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.”

-oo-

“Where is she?” Clarke asked for the 12th time to Raven. Pacing back and forth in the gallery office.

“Her meeting must have been delayed, relax Clarke. You need to be greeting the guests and making sure you sell some paintings tonight.” Raven tried to put at ease her best friend who was on the verge of a breakdown, waiting to go out and meet her guests.

“I’ve been calling and leaving text messages and she has said zilch!”

“You know she silences her phone. Now, I’ll get you some champagne and you get ready to go out there and marvel your audience, Griff. Lexa will be here as soon as she can.” Raven said trying to put as much conviction in her voice as she could.

Clarke stopped her maddening pacing and took a deep breath nodding. “Okay, you’re right.” She tried to calm herself, fixing the aquamarine pencil skirt and removing the nonexistent wrinkles on her blouse. “I should meet the guests.”

“Let’s go and marvel them all!” Raven once again put as much conviction as she could in her voice and gave Clarke’s hand a squeeze before leaving the office.

Clarke followed a second later and finally took a look around to the gallery.

It was full to the brim with many of her friends and some critics already. Most of her works were filling the walls of Eden in a display that showed social issues through an array of black and whites, in other works her colors were neutral but with a hint of yellow or orange to show some hope for a better future. She sighed and put a smile on her face before she began greeting everyone and welcoming everybody to her exposition.

Of course, her mother, would be the first to be there.

“Sweetheart, this is beautiful!” Abby held Clarke in a tight embrace. After a few moments they parted and Clarke looked at her mother.

She had her chestnut hair in a bun, light makeup and an easy smile on her face. Abby wore a black dress that looked very elegant on her. She proudly sported the wrinkles around her eyes and strong lines around her mouth, but Dr. Abigail Griffin was still a beautiful woman even in her sixties.

“Thanks, mom. I’m so happy you made it!”

“Of course, sweetie. How I was going to miss this important day.”

“Oh, hello Clarke! Congratulations on a magnificent work!”

“Ah, Principal Kane err- I mean, Marcus, thanks for coming.” Clarke replied sheepishly. She still wasn’t used to her mom dating the Principal of her former High School. At first it took her by surprise but now she was happy that her mother was happy and Marcus was a really good man.

“Thank you for the invitation.” Marcus rubbed his greyish brown beard. “I’ll continue walking around then. Catch me when you’re done chatting with Clarke, Abby.” The man took a step back leaving mother and daughter to continue their conversation.

“And where is Lexa?” Abby asked looking around for the woman who always stood by the side of her daughter.

“There was a work thing. For her own sake I hope she’s on her way.” Clarke couldn’t help but feel dejected.

Abby laughed. “She’ll be here, honey. Now, show me around this new work of yours.”

“Sure, of course!” Clarke smiled and took her mom around, putting in the back of her mind her wife.

The night transcurred easily, between champagne and the wonderful company of family and friends Clarke managed to stop looking so much at her phone that was in her purse. Many guests praised her work and of course, when it was time to present her new art, Clarke aced it.

It was another step into her professional career and Clarke was very happy about succeeding in her latest exhibit. Her confidence took a hit last time, which was the reason why Clarke worked very hard for this. Seeing everyone smile, Clarke thought she did pretty well.

“Thanks for coming, Bell.” Clarke hugged her friend, and now detective, Bellamy Blake.

“Someone had to be here in representation of the Blakes. O sends her regards and I made sure I sent her as many pictures as I could.” Bellamy smiled rubbing the black beard he sported now. “Echo is waiting for me outside and you know how she is with the cravings. She demands ice cream so I do really have to go. Congrats again, Clarke!”

Clarke hugged and kissed Bellamy’s cheek. “You’re going to be a crazy dad for sure. Take care, Bell!”

Clarke waved and right at the entrance she noticed her friends coming in. Clarke hugged Monty and Harper, thanking them for their presence in joining her. Those two married and had a kid 5 years ago. Things were looking good for Clarke’s circle of friends. Jasper and Monroe followed right behind, and once Clarke welcomed them she was ready to continue meeting other local critics and press. Her feet were killing her, she wanted nothing but to get home and get these heels off but she had to mingle some more.

“I have to say I’m surprised, Mrs. Griffin.”

Clarke turned around to meet a tall white male in his mid 40s. The full beard was what gave him away.

“Mr. McCreary, thank you for coming.” Clarke extended her hand to meet her most ruthless critic.

He shook her hand eyeing her work carefully. “This is quite different, Mrs. Griffin. I never expected to see such darkness in you, but this particular painting is raw, I feel it in my core. I can see the pain on the faces of this family. I feel sadness pouring from the canvas. The black and white combination, is not easy to make it alive but you’ve done well.”

Clarke perked her brow. “Thanks. I ah, I poured some of my personal feelings to try and show something else, considering the last time I evoked laughter according to you.”

“I feel this could be the boom you were waiting for, Mrs. Griffin. Yes, last time I was let down, that what I heard about the promising artist from DC was not what I saw in your art, however, I am intrigued with what you showed me here. I’ll post my full review on my website and other art outlets, but I’d love to speak with you more about this raw kind of art you’re proposing. Eligius could benefit by having a full exhibit of yours, or at least a smaller exhibition instead of a full one. A flawless review of mine could put some of this over $10,000 if you let me.”

“Eligius is our competition. Why would I exhibit with them?”

“Because I’ll be by your side to bring you exposure in the higher spheres that you’re currently lacking. I see you stopped using Polis Magazine as self promo, which I believe is exactly what you needed to do to make your own pathway. This is the right way to go. I see your potential, now the only thing left is for you to take that step. You have my card, call me whenever you wish to talk.” The man bowed his head.

Soon another critic came to speak with Clarke, leaving her no time to dwell on the sudden change of McCreary.

Costia approached Clarke with a clear question mark on her face.

“I saw you two talking, how was it? Did he rip you apart or has he finally opened his eyes to your talent?”

Clarke twisted her lips, “he liked it. Offered me a gig at Eligius, but I don’t know.”

“I think you should listen to what he has to say at least.” Costia looked again at the art Clarke designed. “You’ve worked your ass off the past few months and took a risk with this new style. As I told you before, Eligius doesn’t scare me. On the contrary, use that to your advantage. McCreary can be a son of a bitch with his critiques, like the total asshole he is, but he knows art and if you piqued his interest take that chance, Clarke.” Costia offered a warm smile, resting her hand on her shoulder offering the confidence Clarke might be lacking. “Now go and get yourself new clients!”

Clarke nodded and continued to meet other people.

The rest of the night flowed easily, Clarke relaxed more as she heard the comments of the guests and other local art critics and forgot about the absence of her wife.

________________

Lexa swallowed again because she couldn’t have heard right. She licked her lips and reached for the glass of water dripping its condensation onto the mahogany desk of her office, sitting with her managing director Gaia Abebe, who happened to be Indra’s daughter. The chemistry teacher of TonDC High in one of the weekend hangouts Lexa attended with her former coworkers commented her daughter was back in the States looking for a job and after Lexa checked her work in Europe, she immediately brought her in to lead Polis Magazine into what she hoped was better days.

“You have to be kidding me, Mr. Wallace. Why?”

The old Dante Wallace, sighed slowly. He looked tired, his face pale and wrinkled with age, his white hair already missing on the sides. Lexa wasn’t expecting this news, not so suddenly.

“Adding new blood and with more money we might be able to get that kickstart Polis needs, Ms. Woods. I am very old now, and even though art is still a passion of mine, I have no energy left to manage this business. I spoke with my lawyers and as I said to you, one day, I am giving you Polis. Well, at least some part of it.”

Lexa sighed, taking the folder and reading again the information Dante provided. “You’re giving me ownership of 50% of the shares? I… I don’t understand.”

“What my son did was unforgivable. He hurt your friends and did many awful things to you as well. With this gift, I hope I can somehow repair the scars you bare because of him. You’ve been nothing but the best for this magazine. It’s the least I can do for the people of Polis. Leave part of the company in good hands.”

Lexa closed her eyes for a second, shutting away the memories of the pain she and her friends endured under Emerson and Cage Wallace. Lexa squeezed her hand, she could feel the ghost pain of the knife inside her shoulder, the kicks and punches she got in return while trying to stop those bastards from putting a bullet in Clarke’s head.

“Lexa?” Gaia pulled Lexa from that dark place.

“I uh, um, who bought the other half?” Lexa asked shocked releasing the tension from her body.

“Russell Lightbourne.” Gaia answered on behalf of the old man.

“Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Russell Lightbourne has other businesses related to technology and space exploration. It’s interesting that he bought the shares.”

“I see.”

“Mr. Lightbourne will be here this Monday to discuss how to manage the magazine and you’ll begin as new owners at the beginning of September once all paperwork has been cleared. I’ll leave everything to the lawyers and if you ever need anything tell Maya to contact me during this transition. Good luck, Ms. Woods. Thank you for your hard work and congratulations.” Dante offered his wrinkled hand and Lexa shook it firmly. Dante Wallace took a long, reminiscing look around the office that many years ago, in another decade had been his and nodded. Leaving slowly, supporting his weight on a cane.

Lexa sighed, massaging her throbbing temples.

“Congratulations boss.” Gaia said with a happy smile, yet Lexa shook her head.

“I don’t deserve this. The magazine hasn’t been selling well and you know it’s been really hard the past few years.”

“Lexa, you’ve put Polis out there. Yes, many have worked just as much, but you gave life and made Polis your own.”

“No, this is my fault! I was so busy with my personal career that I didn’t give enough of my time to my people. This is on me. The failure of Polis is my responsibility. No wonder _Damocles Weekly_ has been kicking our asses. Diyoza has always been on top of things and I didn’t do my job as I was supposed to.”

“Diyoza is a woman who is relentless, and will do whatever it takes. She has published gossip, has trashed artists to create clout. You know her style is far from ethical and that’s how they sell their product. You’re nothing like her and the people of Polis respect your leadership and what you have done. You’re strict but fair and have never stepped on anyone to make a cover. This is not on you, Lexa.”

Lexa cradled her head in her hands, her feelings of confusion, uncertainty and disappointment leaving her with a headache. She lifted her eyes to look at the brown eyes of Gaia.

“We already reduced our personnel in the last couple of years to keep Polis afloat. Of course we took a hit when Damocles appeared on the market but we have been on a downhill spiral since then and I couldn’t do a thing.”

“Wallace didn’t have the money after all the harm Cage caused. You did what you could to save as many jobs as possible, but you’re no God. The economic situation already hit us hard, but if the Lightbourne’s are as interested as we hope they are maybe we can keep Polis alive. This is a big opportunity to put all your ideas with the right budget into play, Lexa. You own at least half of this brand and this is your chance!”

Lexa leaned back in her chair, thinking over how they could recover some of their sales and gain the traction needed to maintain Polis.

“We have to prepare a new proposal to bring Polis to the top. Something that goes in line with the current changes and atmosphere. If we do that, we can present this to Mr. Lightbourne and hope he supports it. Otherwise I don’t know how we can keep this business going for long.”

-oo-

Lexa and Gaia spent the rest of their Saturday throwing ideas back and forth, trying to make a good plan to engage the new co-owner and begin the transition which Lexa hoped could save the company.

“People are getting tired of waiting for the monthly issue and with Damocles pursuing similar content, of course we’re lagging. We have to even the playing field. If this co-ownership works they can give us the monetary support to make the changes we need to get competitive again. I don’t have enough money to support this whole thing yet. I’m just a book writer so it will depend on the Lightbourne’s to infuse the magazine capital at first.”

Gaia narrowed her eyes, she scratched her very short platinum white hair analyzing the proposal. “That could be a first step, but what about our interviews for next month? Damocles already published theirs first. Again.”

“We go digital too, we need more social media interactions, to be able to cover as much as we can and we need to use what Damocles doesn’t have. Alexandria.”

“It’s going to take at least until Christmas to know if we can recover or go into bankruptcy. Damocles replaced the void Azgeda left and ended up overtaking the market and are about to burn us into ashes.”

“I won’t let that happen, Gaia. I’ll do everything in my power to keep this place standing. Thank you for being here for them when I wasn’t available.”

“No need to thank me, Lexa. You gave me a job knowing how many others rejected me, since I was a younger version of what others editors in chief expected. You believed in me and that’s what the people of Polis will continue to do. We trust you, Commander.”

Lexa perked her brow and looked with curiosity at the younger black woman. “Where did you hear that?”

Gaia giggled, “My mom told me once that’s what your students used to call you behind your back during your school teaching days. Now I see why.”

Lexa curved her lips just the slightest, remembering who used to call her like that too. “Yeah…”

Lexa stretched her arms and stifled a yawn, “It’s been a long night, Gaia. I think that what we have might serve as a good starting point and we’ll take it from there in the next meeting. It’s already late now. See you Monday morning, say hi to Indra for me.”

Lexa stood up and walked towards the exit stretching her back and limbs after hours of preparing a business proposal that would interest Mr. Lightbourne. She looked at Maya’s already empty desk and left her a post-it asking her to set up a meeting with her main staff at 11am, to give them the news about the change of management.

When Lexa looked at the clock on the wall, her eyes widened and she felt like someone sucker-punched her in the stomach. It was way past 10pm. 11:42pm to be exact.

“Shit!”

Lexa pulled out her phone from her slacks that was in silent mode and noticed that the screen was full with thousands of missed calls and texts from her wife, Anya and friends. 

“Goddamit!” Lexa rubbed her hand over her face. She had no idea this meeting was going to take so much of her time and she totally forgot about Clarke’s exhibit.

Still, Lexa drove to Eden hoping the event extended but when she passed around the gallery all lights were off.

She knew that Clarke was going to be really pissed at her and she was going to the dog house tonight.

-oo-

The return home was filled with anxiety. not just because she wasn’t there to see the result of Clarke’s efforts, but now the magazine that had been her second home was about to change drastically.

The ride on the elevator to her apartment had been quick and once she reached her floor, she found all the lights off except for a lamp at the entrance that Clarke always left on for whenever Lexa returned late from her trips or work. She dumped the keys in the nearby bowl and walked as silently as she could upstairs to find her wife already in bed.

Lexa moved slower, making sure to not disturb the sleep for her wife. She showered and changed into her sleepwear before moving into the bed. She lifted the covers and slid in.

After a minute and feeling horrible, she tried to spoon Clarke so she could apologize, but as soon as her arm touched the blonde Clarke scooted farther away.

“Don’t,” was all she said, before pulling tighter the blanket over her body.

“I’m sorry, love. I can explain.” Lexa whispered hopeful that she was going to be listened to.

“Not now, Lexa I’m tired and I want to sleep.”

“Okay.” Lexa returned to the side of her bed, giving Clarke the space she clearly wanted and looked at the ceiling in the darkness of her bedroom. Thinking about ways to ask for forgiveness tomorrow morning. Clarke tended to be stubborn but Lexa always managed to reach her heart in no time.

“Good night, Clarke. I’m sorry.”

Lexa said before she closed her eyes, hoping that a special breakfast and flowers would remove some of the justified anger her wife was feeling.

The dread in the pit of her stomach didn’t disappear, uncertainty feeding her soul with what the future had in store for her. She cared for Polis, she loved its people, there was only one choice for Lexa. She wouldn’t leave them to fend for themselves. She would give everything to keep Polis Magazine standing, even if it was the last thing she ever did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again! Hoping for a bi-weekly update schedule, but don't take my word for it.  
Anyway, hope you're enjoying the thing so far, and thanks for commenting and for those reading for the first time or re-reading again, you're making my days with the live commentary. I am having a blast.
> 
> Special thanks to unaligned-valkyrie.tumblr.com for editing!
> 
> See you, more like, read you the next update!
> 
> Tana


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa adjusted the last buttons of the lilac button up, checking herself in the long mirror in her bedroom. She wore a charcoal pant suit combined with the lilac button up tucked into the pants, with a black belt with a golden buckle. Her hair was held in a bun keeping it away from her face, she was wearing light makeup with rosy cheeks and flesh color lipstick. The dim light of the lamp nearby barely helping Lexa to finish getting ready but it was better than to wake her wife so early, considering the gallery opens daily at 10am.

She adjusted the collar but Lexa wasn’t convinced this was the look she was looking for.

“Leave the collar open.” Lexa heard the groggy voice from behind. “Says casual but not fooling around.” Clarke added deep in the blankets of the bed.

She turned around and offered a smile to her sleepy wife. “Sorry to wake you.” Lexa unbuttoned her collar as her wife suggested, grabbing her golden wedding band from the dresser and sliding it on her finger she walked towards the bed, sitting on the edge and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead.

“Morning.”

“Seven am? Where’s the fire?” Clarke yawned, rubbing her eyes full of sleep.

“My new business partner arrives today, remember? I want to be early to prepare and talk with the staff.” Lexa pushed a wild lock of blonde hair from Clarke’s face.

“I thought it was next Monday.”

Lexa shook her head smiling softly. She never stopped being enraptured by Clarke’s beauty. She traced with her thumb the freckle on her lip. “Go back to sleep, love. I’m still very sorry I missed your latest exhibit. Won’t happen again.”

Clarke sighed burying herself deeper into her blanket and pillow, “You’re not getting off the hook so easily Mrs. Griffin-Woods, but I trust you at least will call if something comes up next time. Good luck, babe. You’ll impress them, Lex. Still kinda crazy that you have half of the magazine, huh? When I stop being mad at you we totally should celebrate. Dante really surprised me.”

Lexa smiled wider and kissed Clarke’s cheek before departing, she grabbed her suit jacket from the hanger and put it on before heading for work. “I love you.”

“Love you too...” Clarke mumbled before returning to sleep.

-oo-

As soon Lexa arrived, she headed into her office, reading over her plan once more before Maya announced the arrival of the other owner.

She kept going over and over the main points and hoping this was going to be in sync with what Russell Lightbourne could have in mind.

Her phone rang and Lexa took a deep breath before answering.

“Yes? Of course. I’ll be there. Thanks Maya.” Lexa shut the phone and grabbed her laptop ready to meet her new partner.

On her way she met with Gaia who offered a reassuring smile and both moved to the meeting room. Lexa knocked before heading inside.

As soon as they stepped inside they met with a tall, skinny man with broad shoulders, standing quietly looking outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Good morning. Mr. Lightbourne?” Lexa asked.

As the man turned around, Lexa noticed his greying hair and beard, and deep blue eyes. “Ah, the famous Alexandria? It is a pleasure.” The man extended his hand and Lexa shook it.

“Ah likewise, sir. I ah, I was hoping we could discuss the current situation of Polis and hear about your development ideas, Mr. Lightbourne. I’m very excited to bring Polis to a new chapter with you.”

“Of course, but to be honest, I trust what you’re doing here is good. Mr. Wallace spoke very highly of you.”

“This is Gaia, managing director, who will help with catching you up with all you need to know about Polis Magazine.” Lexa was quick to introduce before they all took a seat. “If I may ask, why did you acquire Polis? I’ve read a bit about your background and you seemed to be more invested in astronomy and tech development for space exploration.”

The man chuckled, nodding. “That’s a good point. The truth is this is more of a whim of my daughter. She’s been interested in your work and she was the one who told me about Wallace selling. Since I thought this was a good chance for her to focus on something besides biology, I said why not.” Russell shrugged.

“Oh,” Lexa tilted her head not expecting this answer. “So um, should we discuss this with her then?”

“Sure, I suppose while she arrives maybe we- Ah! There she is!” Right on the clock, Russell stood up and greeted a medium haired blonde woman, a bit shorter than Clarke, Lexa noticed. She had brown eyes and a very slim figure. She was hugging the man tightly with the clear connection of a family bond. Something in Lexa stirred, causing a pang in her chest as she thought about the last time her father hugged her just like that. Which was many, _many_, years ago.

“Hey dad. Sorry for being late.” She turned around chirpily and smiled at Lexa. Her eyes roamed Lexa from head to toe.

“You really look way better in person I must say, Ms. Woods. I’m so excited to work with you.”

Russell laughed. “Josie, please let’s sit. I want you to hear Ms. Woods’ proposal.”

“It is a real pleasure to meet you, Alexandria. I’m Josephine.”

“Ms. Lightbourne and uh, it’s Lexa please.” Lexa accepted her hand in greeting.

“Josephine is okay.” The blonde winked and took a seat.

“Very well, let’s begin.” Lexa turned her laptop and started to explain the current situation of the magazine.

-oo-

After a successful first meeting with her new partner, they agreed to continue preparing the transition in the upcoming weeks.

Lexa gathered her main staff as requested by Maya, ready to begin the transformation that was so needed to try to revive the magazine.

The faces around the main table looked on with apprehension, Lexa could feel their stress and anxiety.

“Thank you for being here. The reason I have called you is because I need to inform you about the new changes that we’ll be applying starting September.” Lexa began looking around the table at the men and women sitting around with their eyes fixed on her.

“Mr. Wallace has sold the magazine.” That brought out some gasps and murmurs. The first thought of many was about losing their jobs.

Lexa raised her hand to quiet them. “Yes, Mr. Wallace thought it was in the best interests of Polis to let go. Once the paperwork clears, I’ll own half of this magazine and the other, your new editor-in-chief, Ms. Josephine Lightbourne.”

More murmurs began around the table, some were concerned and others slightly skeptical.

“The reason for this new arrangement is because I’ll be fully committed to the digital version of the magazine. Ms. Lightbourne will be working with the print team and will have her own meeting after we conclude here to begin the preparations to make this transition as smooth as possible. Me and Gaia had an early discussion with her and she approved of our ideas to begin this new partnership. I know it has been truly hard but we have a new investor who is willing to put the money where we need it. I promise I will work hard along each of you to make this magazine return to its glory!”

At that Ryder began to clap, really happy to hear that his longtime friend was given a precious gift. The rest joined Ryder after a beat. Lexa raised her hand again to calm them.

“Polis is going to evolve and to make it happen we have to keep moving our journalists to get those interviews, showcase the new exhibits and get exclusives. We cannot stand and wait for the news to come to us. Damocles has been getting the jump on us and Charmaine Diyoza is not here to play.” Lexa spoke with conviction and hoping to pump her staff. “Take a look at the new organization of our departments. I’ll give you the highlights right now, Josephine will provide more in depth information with each department this afternoon.” Lexa put on her reading glasses and took the file from the large wooden table. Maya quickly delivered copies to all members sitting on the rectangular table.

“Sindri,” Lexa stood up from her chair and began walking around with the information at hand. “As art director you’ve done a great job so far. I’m gonna need your team to focus on visual changes, to use colors in a different way that projects a new modern Polis. The next monthly issue has too look renewed. I expect a new design by the end of this week.”

“Delano, as graphic designer director, your team will be tasked with not just the print edition but the new website we’ll be creating. I need you working this week as hard as ever, by the end of this month we’ll be launching the new website and we need to start creating a good first impression.”

“Tarik, congratulations. You’re our new web editor. Make sure to work closely with the editors team to have interesting content on the website to pique the readers’ interest and bring them to the print version. You’ll be looking for bloggers and aspiring writers who are eager to work as soon as this meeting ends. We need all hands on board before our new launch next month.”

There were claps in the room that Lexa quieted with the lift of her hand. “I won’t lie to you. Polis is in grave danger of closing if things don’t improve.” Lexa had to be honest and the best thing was to say it upfront. “I know that this is the only income for many and Gaia and I have thought on ways to do better and keep this place afloat, but we need you to work harder than ever during this initial month and see how things flow from there. It was really hard already when Wallace was the sole owner, but now I hope we can not just keep this going but improve it as well.”

A weird silence engulfed the meeting room, but Lexa continued with confidence. “To succeed, make more connections with people and offer them a voice. Alexandria will also play a bigger role to attract advertisers and new readers. It’s going to be hard, considering there is tough competition. We need to revive Polis Magazine. Last trimester we didn’t get as many advertisers and our numbers aren’t as good as they used to be. We need to boost those ads people, make them want to be in our magazine again, if we all put in the work we’re going to kick Damocles in the nuts and make Polis the number one not just on DC but in the country!!”

“YEAH!” The staff cheered in unison.

Lexa nodded removing her reading glasses and was left with a sense of hope, happy to see that the staff at least was on board with her new plan.

Lexa returned to her office in the 12th floor of the corporate building, large coffee in hand since it was going to be a very long day and sat down with a huff on her leather chair.

“Ambitious project you got there.” Ryder commented as he also sat in front of the brunette.

Lexa lifted her gaze from her computer screen to look at her long time friend and photographer of the magazine.

“I know, we’re going to need more staff. We’re barely holding on as it is, Ryder. The sales department is drowning and I don’t know what else we can do to help keep Polis circulating.” Lexa massaged her temples.

“Damocles is more based on gossip than real journalism, I think you have cultivated a loyal audience, Lexa. You got this.”

“I can’t let this place crumble, Ryder. Dante left me Polis believing in me. I cannot disappoint him and all these people. They depend on me to keep their jobs.”

“After the Cage and Mount Weather gang situation, Polis was already in danger, Lexa. Wallace left you a magazine on the verge of bankruptcy but we all trust you to keep it standing.”

“I won’t fail them again.” Lexa assured as she typed on her computer.

She widened her eyes and shook her head. “Did you read this garbage? How to make your man moan in pleasure?” Lexa read the headline of an article in the Damocles website. “Is this why they are selling more? This is… I have no words. Why is it about the men’s pleasure anyway? If they can’t even make a woman come properly.” Lexa eyed Ryder, “No offense.” She closed the page immediately and took out her notepad to begin building her own idea for the website of the magazine.

“Maybe Alexandria could cover topics of healthy sex in the digital version. I think I could share a bit of my experience as a member of the LGBT community too. Connect with all kinds of people and not just fantasize about what a man needs.” Lexa began writing putting as many ideas as they come to mind.

“I respect your commitment, Lexa. However, as it is you’re going to have less time to spend with your family and friends. Don’t let Polis consume you. You’re still young, and with a whole future ahead. Take it step by step.”

“Thanks Ryder, but I assure you there is nothing to worry about my personal life. Did you bring the SD memory card?”

Ryder pulled from his pocket the item in question and gave it to Lexa.

Lexa copied the files quickly before returning it to her friend.

“Here you go, thanks for the pictures and the video, Ryder. At least I can catch up a bit with what I missed.”

“Clarke was incredible. The exhibit was full and I heard some critics saying good things about Clarke’s new work. This could be her professional breakthrough and of course, this story will be covered in next month’s print edition. Unless you want it online as well?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

Lexa tried to imagine the smile on Clarke’s face as people talked about the art that Clarke loved so much. Clarke’s laughter and joy as she shared her art with the guests is something that filled Lexa with so much love and pride for the blonde. “I hope it is. Clarke has always put so much of herself into her work. I hated how Clarke was saddened since that so-called top critic McCreary bashed her work last year. He clearly knows nothing about art.”

“That’s the professional art world, Lexa. Clarke is an amateur, still not taken seriously in some circles so she needs to garner more positive reviews from top names. I think this was a great first step for her with the critics that Costia managed to invite. However, her most important critic didn’t make it huh?” Ryder quickly brought Lexa back to the real world with his comment.

“Tell me about it, I almost ended up on the couch but I made her fave breakfast Sunday morning and bought tons of flowers for her. Clarke can be very stubborn.”

Ryder smiled, standing up to return to his desk. “She loves you very much. Her speech was all about you as her number one source of inspiration for her art. You have a good woman, Lexa. I think she’s way worth fighting for.” Ryder winked and exited Lexa’s office to return to his job.

_____________

Clarke had been trying to snatch an art curator from Boston that could help them prepare Eden’s Christmas themed exhibit and get more pieces that could attract potential customers to the gallery. Things have been very slow, especially since Clarke hasn’t been getting as many commissions as she would have liked lately. As much as she preferred to do commissions over a 1000 dollars, sometimes she had to do simple stuff for a 100 instead.

Yes. Being Alexandria’s wife had its perks, yet this isn’t why Clarke wanted to pursue art. She wanted to be recognized for her talent and not Lexa’s reputation, which was one of the reasons why some people, especially younger fans stopped by the gallery with the excuse to see the exhibits. All in the hopes to meet Lexa. No wonder McCreary used that against her, because it was the truth. Her spreads and reviews in Polis were because of Lexa. It was time she came out of her shell and proved herself as a real artist after spending years studying and perfecting her craft.

“Yes, we’re trying to get a more diverse collection for our Christmas exhibit.” Clarke said on the cellphone, holding it between her shoulder and ear as she walked outside of her workshop. “Oh I see, maybe for next year? Yep, alright. Thank you for your time.” Clarke ended the call and sighed frustrated. She stopped on the front desk to chat with Niylah.

“The curator is not a go, he has already another exhibit in the works. Call Ark U and see if they have anyone who can work with us this semester. Costia has been really busy with her moving to do it.”

“I’ll work on it, and Clarke?” Niylah offered her usual sympathetic smile. “Your work is well known in town. That has to count for something.”

“Yeah, I guess. But selling paintings to Lexa and friends doesn’t count and it counts much less when an art headline begins with Alexandria’s wife.…” Clarke annoyance was clear as day but there was nothing she could to at the moment. She had to keep carving her own path and push her image apart from her wife. “I’ll be back in a while.”

Clarke walked towards the parking lot, intrigued by McCreary’s proposal. She had been working closely with Costia, earning good reviews at a local level but so far she hasn’t been able to become a well-known artist outside of DC. Someone with the influence of Paxton McCreary could put her in the scope of more potential clients.

Everyone knew her mostly from being Alexandria Woods’ wife. Clarke was more than a writer’s wife, she was an artist, graduated from college and still was struggling to sell her work without Lexa’s name being attached first on the pitch. She hated that.

She got in her car after a short walk from her gallery. The city was buzzing with movement from the cars and people heading to the nearest bus stop or shop. A honk here and there could be heard from time to time as everyone travelled to their destinations. The heat of the summer could be felt even with the A/C turned up to the max.

Washington, DC was a great place to develop her art considering all the museums in the surrounding area. All Clarke had to do was start to expand her name to be able to attract more clients. Way out of Lexa’s circle of influence.

Having a couple of commissions per year wasn’t so bad if it was a 4 figure sum, but with what she was currently doing she was far from being a name in the higher art circles. She really needed to remove herself from the shadow of Alexandria Woods and this could be her shot.

Clarke drove to the restaurant where Paxton McCreary was going to discuss his offer with her. Clarke had all the things in mind that she could use, as Costia suggested, to get his sudden interest in her work to go in her favor.

-oo-

Clarke listened intently, McCreary had lots of experience with painters on different levels, mostly talent from San Francisco. If Clarke could get her name around more maybe things will finally tip the scale her way.

The soon to be 33-year old artist took a sip of her Coke before she replied. The place was filled with patrons all over the tables, the low voice of conversation resounded all around the restaurant as men and women walked carrying trays with drinks and food. It was clear that many decided to have business talk during lunch.

“It’s interesting what you’re saying. The Greene Foundation has been part of the development of new artists including myself and I’ve been traveling between DC and New York to continue showcasing my work.”

“Indeed, it’s in New York where I heard about you for the first time. However, your sample in LA left me wanting more. Your style is fresh, a contemporary design but I’ve seen that in many artists. However, what I saw yesterday was something that could set you apart, Mrs. Griffin. Simply exquisite.”

“Seriously? Last time you posted lots of shit about my work and suddenly you find it exquisite?” Clarke was still doubtful. She had to thread carefully.

“Mrs. Griffin. You’re young, passionate, but without the fire to demand that attention. Your work on Saturday night evoked in me a sense of doom, a metaphor for our realities and that contrast was expressed beautifully through your strokes. As I told you, I have a contact in Eligius. Having your exhibit there could be positive for you since it would distance you from all your friendly connections. No Eden, no Polis, a new battleground where it’s you against the world and put yourself above the rest in town. I’m not saying to ignore Eden. You have a safe bet in that gallery but widening your areas could be what you need, Mrs. Griffin.”

“Clarke please.” The blonde said thinking about this opportunity. “And how do you suggest I get that attention?”

“Clarke, then. If you prepare let’s say a couple of new paintings or even a sculpture to make a small themed art showcase, I could use Eligius Gallery to launch you at national level as I’d invite more art critics and people in the art circles that wouldn’t come to this city at all. If I vouch for you they’d come. My guarantee to you is to sell your work for the tens of thousands of dollars they are worth if they are anything close to what I saw, and my contacts would bring even international critics from Paris, Brussels and many other art centers where your name could totally shine on its own, but you have to create something that is above the level of your comfort zone. It has to be raw, it has to be about Clarke the artist, not Clarke the protegé of Costia Greene or the wife of Alexandria Woods. Only Clarke Griffin!”

Clarke widened her eyes hearing how sure he was of this move. “And what would you request in return for your support in this?”

“Besides your friendship and invitation to other exhibits?” McCreary smiled in a way that seemed foreign to the harsh critic. “I’ll let you know when I know.”

Narrowing her eyes Clarke thought about this new association with this man. “I’d like to set up a meeting next week so we can discuss this in detail. I’d like to hear more before I make my final decision. But this is a start.”

“We can do that.” McCreary raised his glass with his beer in cheers. “For new beginnings!”

Smiling, Clarke raised her glass. “For new beginnings.”

-oo-

After the sun went down, Clarke returned to her office after chatting with McCreary and talked to Costia about everything that had been discussed, and all the potential in this partnership if things worked out and what could mean for her and Eden.

Clarke was still wary an wanted to chat with her mentor.

“The Greene Foundation’s role has always been supporting new talent. I don’t agree with him that you’ve been abusing its influence and much less Lexa’s. We might have used the resources we had to boost your art, but your talent is your own.”

“What do I do?”

“Make the art _you_ want. Eligius or any other gallery will be lucky to have you, and don’t let that egocentric asshat forget that.”

Clarke finally released the tension she had. “Yeah, thanks for the reminder Cos.”

“I’m heading home early. Anya is making dinner tonight. Can you close shop today?”

“Sure thing.”

“Believe in your talent, Clarke. We all believe in you, now all you have to do is believe it yourself.”

Clarke remained in her office still assimilating this huge work proposal. She was going to be working full time on this and she was going to require every bit of inspiration to do an outstanding piece considering this was someone who was not connected to Lexa in any way. This was her chance to finally shine without the shadow of her wife looming over her. She understood that everything Lexa did was to help, but maybe she could try to do this with McCreary and see the results.

A knock on the door distracted her, making Clarke realize it was already way past closing time when she checked her old father’s watch on her wrist.

“Hey, you.” Lexa peeked into the office. “I called but you had your phone off. Busy?”

Clarke left the proposal on her desk safely guarded inside to review later. “Not for you.” Clarke winked. “How was work?”

Lexa entered the office and Clarke noticed the beautiful bouquet she brought with her.

“It went well. Things look hopeful for Polis.” Lexa offered the bouquet. “For you. I’m sorry for missing your exhibition.” Lexa offered Clarke the beautiful arrangement with orchids, roses, carnations and tulips.

“They’re beautiful.” Clarke accepted them, pecking Lexa’s lips in gratitude.  
Lexa kissed the tip of Clarke’s nose. “Anything for you, love. I know how hard you worked for this. I should have been here but well...”

“It sucked you weren’t here but I get it, Lexa. Polis is important to you and now you’re responsible for it. I’ll show you my work but first let me put these in a vase.” Clarke quickly found a vase around her workshop to put the flowers and left them over her table.

She laced her fingers with Lexa’s and walked her towards the exhibit area.

There, she showed the canvas of her main piece and stepped aside to let Lexa take a look.

It was a woman holding a small kid on her bosom. They looked completely different, as if there was no relationship between them. However, what captured the attention was the look of adoration on the mother was noticeable even in the dark alley where they were. 

“I wanted to portray that family is the people we make connections with, not necessarily by blood but by bond. I showcased different types of families, some happy, some sad, but this one is my fave. It is one full of love and hope.”

“Everything looks incredible.” Lexa took a step closer to the main canvas that was titled _Necessitudines (Family Ties) _to observe the details of the artwork. “It’s wonderful seeing that happiness irradiate from the art.” Lexa lowered her sight as in lost in her own head and Clarke quickly knew this was upsetting Lexa. Not her plan at all but she knew her wife was still carrying skeletons in her closet that she - as usual - refused to share to not burden Clarke.

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face and made her look at her. “Baby, I was hoping to make you smile. Not to sadden you.”

“I’m not sad, just makes me think about family.” Lexa pulled Clarke in a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“Ours?”

“Mine, of what it was and what it could have been; but also ours.”

“I’ve been thinking about ours too. We’ve been working hard this past decade, Lex. There are a lot of changes coming soon, but I think in the very near future we could be ready to bring a new member to our little family. Don’t you think?”

Lexa smiled and it was so pure, her green eyes with a brightness that lightened her heart. “I know we have discussed this a lot, my love. Maybe once I have gotten the gist of managing Polis and making sure it doesn’t go bankrupt, maybe then we could have this talk again. I can’t wait to expand our family.” Lexa leaned and kissed Clarke softly, sucking her lips with the tenderness that characterized Lexa.

“You’re the most talented artist out there. I’m honored you wanted to share this with me, Clarke. Thank you.”

“Of course, silly. You’re my inspiration every day.”

“I hope you’re not doing anything indecent in that gallery cos I’m coming through!” Raven shouted from the other hall.

“Please Ray. As if Lexa would dare to fuck me senseless at work.” Clarke smiled seeing the blush on Lexa’s face.

“Lexa no, but _you_ would.” Raven greeted Lexa. “That mustang needs a check up, Woods. You’re mistreating my baby.” Raven hugged Clarke next.

“Raven, you tuned it up last month.” Lexa rolled her eyes at Clarke’s bestie antics.

“My girl needs some loving. Anyway, Niylah told me you were still in here, and since Costia left I brought you the security plan. Give it a read and let me know before I begin the installation.”

“Thanks Rae.”

“Okay lovebirds I’ll see you later.” Raven waved and just like that disappeared from their view.

Lexa chuckled shaking her head. “Want to dine to celebrate?”

“Let me get my purse and we can go.”

-oo-

The restaurant was pretty empty for a Monday night, which was a relief. Clarke preferred it like this, when she could go out with her wife and do simple things like dining out. Of course, from time to time Lexa would meet a fan and then their moment would be broken, but at least, not tonight.

As they shared some wine and good food they caught up with their day.

“The new changes in the magazine hopefully will make things better. Josephine seems to be really in tune with our needs. Right now the budget is tight but I believe we can do this.” Lexa explained.

“Josephine?” Clarke arched her brow. “Lots of trust already with your business partner huh?”

“Josephine Lightbourne is young, she’s around your age actually. She has fresh ideas and I feel we will work pretty well together.”

“Hope it works indeed. I know you care deeply about Polis and you’ve been writing really great stuff. I think that you will reach more readers like this. Congrats baby!” Clarke raised her glass with wine.

Lexa cheered along and took a generous sip before asking Clarke in return. “Ryder told me the art critics liked your latest exhibit? Even that distasteful critic?”

“Oh yeah. Paxton McCreary was there and he wrote a positive review about my main piece. He posted it already on his blog.”

“McCreary?” Lexa asked. She used the napkin to wipe some sauce from her lips.

“Yup. The one and only. He actually offered me a space to exhibit new work at Eligius. I think I’ll accept.”

Lexa reached for Clarke’s hand, and the blonde squeezed it in return. “I’m happy for you but why don’t you ask Dante instead or other critics? You know Wallace has more contacts-”

“Lexa, I want to make my own connections. I appreciate that you’re always there for me but I need to do this on my own. I’m tired that at every art showcase I’m introduced first as your wife and second as an artist. McCreary knows this stuff and I think he can put my name where I need to be. I’m not asking for your permission on the matter.”  
Lexa sighed, pinching her nose. “Clarke, I don’t want to argue about this again. I’m just worried that this McCreary guy is going to play you dirty.”

“Lexa, just because it sounds too good to be true doesn’t mean it’s not real. Why is it so hard for you to believe that I can be taken seriously without your help?” Clarke dropped her fork on the table with more force than necessary. This was a topic that always ended up with them having some arguments. Today was no exception it seemed

Lexa raised her hand in apology. “I never said that, Clarke. I’m just skeptical about someone who destroyed you in his last review. I don’t want to see you hurt again. You know I support you and if this is what you want then I’m happy.” Lexa offered a conciliatory smile but Clarke knew that Lexa was everything but happy. Lexa was overprotective sometimes and tended to shield Clarke from the world. After everything they went through Clarke could understand it, but she wasn’t naive anymore.

“You implied it, Lexa. You can make a contract for a million for your novels but I can’t dare to try to sell my paintings for thousands?”

Lexa shook her head, “Clarke I’m simply wondering about this guy’s intentions, that’s all. I just… let’s finish the food, please?”

Clarke relented because they didn't gain anything from having another argument.

-oo-

After a tense dinner they walked hand in hand in silence, as the few cars and pedestrians moved around.

“I’ll get the car.” Lexa said before heading to the parking lot.

Clarke pulled her jean jacket closer and waited for her wife to pick her up. Clarke heard a noise nearby and walked towards the back alley where she thought there was like a cat in the garbage bin. When she approached that’s when she saw the same girl who robbed her rummaging the trash bags.

“Hey, it’s you again.” Clarke raised her hand trying to avoid intimidating the girl since the kid immediately took a defensive position. “You’re hungry? I uh, I have this bag with food.” Clarke showed her the package that she was carrying with leftovers more clearly. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

The girl walked slowly and Clarke could see better the little girl. She was really small and thin, her hair wild and her face dirty, but her blue eyes were fixed on her own. Alive and with a spark.

“Here.” Clarke offered her package for the girl to take. “I’m Clarke by the way.”

The girl remained quiet, she just took the package and took a step back.

“Are you alone?” Clarke asked but got no response. “Okay. Look, if you’re hungry or need anything you can find me at Eden, the gallery nearby the parking lot were we met. I wanna help if you let me.”

The honk of a car alerted Clarke that Lexa was waiting for her, she turned around to check that indeed it was her wife.

“I have to-” When Clarke looked back the girl was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Thanks for your patience. To be honest, writing is going slow, therefor updates will come less frequently. I wish I could send you speedier updates, but I want to keep a pace that is comfortable for me while I write the rest of the story. Worst case scenario once per month updates due to work being my number one priority as well. I appreciate your patience and your encouragement. Hope this was a good one to keep you around. I'll do my best to finish writing and have a better update schedule for your entertainment.
> 
> Sorry for the inconvenience and please hang in there.
> 
> Tana xx
> 
> Beta by unaligned-valkyrie


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa stared at her computer screen, the cursor blinking at a steady pace. Her hands hovered over the keyboard.

The empty word document looking back at her in mockery. The pain at the back of her neck reminding her how tense she was considering she has been working non-stop to be ready for the launch. August had flown by and in the blink of an eye she was about to be presented as the new owner of Polis to the press and investors in a matter of hours, as the calendar on the corner of her laptop reminded her today was September 1st.

Lexa closed her eyes and exhaled softly.

“Just let it flow. The words will come to you.” Lexa mumbled trying to ease the tightness in her back and clearing her mind to find the inspiration.

“The rest will come easy. Let it flow…”

“Shit! It’s about time I saw your ugly face!” Anya entered the office without even knocking breaking Lexa’s concentration.

Lexa sagged in her chair, glaring at her friend. “Are you serious? Why the hell did Maya let you in?”

Anya slumped on the chair in front of Lexa. “I bribed her with some muffins and coffee. Your assistant is about to go crazy just like the rest of your employees. Besides, I haven’t seen you in a month. Heck, not even your wife has seen much of you as far as I know.”

“Anya, you know I’m about to launch the new website and magazine today. I’ve been busy, that’s all.”

“I know, but not even on the weekends? Lex, come on. You have barely stepped foot in your own home. We miss you.” Anya reached for Lexa’s hand giving it a tight squeeze.

“As soon as I launch the new Polis, things will go back to normal, I promise. Right now I need to finish my new column and then go and review the final touches on the website, but I’ll see you tonight at the party.”

Anya sighed, “Alright but don’t overdo it. You look like crap.”

“Thanks An.”

Anya stood up went towards Lexa and gave her a half hug. “Everything will go as planned. Try to relax a bit. You feel tense.”

“Don’t worry, I will. Now get your butt outta here!”

Anya chuckled and waved goodbye.

Lexa took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders trying to ease the tightness of her muscles.

The magazine new image launch was driving her mad, taking so much time away from her family but she was sure things were going to calm down once she finished this. For now, she wrote a short text message to Clarke to let her know she was always present in her mind.

**LexaGW: **thinking of you. See you tonight for the party.

Lexa didn’t have to wait too long before her phone bleeped with a reply.

**ClarkeGW:** me too bby. I’m at the workshop but I’ll leave early so I can remove all the paint stains and fix my hair. love u xx

**LexaGW:** love you more

With a smile on her face Lexa began writing in her document.

_When I think about love. About that true, everlasting love, I wonder if that kind of love truly exists. A love that is meant to flourish against adversity. A love that only soulmates can truly reach._

_Many poets have shared their words of their feelings and thoughts about love, yet I always wondered if that magical, eternal love could be real._

_I’m just a beginner in what marriages refer to, I’ve been married for barely a decade yet every time I think about you, I feel my heart rumble in excitement. Like Neruda wrote in one of his works:_

‘_I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair._

_Silent and starving. I prowl to the streets._

_Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day_

_I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps…’_

_This is how I feel on a daily basis. I hunger for my spouse and everyday my love for her is as real as the air I breathe. Maybe true love exists or maybe I was blessed enough to find someone who loves me as much as I love them. Are we soulmates? I’m not sure I’d dare to imply that, it’s a word so ethereal yet, it feels right when I think about it and I envision you._

_Until I figure this out, let’s keep this between the sheets._

Lexa saved her draft, emailed it to the editors and quickly moved to the other departments to make sure everything was right on schedule.

As Anya had previously said, as soon as she stepped outside there was people moving everywhere, carrying messages and documents for one last review or to deliver the changes that were being requested in each department.

Lexa headed towards the office of Gaia - that was just on the other side of the floor of her own office, to make sure things were on time.

“Please tell me we’re on schedule.” Lexa strolled into the office, hands inside the pockets of her trousers. Trying to give a confident vibe but on the inside Lexa was a sea of nerves. Too much at stake to fail today.

Gaia raised her hand and answered a phone call quickly. “Yeah? Aha! Perfect, that works fine. Thanks.” Gaia ended the call and met Lexa.

“Everything has been confirmed. Press at the red carpet at 8pm sharp, then at 10:30pm you and Ms. Lightbourne will deliver your speeches to present our guests and sponsors with the new content and we go live right at the strike of midnight with the website.”

Lexa nodded. “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

“Everything is ready to go.” Gaia rested her hand over Lexa’s shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. “Go home and rest for tonight, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

“Please, Lexa. We have everything covered, there is no need for you to be here when you’ve done all you could. Now go nap or something.”

“Alright, call me if anything happens. See you tonight!” With that Lexa left the office and decided to pack her things and go home.

-oo-

The truth was that she couldn’t rest, not when there was so much at stake. The rebrand of the magazine, the potential sponsors they could get. Many things depended on a single event.

Lexa took a brief shower and immediately went to the hair salon to get ready. Her hair was completely straight, none of her characteristic curls in sight. She wore a white long sleeve blouse and a white flowy skirt that reached up to her knees, she contrasted with black heels.

Once she was ready, she went home to pick up her wife.

“Clarke are you re-” Lexa stopped on the main door, looking as Clarke walked down the stairs with a beautiful black gown, she was finishing putting on her earrings. “Wow, you- you look beautiful.” Lexa managed to say. Her eyes glued to the bit of cleavage that peaked out of Clarke’s dress.

Clarke chuckled and kissed softly Lexa’s cheek, removing with her thumb the remnants of her carmesí lipstick. “I’m ready as promised. You don’t look so bad yourself, Mrs. Griffin-Woods. If we weren’t on a time constraint I’d fuck the hell out of you.”

Lexa’s tip of her ears became a darker shade of red. “I uh, yes, but um, we need to get going.” Lexa smiled and taking Clarke’s hand guided her to their car.

Lexa drove to the event in record time. She dropped off her car at the entrance and soon flashes of cameras invaded her sight.

“There you are!” Gaia walked towards Lexa immediately guiding her to the red carpet. “We got some press coverage so you might as well smile for the cameras. Looking beautiful ladies. Now, Lexa, I need you to go charm the press and then we’ll continue inside to talk with the sponsors.”

“Ahm, Clarke can you go inside with Gaia. This will take a bit. Go grab a champagne and relax, okay? I’ll meet you there. Love you!”

Clarke sighed, nodding. She squeezed Lexa’s hand and followed Gaia inside the hotel.

Lexa hoped to have a more discreet entrance to this event but the press was already here. If she used it to promote the magazine it could go in her favor. She really hated to leave Clarke by herself but she had to focus in the magazine and not get questions about her marriage. Her private life was something that she valued very much.

The flashes of cameras assaulted her eyes. All she could hear was _Alexandria! Alexandria! Look here! Turn around! Smile!_

Lexa did as best as she could, portraying the image that the press loved and wanted. She walked and posed for a bit, taking the time to disclose some of the plans to the press about launching a new image for Polis.

After several minutes outside she finally reached the main hall. The place was packed with many people involved in the arts - from photographers, models, journalists and important business people. Waiters carried trays filled with beverages for all the guests, music played in the background, the voices of their guests lifted slightly over the soft tones being played.

Lexa let out a long breath, it looked that the event was well received. Lexa’s eyes roamed the room until she found the person she was looking for. Clarke was already chatting with Ryder which made Lexa smile in relief, she started to stroll towards her wife when Gaia appeared out of nowhere.

“Lexa, let me introduce you to some new people.” Gaia said with excitement.

“I was going to see if Clarke needed anything.” Lexa pointed towards her destination.

Gaia shook her head. “None of that. Right now we need to make connections. Clarke is happily entertained, no worries. Come on now.” Gaia began pulling Lexa and she had no way to deny the request, after all, this was the goal of the event. Gather new sponsors for the magazine.

Lexa shook hands, and made short talk with several businessmen and investors, making sure to leave a good impression and convince them of how great it would be for them to advertise in the magazine and their new website.

Lexa flowed around the large room, trying to cover as many potential clients as possible and welcoming guests. Except one.

“I don’t remember sending you an invitation, Diyoza.” Lexa stated with serious eyes. Looking at the brunette with mistrust.

The fake laugh didn’t amuse Lexa either. “Is that right? I thought it was actually very nice of you to invite the competition or well, the only successful magazine in DC.” The light blue-grey eyes of the taller woman were twinkling with mischief.

“We’ll see about that.” Lexa smirked confident.

“Charmaine Diyoza, finally good to meet you!” Josephine appeared in the middle of the encounter. “I was hoping to get to know the editor of our rival magazine.”

“You invited her?” Lexa perked her brow.

“Yes, I wanted to meet the famous Diyoza. After all, as editor of Polis, it is my duty to meet my fellow peers.” Josephine offered a warm smile. “I’ll steal her for a second, Lexa. Go relax before our speech.” Josephine winked and took Diyoza away to Lexa’s relief. She couldn’t stand Diyoza and her sarcastic personality.

Lexa let out a slow breath and began to look for her wife.

____________

Clarke at least knew some of the guests that she had seen in other art exhibits around town, and decided to network her way around. In the end, Lexa was extremely busy. She observed how Gaia dragged her wife away to meet more investors. Clarke huffed and took another flute of champagne to keep herself busy as the clock ticked and the night moved closer the launch of the new magazine.

The hall was packed with people dressed to the nines. Beverages moving around along trays with food and a live band entertained the guests.

Clarke found Costia in the middle of the hall and greeted her. Happy to see a familiar face. Raven was pretty busy, having some serious talk with her current date, Miles Shaw, her latest conquest.

“Hey Costia, glad to see you made it.”

“Of course! Bonus is we can meet more people in the biz and make new contacts for Eden. The party looks good and I love the new style of Polis.” Costia looked around to all the banners with the new logo and digital website address.

“Yeah, my wife has been awol since this madness started but I think she’s making a good impression.” Clarke commented.

“I’ll go get Anya from the bar, that woman has been stuck there since we stepped foot in here. She isn’t a fan of these events as you see.” Costia smiled thinking of the grumpy face of the dirty blonde.

“I’ll go to Lexa’s table closer to the podium. Meet me there.” Clarke commented but kept looking at Costia before looking for her place.

Costia walked with allure, with her bare back purple dress and wonderful style. She observed how Anya, looking just as sharp in a red dress, offered one of those small smiles that were so similar to Lexa’s. How the taller woman leaned to kiss her cheek, wiping the little smudge of lipstick from her cheek and they chatted with laughter and such an ease. Clarke thought they were really an exemplary couple.

Shaking her head, to clear her thoughts, Clarke began moving towards her seat. She bumped shoulders with some other people as she walked across the crowded hall, offering her apologies as she moved around with the many guests walking and chatting. Clarke kept smiling and nodding to whoever greeted her as she passed hoping to reach her table without stepping on anyone’s toes with her heels.

She reached the reserved table with Lexa’s name on it, but before she managed to sit she found another woman looking very comfortable in it.

Clarke hesitated double checking if she was at the right place, when the woman looked at her.

“Ah! You must be Clarke.” The brown eyes examined her slowly. “Not bad at all.” The stranger said checking her out. “Nice meeting you Mrs. Griffin-Woods.”

Clarke tilted her head, frowning. “And you are?”

“Josephine Lightbourne.” She stood up to greet Clarke.

“Ah, my wife’s new business partner. It’s good to put a face to the name.” Clarke extended her hand. The shorter woman smiled, shaking it with the same firmness Clarke offered.

“How does it feel to be the lucky woman to have Alexandria as spouse?” Josephine asked returning to her chair, leaning closer towards Clarke who took the nearby chair.

“For starters, I married Lexa Woods, not this persona she has created. We feel very blessed to have each other in our lives.” Clarke explained thinking that this Josephine was probably a fan of Lexa’s work. It happened all the time.

Before Clarke could say anything else Lexa finally arrived.

“Clarke! Gosh I’m so sorry I left you alone. It’s been so crazy.” She kissed the top of Clarke’s golden curls and sat next to her wife. “Josephine, I see you met my wife! Clarke is an incredible artist and the art pieces you’ve seen in my office are all from her.” Lexa beamed.

“Is that right? Very nice! I also love art very much. I have done some self-portraits and a bit of nature paintings.” Josephine offered.

“Really? That’s great! Maybe you two can bond over your art. Clarke just released her latest exhibit at the gallery she runs with Costia Greene in August, maybe you could check it out since it will be there until mid-October, but you must hurry, almost all her work has been sold already.” Lexa added enthusiastically.

Clarke cleared her throat, trying to tone down Lexa’s enthusiasm.

“Josephine seems like a very busy woman, Lex. I think-”

“I’d love to.” Josephine added with a big, too interested smile. “I want to get to know the woman who is married to my business partner. Get close and be friends.”

Clarke offered an awkward smile, not feeling this bonding with the other blonde. “Ahm, uh, sure. I guess.”

“Excuse me,” Gaia cut in. “Time to introduce the new Polis, ladies”

“I’ll be back in a second.” Lexa leaned in to peck Clarke. “After the speech, I owe you a dance.”

“Good luck, baby.” Clarke kissed firmly Lexa once more and let her go with Josephine to the main stage.

“Woah, just in time for the speech. All the best, Lexa!” Anya punched Lexa’s shoulder softly as she and Costia took their seats next to Clarke.

“Sorry for being late, we got distracted talking and on the way I met other people. I exchanged some business cards and hope we get some clients stepping in Eden soon.”

“Crossing my fingers.” Clarke said.

“Good evening everyone. I’m Josephine Lightbourne and I’m the new editor-in-chief of Polis Magazine. Tonight we begin a new era. I want to introduce you to the new **Polis Magazine** and it’s digital version **Polis Prime**, along with my associate Alexandria Woods.”

The audience clapped and cheered with enthusiasm. Clarke, Anya and Costia were the loudest though.

“Our incredible team has been hard at work over the past few weeks and I want you to see the realization of our vision. Polis is not just fashion, or art. It’s different cultures, varied flavors and vivid music. **Polis Prime** will reach so many readers around the world and your product could be showcased in our site. Join us and be part of the evolution of our product today!”

Clarke and friends applauded as the lights dimmed around to present the video. Music began and the footage showed a magazine that looked more vibrant, a more edgy font that read in bold letters **POLIS. **The website _www.polisprime.com _showcased the content in sections depending what the reader was looking for and of course, lastly the most sought out section by fans titled _Alexandria Between The Sheets_.

At the end the audience gave a standing ovation and Clarke was so happy for Lexa. Hoping that this was the beginning of better days for the magazine and also hoping she would see some weight lift off of Lexa’s shoulders.

“This is just a small part of what we have planned for all of you.” Lexa said. “With your sponsorship we will reach more places and readers in no time. I hope together we can make this a success. Thank you for your support and enjoy the evening!”

Lexa walked down from the podium and Clarke stood up to greet her wife, Lexa leaned into Clarke and the blonde hugged her tightly before kissing her softly.

“I’m so happy, Lexa. That looked amazing.”

“Glad you like it. Now I think I owe you a dance, Mrs. Griffin-Woods?” Lexa offered her hand and Clarke giggled accepting Lexa’s offer and together they moved to the dance area.

It was a wonderful night that they both would remember.

-oo-

“God, Lexa! Right there!” Clarke buried her head in the pillows as Lexa thrusted deeply, faster, her hands on Clarke’s hips in an iron grip as her hips kept moving back and forth. The strap firmly lodged inside Clarke.

“Fuck! Almost, babe… just… ugh yes!”

Lexa pushed with vigor, leaning over Clarke’s sweaty spine and trailing kisses on her neck and shoulder whispering sweet nothings while she fucked her wife raw. One hand sliding under Clarke’s belly and moving all the way down to the swollen pearl between Clarke’s legs and rubbing it hard with her fingertips, “Cum, my love.” Lexa encouraged until Clarke became taut, the universe exploding behind her eyelids and Clarke shouted Lexa’s name as she let her weight drop to the bed.

“Oh shiiiiit, aaaaah fuuuuuuck!!!” Clarke groaned as Lexa slowed down her pace until she fully stopped. Breathing heavily, she fell on Clarke’s back, gathering her breath.

“You okay?” Lexa asked out of breath.

“I’m dead, but very satisfied, lover.” Clarke grinned.

Lexa rolled off to the side after carefully pulling the strap out of Clarke before removing the harness, leaving the well-used dildo on the nightstand for cleaning later. “Glad to be of service.” Lexa smirked, leaving a kiss into the nape of Clarke’s neck.

“This is the kind of dance I like the most.” Clarke joked, rolling around to meet Lexa and closing her eyes for a minute. “I just need one more minute before you ride my face, babe. You were on fire tonight.”

Lexa lifted her head from the fluffy pillow, “Just tonight?”

Clarke opened her blue eyes and began peppering Lexa’s jawline and neckline with soft kisses. You’re,” kiss, “getting,” kiss, “too,” kiss, “cocky in bed.”

Lexa shrugged, “Just making sure I’ve still got it. Considering the few tricks we’ve learned in the past 12 years of marriage, I have to make sure I’m still up to the task.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and leaned closer, “You are, dummy. Now kiss me.”

They kissed slowly, enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking. Clarke moved away from plump, rosy lips to kiss sweaty collarbones. Her hands searching for the curves of Lexa’s hips, dragging her blunt nails into the soft skin. She felt Lexa exhale slowly and how she was barely responding to the kiss, as in automatic. Soon Clarke sensed the shift when Lexa disconnected her mind.

“Oh no, don’t you dare, Lexa!”

After a bit Lexa blinked. “What?”

“You’re thinking. And when you start that deep thinking you drift far away, so no. You’re going to stop whatever the hell you’re thinking and ride my face now!”

Lexa moved away and sat. “Just… okay, let me ask you a couple of questions.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, face-palming.

“I’ll be quick, I promise.” Lexa crossed her heart. “So um, have you ever faked an orgasm?”

Clarke sat immediately. “WHAT?” You kidding? This is what you’re thinking right now?”

“I was suddenly wondering. Like, how many women out there haven’t reached a proper climax. That’s something that could be of interest in my online column.” Lexa was serious and Clarke knew this idea was not something that was going to stop until Lexa wrote about it.

“No, Lexa. Can you please stop this and get back to our sexy times?” Clarke was getting exasperated. 

“But if you did? Would you tell me?”

“Yes, Lexa. We talk about what we like and dislike, what to try and so on. It’s natural to discuss if something doesn’t feel good with your partner.”

Lexa nodded deep in thought. “But at some point in your sex life you weren’t let’s say, fulfilled?”

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut for a hot second. “Maybe my lack of experience when I was younger might have left me unsatisfied on occasions, sometimes I was just looking for some physical connection, whatever… I don’t think we should be talking about our past sex life, Lex. You’re more than aware how that went.”

“Riiight. Yeah, my bad.” Lexa bit her lower plump lip again in thought and Clarke wanted nothing but to kiss her senseless. However, Lexa stood up naked as the day she was born from bed, her beautiful back tattoo on display along the tiny fresh scratch marks she left as evidence of their lovemaking and quickly grabbed a robe from the hanger behind their door.

“Lexa, where the fuck are you going?”

“Just going to write some brief ideas really fast before I forget them and I’ll be right back, Clarke.” Lexa moved out of their bedroom and Clarke flopped back in their bed.

By the time Lexa returned, Clarke was already deeply asleep.

-oo-

Raven burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny, Rae. Lexa is now magazine this, column that, oh wait, Josephine thinks this is great blah blah, for the past month. It is _really _annoying that her work has found its way into our bed!” Clarke raised her fists frustrated.

“Well, it’s totally understandable when Lexa dearest has a new business to take care of. But once she gets the gist of it she won’t cuntblock herself anymore.” Raven offered as she grabbed a chip from the bowl they had in Clarke’s work table in her workshop.

Both were at Eden taking some time to chat and eating their favorite nachos and cheese combo. A tradition they had since their high school days.

“Ugh, I hope so.” Clarke pushed her plate away not hungry.

“It’s going to be alright, Clarke. By the way, did you bring me the receipt for your car new valve? That thing is useless, gotta change it for another one.”

Clarke furrowed her brow. “Yup, I think I left it in my office, let me check.”

Clarke moved out of her workshop and entered her office, opening the desk drawers without any luck.

“Shit!” Clarke moved out and peeked in the studio while Raven munched more nachos with cheese. “I’ll go to my car and see if I left them in the glove compartment.”

“Ah don’t sweat it. Just bring it to the shop when you can. I need to really go now.” Raven lifted herself up fixing her brace.

“Got a date with Shaw again? Things seem to be getting serious.”

“Zeke? Nah, I called it quits last night. I have some cars to program with my new update of ALIE since I changed the code.”

“Really? Here I thought this guy was legit.”

Raven shrugged. “You know how this is.” Raven hugged Clarke. “You take care, Clarke.”

Clarke checked the watch on her wrist. Her father’s watch still with her to this day. The artist had some free time still, so she decided to go back to her car because she could have sworn she brought that receipt.

Clarke headed to the parking lot nearby while in her mind she was thinking on her upcoming exhibit. She had to have something to show McCreary before the end of September to know if it was viable to put it in the Eligius gallery exhibition.

As she approached her car, she noticed the tiny shape of the young girl who was always around hidden near the garbage cans.

Clarke walked slowly trying to not frighten the girl.

“Hey, kid. It’s good to see you.” Clarke said lowering herself to be at the same height.

The girl’s ragged clothes made Clarke concerned for her health. Her dirty cheeks hid the rosyness behind.

“Last time you left really fast and I got worried.” Clarke offered a friendly smile. “Are you hungry? I uh, I have some food that I think you might like.” Clarke stood up and offered her hand. “You can follow me if you don’t want to take my hand. It’s cool.”

The girl stood there, Clarke had no idea if the girl was going to accept or run away. But after a few minutes the girl finally began to walk towards Clarke. Clarke took this as her cue to move back and let the kid follow her at her own pace.

“Niylah, can you hold all my calls please.” Clarke told her assistant and guided the young girl to her workshop.

As the girl was guided through Eden, Clarke noticed how her blue eyes lit up with wonder.

“You like it? I have a place with lots of materials to paint. If you like, you can paint after you eat something. Sound good?”

The girl nodded.

“Awesome!” Clarke grinned.

Clarke offered the young girl some nachos with cheese. Definitely not the most nutritious but the girl was eating with gusto.

Clarke smiled satisfied.

“Do you like it?”

The girl nodded as she kept eating the rest of her food.

“This is where I paint most of the time. When I’m inspired I have a studio at home where I can work as well but this is where most of my art is created. It’s a place where I feel safe and happy.” Clarke began commenting, filling the odd silence with conversation.

Clarke leaned on her hand watching the girl lick her lips and going for another bite. “I hope you feel comfortable enough to come and visit. I’d love to be your friend if you let me?”

The girl eyed Clarke, her blue eyes locked with Clarke’s and nodded.

“Good. So, can I know your name?”

The girl looked hesitant, but Clarke was not going to push her if the girl didn’t disclose it.

“It’s alright. Just know that I co-own this gallery with my friend Costia and you’re more than welcome to come and visit, okay?”

The young child kept eating and once she was done Clarke gave her some materials to paint.

The two used different colors and shapes. Clarke aiding the young brunette in making shapes and trying to make it fun and joyful.

After some time had passed the little brunette had finished and Clarke helped her wash her hands and clean her as best as she could.

“You can come back anytime, I promise.” Clarke grabbed the little canvas and left it near a window to let it dry.

Clarke offered her hand and this time the girl took it. Clarke guided her back to the exit.

“Thanks for joining me today. Remember you just need to come in if you want to do it again.”

The little girl nodded and began walking away but she turned around with a small smile and said, “I’m Madi.” She waved and ran away.

“Goodbye, Madi!”

Clarke shouted back. She hoped that she would see Madi again, she felt a special connection with the girl already and Clarke was more than ready to be there for this little, precious girl.

-oo-

By the time Clarke arrived home she was full of butterflies, the fact that Madi finally trusted her to remain by her side made her so happy.

She reached her place, opening the door skipping a bit, she was very excited to spend more time with this girl.

The first thing she noticed was Lexa in the kitchen, she furrowed her brows and checked the time.

“Babe? You’re early.” Clarke moved behind her wife and put her arms around her waist leaving a kiss on the nape of her neck.

“Hey, you. I felt bad about the other night and decided to prepare lasagna for tonight.”

“Yummy! I like this idea.”

“You can grab the wine, it’s in the fridge while I finish with the salad. Food should be ready by now.”

Clarke was beaming now. Dinner with her wife to end the night? She couldn’t ask for anything better. The blonde moved the bottle to the table and opened it, making a popping sound, before she poured it into the glasses.

Lexa came a moment later leaving the salad bowl and next, the lasagna.

“Here you go.” Lexa served the plates and sat next to Clarke. “I’m sorry about disappearing on you, Clarke. With the launch, things have been slightly chaotic, but I assure you this will pass.”

“I understand, Lexa. This is huge and I want nothing but for you to succeed.” Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand before she took her plate.

“I know, love. Still, I should be more present. Enough about me, how are you? How’s that new exhibit with that douche going?”

Clarke chuckled, “Yeah, McCreary is clearly too far up his own ass but I’m shuffling ideas right now, hope to develop something that might impress him.”

Lexa sipped her wine and nodded. “He better be or I’ll rip his head off.”

“Babe, remember the kid I told you about?”

Lexa perked tilted her head in thought. “The one who mugged you?”

“Yup, that’s the one. Her name is Madi. I managed to earn her trust! She spent the day with me at Eden and she’s such an amazing kid. I want to try to help her, Lex.”

“What about her parents?” Lexa asked.

“I don’t know, but I think she’s abandoned. She’s always around by herself. I’m going to ask Bell to check it out. I’m worried.”

“Clarke, you think it’s wise to involve yourself? What if it’s just a distraction to see what else she can take from Eden? Or maybe-”

“Seriously?” Clarke rolled her eyes. “Lexa, I know you don’t trust easily, but trust me on this one. This girl is not making any plans to rob me. She just needs good people around and a helping hand. I think we could even get her clothes and-”

_RING RING_

Lexa pulled her cellphone from her pants pocket. “It’s Josephine. One sec.” Lexa excused herself from the table.

Clarke sighed, already tired of the constant interruptions when she had alone time with Lexa.

“Hi, oh no worries I’m dining with my wife.” Lexa said. “What now? Are you serious? No, no I’ll get on it. It’s my job to make sure the site goes without a hitch. I’ll call my team asap. Yes, good night.”

Lexa returned with an apologetic expression.

“What now?” Clarke asked exasperated.

“The website crashed, it’s not holding up. I need to get back to the office and fix it. We’ll continue talking about Madi later, okay?” Lexa kissed Clarke’s top of her head and moved to grab her car keys and jacket. “I’ll finish my dinner later, leave it in the fridge please. I love you!” And with that Lexa disappeared out the door.

“Well, at least I get all of the wine for me now.” Clarke sighed taking a generous sip. “I might as well drink some more in the bathtub. I totally deserve it after my busy day. I hope that Josephine gets wrecked though, fucking ruining the mood.” Clarke finished her dinner by herself, thinking on what she could do for Madi.

Clarke knew that there was something really special happening with that girl and Clarke couldn’t to wait to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was edited by the awesome unaligned-valkyrie.tumblr.com
> 
> Hope everyone is safe and here is a little something to keep you at home!
> 
> Tana


	5. Chapter 5

The nights started to turn more chilly as autumn made its full appearance. As September ended and October was around the corner, things were clearly changing, particularly in the Griffin-Woods household.

It was a Sunday morning and Lexa blinked slowly, feeling the coldness of the morning already. She turned around and Clarke wasn’t in bed. Lexa sat up trembling a bit from the cold, she took a look around and noticed the restroom light was off, which meant Clarke was fully awake this early.

Lexa loved fall so much because it was time for her favorite seasonal beverages and flannel time. She stepped on the cold marble and made her way quickly to the bathroom to take a pee and get ready for her Sunday. Maybe even get some seasonal pastries that were starting to be made by the local bakery.

She had wanted to compromise and spend at least the weekends with her family and friends knowing that she had been very busy, however, when she found the kitchen empty Lexa began wondering if Clarke went ahead and went to the nearby bakery, she knows how much Clarke loves fresh bagels in the morning.

She was making her way back to her small office to find her reading glasses, when she heard a small groan of frustration. She stopped outside the door of Clarke’s studio and knocked softly.

“Clarke?” Lexa called.

There was no response, so she opened the door and was almost hit by a paper ball. Lexa took a second to look around at her wife’s surroundings. There were rolled up pieces of paper everywhere, clearly some ripped pages with unfinished sketches and a sea of white around her feet.

Clarke was mumbling something, but she was immersed in her world, her barefoot tapping on the tiles as she traced lines with her pencil in her sketchbook.

“Clarke.” Lexa called a bit louder to be heard but it seems Clarke was in her bubble and clearly not listening then Lexa noticed the airpods in Clarke’s ears.

Lexa approached the desk, moving behind Clarke and touched her shoulder, which caused Clarke to jump in surprise.

“Jesus Christ!” Clarke jumped, her pencil broke in her hand. Clarke removed her airpods, “Lexa geez, warn a girl!”

“Sorry. I tried, but you were distracted.”

Clarke turned around and realized her drawing was ruined. “Shit!”

“Crap, sorry about that. I thought we were having breakfast together?” Lexa took one of Clarke’s hands in hers, massaging with her thumb her soft hand.

“Oh, sorry. I can’t Lexa. I’m way behind schedule, still no clue what I should paint for Eligius as you can see. I just made myself a PB&J sandwich. Can you do me a favor and do the laundry today? I know it’s my turn but I’ll be here all day.”

“Of course, no problem. I'll see you later.” Lexa deflated and pulled away. Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek and made her way to the office.

Lexa grabbed her reading glasses and instead of making herself breakfast she called Anya.

“Hey An, I was wondering if you wanna get breakfast?” Lexa went looking for her coat. “Yeah, The Dropship works. I have to stop at the dry cleaners first I’ll see you in 20.”

-oo-

Lexa took a sip of her warm coffee, the extra caffeine was going to help her keep focused for the rest of the day and maybe sit down and try to write. It’s been a while since she last sent a draft to Ontari, her editor, for review.

“Doing laundry duties today? Where’s your wifey?” Anya asked, before she munched on her waffle.

“Clarke is busy painting. I was hoping we could spend time together but she can’t. I called you instead.” Lexa shrugged.

“Good to know I’m your backup.” Anya joked, “Seriously, It’s been insane how Polis has absorbed you, we barely see each other anymore. I miss you bestie.” Anya pointed out.

“I know, that’s why I told Josephine that I wouldn’t do anything work related on the weekends, but Clarke is fully concentrated in her exhibit which doesn’t leave much free time for either of us.” Lexa leaned her elbow on the table, resting her face looking through the window at the red and oranges leaves filling up the trees. “I don’t want to make Clarke feel her projects aren’t important. Every time I point out something she gets mad at me and we end up arguing.” Lexa took another generous sip to warm herself. She was feeling rather cold today.

“Clarke knows you support her. You’ve been her number one fan since her school days. I think that she’s under a lot of pressure to move herself out of your shadow.”

“I don’t get it, An. If I help her is bad and if I don’t it’s bad too.” Lexa sighed frustrated. “What I’m supposed to do?”

“Clarke has been getting few commissions, her art isn’t selling as much as she’d like but she’s trying to-”

“Wait, what?” Lexa put her cup back on the table, her brows furrowing. “What do you mean she isn’t selling? I thought the gallery was doing fine?”

“I thought you knew.” Anya reclined on her chair, surprised by Lexa’s reaction. “McCreary didn’t help at all when he bashed Clarke in last year’s exhibit. Costia has been doing her best but Clarke is still an unknown outside of town. Eden is doing okay-ish but Clarke’s art is not moving. The thing is she… uhm;” Anya licked her lips, thinking on a proper word to use. “She resents your name when it’s attached to hers. All Clarke wants is to make a name for herself, without your influence.”

Lexa looked at her hands, she felt like someone threw her a bucket of ice cold water. “She hates me?”

“What? No Lexa. That’s not what I said.”

“She resents me, you said it!” Lexa swallowed the knot in her throat.

“It’s not that she’s vexed by you. Clarke loves you, but I believe the persona of Alexandria has been something that Clarke is starting to see as a block on the road to reach her goals.”

“Why she didn’t tell me?”

“You’re very busy, Lexa. We get it, this is a huge thing for you. She probably didn’t want to burden you. Don’t take it personally.”

“So she confides in you now!?” Lexa clenched her jaw.

Anya chuckled, “Don’t get jelly on me again, Lex. I thought we already moved past that years ago.” Anya subconsciously touched her jaw right at the place Lexa punched her a long time ago.

“It’s not like that… I just wished we talked like we used to. Things will return to normal as soon as Polis gets back on its feet. I promise.”

“Don’t promise me anything, Lexa. It’s not my bed that is cold at night.”

“How can I show Clarke that I care without making her feel I’m stepping on her dreams?” Lexa grabbed her cup that had lost some of its hotness already.

“Try something spontaneous.” Anya offered a smile, trying to cheer her up her friend. “You tend to plan carefully. Maybe a little change might be good for you both.”

“Have I not been explicit enough with my love, is that what you’re telling me?”

“Just saying that you two feel kind of disconnected lately.” Anya commented. “All marriages go through some hardships. You’ll get through this, Lex. Just keep doing what you do best. Love Clarke, like only you can. I mean, after all the trouble you went to for that brat? You better do your best.”

Lexa nodded, giving a small smile to her friend. Maybe all Lexa had to do was try a bit more and things would be back to normal.

_____________

Clarke looked at her sketches for the hundredth time. Her feet tapping the ground of her workshop at Eden. It was already mid-October and her hands were empty.

Chewing her lip, trying to make sense of what she was trying to create. She had no clear idea of what exactly she wanted to portray or how to do it, her feelings were a mess and McCreary was asking to see some of her advances, but she had nothing to show yet. If she failed at this, she was never going to make it in the art circles. Eligius had to be a success for her, no matter if she had to work 24/7 to achieve her dreams.

A knock on the door interrupted her and as she raised her eyes she met her friend and mentor.

“Clarke, hey.” Costia came in with a couple of files in her hands. “I was checking our last month’s expenses. It wasn’t that great for us but we’re holding up. Once the holidays begin we can at least hope that we'll make more sales.”

“I hope. Things have been stale. I haven’t gotten a single commission in months and I’m stuck with the design for the upcoming exhibit.”

Costia walked towards Clarke’s drawing desk. “Let’s see. This looks kind of messy. You jump from one design to the next. I can’t picture your overall theme.”

“I know!” Clarke rubbed her face, trying to remove some of the tiredness she felt. “I’ve been working on ideas for weeks but nothing fits.”

“Because you’re trying to please, Clarke. Your art has never been one to follow orders. You create from your heart and you're clearly not listening to it.”

“What if it flops?” Clarke dropped her pencil on the desk and leaned in her chair. “What if I don’t make a good impression and then I truly lose my chance to be recognized as an artist?”

Costia chuckled shaking her head, her gorgeous curls bouncing as she did. “Clarke, you’re good already! You’re just lacking inspiration. It will come to you, just hold on to the things that make you feel that flutter in your belly and put them into your paper. I know you’re scared McCreary will rip you apart again, but that won’t erase your accomplishments and all the years you’ve prepared and improve your craft. Let him critique and show Eligius what you’re capable of, okay?”

Clarke nodded. “Thanks, Cos. I feel awful for not helping with the gallery and your art class exhibit.”

“No worries, Clarke. We’re partners for a reason. I got your back. Always. I chose you because I saw potential in you, Clarke. I’m proud to represent you and I know you’ll blow people’s mind in that show.”

“Thanks, Costia.... I just, I still wonder why me? After everything that happened, you still helped me. I’m sorry, for everything you know?”

Costia smiled, and it was that warm smile that eased Clarke fears. “If you mean when you and Lexa desecrated MY workshop once upon a time? That’s buried in the past.” Costia spoke with honesty. “Clarke, why are you so afraid? You’re in your thirties, many people have found success way later in life. You’re doing great but you have to stop letting those insecurities get to you. Alexandria has nothing to do with how far you’ve become. Your wife is not why you have this gallery. I know that her influence is huge, but what McCreary said it’s not true! Lexa has no power over the people that come to see your art or that ask for commissions. It’s your talent that has make you earn recognition.” Costia rested her hand over Clarke’s shoulder. “I know his critique was very harsh, and I know you want to prove your worth to him, but you’re doing it the wrong way. Listen to your heart, Clarke. I promise your muse will return if you listen closely.”

Clarke only nodded, thinking of her mentor words as Costia left her to her own devices.

Clarke left her materials back on her desk and decided to return to her office, maybe she needed some time off the workshop and just relax.

“Excuse me, Clarke?” Niylah met her halfway on the way to her office. “A client is looking for you. Waiting in the lobby.”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a sec.” Clarke announced. “Well, I hope to get something to sell.”

Clarke headed to the lobby and to her utter surprise she found no other than Lexa’s business partner.

“Clarke!” Josephine stood up from the chair where she was waiting to greet Clarke with a hug and kiss.

“Ah, Josephine? What a surprise. I ah, wasn’t expecting you. At all.”

Josephine laughed shaking her head. “Polis keeps me busy but I had to come and see your art. I’ve gotta say I already spotted some paintings I’d love to acquire.”

“Wait, did Lexa send you?” Clarke narrowed her eyes with suspicion.

“No, not at all. Like I said when we met, I’m highly interested in the arts. I can’t wait to show you my stuff, but mine is just a hobby. Yours is way more pro.”

“Right. Um, well since you’re here let me show you around.” Clarke invited Josephine to the gallery exhibits, and showed her several canvases, based on what the shorter blonde was looking for.

Clarke listened to Josephine non-stop talking about her trips to the Amazon, to New Zealand and Hawaii, about how she spoke several languages and was well-versed in botany. The woman was intelligent, Clarke had to admit that. She was beautiful, and so perky. She had no doubt that Josephine Lightbourne was what the press would qualify as the perfect woman.

“That’s um, very nice of you, Josephine.” Clarke said as she moved to the store front. “Niylah, please make sure to process Ms. Lightbourne’s order.”

“I’m so glad I came here. Eden is full of wonderful art. I have to congratulate you once more, Clarke.”

“No need. I appreciate your business.” She offered her hand and Josephine ignored it and went for a hug.

“I hope we can hang out some other time. I want to talk to you about so much more!” Josephine giggled.

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke answered flatly, a very tight polite smile on display. “I’ll leave you here with Niylah. You can arrange the delivery with her. Nice seeing you.”

Clarke made her escape, for some strange reason she was getting a weird vibe from Josephine. Maybe she was projecting her insecurities towards the beautiful blonde, who happened to work with her wife at late hours most weekdays, maybe she was being dumb. Lexa was loyal to the core, and she’d never… _Right?_

Clarke shook her head and tapped at her cheeks.

_You’re a dumbass, Lexa has never given you a reason to doubt her. Being jealous is ridiculous as fuck, you moron. What you need, Clarkey is to get your mind off work. The damn exhibit has you on edge._

As Clarke gave herself a pep talk, she rounded the corner to return to her office she noticed that Madi was inside the sculptures area of the gallery, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder when the little brunette slipped past Niylah.

“Hey, Madi. You like it?” Clarke joined her looking at the cubist sculpture.

“It’s weird.” The girl said. Her blue bright eyes filled with curiosity and that childish wonderment that Clarke was loving to see in the girl.

“I’m so happy to see you. I was thinking on taking time off from work. Maybe you’d like to join me for food and donuts?” Clarke wiggled her brows.

“Donuts?” Madi’s eyes were big and so full of want. Clarke’s heart was warmed.

“Yup,” She wiped some dirt smudge on Madi’s cheek. “I’m thinking about stopping first to get you a warmer sweater. Fall has been colder than usual.” She extended her hand.

Madi took it and Clarke squeezed it to show her comfort.

“Let’s go then!”

-oo-

Clarke was laughing, carrying a bag in one hand and holding Madi’s hand with the other. She took the girl to buy her some clothes and now they were on the way to the donut shop.

She found a table inside the establishment and ordered a coffee for herself and two chocolate donuts. Once she was seated, she gave a donut to Madi, who didn’t waste time and engulfed it, making Clarke smile.

Her ringtone started to blare, she pulled it out from her purse.

“Hey babe.” Clarke removed some crumbs from Madi’s mouth with a napkin. “I’m not at Eden. I needed time off.”

Madi licked her lips enjoying the chocolatey madness. Clarke giggled and put the phone in her shoulder to hold it.

“I appreciate your surprise Lex. Maybe if you have talked with Josephine we could have met, but I’m actually with Madi. Yeah, Josephine came by earlier and bought a good bunch of paintings. I left to spend some time with Madi. Maybe you can join us? We’re here at the mall, eating donuts.” Clarke sighed, “No, don’t worry. I understand you have a tight schedule. We’ll make it work another day.”

Madi finished her donut licking her lips with gusto.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then. Sure, yeah yeah, I’ll pick up your suit from the cleaner. Love you.” Clarke ended the call. “Well, my wife just went to Eden to take me to a surprise lunch. That means that Josephine truly came by her own accord. Oh well, I can anticipate that once you meet my wife you’ll like her too. Lexa is a woman of few words but she’s kind, caring and very protective of the ones she loves.”

Madi nodded.

“Ready?”

“Okay.”

Clarke and Madi returned to Eden, where after a while Clarke just let Madi paint while she sketched the little girl in her notepad. Sketching just because. Not because she had an obligation or work to do. She drew like she used to do.

_When I was thinking about Miss Woods._ Clarke thought for herself with a tiny, cheeky smile.

The curiosity of the little girl and how she looked at the world was something that made Clarke want to portray that innocence in her sketch pad. She traced lines softly, trying to capture the delight of the small girl in every stroke she made in her canvas.

Madi used colors at random, simply creating a prism of colors that made Clarke think of her own approach to art. She had been so concerned, as Costia said, about getting a good review that she was truly forgetting to follow her gut, just like Madi was doing.

As if struck by lightning, Clarke had an idea.

It has been so many years since she tried this technique, and suddenly Clarke could envision dripping colors, creating shapes and textures that otherwise wouldn’t have the same effect with acrylic or oils.

“You Madi, are amazing!” Clarke said, jumping from her chair and quickly heading to her storage room to gather materials to see what she needed to accomplish her idea.

Things seemed to finally fall into place and she was more than ready to prepare her new work.

_______________

Every day felt eternal to Lexa, being in the office so much made her feel that time was not moving. That she was stuck in a loop.

She was analyzing the latest data provided by their CFO, and hearing their CMO along with Gaia, to manage their last trimester finances, lead by their CEO, Josephine Lightbourne.

“I think we need to make something special for the holidays. Diyoza will continue with her usual content, but she lacks originality.” Josephine stated signaling the chart being projected at the meeting room.

“Special as in?” Lexa asked. “We’re still testing the waters with the website. I don’t think it’s wise to put more money into it when we haven’t seen if the sale tendency grows or just stales.”

“The numbers aren’t that bad,” Josephine said. “But we could do way better. So far the digital engagement is great. Alexandria was a hit, however we need to push those interactions if we want to keep the readers and subscribers engaged.”

Lexa flicked her tired eyes from the files, the watch on her wrist indicating it was past 8pm and she had agreed to make it to Clarke’s birthday party on time. It was important to be there tonight. Considering she had been extremely busy with Polis since they launched the magazine in the summer and she had been writing non-stop, exhaustion was killing her.

“I think that September’s print edition was a hit,” Gaia commented. “The Halloween theme for this month is a great idea and the focus in the different arts will keep our readers engaged at least during the last of the fall. Are you worried that our Holiday Edition won’t be a win? If you don’t mind me asking, Josephine.”

Josephine smiled, her brown eyes glinting with something akin to...

“Yes, the magazine is holding up well but we need to push our greatest asset. Alexandria is our biggest attraction, something that Damocles won’t ever have. Imagine the fans desperate to be with their idol? A Christmas with Alexandria - fans all around the country vying for a night with their dream girl. A romantic Christmas with the winner while they have to buy the print, get clues in the digital website and that could give us the numbers we need in the last trimester of the year to secure our sponsors. I believe that Alexandria is a resource that hasn’t been exploited to its full potential.”

Gaia raised her brows, not expecting that proposal. “I mean, sounds great and all but Lexa has been writing and answering a lot of fans since the new launch began. I think it is in our greatest advantage to cut her some slack. Right, Lexa?”

Lexa was barely listening, her head was pounding and she truly needed to sleep. “Josie, I ah, I took a break from my writing tours. I know the magazine could benefit but I promised I wouldn’t leave again.”

“And I understand that, Lexa; but Polis needs us to push harder. Everyone is making sacrifices to save the magazine and I believe the key is you. Imagine all the interviews, and the free promotion you’d give us? Talk with your agent. I think they’ll agree with me.”

“I’m trying to give what is left of me to my family. Clarke is-”

Josephine leaned towards Lexa, resting her hand on Lexa’s arm in a soothing motion. “Lexa, this could keep the magazine completely out of danger. Think of this as securing the future of our people and your family. You’d be giving them the best holidays in a while. Don’t they deserve better?”

Lexa nodded. “They do. Things have been so hard, I uh, I guess we could make it work but um, can we talk about this later. I need to go to celebrate with my wife. It’s her 33rd birthday.”

“Of course!” Josephine leaned back in her chair. “Send my congrats to Clarke! When the schedule clears a bit we should have a dinner to discuss this plan. It’s going to be fun! Clarke is such a catch, Lexa. I’d love to hear that love story of you two one day.”

“Sure. I think Clarke would love to spend some time away from her workshop. She’s been working really hard lately.” Lexa’s lips curved, Clarke was so passionate about her art it made Lexa happy to see her happy.

“I’ll say hi on your behalf, now excuse me. I really need to go. Good night!”

-oo-

Lexa arrived just on the nick of time. Raven had to stall a bit while driving Clarke to allow Lexa to make it to the restaurant where she was going to celebrate her spouse but here she was at last.

The Mexican food restaurant private room was decorated with balloons and a big banner congratulating Clarke. The table was filled with confetti and lots of colors, thanks to the help of Costia and Anya. Every year Clarke, Raven and Octavia via FaceTime ate Mexican for Clarke’s birthday, so of course this time Lexa wanted to include all her loved ones to make it more special this year.

Raven came in with Clarke minutes later. The blonde was clearly distracted, chatting with Raven when the sudden _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!_ from their friends resounded in the small private hall as they entered the room.

“Oh my God!” Clarke gasped looking at her surroundings, “I can’t believe this!”

“Happy Birthday, Clarke.” Lexa went to kiss and hug her wife before letting her greet the other guests. “Thanks Reyes, couldn’t make it without you.”

“Of course!” Raven smirked, “Clarke was easy to distract though, once she was engaged talking about Madi, she wouldn’t shut up.”

“You got me there.” Clarke smiled, giving a soft punch at Raven’s arm.

“Well, come on in!” Lexa guided Clarke and soon Costia and Anya were greeting Clarke next.

Lexa moved away to give space to her friends to congratulate Clarke. She needed to sit. Her head was pounding and this latest idea of Josephine was worsening her headache. She had no idea how to tell Clarke that she was going to be busy for the holidays and possibly not being home for the festivities.

Lexa knew that right now they needed to secure the sponsors and close the year with the best numbers they could. However, it was going to be at the expense of missing more time with her family and friends.

Lexa couldn’t remember the last time she had a day in peace with her wife.

Soon, the waiter began bringing the dishes to everybody and the chatter was amicable. Clarke’s friends were all here - Monty, Jasper, Echo and Bellamy. All her friends except from Octavia, who had a FaceTime video call with Clarke early in the morning due to the time difference and her rigorous training schedule.

“This is lovely, thanks a lot babe.” Clarke said leaning on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Anything for you.” Lexa kissed her forehead.

“So, when will you be able to come to Eden? I’d love for you to meet Madi. She’s been coming more frequently and she’s a lovely girl.”

“I don’t know, Clarke. Things have been intense lately and the few times I could visit during the week, you weren’t available.” Lexa took a sip of water. She couldn’t even dare to drink wine, her head was killing her.

“I’ve been working in my art, Lexa. It’s not that I wanted to cancel on you the last two times!”

“I didn’t say it was on purpose, Clarke. It’s just bad timing I guess.” Lexa stated, she squeezed Clarke’s hand and focused in her dinner instead.

She dropped the conversation, she didn't want to put a stain into a day to celebrate. Clarke’s friends managed to keep her wife entertained at least and Lexa has been let off the hook for the moment. Soon, the beers and tequila shots were delivered and Lexa focused her thoughts in what she had to do, drinking her problems away.

After they sang happy birthday and split the cake they returned home. Everyone was tired but so happy to have spent some time together. Everyone was busy with their own responsibilities, yet moments like this were highly cherished by them.

The couple arrived in silence, not much conversation between them. Clarke removed her heels leaving them in the living room before she went to the kitchen to drink some water. Lexa began to loosen her tie as she trailed her way to the master bedroom.

“Really?” Clarke asked looking at the sink filled with dishes.

“I’ll wash them tomorrow,” Lexa moved inside her room not bothering to hear a sermon, she removed the rest of her clothes and put them in the hamper. Next, Lexa showered and walked to her closet to change into her sleeping clothes once she was done.

Clarke was in front of the dresser, removing her makeup and taking off her gold earrings.

Lexa opened her closet when she noticed her grey suit wasn’t in place. “Clarke, where’s my suit?”

“What suit?” Clarke looked at the mirror to see Lexa in the reflection.

“The grey one? Remember I asked you to go to the dry cleaning to pick it up?”

“Ah, fuck. I totally forgot. Madi was with me and it slipped my mind. I’ll get it tomorrow.”

Lexa’s headache increased, she shut her eyes for a second. “Great! I ask one favor but you can’t even do that!?” Lexa snapped. “I have a meeting with some potential investors for the distribution of the magazine in Europe, Clarke. Goddammit!”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, looking at the mirror to be able to see Lexa.

“I forgot! Lexa, you have other suits. No big deal.”

“Because my things don’t matter. Sure, no big deal Clarke. Thanks!” Lexa went to bed right away, she removed her wedding band putting it back inside her night stand and shut the lights of the lamp on her side of the bed.

Clarke came 5 minutes later. Sitting on her side and turning her lamp on.

“It was an honest mistake, Lexa.”

“Forget it. I’ll wear something else.” Lexa turned over her putting her back to Clarke.

“Lex…”

Lexa shut her eyes.

Suddenly she felt the warmth of Clarke’s body behind. A kiss on the nape of her neck and then on her jawline.

“Babe?”

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked groggily.

“I don’t wanna fight on my birthday. I was thinking maybe we could end the night differently. Don’t you think?”

Lexa held her breath, she couldn’t move a muscle. She was not in the mood. Actually, she hasn’t been in any mood lately. Lexa swallowed at the realization.

“You didn’t like the bracelet?” Lexa asked hoping to change the topic. “I can send Raven to the jeweler and ask her to go change it.”

“Baby, anything you give me is always loved and appreciated.” Clarke pressed herself closer, making her intentions very clear when Lexa felt the peaks of Clarke’s breasts pressed against her back.

“I was thinking something more intimate...” Clarke’s hand sneaked under her shirt, tracing soft patterns over her abdomen and moving into the waistband of her sleeping pants.

“Ahm...” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s wrist stopping her from reaching further. “I uh, I’m tired. Can we do it another day?”

“Oh.” Clarke’s voice made her heart break. Clear disappointment in her soft tone. “Sure. It’s been a long day. Thanks for the party and I’ll pick up your suit tomorrow. Sorry I forgot.” Clarke kissed her shoulder before moving to her side of the bed.

“Sorry about raising my voice. I could have asked Maya knowing you’re also busy.”

Lexa felt truly bad. She didn’t want Clarke’s birthday to end in this sour note, nonetheless, her mind and body were utterly exhausted, sex was far from what she wanted right now. “I’ll wake you up for morning sex, if that’s okay with you?” Lexa offered in a conciliatory tone.

“Don’t worry about it.” Clarke replied already pulling the blanket covering her body. “Work has been hard.”

Lexa chewed her lower lip. “Yeah...”

“Good night, Lexa.”

“Night, Clarke.”

The next morning with the biggest regret, Lexa had to leave her wife in their bed. Lexa longed for the days she used to be entangled with Clarke, but that was not possible at the moment. She took a last glance at her sleeping wife, who hugged the pillow to her chest to keep the warmth that was eluding her. She adjusted the black skirt she’d decided to wear for today’s meeting with Josephine and the potential international distributors. There was another meeting to discuss the website’s Halloween special, which had to be checked before updating the website. That needed her attention urgently and of course, the Holiday print discussion and how Alexandria fit into all of this.

Lexa wanted to kiss Clarke but didn't want to risk waking her up after her birthday party last night and much less after their dumb fight.

Lexa left quietly the room and shut the door.

  
  


Clarke opened her eyes, and let out the breath she was holding. She extended her hand to Lexa’s side and felt the remnants of her body heat on the bed.

Was this the new normal? Few words spoken between spouses, barely any affectionate touch between them. Clarke was lost regarding Lexa’s thoughts. It had been awhile since she felt like this. Not knowing how to act or what to say to the brunette.

It’s like suddenly she was in a house of cards, and slowly the pieces were crumbling.

What is going to be left after its destruction? Their love?

Clarke wasn’t so sure anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Today I'm celebrating another year around the Sun, and to celebrate such accomplishment in health and happiness, I am giving y'all an update. You get and update, YOU get an update, EVERYONE GETS AN UPDATE!!!
> 
> Hope to find you in safety, my wonderful readers. Thanks for always leaving a comment and letting me know you're liking the story. Maybe.
> 
> Cheers and until next update!
> 
> Tana xx
> 
> Beta by the awesome unaligned-valkyrie.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

Lexa stopped typing and leaned on her chair, re-reading the last paragraph she was writing for her column’s Holiday special next month. With Halloween behind them and the success of their latest print, her goal was now to close out the year with the best numbers they could to cement the return to Polis to normalcy and stability.

Of course, to achieve what they had done so far meant missing the Halloween Party her wife did with their friends, even the girl Madi, whom her wife took under her wing attended and she still had to meet the kid. Lexa felt a sting in her soul, but she couldn’t help it. She was working just as hard to keep all these jobs for her people.

So far, since the launch of the new image of Polis, sales were steady, the traffic on their website was actually pretty good and the new sponsors ads were enough to keep the magazine afloat. The next step was to have the magazine reach new markets around the world, the reason why Lexa had been prisoner of her job by having meetings with Josephine and their sales management to see what was doable and what not. Things were looking bright, but they needed to capitalize on their success, to guarantee a worldwide distribution, and that was Alexandria.

Lexa sighed, removing her reading glasses and squeezing her eyes shut for a minute. Writing on the website was taking a toll since it demanded more online activity from Alexandria to keep the readers coming for new content every week, and the blog discussions were always encouraged, so there was more reason for her to pop in here and there and make the fans happy. Plus, her monthly column which was very sought after by her most veteran readers.

“_I prefer a good sapphic holiday novel over a stale, bland, Hallmark Christmas movie. Sometimes one can get tired of too much heteronormativity. Try to picture this: Reading nearby the fireplace as snow slowly falls outside your home, your lover holding your hand and drinking cocoa. It is an experience that if not too intimate, offers that warmth that is the holiday season. I think you’d enjoy it. Maybe we could even cuddle on the couch like old times?_

_Thanks again for your kind messages, without your support I wouldn’t be here. Make sure to check the website because I have a surprise for you in the upcoming days. I wish this has been to your liking, for now, I’ll see you between the sheets.”_

“Feels too fake.” Lexa said to herself, and grabbed the text she had been reading. “This is more like it.

‘I speak not, I trace not, I breathe not thy name;

There is no grief in the sound, there is guilt in the fame;

But the tear that now burn on my cheek may impart

The deep thoughts that dwell in that silence of heart…’

Yeah, I feel this too Lord Byron.” Lexa let out a long exhale, tossing the poetry book to the side of her desk.

She looked at her cellphone screen, it was without the text notification that mattered to her.

_Clarke,_ Lexa thought.

Her wife had been working really hard these past few weeks on preparing her new exhibit and painting usually took a ton of time. When Clarke was in her creative bubble it was impossible to reach her.

“Whatever, this should work anyway for Josephine’s plan.” Lexa saved the file of what she wrote for her blog and went to the kitchen to grab her lunch.

Lexa pulled her lunch from the fridge, she had been sleepy last night, therefore cooked the easiest thing she had in the fridge: frozen veggies with a chicken breast. She looked, without enthusiasm, at her tupperware and put the container inside the microwave.

“Hey you!” Ryder came into the small break room in the 12th floor of Polis Magazine HQ. “You look tired as hell, Lexa.”

After the _blip blip blip_ from the microwave, Lexa took her chicken and brought it to the table, sitting down. “Yeah?” Lexa shrugged. “You know how it is.”

Ryder shook his head and took the chair in front of Lexa with a warm cup of coffee. “No, this is not how it is Lexa. You barely leave the office lately. Or you arrive too early and leave too late. Last month at Clarke’s birthday party you were so absent. We talked to you and you barely made any conversation or interacted with anyone.”

“The surprise party was a success, that’s what mattered. Clarke was happy!” Lexa took a big chunk of her veggies and chewed slowly. The writer licked her lips to remove the traces of dressing and eyed her friend. “You’re keeping tabs on me now, Ryder?”

“No, but I’m worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry, my friend. Things are running smoothly. Polis is stable and I believe Josephine has brought new, fresh ideas to the table.”

“That’s not what concerns me. You have these dark circles under your eyes, you look sick. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Things are running smoothly, right? Go home to your family and take a well-deserved break.”

Lexa munched her chicken, not at all excited by the lack of seasoning. “Sounds tempting.”

“Lexa, come on! The web articles are ready to go, our people are going to cover new events and the sponsors are happy. You got this covered.”

“Hmmm… I guess. Sure, why not. I’ll leave in a bit. Maybe Clarke would like to get dinner tonight. Our schedules have been overlapping thus we arrive at different times lately.”

Ryder smiled happy. “There you go! Don’t push yourself too hard. Otherwise, you’re going to end up with a full mop of ashen hair like me.” Ryder winked, standing up and waved goodbye to his friend.

It wasn’t a bad idea. After all, Ryder wasn’t wrong. She felt exhausted but she wanted to spend time with Clarke. After she finished her meal she was going to call Clarke to ask if she wanted to go out tonight.

_____________

Music blasted from the bluetooth speaker Clarke had on her workshop at Eden. Music was always a source of motivation to keep working on her art. Obedear by Purity Ring currently playing. 

♪ I came down over the sleeping mountains

Where our wide toes plunged into the weeping shale to

Tear our skin up from the bottom

Leaves our ankles bare

Don’t just wander back and forth and leave it 🎵

Close by was the little brunette girl that Clarke had taken under her wing.

Madi had also taken a liking to Clarke, considering the little girl came by most days to spend time with Clarke.

Clarke hummed to the song as she added more white traces to her canvas. McCreary had been clear on what kind of art could be more attractive for the incoming art critics, which made Clarke create a new set of designs that could put her name at the top of the art world. She had been working her ass off day and night on the new canvases and hoped using watercolor this time could be a real change from her usual technique.

Her colors were lighter, and she smiled as the world she was creating through the eyes of Madi started to take shape.

“Excuse me, Clarke?” Niylah called interrupting Clarke’s work. Clarke stopped the music to listen.

“What’s up?”

“Detective Blake is here.”

“Oh! Send him to my office. Thanks.” Clarke replied before Niylah returned to the front desk.

“Hey Madi, I’ll have to take care of something but I won’t take long.” Clarke told the young girl before moving to her office.

Clarke wiped her hands with a humid towel and entered her office, she sat on her comfortable swiveling chair and waited for her friend.

“Griffin. Things have been a bit busy at the precinct but I finally followed up on what you requested.”

“And?” Clarke perked her brow. Anxious to find answers about Madi.

“Clarke, what on earth are you getting into?” Bellamy asked with his serious batman voice.

Clarke rolled her eyes, Bellamy tried to be scary but he was too much of a sweet guy to make her feel the least bit intimidated. Lexa on the other hand? As soon as she used her commander voice, panties, in this case Clarke’s, dropped.

“Nothing serious, Bell. Now tell me.”

“Shadow Valley is under the control of some gang, ‘The Children of Gabriel’. The girl is lucky she found you because things aren’t good in there.”

“The Children of Gabriel? Really? That sounds like a rap group.”

Bellamy scoffed. “Can you be serious Clarke? I don’t want you to get into another mess like you did with Mount Weather and much less your spouse acting like a superhero without the police support.”

“This is different, Bell. I swear. All I want is for Madi to be safe.”

“Alright.” Bellamy paused and took a deep breath. “I believe we found the mother of the child. I’m waiting on the exams but we traced her back to that woman and uh...” Bellamy made a pause. “The woman was found dead, Clarke. She had been dead for some time actually. The girl must be taken into custody by the state and-”

“Oh hell no! I’m not going to let this girl go into the foster care system. Much less to hand her to some shitty father! She has been on her own for months! She’s not going back to that fucking place!!!” Clarke cried clearly concerned for the future of Madi.

Bellamy shrugged. “Social services will take the case. They will do the best they can for the girl, I assure you. Look, the cause of death is alleged overdose but we’re still waiting on the autopsy results.”

“Fuck that! I’ll take her in. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect this child. I want temporary custody of her while you do your thing. If she has a family member that is legit and wants to take her I’m all in, but you have to promise you’ll research it before I give her back to some thug.”

Sighing, Bellamy scrubbed his hairy face. “Okay, let me get you in contact with the SS Office so your lawyers can do the paperwork and all the mumbo jumbo to keep temporary custody of the kid. Just be careful. We have no idea about the father but if he’s alive he must be in serious shit. Shadow Valley is a mess to be honest. After the Mount Weather gang disappeared other small groups took control and Shadow Valley fell into dangerous hands.”

“Don’t worry, Bell. Thanks for doing this and I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” Clarke was relieved that Madi was at least far away from that awful place. Now all she had to do was to get in touch with good lawyers to guarantee that she could have Madi under her care. And of course, inform Lexa. IF, she was home that is.

Clarke made her way back to the workshop and noticed Madi’s colorful reindeer art. Clarke’s heart warmed at the smile on the little girl.

“That looks pretty awesome, Madi. I bet we can add it to the Eden’s Holiday Exhibit next week. You’re going to have a blast with other kids. What do you say?”

“Yay!” Madi jumped in excitement.

Look...” Clarke approached and kneeled to be at eye level with the young girl. “I spoke with my friend Bellamy about your case. He has been digging for information and I know you’re on your own. I told him I want to take care of you, Madi. But to keep you safe, you’d have to stay with me. I’d take care of all your needs while I deal with the legal stuff. Would you like that?”

Madi’s big blue eyes got bigger. “You want me to be with you?”

“Yes, I do. I want you to have a safe place to live and go to school and make more friends while your case is reviewed by the government.”

“I want to be with you, Clarke!” Madi ran towards Clarke, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you, Madi. This makes me very happy!” Clarke said pulling the kid against her chest, wrapping her arms around Madi as much as she could.

_______________

Lexa closed her laptop and packed her things into her leather messenger bag. She bid farewell to Maya after informing Josephine that she was going to take the rest of the day off. Promising that she’d catch up with the blog inquiries later. In return, Josephine invited Lexa and Clarke for a family dinner the next day.

Lexa called Clarke but for some reason she didn’t pick up her phone nor did she answer her texts. Instead, she called Eden and hoped Niylah was still there seeing it was closing time.

However, she wasn’t lucky. She supposed Clarke was in her painting bubble which meant she wasn’t going to give her any response at all. That’s how it was when Clarke was deep in an exhibit. The rest of the world didn’t exist while Clarke created her art.

Still, Lexa headed to her car to drive to Eden and hopefully find Clarke still in the workshop. Clarke had been painting, putting all her energy into this new exhibition, believing that Paxton McCreary, who was far from being trusted by Lexa, helped Clarke with a more positive review of her work.

The drive to the gallery didn’t take longer than 40 minutes, luckily. Lexa parked and headed to the gallery.

Lexa was surprised to find indeed everything was closed. Considering Clarke had been painting for weeks in the workshop they had barely seen each other; this was not what she expected.

Lexa texted Costia wondering about Clarke’s whereabouts and the reply came instantly.

**Costia: **Clarke told me she was going straight home today. You need anything from Eden?

**LexaGW: **No, I just wanted to surprise Clarke. No worries. Thanks, Cos.

Lexa adjusted her coat to shield herself from the cold November breeze and made her way back to her car, deciding to stop by and buy Chinese food for dinner.

Maybe they could have a dinner together in peace.

-oo-

Lexa juggled with her keys and opened the door to her home. She held the door open with her foot while she carried the chinese takeout. Dropping the keys in the bowl at the entrance, she shut the door and headed to the kitchen counter.

“Honey?” Lexa called, leaving the boxes of food on the kitchen counter. “Babe, I’m early. Bought dinner!” Lexa tried again but there was no response.

Tilting her head, Lexa checked her phone for any missed calls but there were none.

“Babe?” Lexa removed her blazer as she walked up the stairs to the master bedroom wondering if Clarke was asleep after working so much.

Lexa opened the door and dropped the jacket, and next her black blazer into the perch in the corner of her bedroom and seeing the bed was empty she turned on the lights.

“Clarke?” Lexa called once more getting worried there were no signs of her wife.

She looked around seeing that Clarke’s purse was at least on the night table.

“Where are you?” Lexa wondered, when she heard the faint sounds coming from the bathroom.

“Clarke?” Lexa began walking slowly, her heart pounding at the reason why there were voices coming from her restroom. Could it be robbers? Maybe a stalker that got ahold of her wife?

The door was ajar and she pushed it to peek inside. She noticed that Clarke had her back towards the door and was kneeled in front of the bathtub, but she couldn’t see anyone else.

“Ahm? Clarke, what are you-?”

“Jesus Christ!” Clarke jumped, grabbing her chest clearly surprised by Lexa. “You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?”

“I live here?” Lexa smiled trying to ease the worries of the blonde. Lexa approached Clarke and greeted her with a soft peck.

Clarke chuckled, shaking her head. “I mean this early? You never arrive before 10pm.”

“I decided to take the night off. I wanted to ask you out to dinner but Eden was closed and you never answered my calls and texts. I assumed you were immersed in your work.” Lexa finally realized they weren’t alone though. There was a tiny naked child playing with a variety of toys Lexa had never seen, surrounded by a thick foam of bubbles.

“Why there’s a kid in our bathtub?” Lexa frowned.

“Oh!” Clarke smiled. No, she was beaming. It had been a while since Lexa saw that full blown smile. “I uh, we need to talk Lexa. Let me finish here and then we can talk. It’s been a busy day for me, babe.”

“Oh, sure. I’ll set the dinner then. Take your time.” Lexa glanced once more at the little brunette eyeing her suspiciously and she left them alone.

Lexa changed clothes into comfortable ones, a simple t-shirt along sweatpants and returned barefoot to the kitchen area to prepare the table while Clarke took care of the child. Lexa had been completely caught off guard. What was Clarke doing with a strange kid? Could that be the girl Clarke told her about?

Clarke came several minutes later and the strange little brunette followed behind. Clarke said something to the girl who nodded and walked towards the living room. Lexa noticed the blue bright vivid eyes of the little brunette examining her once more before she left. The pink cheeks of the girl contrasted with her pale skin, but she looked healthy.

“That’s Madi.” Clarke said, moving to the table, pulled a chair and sat.

“Are you babysitting her? It’s that what you’ve been doing with her?” Lexa asked, taking her own sit at the table. She grabbed a box with chow mein and put some in her plate with chopsticks.

“Not really. It’s um, how do I explain?” Clarke licked her lips, she seemed slightly insecure. “Madi will be under my care. Remember I told you I wanted to help her?”

Lexa nodded, “Yes?”

“I asked Bellamy to check on her situation due to her being alone all the time and um, she’s an orphan. At least that’s what we believe since there is no dad at the moment, mom is dead. She’s from Shadow Valley and you know how dangerous that place has gotten. Madi will stay with us while Social Services reviews her case.”

“Woah, slow down a bit. She’s gonna live with us?” Lexa dropped the chopsticks before she even took a bite.

“Yup, I can’t let this child be on her own anymore, Lexa. I can’t let social services send her to a strange place when she trusts me.”

“Clarke, we’re barely home as it is. Work right now is very heavy, how do you plan to take care of a kid when you’re painting 24/7?” Lexa didn’t intend to sound accusative but clearly that’s how it came out by Clarke’s widening of her eyes.

“Really, Lexa? It’s me that is never available? I’ve been watching Madi for weeks since she visits Eden on a daily basis. Look, I’m not asking _you_ to do anything. I’ll take care of her on my own! I was informing you of what I’ll do.”

“I never said I wouldn’t help but I’m your wife. We’re a team. You made this decision without even consulting me! This is not something I expected, that’s all.” Lexa tried to reason. “We both have very busy lives at the moment, Clarke. That child should be better-”

Clarke stood up from the table, the chair falling back with the momentum. “Don’t you fucking say it! I tried to tell you Lexa. But guess what? You don’t listen anymore. I talk to you and it’s like speaking to a wall. And Josephine always has something she needs from you. Every. Damn. Time!!!”

“I have a bigger responsibility, Clarke. I’m doing my best but when I try it’s you who tells me you have to finish this or that for McCreary. When you paint the world ceases to exist!” Lexa stood up too. The conversation becoming a heated argument. “I’m not saying that we shouldn’t help. There is an empty guest bedroom. All I’m saying is that taking a kid is not going to be easy when we both have very important professional projects right now!”

“Trust me Lexa, I already know how much you care about Polis. I won’t burden you with a child that you didn’t ask for, okay? Madi is _my_ responsibility! No need to worry.”

Clarke went towards Madi and told her to stay put for a bit. Lexa felt her stomach drop, this isn’t what she had in mind when she left work earlier.

Clarke pushed a wild brown curl away from the girl’s face softly. The scene causing a sort of flutter in Lexa’s belly seeing Clarke so protective of the small child.

“Clarke, where are you going?”

Clarke began moving into the opposite direction of Lexa.

“Stay and eat something. We can discuss this later. I didn’t mean to be rude, Clarke. I’m deeply sorry.”

“I’m not hungry and not in the mood to talk to you right now. I’m going to fix the guest bedroom for Madi. Good night, Lexa.” Clarke began retreating upstairs leaving Lexa alone.

Lexa sighed and took her seat, feeling defeated, exhaustion suddenly taking a toll on her spirit, she definitely lost her appetite too.

She raised her eyes, looking at the little brunette, confused. Lexa slowly walked towards the girl. She remained at a safe distance so as to not to scare the child.

“Hey,” Lexa shoved her hands inside her sweatpants front pockets. “I’m sorry about that. Talk about an awful first impression.” Lexa joked lamely.

The girl was looking at her deeply, as if examining her before daring to say a word.

“Look, I want you to know that you’re welcome in this house. I was surprised by my wife, but that’s on me. I’m sorry if I made you feel unwelcome. I had no idea who you were and suddenly I find you here with my wife. I was not expecting this. Again, I regret my previous behavior. I’d like to earn your trust, just as Clarke did. If you’ll let me...”

Lexa seeing there was no reaction she let out a slow breath, scratching her head in confusion. “If you’re hungry there’s chinese food and ah-”

“Heda.” The girl said.

Lexa raised her eyebrows up to her forehead. “Oh, how did you…” Lexa looked at her left wrist were the worn knitted bracelet remained. 

“What does it mean?” Madi asked with such a childish curiosity, grinning widely and Lexa could see the girl was missing a tooth.

Lexa chuckled, “That’s what Clarke called me in her phone contact list. Head and heart. According to my wife I was the head, um, it doesn’t matter. That’s a story for another day. My name’s Lexa. Nice to meet you, Madison?” Lexa extended her hand.

“Madi!” The girl clasped Lexa’s arm, in a funny way that reminded her of the times she actually did this with Anya.

_What a coincidence_, she thought.

“Alright. My wife is setting the room up for you. You can go to the table and eat whatever you like while watching cartoons until Clarke comes to get you. I’ll just leave the two of you to avoid getting into another discussion so um, welcome to our home, Madi.”

Lexa went upstairs to her bedroom and sat on the corner of the bed, sighing, she leaned holding her head between her hands.

“Well, shit.”

________________

“Are you going to answer that?” Raven asked pointing to Clarke’s cellphone on the nearby table.

“No.” Clarke said dryly. Adding more black to her art.

“It’s Lexa.” Raven said.

“I’m busy.”

“Clarke?”

“Raven?”

“Seriously, you’ve been ignoring her calls. What do you do at night? Send her to the dog house?” Raven peeked at the other side of the workshop where Madi was entertained with a puzzle Raven bought.

“No. She sleeps in our bed. We just aren’t talking much.” Clarke shrugged.

“Things between you two have been tense. I noticed it, Anya noticed it too. I’m just thinking something has to give, Griffin.”

“Rae, stay out of it. I appreciate you helping me with Madi, but let me deal with my wife.” Clarke said in a serious tone.

“Alright. Whatever you say. Just call me if you need anything else.” Raven waved bye to Madi and left the workshop.

“Did you have fun, Madi?”

“Yes! Aunty Ray is awesome!” Madi jumped on her little feet still high from her time with Raven in her shop.

“Aunty Ray?” Clarke laughed. “Yeah, I bet she told you how awesome she is.” Clarke began preparing the material to finish her last and biggest canvas to date.

“You can go to my office and play there. I have coloring books and materials for you to use. I’ll be here working for a bit longer. Okay?”

Madi nodded obediently and moved towards the office.

“Alright, let’s finish this.”

  
  


After a couple of hours, Clarke was looking at her finished work, she removed her airpods shutting down her very angsty playlist. Her neck and back were tight and it hurt even to move, but she finally had something worthy. Right in that instant Costia entered the workshop.

“Oh my! Look at that!” Costia came closer to inspect the art on the canvas. “This is highly unexpected.” Costia turned to look at Clarke.

“In a good or bad way?” Clarke asked, tapping her foot in the tiles waiting anxiously for her mentor’s valued opinion.

“Oh, in a very good way. Going from acrylic, which is your specialty, to watercolor was a bold move; looks impressive. The colors blend beautifully and the design catches my eye right away. A little bit dramatic but that’s my personal take.”

Clarke sighed in relief. “Thanks, McCreary might think differently but I’m glad you at least like it.”

Costia rolled her eyes. “Really Clarke, stop with that insecurity. It’s a great work. Now though, the shapes are rough, even um, I’d say angry? It’s like the desolated tower in the background, instead of imposing, looks more sad. The girl standing on that peak looks so alone.” Costia perked her brow, inspecting Clarke. “Everything okay at home?”

Clarke swallowed, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Sure? Madi is adapting really well living with me and Lex; my mom talked with Marcus about enrolling her in TonDC Elementary but first Madi will be learning the basics with a tutor starting next week at my mom’s.”

“I’m not talking about your protegé. How are things with Lexa? Anya tells me you two have been a little tense?”

“You too?” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Raven is your best friend, and I think after all these years me and Anya are also close to you, which makes us be concerned about you two.”

“I know, sorry for jumping at you. I guess... I don’t know.” Clarke shrugged. “We’re in a weird place. Not sure how to navigate these changes with the magazine and her role now. How you do it?” Clarke dared to ask. “You and Anya. If you don’t mind me asking. How do you two being so different, manage to find a balance between each of your worlds? I have to admit I envy that about you two.”

Costia pulled a nearby stool and sat on it. “Our marriage isn’t perfect, Clarke. We have our disagreements here and there in case you were wondering.” Costia chuckled. She smiled and in her brown eyes you could see the love she felt for her spouse. “Anya has been so good; when I used to travel back and forth to New York was the hardest. Anya had to stay here and with the school she had to grade projects and tests. She was so busy, just like me, but we always managed to find the time to reconnect. Now I’m moving fully here and we’re in our new place. I couldn’t ask more from her. But this is not magic, Clarke. It required a lot of work, sacrifice and patience. I think that as long as we don’t take each other for granted we can keep pushing for a better relationship.”

“I just- Lexa is so focused in Polis right now. Nothing else seems to matter to her. Not even Madi.” Clarke said dejectedly, lowering her gaze.

“She has a lot on her plate. Just like you, but like I said, you need to keep working on your relationship. Lexa is a kind soul and I know she cares for the girl as much as you do. Make sure to keep always the channel of communication open, even when your pride might get in the way of it.”

“Thanks, Cos. I’m leaving my work here. I’m taking Madi home now.”

“Sure. I’ll keep reviewing the catalog for our holiday exhibit and gather some local artists to present their art.”

“Great, thanks again Costia.” Clarke waved bye to her friend and stood up, washed her materials and made it back to her office were Madi was entertained with a book.

“Ready?” Clarke asked the little girl.

“This is fun. I like the pictures!” Madi said beaming.

“Yeah. I’ll read the story for you tonight.” Clarke began picking up the things in her office tossing them in her handbag. “Also I have great news.”

“What news?” The girl asked excited.

“My mom and her boyfriend will be helping you to catch up with school. Marcus is going to get you a tutor and you’ll begin next week.”

“Really? I’m going to be with other kids?”

“Not yet. Once you complete the general course then we’ll see if you can go to a classroom. For now you’ll be home schooled.”

_RING RING_ _RING RING_

Clarke listened to her spouse ringtone. Clarke pulled out the device thinking if she should answer or not. _Open communication_, Clarke repeated mentally.

“What’s up?” Clarke extended her hand, and adjusted her phone for the videocall.

“Hello, Clarke. I uh, I thought for a second you were going to send me to voicemail.”

“I almost did.” Clarke shrugged, pulling Madi along the sidewalk.

“Right. Umm…” the way in which Lexa clenched her jaw was a classic Lexa nervous or stressed tick. “I ah, I forgot to tell you last night that Josephine invited us for dinner along her parents tonight.” Lexa explained. “But if you can’t come, I totally understand.” Lexa added quickly as a way to appease her wife in case of an outburst.

“To Josephine’s? With her parents?” Clarke reached her car, she unlocked the alarm once she found her key chain opening the door to help Madi get in the back of the car. Adjusting her seatbelt while she left Lexa looking at the sky.

Clarke picked her phone from the roof and sat on the driver’s seat, where she used the phone holder to rest her phone.

“Sure. Like some kind of pre-thanksgiving?” Clarke asked, turning the engine on.

“I suppose? It’s not formal though.”

“Okay, I’ll drop Madi at my mom’s and you can pick me there.”

Lexa smiled with relief. “Thank you, Clarke.”

“Okay.”

Right before she ended the call, Lexa said. “I love you.”

-oo-

Right around 8:00 pm the roaring engine of Lexa’s mustang stopped in front of Abby’s home. Clarke bid goodbye to Madi and her mom and walked towards the car.

She decided to wear a simple red dress, not too fancy not too casual.

Lexa ever the gentlewoman she was opened the door for her, waving towards the door were Abby was as greeting. Once Clarke was comfortable on her seat Lexa moved to the wheel.

“Thanks again for coming.” Lexa moved her hand on the shift and put the car on its way.

The ride towards the Lightbourne’s was pretty much silent. The radio playing some rock-pop music from a famous artist was the only sound between them. It wasn’t their normal silence, it was thicker, with unreleased tension and tiredness of months of overworking or barely sleeping.

They arrived after a bit of driving until they got to the suburbs, a nice very set of houses surrounded by trees stood around them. Right at the gated community there was a sign that read ‘Sanctum.’

Lexa announced herself at the checkpoint and soon they were allowed into the gated community.

“Wow, this looks like an actual palace.” Clarke commented looking through the window as Lexa parked in the assigned spot.

“Yeah. The Lightbourne’s have tons of businesses, mostly to do with astronomy.” Lexa turned off the car and quickly went to open the door for Clarke. She offered her hand as usual, but Clarke took a second longer to take it.

The couple walked towards the main entrance, where two set of stairs, one on each side, led them to the main double doors at the entrance.

Lexa rang the doorbell and in a matter of seconds they were welcomed, quite warmly by Josephine herself.

“You’re here! Welcome!” Josephine was quick to greet Lexa with a kiss on the cheek, next, she was jumping Clarke with a very tight hug. Leaving Clarke completely stunned. She had no idea if Josephine even knew what were boundaries at this point, but the woman clearly felt she was well-acquainted already with the Griffin-Woods.

“I’m so happy to see you both! Did you have any trouble finding the place?” Josephine invited the couple inside.

“No, it was no trouble.” Lexa commented, guiding Clarke towards another area, led by Josephine.

The amount of art around the walls was what got Clarke’s attention the most. The color was also very different from what Clarke used to seeing for residences. The terracotta, browns and greys gave a different kind of atmosphere, kind of soothing and peaceful.

“Dad! They’re here!” Josephine moved to the side of her father.

“Welcome to our home.” Russell said. He was dressed with a black suit, the jacket had some gold embroidery. “Meet my wife, Simone.” Russell introduced the woman standing by his side. A light brown skin, elegant woman. With dark brown eyes, and a very stylish up-do. She was wearing a long dress over her lean body and a golden necklace around her neck.

“It is an honor to meet you.” Simone offered her greetings.

“A pleasure, I’m Lexa and this is my wife, Clarke. Thank you for inviting us.” Lexa said.

“Now that we're done with the introductions, please take a seat. Food will be served immediately.” Josephine, led them to a very long rectangular table. The circular windows on the side walls had intricate designs but allowed a lot of natural light to enter into the dining area. The terracotta walls provided a homey vibe.

Clarke and Lexa sat on one side, and Russell, Simone and Josephine on the other.

Soon, a variety of food trays were brought and dinner began.

-oo-

Conversation flowed easily. It was clear to Clarke that the Lightbourne’s had a lot of expertise in their respective fields. They talked about general topics, more related to the businesses they possessed, genetic engineering, space mechanics and art of course.

Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little bit small in front of such people.

“It is really good that things are moving forward with your magazine, huh Josie?” Russell sipped his wine comfortably.

“Yes, dad. Lexa has been invaluable. She really knows how to attract an audience.” Josephine commented and if it wasn’t for Clarke’s incredible restraint she would have rolled her eyes.

“I’m doing what I can to save Polis.” Lexa replied as a matter of fact.

“Daddy? Remember the art I bought? That was made by Clarke.” Josephine added. “She’s spectacular.”

“That’s lovely, Clarke.” Simone commented.

“She’ll have a new exhibit at Eligius very soon. After Thanksgiving if I remember what the Eligius Gallery published.” Josephine was more excited for such exhibit than her own wife, going by Lexa’s lack of response. Actually, her wife got slightly tense, Clarke noticed how she straightened her back and began drinking more wine.

“Yes, the first week of December.” Clarke clarified.

“I’m happy to show you around my own stuff. We can leave Lexa with mom and dad. Come.” Josephine invited Clarke.

She excused herself and followed the other blonde.

“This is my room. I like to paint here while I dance and sing. It’s so cathartic for me and I love it.” Josephine showed Clarke a big canvas with a very pretty portrait.

“You’re good.” Clark had to admit the girl had technique.

_Is there anything she can’t do?_

“It’s just fun for me, it’s so liberating, right?”

“Yup, very.” Clarke tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice, but she might have been failing.

“I’m so happy to make a friend as talented as you, Clarke. I can’t wait to support your new exhibit! I’ll make sure to send pictures to Lexa. I promise!”

Clarke eyed Josephine clearly flabbergasted. She arched her brow, approaching Josephine. “What do you mean by sending pictures to my wife? She’s going to be there.”

Josephine tilted her head, confused by something.

“No Clarke, I know the dates better than anyone, but I assure you I’ll keep her in touch. Lexa is such an asset right now that I can’t let her-”

“What the fuck do you mean!?” Clarke wasn’t playing more stupid games. She was getting angry.

Josephine furrowed her brow, still not catching on what was happening. “Lexa is going on a promo tour. Didn’t she tell you?”

Clarke was left blinking like an idiot.

“OOH! Stupid me.” Clarke face-palmed I am such a doofus.” She chortled, hitting her forehead. “I’m all messed up due to the Eligius exhibit, Right!”

Josephine smiled, “Ah of course. Makes sense!”

“I uh, I gotta go. I have to pick up my ah, my um, someone. A girl I’m taking care of. Thank you for the invitation. It was lovely.”

Clarke didn’t even wait for a reply, she returned to the table were Lexa was chatting amicably with the older Lightbournes.

“Honey, we need to go. Madi needs to go to bed for her tutoring tomorrow morning.” She rested her hand, heavily over Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa swallowed but nodded. “Thank you so much, Russell. We need to leave but it was a wonderful dinner.”

Clarke moved right away towards the exit, not waiting for Lexa.

She walked herself out and made it all the way back to the car parked outside the residential area.

Lexa caught up with her a couple of minutes later.

“Clarke, what’s wrong? We left in a hurry.”

“You’re fucking leaving?” Clarke turned around, clenching her fist tight on her side. She noticed how Lexa paled visibly.

“When were you planning to tell me this, huh? I had to hear from your business partner that the great Alexandria is going on tour!” Clarke growled.

“I uh, Clarke. I, I wanted to tell you. I just, I didn’t know how.” Lexa tried to appease her wife.

“Lexa, I can’t fucking believe you right now!” Clarke began pacing like a lion in a cage. “I have my exhibit soon, we have Madi staying with us and you know Social Services is checking with us every month!”

“I know, Clarke. I tried to find another way, but Josephine’s right. We need to make sure to get great numbers during the holidays to make sure Polis remains in business. It’s not something I like but is something I have to do!”

“That’s bullshit! I’m so tired of this crap, Lexa. Every time there’s something new, something that needs to be taken care of.”

“I’m doing what I can to keep the jobs of a lot of people safe. The world is not black and white, Clarke! Painting is not the only thing that matters, you know? Because guess what? I have come home early some days, because I’m fucking trying and you’re not anywhere to be found. But I don’t say shit because then you get all offended!” Lexa bit back.

“That’s not-” Clarke began, but she realized where they were and let out a slow breath to reel back her anger. “You know? I don’t wanna talk about this here. Let’s go get Madi.”

______________

The ride back home was one of the worst things Lexa ever had to endure. The thick angry silence was eating her from the inside out.

Madi at least managed to not catch too much in the awful environment. Lexa didn’t want to involve the girl in her personal mess.

Once they reached the penthouse, Lexa dropped the keys in the bowl and removed her jacket, tossing it on the couch in the living room. She watched as Madi ran towards her room skipping happily. Clarke waited behind until the girl was out of ears.

“When do you leave?” Clarke asked.

“Right after Thanksgiving. I should be done mid-January.” Lexa started to roll the sleeves of her button up. Finding something to do with her hands.

“Wow, and you didn’t think to tell me? You’re going to spend all the holidays and new year away from us. Madi’s first Christmas in the house and you’re just-” Clarke waved her hand around to complete what she couldn't say.

“I wanted to tell you. However, things have been… difficult lately. I promise-”

“No.” Clarke shook her head, she sounded not angry but defeated. “I’m so tired of your promises Lexa. If you trusted me maybe-”

“I do trust you, Clarke!” Lexa was quick to add. Taking careful steps towards Clarke, she tried to reach for her hand but Clarke pulled away.

“It doesn’t look like you do, Lexa.” Clarke sighed, rubbing her eyes in exhaustion. “It’s always something with you. And I know Polis matters, I know you’re this famous person that has to keep her fanbase content. I just wished I was a priority too.”

Lexa’s lips trembled, and soon her green eyes became teary. “You’re everything to me, Clarke. I understand what you’re saying, but I’m doing this for you too! To be able to provide for our family, I have to do things that we might not like. I want to be there to support you in your art showcase, I want to be by your side but right now I have to do this thing. I swear I’ll stop once Polis is secure. Do you believe me?”

“I-” Clarke’s eyes were now such a clear blue, filled with sad tears it broke Lexa’s heart. “I don’t know. I just might be selfish for wanting you all to myself.”

With that Clarke left.

When Lexa arrived to her bedroom, she noticed Clarke wasn’t going to be sleeping with her by the lack of pillows on her side.

This was the first time in 12 years where the spouses slept in the same house in different beds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, apologies for the delay. Quarantine has been hectic, but I hope this finds you in health and safety. The last weeks have been very intense, so I hope you are all finding comfort surrounded by people that supports and loves you. A little something to brighten (maybe not) your weekend.
> 
> Take care xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A song for this chapter would be this one :)
> 
> "Were you right, was I wrong  
Were you weak, was I strong, yeah  
Both of us broken  
Caught in a moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we joked, yeah  
But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
The chemicals react"
> 
> Chemicals React by Aly&AJ

Thanksgiving was always a celebration where the Griffin-Woods were surrounded by friends and family, in a lovely and lively environment where laughter was predominant and their friends and their family had a good time.

This year, however, things were slightly different.

The table was filled with food brought by each one of their guests, people were chatting and there was conversation flowing, but it was very evident that things were not alright in the household of Lexa and Clarke.

Lexa drank some more of the wine that Raven kindly bought, keeping a relaxed face, small smile and nodding when it was opportune. She stole a glance to Clarke every now and then, as the blonde talked animatedly with her mother Abby, the doctor shared the progress of Madi in her tutoring and it was going well by what Lexa could hear. If this was a normal situation, Clarke would be beaming alongside Lexa, including her in the conversation.

Not tonight.

Instead, Lexa remained in her own space, making sure to not invade Clarke’s personal one if it was not requested.

Lexa returned to her glass and decided that she was more than full - turkey, salad and even pie were part of the wonderful dishes their friends brought. Anya, Costia, Raven and Marcus were practically family at this point. Bellamy and Echo, Harper and Monty, Jasper, Maya, Indra and Gaia, Gustus, Lincoln, etc, always filled the house with company and friendship. Lexa was glad the house at least seemed happy. Stepping aside from the table and deciding to head to her balcony and drink some more, Lexa excused herself.

“Wanna join us, commander?” Bellamy asked with the video game control in his hand in offering.

It was funny that since Lexa became part of Clarke’s world, she was included in every little thing her friends did. Including their Fortnite games Sunday night. She was leaving tomorrow, her bags already packed. Clarke was clear she wasn’t going to drop her at the airport and much less bid her goodbye. Lexa was not in the mood for fun and games.

Not tonight.

“No thanks. I need to be up early tomorrow. Don’t want to stress myself with how bad your aim is, Blake.” Lexa jabbed in good manner.

“That’s true,” Jasper added.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “I saved your ass so don’t complain!”

Lexa walked away from the living room and finally reached the balcony. She leaned on the veranda and looked at the lights of the city. Drinking some more of the wine as she got lost in her thoughts.

“Hey Lex.” Anya’s voice pulled her out from her reverie.

“Hey, An. Having a good time?” Lexa hadn’t know how long she had been here but she felt her hands cold. She left her glass on a nearby chair and put her hands inside her slacks.

“Yeah. What about you?” Anya stood beside Lexa, looking at the blinking lights of the surrounding buildings.

Lexa shrugged. “Sure, everyone is enjoying the dinner.”

Anya shook her head, “Come on, dummy. It’s me. I know you and I can tell you and blondie aren’t on good terms. What happened now?”

Lexa leaned on the handrail gathering her thoughts. “I didn’t tell Clarke about the promotional tour I have to do for Polis. She found out at Josephine’s and shit went down. Can’t blame her. I just wished she could understand me.”

“She does, Clarke isn’t a selfish possessive spouse. If I have learned anything about your wife it’s that she can be way too stubborn though and you’ve been so absent since this thing at Polis began. Clarke just refuses to keep letting you go, but she understands your situation.” Anya explained.

“Trust me, Anya. I want to be with her and Madi, but I can’t refuse to help Polis if this could add the sponsors we need to secure this business. I cannot support it by myself, I need Josie and if she thinks this is the solution, then I’m going to go with it.”

Anya rested her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m in your corner, Lex. Always, you know that. You don’t have to do things on your own. I hoped you talked to me. I miss you too. We all miss you and I know you didn’t want to hurt Clarke, much less lie to her but you gotta be honest with her. This is taking a toll in your relationship and I don’t wanna see you both hurting.”

Lexa turned around looking back inside her home, seeing the faces of the people chatting inside, the smiles, the camaraderie and love. 

“I need a little bit more time, Anya. All I have to do is this and I’ll arrange my schedule and try my best to be here for her, for _them_.”

Anya chuckled. “You’ve turned into a pile of mush with that kid around huh?”

Lexa smiled sincerely. “Madi is a remarkable girl. I wish I was here more often. Clarke and Madi have this beautiful thing going on. When Clarke is with her, her eyes brighten up and she seems to glow.”

“And you can be part of that too, but that needs commitment, Lex. You have to slow down at work or else…”

Lexa didn’t need to fill in the blanks. She knew what was at stake here. However, this wasn’t going to be solved yet at least.

Not tonight.

-oo-

At the crack of dawn Lexa finished getting herself ready. Her limbs felt heavy, but she pushed herself to finish getting dressed. She looked at her reflection in her dresser, making sure to look at least decent in case Titus gave the press info about her arrival to LA, where she would begin the promotion of the new website and holiday special issue of the magazine.

She rolled the sleeves of her button up and took a last glance at her wife. She imprinted in her mind the image of the beautiful woman hoarding the blankets in her corner, the long blonde tresses spilled over the pillow and the even breaths as Clarke dreamed of better days. Lexa put on her wedding band lastly and even when she was tempted to bid farewell with a kiss, Lexa knew right now Clarke wouldn’t appreciate being touched without her consent, not when they had been arguing every single day for the last few days.

Lexa grabbed her jacket from the perch and grabbed her roller bag. She stopped at the door to look once more at Clarke.

“I love you. I hope you know that.” Lexa said before closing the door softly.

Walking down the stairs she made sure everything was secure before leaving for her ride. However in the kitchen island she spotted the disheveled mop of brown hair of the little girl now living with her.

“Hey, kiddo. Why are you up so early?” Lexa approached Madi and sat on the next stool.

“I was hungry.” Madi put another spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

Lexa smiled. “I can totally see that. Make sure you eat slow, don’t want you choking with the cereal.”

“You’re leaving now?”

“Yes.”

Madi returned her spoon into her bowl. She eyed Lexa with her big blue-greyish eyes. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“And I’m going to miss you, Mads. But now you’re going to be fully with Clarke. Make sure to give her tons of love while I’m away, okay?”

“Yup, all the kisses!” Madi replied with a toothy grin.

“You be a good girl, and if I manage some free time I’ll call to tell you another story before bedtime.”

“Yay! I like Lexa’s stories. I like Heda. She kicks evil men from her tower!”

Lexa chuckled. “Yeah, she does.” After a second Lexa removed the old knitted bracelet from her wrist and put it into the smaller one of Madi. “I want you to have this. Now that I’ll be gone, you’ll become the new Heda of the house.”

Madi’s eyes turned bigger, the childish surprise showing in her face. “Me?”

“Yes, now you’re our ‘Little Heda’ and your mission is to make Clarke very happy and keep her safe.”

“Can I kick evil men from towers too?” Madi asked looking at her new acquisition.

“When you’re older you might, right now let’s not kick anyone, okay?” Lexa ruffled the top of her head.

Madi moved from her stool and hugged tightly the older brunette. “I’m gonna miss Lexa lots!”

Lexa pulled the little girl closer, “Me too, so damn much little Heda. I’ll do my best to spend more time with you and Clarke. I know I haven’t been the best host to you, but I do care, Madi.” Lexa let go and stepped away. “I have to go now. I leave my heart with you and Clarke.” She kissed the top of the head of the child and she had no idea how she did it but she made it outside, letting out a long sigh.

Lexa realized how much she had gotten used to the little presence in her home. How happy her wife had been around Madi and considering the little time she was home, how much Lexa cared already for the child.

______________

Clarke was in her office, filling out some paperwork, her new art after months of uncertainty, was ready; all she had to do was wait for the Eligius exhibit in a couple more days.

She had put her time and effort in her art and gallery, to keep at bay the growing resentment she was feeling for the figure of Alexandria - the sexy, alluring and fuckable writer - according to the few things she had catch on Twitter and Instagram.

“There she is!” She heard Raven from afar. “Claaaarke! Come here, your wife is on TV!” Her friend shouted.

Clarke sighed, she dropped the pen on her desk and hesitated. She really didn’t want to see anything, not a glimpse of how Josephine was whoring her wife to the media and feeding her to the fans.

After a couple of minutes a knock on the door interrupted her dark thoughts.

“Clarkey, come on! Don’t be like that!” Raven approached her and began pulling her from her arm. “Lexa is doing her best and you could be there to cheer on her. At least from a distance since you don’t call or text her.” The computer expert pointed out. “Look, I get that you’re angry and hurt. I assure you Lexa had the best intentions, but acting like a brat won’t solve any of your problems. Something has to give, Clarke.” Raven squeezed her hand. “Be the adult.”

“Reyes, I thought I asked you to come here to help me move the Eligius paintings into the car. Not to watch my wife on TV.”

“Griffin, don’t be an asshole. It’s your woman on TV! Let’s go!”

“Uuugh, fine.” Clarke relented. She knew Raven was never going to stop if she didn’t go with her best friend.

“Can you increase the volume, Niylah?” Raven asked.

Soon she heard the smooth, velvet voice of her wife through the TV speakers. Lexa was being featured today on a morning talk show in LA, which was very popular but Clarke could care less about it.

“I wasn’t so open before in my writing.” Lexa answered the women interviewer Eileen or something if Clarke wasn’t mistaken. “I ah, I opened up a bit more as I struggled to be able to show how I felt towards the person I love.”

Clarke tuned out of the conversation to thirst. She had to admit Lexa looked so fucking good. She was dressed casually, in blue jeans and a white button up, tucked neatly inside. A brown belt with a golden buckle at her waist and a blue blazer to compliment her outfit. Her hair was in a messy bun which clearly gave her fans that sexy writer appeal that so many ranted about on social media. A combination of rose tones to complement her makeup. She was gorgeous.

“I decided to maintain the neutral aspect of my column so fans can identify with the feels and the emotions that I pour into my writing, but yes, I’m a big dyke.” Lexa said among the laughter and cheers from the audience.

“And your married right?” The host asked.

“Yes, very married to a wonderful woman.”

“But you don’t talk much about her, do you?”

“I’ve been trying to keep my personal life away from the scrutinizing eye of the media. I respect my wife and her rights to privacy. I’ll focus in my work and the new blog, which is what should matter to you and my fans. My personal life is off limits.”

“Noted. Moving on then. This tour is not just about your books but Polis Magazine…”

“Daaaamn, gotta give it to her. Lexa is good with words.” Raven praised.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, I made it just in time!” Costia came inside the lobby carrying some files. She delivered it to Niylah before joining Clarke and Raven.

“Wow, it’s so amazing to see our Lexa on such a big show!” Costia commented. “They are really putting Polis out there. Hear those fans! I don’t think we can truly imagine the popularity of Alexandria Woods!”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Please, those girls scream for every little thing she does. It’s ridiculous!”

“I believe someone is jelly!” Raven singsonged. Laughing at the utter face of disgust of the painter.

“Lexa loves you and only you. If you ever doubted it I think she has been very clear on national TV about that.” Costia giggled. “I think that was very romantic.”

Clarke huffed. “Lexa is anything but.”

“Clarke, Lexa is a sap when it’s about you. It was such a strange thing to see at first in the blossoming of your relationship with her. The way she transformed her stoic persona into this soft lesbian was um, I have to admit it hurt my pride.”

“Costia, I-”

“No, no no. This is not me being a bitch and bringing back how my relationship with Lexa fell apart. We already buried that in the past. What I mean is that I know, because Anya is pretty much the same. Those two are so alike that I could swear they are actually family.”

“Lexa doesn’t talk about her past. She has never told me much about her childhood or her connection with Anya. I don’t understand why?”

“I must say I don’t know much either. Anya has told me what we all know about them being friends and that Anya cared for Lexa, but not much beyond that.” Costia thought some more. “It must be something that Lexa keeps guarded because that’s how she wants it to be, but don’t take it personally.”

“Tell us about your Holiday Date Night with Alexandria-”

Clarke returned her attention to the television, frowning, “Her what?”

“Ah, right. We want to be closer to our readers and launched a special contest through our website. For these holidays I’ll spend a day one-on-one with three lucky winners. All you have to do is use your subscription number to fill out the form and you’ll be participating in the raffle. It’s going to be a very special day for sure!”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Imagine spending a day with this stunning woman? Who knows and you might get lucky!”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean!?” Clarke was already pacing in the lobby. “Josephine is using my wife to get sales and making dates with her fans? What if they throw themselves at her?”

“Clarke, calm down. It’s a harmless contest.” Costia came to reassure Clarke. But the blonde was clearly on edge already.

“An unknown person is going to be with my wife. ALONE!!”

“Clarke, don’t be illogical. Lexa will probably have Titus around, a photographer will also be there to document the winners’ reactions. Lexa has never given you reason to be jealous.” Raven added.

“I’m not jealous!” Clarke growled. “Have you read the comments on Lexa’s photos online? Have you read the lewdness of some of those fans? They sexualize her so much. Aargh! I hate this!”

With that Clarke returned to her office, locking the door because she was done with this madness.

“Fuck Polis and mostly fuck you, Alexandria!”

-oo-

The Eligius exhibit came in no time. Which was good to maintain her sole focus in her art and Madi. Tonight was a perfect occasion to add potential customers, and according to McCreary, get her in touch with higher level clients and critics.

Eligius was way bigger than Eden. Clearly more space to showcase more works. However, the location wasn’t as favorable as her gallery.

Clarke dressed in a simple white blazer, with heels. Her blonde hair tamed in a french braid. She was in her little corner as the guests walked around looking at the art that was presented.

The gallery was packed but the young artist still felt shivers. Clarke tightened her jacket and grabbed a glass of red wine from one of the trays the waiters distributed along the exhibit floor.

Funny how December used to be her favorite time of the year. Lexa and her would be taking out the decoration boxes and getting ready to decorate their apartment by now. This time they had Madi, and the memories would have been everlasting, if Lexa was around. How marvelous it could have been the three of them together.

Reality sucked.

Costia was nearby, looking very confident and with a more positive attitude than hers. Anya was close by chatting with Raven, whilst her mother and Marcus took Madi for a look around the gallery.

Everyone offering their support.

Everyone but _her_.

“Clarke, whatever happens this is good work. Don’t let McCreary or any other art critic bring you down. I’m already making connections and things look good for Eden. Relax and enjoy your night, okay?” Costia encouraged. Squeezing her shoulders to brighten the artist up.

“I know. I just…” Clarke shrugged.

Costia offered a sympathetic smile. “Hang in there. Lexa will come back home soon.” Costia strolled around to network some more.

Clarke stayed in her spot, trying to relax and ease into the night.

“Well well well.” Clarke turned around at the thick, familiar voice of her harshest critic. “Consider me impressed.”

“Mr. McCreary, thank you for bringing me here. It’s lovely.” Clarke said, smiling politely and trying to look confident, instead of the nerve wreck she was.

“I’m glad I did. These paintings here are definitely a change in your regular technique. Looks pristine but what I like the most is how raw it is. I was expecting something softer, especially for watercolors but you did the opposite and blew my mind.” McCreary approached her main canvas. “Clients are already talking about you. Your visceral art breaks the mold and you definitely didn’t disappoint with this. It’s a kind of anger that is subtle in the art, but so thick in the shapes I can feel it in my core.” He turned around, “I assure you this is going to sell for a great price.”

“Thank you.” Clarke replied more at ease now that he approved of her work.

“I’d like you to do me a favor.”

“Ah so now it’s payback time huh?”

“Nothing bad, I promise. Let me introduce you to someone who can give you the spotlight you deserve.” McCreary guided Clarke to another section of the gallery where she was met with a tall, elegant woman.

“Diyoza, this is the one.” He said with a smile. “She deserves a spread, don’t you agree?”

“Clarke Griffin. Interesting art you propose.” She extended her hand. “Charmaine Diyoza and I’d like to have you in my magazine. Have you heard of Damocles?”

Yes, she did because that was Polis' competitor. Clarke was feeling slightly conflicted.

“I have.” She answered. “You present a variety of things though. Not sure I’m needed in it.”

“Please. I’d love nothing more than to have you. People are amazed at your art. It’d be foolish of me not to highlight you.”

“I uh, I’m not sure…”

“Clarke,” McCreary got closer to Clarke to speak closely. “Don’t hesitate. This is only the first step. You’ll be recognized on your own. Your sole name at the top. Isn’t that what you want?”

“I- I do.”

McCreary widened his grin. “It’s settled then. Diyoza, she’s all yours.”

____________

“Chin slightly up and to the left. Yes! That’s it!” The photographer instructed Lexa, who was sitting in a stool right in front of a grey background.

“Alright, now turn a little bit that way. Eyes up and chill!”

_CLICK_ _CLICK CLICK!_

“Okay, these are good. Now let’s bring the models.” The photographer instructed.

“Makeup!” Someone shouted.

Lexa frowned, walking away from the set to consult with her manager while the makeup team arranged her loose hair.

“Titus, what kind of photoshoot is this? Do I really need to keep most of my shirt open?”

Lexa checked her current wardrobe. A black pant held by suspenders, her white button up opened at the collar allowing a peek at her cleavage.

“Lexa, this is going to make you look approachable, less serious and your fans are going to want to get your books for a chance of getting your signature in them. Let the pros do their job and make sure you look good.” The bald man reprimanded.

“Okay, Ms. Woods! Stand right in between the models. Take off the suspenders and open her shirt some more, please.”

“Um, what?”

Lexa looked at the two models, both dressed in black clothes. The two models, one blonde and the other a black-haired woman of apparently Asian descent looked alluring and pretty sexy. Lexa gulped down her nerves as the assistant began arranging her wardrobe per the photographer’s instructions.

“The models will frame you, touching you like you're made of gold. They want a piece of you. I need you to stand there confident, enjoying their ministrations, flirty and sexy. Okay?”

Lexa began to panic. “Ahm, one moment please.” Lexa strolled back to her agent. “Titus, I don’t want anyone touching me like that. I don’t feel comfortable with this shoot. I’m a married woman, I shouldn’t be posing like the next heartthrob teen.”

“Lexa, this isn’t about you. This is for Polis and the persona of Alexandria. Play the role you have taken; besides, your condition of not removing your wedding band was respected.”

“Titus, I’m not a model. I write books!”

“Josephine told me, ‘Alexandria’s role as blogger had to be updated’ and I agreed because this was a deal to get your novels out there too. Trust me, I know what is best for your career, Lexa.”

Lexa clenched her jaw. She really didn’t have much choice.

“This is an edgy, sexy and fun photoshoot that will be used to promote the tour and Polis Magazine. It will be on billboards all over the country! All you have to do is become Alexandria and breath Alexandria. You’ll be done shortly.” Titus shoved her towards the set, hurrying her up.

“Alright. Let’s play ladies. Don’t be shy, Ms. Woods. These are your conquests, you rule the world, yours to command! Flirt with them with your eyes but keep looking at me.”

Lexa tried to relax, her shoulders were tense, and her movements were tight but she did her best to relax. Letting the models engulf her, their hands running over her arms and abs. Touching her face softly, playing a game of seduction.

“Very good! That looks great. Reciprocate a bit, Ms. Woods. You’re allowed to reach for them. Surround them with your arms.”

Lexa tried to shut down while she did as told. Becoming Alexandria Woods was starting to take a toll. She had been travelling nonstop since this tour began, and now with the holidays around the corner, she wanted nothing but to be back home with her wife. Yet, she had to fulfill her commitment. She owed it to the people of Polis.

“Excellent! I love it! Come here Ms. Woods. What do you think?” The photographer offered Lexa his camera as he scrolled through the pictures.

“They’re great...”

Lexa looked at the brunette in the pictures and she didn’t recognize herself. She looked so different - she was bold and exuded sex appeal. Nothing like her usual, more reserved self.

“It’s a wrap then. Thank you everyone!” 

Lexa sighed in relief, she was tired and wanted to head to the dressing room and go back to her hotel for a good break.

“Lexa, you have an interview at 4 next. We can go grab lunch and then we head to the studio for the recording. Alright?”

“Titus. I think we covered enough media already. We have to travel to Chicago next and I’m pretty exhausted. Can’t we reschedule?”

“Ms. Lightbourne was helpful getting you the amount of exposure you’re getting. Without her influence you wouldn’t have been on any of the radio and TV shows you have appeared in. This woman clearly has influence and I think this is a chance you can’t ignore. Think of this as killing two birds with one stone. You get the Polis name out there and you promote your novels too.”

“I know. I was hoping we could slow down a bit. This session was too much, Titus. I’m a married woman but this made me look as if I’m available or something.”

Titus adjusted his suit, shaking his head. “Lexa, you’re playing a part here, You’re Alexandria - blogger and writer. The faster you remove yourself from the narrative, the better you’ll understand how this works. To appeal to the audience they need to connect with the person that they see in the magazine.”

“I’m not used to all this attention. That’s all.” Lexa shrugged.

“By the way. Ontari called. She’d like to meet with you. I arranged a dinner once we’re done with the show recording. Okay?”

Lexa nodded. “Sure. I uh, I’d like that.”

“Alright, let’s get moving. We have lots of work ahead.”

-oo-

Lexa flopped in her hotel bed. Her bones felt like lead and she wanted nothing but go to sleep right away.

However, she pulled her phone out. Remembering that today her wife was exhibiting her newest work.

The writer kept looking at the Instagram feed of Eden to see what were the updates. Giving a like immediately as Costia updated the pictures of the event. A small smile appeared on her face, easing her burden just a little. Knowing that Clarke was doing wonderfully made her so happy.

She gave likes to the latest pictures and decided to send a quick text. Clarke probably would be busy to even answer a call from her. Considering that Clarke was pissed at her and probably would send her to voicemail, a text post was the best choice.

**LexaGW: **Hey love. I’m beyond proud to know you’re doing so well at the Eligius showcase. I know that I failed you again and I regret deeply how things are between us. I promise to do better. I love you, always.

She hit send and waited. Obviously, no response came back. Lexa sat on the queen bed, and left her phone on the night table to go get a shower. She removed her socks when a knock on the door stopped her from removing her shirt.

She headed towards the peephole and took a peek.

Seeing who was at the other side Lexa opened the door widely.

“Hey, you. Long time no see!”

“Lexa, gosh! It’s been years. Holy shit!”

“Ontari, please come in.”

Lexa waited until her editor came inside after a brief hug to lock the door again.

“Sorry to come all the way here. I was thinking maybe meet outside but I imagine you must be dead, huh?” Ontari sat on the sofa getting comfortable.

“Yeah, but room service should be fine. Order what you want and I’ll be right there with you.” Lexa skipped to the shower quickly to get herself clean and be there with her friend.

After changing into comfortable sweatpants and a loose Ark University t-shirt she joined the black-haired woman.

“It’s been so long.” Lexa sat in the sofa in front of Ontari. “I know that we talk pretty much all the time on the phone and through emails, but seeing you in person is so different. Looking good by the way.”

Ontari nodded in agreement, smiling. “Yup. So do you, Woods. Work keeps us busy but that’s good. Now before we relax I do want to talk about your latest draft.”

Lexa sat straighter, clasped hands in her lap. She already suspected what Ontari wanted to tell her because Lexa was very aware of how lackluster her writing has been lately.

“The new idea is interesting, but I don’t feel it, Lexa. The writing is sloppy but what concerns me is that there’s no personality to it. it feels like a robot wrote the story.”

“Shit.” Lexa slumped on the backrest. “I knew it was bad, but not garbage bad.”

“I wouldn’t say garbage. I think that you're forcing the writing that it doesn’t flow. Feels static to me. I think that right now you’ve got a ton on your plate. I swear the publishers are in no rush for your new material.” Ontari explained, trying to be as clear and offering her constructive criticism to the best of her capabilities without offending the writer.

The tired brunette rested her elbows on her thighs, holding her head between her hands. “I’m sorry. I guess I keep disappointing the people who trust in me.”

The doorbell rang, interrupting the conversation. Ontari went to get the food while Lexa organized her thoughts.

When Ontari came back she put the food on the table and grabbed a couple of beers from the mini-fridge.

“Here,” Ontari offered the uncapped bottle for the brunette.

“Thanks.” Lexa leaned back and sat up properly again. “I’m stuck. Writer’s block if you may. I don’t feel in the mood and when I try, nothing comes up. Between the Sheets was how I started to write. I did it for love, but now? It’s all about money. How many magazines we can sell and I think I lost my north.” Lexa took a sip, letting the flavor wash her dry mouth. “I was happy, you know? I was living my dream. Writing and with the woman I’m head over heels in love with.” Lexa finished the beer, leaving the empty bottle on the table. “Things are falling apart and I think this is the first time I’ve admitted that out loud.”

“Wow. I ah, I don’t know what to say. I’m single so can’t offer advice. But the writing will come, Lexa. You have the talent. You just need to take a break. A good break and let these unresolved problems reach their resolution.”

That's what I’m afraid of, Ontari. I don’t think this is going to end well...”

______________

Clarke had sold all her paintings, the main piece went for $7,500.00. Tonight she would be pocketing one of the largest sums ever in her short career. McCreary clearly knew how to make her work more outstanding with his clever tongue.

Costia was bouncing and confirmed with Clarke that she had made arrangements for exposing some of her work at other galleries across the country.

This truly seemed like the breakthrough she was looking for. Yet none of this mattered because the person she wanted here the most, was absent.

“Congratulations on such an amazing display, Clarke.” Josephine ended up ruining her sour mood by approaching. “Your art always makes me impressed.”

“Thanks.” Clarke kept her answers short. Clearly trying to shake the annoying business partner of her wife.

“Lexa is going to be so happy to know of your success!”

Clarke perked her brow. Was this woman also in touch with her spouse?

“Yeah… Um, you talk to her frequently?” Clarke asked with certain apprehension, taking a step back as if to wait for the blow.

“Duh! I’m coordinating closely with her and her agent for the promotional tour. It’s going to do wonders for Polis! I can’t thank you enough for your support.” Josephine was giddy. The shorter woman was so chirpy all the time, Clarke had to wonder how she kept such high spirits all the time they talked.

“Of course. I can’t wait for her to come back home.” Clarke smiled politely, trying to be nice to the other blonde. “Thank you for being a good friend to us.”

Josephine laughed. “Oh! I’m happy to be your friend too, Clarke. We’ll be best friends in no time!”

“Right, aah, excuse me. I have to um, you know…”

“Sure! See you around and congratulations!”

Sighing, Clarke moved around some more, making sure to answer questions about her art, taking pictures with guests and other artists and smiling as if everything was fine.

Maybe the best thing to do was that. Smile and make sure these people remembered her name.

_Clarke Griffin, contemporary artist._

It was time to leave behind the title of Alexandria’s wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe and wearing masks! Wish this work is offering a little bit of entertainment in these difficult, complicated times.  
Thanks as usual for your patience and for dropping a few lines to let me know your thoughts about what I write, and even if you don't, I appreciate you are here. And if you don't like it, that's fine as well. Not everyone has to like every single thing out there of a ship and/or fic writer.
> 
> This was beta by unaligned-valkyrie so thanks for the help!
> 
> See you when I see you,
> 
> Tana


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update can be read with the following song,
> 
> "I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights  
No, I can't sleep until I feel your touch  
I said, ooh, I'm drowning in the night  
Oh, when I'm like this, you're the one I trust"
> 
> The Weekend - Blinding Lights

Slowly, very slowly, Clarke opened her eyes, stretching into the bed as far as her limbs could go. She sighed and looked at the empty spot that she was already used to seeing.

She extended her hand to pull the sleepwear lying on the mattress into her face and took a deep inhale. There was still some of Lexa’s scent left in one of the few shirts she left before going on her work trip.

A tear began to slide over her cheek, as Clarke mourned the absence of her wife. It didn’t hurt as much now. She still missed her, but at least the pain in her heart wasn’t as intense. She was getting accustomed to Lexa being absent. All she had to do was imagine Lexa as the commander of a ship, sailing the seven seas. Putting that idea in her mind was what let her sleep at night. If she kept that fantasy, at least she wasn’t going to worry about crazy fans, too many photoshoots in alluring positions and her wife being top and center of a media storm.

Clarke sat in her bed and looked at the magazine thrown over the night table. **Polis Prime Holiday Edition** with Lexa; well, Alexandria, on the cover. Looking incredibly attractive with those suspenders and her top buttons lose. The models touching her like the most coveted price? Not so much.

Clarke wiped her face clean and stood up, rubbing her arms to remove some of the cold in the early January air and began getting ready for her day ahead.

The holidays had been pretty mild compared to previous years. Clarke had done her best to offer Madi the best experience.

A small Christmas dinner with family and friends and movie night had been the right balance. Madi had a brief video call with Lexa, the two chatting amicably as the little girl jumped excitedly, showing the bracelet that Clarke gifted Lexa so many Christmases ago. Promising to be the best little Heda the house had. Warming Clarke’s heart. At least Lexa was able to bond with the girl, but Clarke was afraid that Lexa was going to break Madi’s heart if she kept missing special _family _moments and not fulfilling her promises, and she wasn’t going to allow that.

Clarke backtracked and realized that she had been thinking of Madi as family. She chuckled, the realization hitting her and filling her with warmth. Clarke didn’t want to be just a temporary home for Madi; she wanted to be her mom.

The social service worker had been wondering about Lexa’s absences as well, and that was something that worried Clarke. She couldn’t lose the girl. Not now that she was more than clear she wanted Madi to become her daughter.

This was a conversation that they were going to have once Lexa came back, hopefully for good, but Clarke didn’t dare to hope.

Clarke drove Madi to Abby’s place before heading to the address sent by Diyoza.

“Do you have everything you need, Madi?” Clarke asked the little girl as she pulled the seatbelt from her chair.

“Yup. I have my markers and reading books! This one was the one Lexa gifted me for Christmas!” Madi answered, showing Clarke the storybook with happiness. “Lexa promised to bring me more when she comes back.”  
Clarke smiled, hoping Lexa was true to her word. “I’ll be out for a couple of hours and then I’ll pick you up to go to Eden, okay?” She offered her hand to the little brunette and walked towards her old home.

“Okay,” Madi replied.

“Hey baby!” Abby opened the door, welcoming her daughter and Madi.

“Hi, mom. Thanks for watching Madi. I’m not sure how long I’ll be away but I’ll text you when I’m done to pick this munchkin.”

“I’m little Heda!” Madi clarified making both women laugh.

“Yes, you are. Now go with grandm- eer with Abby and be good.”

“Yes! Bye bye Clarke!” Madi took Abby's hand and both wave goodbye to the blonde.

Clarke’s heart was pumping hard just thinking of Madi calling Abby her grandma and becoming her kid. She knew this is exactly what she wanted and was going to make sure to add the request to social services once Lexa and her had ‘the talk.’

-oo-

After dropping Madi, Clarke drove with some jitters to the address Diyoza provided. Today she was going to have her interview. One that was about her and her art only.

This was something that animated Clarke, to have someone to recognize her for her talent alone.

She stopped at the assigned parking spot and headed into the offices of the current Polis Prime competitor, **Damocles Magazine**.

“Hi, I’m Clarke Griffin. I have an appointment today.”

The receptionist typed in her computer and Clarke waited patiently, looking around the lobby of the magazine. It was a different vibe for sure - dark colors on the walls, people entirely focused on their task and an eerie silence around; nothing like the more lively Polis office with their colors and bright smiles on the people walking around the cubicles. The chatter of the writers and photographers in the lobby or assistants moving as fast as they could go to bring what their bosses needed.

This place felt colder to Clarke’s artistic eye.

“Ah!” The woman brought back Clarke’s attention. “Yes, Ms. Griffin. According to my schedule here, you’re getting first a makeover. Let me announce you, one moment please.” The diligent woman made a phone call and announced Clarke through her headset.

“A makeover?” Clarke frowned. “I’m here for an interview.”

“Yes, but I have here the stylist appointment first.” The receptionist informed. “For the photoshoot?”

“Ah um, okay?”

Clarke waited a bit longer, feeling like a fish out of water, tapping her fingers on the reception desk.

“Clarke Griffin?” A black man with his head shaved appeared minutes later.

“Yes, Hi. I’m Clarke.”

The man extended his hand. “I’m Miles Ezekiel Shaw. Diyoza’s assistant. You can call me Zeke.”

Clarke frowned, shaking the hand offered. “Zeke Shaw? Wait, you’re the Zeke Raven dated?”

The brown eyes of the man locked with Clarke’s in recognition. “You know Raven Reyes?”

“Yeah, she’s a very close friend.”

Clarke began walking with the man towards the elevator.

“Small world. Here I thought Clarke was a guy and that Raven wanted nothing to do with me because of you.” He joked, pressing the button to their destination.

“We’re friends since school. I’m sorry things didn’t work out. She seemed so happy while you two dated.” Clarke offered as consolation.

He shrugged, “Raven is great but she holds herself back.”

The elevator dinged once they reached the proper floor. Zeke escorted Clarke towards another set of doors, letting Clarke inside once he pressed his keycard to the reader on the door.

“Tell her she deserves happiness. She doesn’t think she does, but she does.” That’s the last thing Zeke said before leaving Clarke.

“Hello Clarke!” Diyoza greeted. “Please sit down and let the team take care of you.”

“Um, so what are we doing today?” Clarke asked, moving to a chair in front of a mirror.

“We need to prep you for your photoshoot and then interview. I think you need a fresher look. More light and juvenile.”

“You think?” Clarke looked around as someone began to put a hair cape on her. “Woah, scissors? What exactly you mean by fresh?”

Diyoza laughed. “Relax, Clarke. Look, I think a haircut will do you good. Your hair is beautiful but I believe a styled bob will make you look more in tune with the bold art you propose. Would you like that?”

Clarke hummed, shrugging. “I guess? It’s been a while since I cut my hair.”

Diyoza rested her hand on her shoulder. “You’ll look really great, I promise.”

Soon the hairstylist began cutting her long tresses, and the blonde locks fell on the floor bit by bit. Clarke eased her shoulders and let the stylist work.

Minutes later she was staring at herself, with her blonde hair right above her shoulders.

“Fresh huh?” Clarke touched the shorter tips reaching up to her neck.

“Now let’s get you to wardrobe and get you something for the photo session.”

-oo-

“The shoot looked really great.” Diyoza said, offering Clarke a cup of coffee to rest after the artist had her shoot. “Like a total pro!”

“The photographer helped me a lot.” Clarke took a sip to ease her nerves.

“Okay, I’m going to record this interview to transcribe it to our magazine. I think that by summer we should be able to have a spot for your cover issue.”

“Alright.”

“Your art is exciting. Tell me more about your source of inspiration?”

“Ahm, I usually paint using my feelings. Depending on the mood, that’s how the canvas is going to be filled. The people around me serves me as motivation to do my art as well.”

“Aah, of course. Now, you’ve been in the art circle for some time. Your name is well known here in DC but not in other places. Tell us about your trajectory.”

“Well, it began when I was in high school…”

Clarke was feeling more at ease and spoke with more confidence. Sharing her beginnings and how Costia was the one to encourage her dreams and supported her in her professional development. Clarke was finally finding what that sensation of being in the spotlight was. Answering to the best of capacity and trying to show herself as an artist who was well versed in her area.

“Now,” Diyoza made a pause. “I know this might be something that might feel invasive, so don’t feel pressured to answer.”

Clarke creased her brows. A small tingling sensation began on her lower back, making her tense.

“You’re married to the writer and blogger Alexandria Woods. Does that cause you any pressure? Has this change the way you approach your art?”

And there it was, the questions that Clarke dreaded. At least, Diyoza was still focusing on her and not the oh so wonderful, Alexandria.

“I uh, I’m married to Lexa. Yes.” Clarke swallowed measuring her words. “I’ve been trying to keep my work independent of what she does. She writes and I paint. That’s all. I guess some fans think that their way to Lexa is through me and that is far from the truth.”

“I see. You two keep work apart. It makes sense considering how stressful it must be to be tied to Alexandria. She’s very private regarding her personal life and I get why you two wouldn’t be upfront with the press and social media. It must be exhausting.”

“Yes. The very first few years I had more trouble dealing with it, but now I’m at this stage of acceptance. I have no control over it and that’s fine”

“Azgeda published one of your first interviews out there and later you had a follow-up interview for Polis. It seems you and Alexandria have been front and center for quite a bit.”

“My wife wrote an investigative report that put us out there, and things were pretty hectic back then. I think that’s why she has been more closed off and I understand her need to keep us safe. She won’t share with the media or me things that she keeps close to her heart and I get it. I wished her fans got it too. That’s all I have to say about this.”

“Fine by me.” Diyoza smiled.

“Let’s talk about Paxton McCreary’s latest review. Your name was on top after the exhibit was held at Eligius. I was surprised you’re not well known outside DC, because you’re a real talent.”

“Mr. McCreary is harsh. One of the toughest but as my mentor and business partner said, all I had to do was continue to be true to myself.”

_________________

Lexa kept her steps steady after a gruesome weight-lifting session, the treadmill at medium speed, she was watching the video Anya sent her from their Christmas party. She was with the winners of the Polis promo that night whilst her family celebrated without her.

The writer was exhausted, not just from this workout but from the Alexandria promotion. The fans had been everywhere, and they demanded so much of her energy. It was so successful that it extended all the way to the end of January and February with a special Valentine’s with Alexandria.

She just wanted to be in her room and not give a damn about anything else, but her sense of duty always stopped her from giving up.

Her people needed her. The magazine depended on her success to being sold. It was what she had to do. At least, that’s what she repeated herself over and over.

She stopped the machine and stashed her cellphone into her shorts pocket, sensing the heaviness of eyes on her back. Lexa removed her earbuds and when she turned around, she was met with a couple of young women, probably mid-twenties.

Lexa sighed.

She grabbed her towel and wiped her face before removing herself from the treadmill.

“Hi,” Lexa said with a tight smile and making her way out of the hotel gym.

“Oh Alexandria!” One of the chicks said. “Sorry to bother but um, we’ve been waiting so long to see you.”

“I appreciate it, but maybe you should wait for the official meetings? Nice meeting you, though.” Lexa replied curtly.

“Can we have a pic?”

“Eeeh, look, I just finished my workout. I’m sorry.” Lexa offered as an apology. “I’m a bit tired and I wouldn’t feel comfortable in these clothes posing for fan pictures. I hope you understand.”

“Ah ok, that’s cool. Nice to see you!”

Lexa gave a court nod and made her way to the elevator, trying to get some alone time. Fans could be a bit too much to handle sometimes. When she was in Boston, a fan managed to get a keycard to her room. To say that Lexa almost had a heart attack when the girl appeared out of nowhere in a bathrobe was not an exaggeration.

During her fan meetup in Denver, the fans were pushing so much the barrier that they ended up toppling and causing a bit of a disturbance, getting hurt in the process when Lexa tried to help.

In summary, stans were a bit too much right now for Lexa.

As soon as she reached her bedroom she went for a hot shower, trying to remove the grime and sweat. After her muscles stopped aching, she finally walked out.

She wiped the fogged mirror with her left hand, and looked at her reflection. Lexa looked thoughtfully at the face looking her back. The bags under her eyes were pretty noticeable on her pale face. Her green eyes looked dim, blending in a mix of green and greys. Her hair more wavy than usual, resting over her right shoulder.

“Who are you anymore?” Lexa asked the reflection and moved to her bed.

She looked at the ceiling as she did every night. Her hand roaming over the cold sheets, she closed her eyes and she could almost feel the warmth of Clarke on her fingertips.

_Almost._

Her muscles had been worked so hard tonight that she managed to sleep some minutes later. Reason why she kept a rigorous schedule of training at night. It was the only way her head stopped making so much noise and her heart didn’t drown in despair.

At 7am, her alarm woke her up. She sat on the bed slowly and read the text messages and emails she had.

She scrolled quickly, checking if there was an email that required immediate attention before confirming Titus that she had all her flight information ready to go back home. She sent him a quick text and promised to call him as soon as she landed.

She missed her friends and family very much. And yet, things were very different with Clarke. Lexa knew that all this time apart probably made things worse between them.

The brunette squeezed her eyes, rubbing her temples trying to keep away the impending headache.

_Clarke._

They haven't been talking, much less texting. Communication was at best a 3.5 out of 10. Lexa had the intention to do it as soon as she saw her wife again.

-oo-

But as Samuel Johnson stated, ‘Hell is paved with good intentions.’ Her house was empty - no spouse or child around, and therefore she just postponed the talk seeing that Clarke was probably at Eden. Putting it once more in the backburner.

Lexa unpacked her things and feeling the emptiness like a void eating her up, Lexa decided to head to the magazine HQ to see what was the status of their finances considering how much time she spent promoting their new website and brand.

She changed clothes into her thick snow jacket, gloves and beanie, seeing through her window the white blanket covering the streets. 

Once she was ready to go, Lexa grabbed her keys to drive towards her office and hope for the best.

  
  
  


“Good day, Maya!” Lexa greeted her secretary as she walked to her office, removing from her coat some snow.

“Oh, Ms. Woods! I didn’t think you were coming today since you um,” Maya checked her watch, “You arrived just three hours ago.”

“I’d like to speak with Gaia, send her to my office, please. Thanks.”

Lexa removed her heavy jacket and gloves, hanging it on the perch beside her des once she made the trail to her office. Lexa turned on her laptop, remove her beanie and fixed her hair in a messy bun while her laptop booted.

_KNOCK KNOCK_

“Lexa?” Gaia peeked through the door. “Oh my! I swore Maya was joking when she told me you were here.”

“Come in, Gaia. I was hoping to catch up with work as soon as possible.” Lexa typed her password.

_Clexa307GriffinWoods._

“I assumed you wanted to know our current status.” Gaia walked into the spacious office, the click of her heels resonating in the polish marble floor and sat in front of Lexa. Offering a folder with a summary of their last year’s numbers.

Lexa reclined in her chair, checking the documents that Gaia offered.

“Can you give me the TLDR?”

“We had a good closure for the last trimester of the year. The holiday edition sold out-”

“That’s great!”

“But!”

But?” Lexa cocked her head, arching her brows.

“There was a situation at the end of the year, which has us in a difficult spot. Josephine will it explain to you. She’s on her way.”

Lexa shook her head. “Gaia, you’re kidding. Difficult spot? We’ve been on a difficult spot for most of the last year. That’s why I agreed to do the promo for the magazine!”

Gaia nodded. “Yeah, that was the goal. To boost the sales and close the year in green numbers and-”

“Lexa?” at that moment, Josephine made her appearance. “It’s so wonderful to see you back! You did an amazing job. Your ads were a hit and let’s not even talk about the new subscriptions you got us.”

“That’s what I don’t understand, Josephine. Why aren’t we out of the hole yet if my holiday campaign - which according to you - was what Polis needed?”

Josephine took the chair next to Gaia, crossing her legs she leaned an elbow in one of the armrests.

“After your incredible job, we managed to get the results I was hoping for. Last trimester we saw an increase in hard copy sales and the subscription on the website went up as well. However, the issue is the operative expenses.” Josephine revealed, before moving into the real issue.

“We were opening the online international subscription option on January 1st, seeing that our magazine has a good export number. The idea was to capitalize and give something affordable to the readers that cannot afford a physical copy in other countries. The website crashed and the servers died on us that day. We spent the first weeks of January trying to put it back online. We did with a massive investment creating new debt, but it’s barely holding as it is. The thing is we need to upgrade the whole system and that’s a ton of money we don’t have right now. Obviously, we might lose subscribers to Damocles while we struggle with the technical issues unless we keep Alexandria at the front while we do all the renovations to our digital platform.”

“I don’t think I can handle another tour so soon, Josephine.”

Lexa swallowed hard; this was not what she wanted to hear when she made her way back to her office. She licked her dry lips thinking of anything to save the magazine. Lexa ran her fingers through her scalp, trying to ease the anxiety that was building within her skull.

“What are we going to do? I don’t think we can get a loan, do we?”

“Right now we need to close the smallest departments and reorganize the staff. I’ll be traveling to discuss sponsorship with some brands that called showing interest in Alexandria. I secured some more interviews and photoshoots for Alexandria but they are for the spring and summer. Also, I discussed with Gaia the opportunity to launch the magazine in Spanish to expand our readership, but I still need to sit down and talk the deets with the CFO and the rest of the team and see if we can adapt.”

“Can we even afford that?”

“It’s a gamble right now, Lexa. It will depend on how you tighten the reins in here while I get us the sponsorships to expand and get that extra income that Alexandria can’t provide us alone.”

“The idea was to maintain the staff as it is. I can’t keep laying off more collaborators. That’s why I did all the promotion. To protect my people!” Lexa was on the verge of a meltdown, and this wasn’t close to what her expectations were after her work promoting Polis.

“I know Lexa, but we need to find a way to bring more money.” Josephine pointed out again.  
“If we close more departments the rest of the staff will have more work. We’re stretching them thin as it is!” Lexa hit her desk completely frustrated. “There has to be another way!”

“Look, Lexa.” Gaia intervened, “Polis recovery will take time. It’s not going to happen in 6 months or a year. Right now we’re building a solid and loyal audience with your column, but as Josephine said, we need something else. The idea to offer the magazine in another language is a great way to begin.”

“Some sacrifices have to be made. We shut down some areas and we keep everything flowing as best as we can with the budget we have for the first trimester of this year, or hundreds will lose their job.” Josephine concluded.

Lexa laced her fingers together, resting them on the desk.

Time.

Polis needed time, but to give Polis time she had to give her own in return.

“I know you’re under a lot of stress. We all are.” Josephine reached for Lexa’s hand, resting her own over the brunette’s. “I’ll deal with this; you just keep the boat afloat here. You’ll have to be of course, on top of things and use all the Polis team to keep the content in competition with Damocles and other magazines as well. You’re the commander, Lexa.”

Lexa looked at Josephine’s hand on hers. After a light squeeze, Josephine let go.

“Polis won’t fall. Just get us what we need to get out of this crisis and I’ll do my part. If I have to become Alexandria full time, so be it.”

Lexa was determined not to lose this place. Hundreds depended on this magazine to keep running and she wasn’t going to abandon her people.

Not now. Not ever.

______________

“Yes, that’s an excellent choice. Niylah here will take care of all the details for the delivery.” Clarke said to the latest client to stop by Eden.

She left the client with Niylah and returned to her office. Things have been moving a bit around since her debut in Eligius. Their Eden Holiday Exhibition was also a hit and now they were preparing the spring collection exhibit, trying to garner more works from other artists to expand Eden into one of the top galleries in the city, maybe in the whole state.

In short, Clarke was finding finally the attention she deserved for her work. Costia was getting calls for interviews with Clarke and more art commissions that she had to make a waiting list.

For Clarke, being recognized for her art pieces was by far her greatest accomplishment. Clarke was seeing her effort pay off after years of trying to remove herself from the shadow of Alexandria Woods.

“I’m not sure if I can make the trip since my priority right now is Madi, Cos.” Clarke was reading the invitation to the SFMOMA to bring her art for their spring exhibition next month.

“It would be great if you could assist to the inauguration Clarke. I’m sure Lexa can take care of Madi for a couple of days.” Costia insisted knowing well this was a fantastic opportunity.

“Trust me Costia, there is nothing more exciting than for me to be right there, but I don’t think Lexa can handle it.”

Costia facepalmed. “Clarke, don’t be ridiculous! Lexa is more than capable of taking care of Madi.”

“If she was home, maybe, but she’s been traveling meeting her fans and I have no clue if Josephine will keep sending my wife away by that date,” Clarke flopped in her chair frustrated. “I know that she’s working to keep the magazine open, but sometimes I feel that she prefers staying in her office than coming home.”

Costia shook her head incredulously. “Clarke, are you even listening to yourself? Lexa is your wife. She cares about you very much and would do anything for that little girl! Right now she is traveling but if you tell her in advance, I know she’ll make the time.”

“You’re taking her side?”

“What? Costia was going to rip her hair out of grievance. “Look, this isn’t about taking sides. It’s about being rational and you’re irrational right now. All you need to do is talk to her and plan accordingly.”

Clarke sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk to her, just give me the dates. We have time.”

“Okay, I’ll keep the response for now. Just make sure to talk, okay?” Costia left Clarke’s office to continue her work.

Clarke decided that right now was the perfect time to finish some pieces that she wanted to send to the spring exhibit while she cleared her head.

Things at home have been tense to say the least. Costia said it was better to talk, but that was the problem. Clarke couldn’t talk to Lexa because that was a recipe for disaster.

Every time one of them started a conversation, things got out of hand and both said hurtful things.

They did everything they could to keep Madi out of their personal problems, to keep the girl happy and safe. Madi was their little beacon of hope, but not the answer to their marital issues. The love they have for Madi was a different kind of love. The love that Clarke had for Lexa was just as grand in the way a woman can love her significant other, but right now it was flickering and dimming like a damaged bulb that needed replacement.

That was the problem.

How do you replace that bulb when there was no proper communication?

  
  


After hours of venting her feelings into a canvas, Clarke, satisfied with her work, decided it was more than acceptable. She washed her hands and brushes, heading next to her office to begin her return home.

Clarke made sure to send the last emails to her clients when a sudden scream made her jump on her chair.

Costia came running inside her office at lightning speed.

“Costia, what’s the commotion?” Clarke eyed Costia wearily, seeing that her friend was breathless.

“Clarke,” Costia gulped down, and tried to catch her breath. “Oh my God!”  
“Do you need water? What’s going on?” Clarke was starting to get concerned for her mentor.

“You’re not going to believe this. I just, I got off the phone and oh wow...”  
“Costia, you’re scaring the shit out of me. What’s up?”

“You’ve been selected for showcasing your work at the Tate!”

“WHAT!? No fucking way.”

Costia nodded quickly. “Yes, it’s real. I just got off the phone and you’re one of the new international talents selected for the Tate Modern in London to exhibit this summer!”

It was like a chill covered Clarke’s body. “You’re kidding. They’re displaying Steve McQueen; also Andy Warhol and they want me?”

“YES!!!”

Clarke began jumping and screaming. Costia joined Clarke and the two of them celebrated with such a noise that they made Niylah check on them.

“Woah, I’m going to have to focus on this exhibit right now. Holy crap! Are you sure it is not a mistake?” Clarke asked.

“I told you I got an email and a call for confirmation. They heard about your name and when they saw your work, they read some interviews and probably got interested now that Damocles posted your piece.”

“Shit, this is huuuuuuge!”

“This is everything, Clarke.” Costia agreed.

“This needs a celebration. Let me grab Madi and we can all go to grab some lunch!”

“Hey, Madi.” Clarke went to the workshop where the little brunette was entertaining herself with her sketchbook. “I got awesome news and we’re going to go to lunch. Pick your things and let’s go!”

“Wait. Almost done.” The girl said quickly, adding more red to her drawing. “Ready!” Madi was smiling her toothy grin with pride. “A welcome gift for Heda!”

Clarke’s smile vanished as she walked behind Madi. “Welcome?” Clarke mumbled as she checked the calendar on the wall, marking February 20th. “Oh God.”

Madi waited with bated breath Clarke’s appreciation of her drawing. Lifting her sketchbook higher to let Clarke see, seeing that the blonde didn’t react to her work.

“Oh, that’s amazing! Lexa is going to love it.” Clarke quickly eased the kid’s questioning look, making her smile brightly.

“Yes?” Madi asked.

“Guaranteed.” Clarke ruffled her hair. Now pack your things and wait for me in the lobby while I finish here.”

“Okay.” Madi shut her sketchbook and put it inside her little raccoon backpack along with her coloring books and pencils.

Clarke returned to her office like a zombie, flabbergasted.

“I forgot.” Clarke checked her phone, but there were her standard texts from Raven and Octavia. Nothing from Lexa.

“Clarke, we also got confirmation from Ark U about your special seminar to the students next Monday. Are you and Madi ready?” Costia noticed Clarke’s lack of response and approached. “Clarke?”

Clarke lifted her sight, still in shock. “I forgot, Costia.”

Costia leaned her head clearly lost. “The seminar? You still have time to prepare and review the material.”

Clarke shook her head. “No. It’s Lexa.”  
Costia was more confused seeing the lack of connection between Lexa and the art seminar. “I’m not following.”

“Lexa returned today from her Polis Holiday thingy and I completely forgot!” Clarke finally looked at Costia, realizing her situation. “The last thing I heard was from Josephine, telling me Lexa had to extend her travel due to massive commitments and changed her date to return today. I completely erased that information from my mind.”

“Clarke, you’ve been hands full. It probably escaped your mind for a sec-”  
“No, no, no.” Clarke cringed lowering her head in shame. “I seriously didn’t remember, Costia. I was so angry that I just blocked everything about Alexandria and I forgot about my wife coming back today. If it wasn't for Madi… What does that tell you about us, Costia? I feel awful.”

Costia reached to console Clarke, squeezing her arm softly to ground her. “Clarke, don’t worry. Lexa won’t get mad or anything. It happens, okay? Go home and celebrate with your family. No harm done. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Congrats Clarke!” Costia smiled warmly before going back to her office.

Clarke went to look for Madi and bid farewell to Niylah. It was time to go home and see her wife after almost two months of not seeing her, considering how few texts she sent, she might as well talk to her for the first time in eons.

She needed to talk to Lexa about Madi too. Her last meeting with the social worker had been positive, more reason to discuss her desire to adopt Madi and give the little girl a family.

_A home._

Lexa promised that she was done traveling. Clarke wanted to trust her wife. Maybe this year things were going to be different and be better for all of them.

Clarke removed all the negative feelings and doubts she had and helped Madi inside her car before she drove them back home.

-oo-

Clarke opened the door, allowing Madi inside first before following inside, dropping her keys into the bowl, helped Madi removed her coat and hung it next to hers. Clarke was about to head to her bed when the little squeal of Madi startled her.

“LEXAAAAA!” Madi dropped her backpack and ran towards Lexa, who was in the kitchen.

Lexa kneeled and opened her arms to welcome the little brunette.

Clarke observed from a distance how Madi launched herself into the strong arms of the older brunette.

“You’re here!” Madi was excited.

“Yes, I am! I told you I’d be back soon.” Lexa pushed a wild lock off from the face of the small girl.

“I did like you asked. I kept Clarke in good company!” Madi grinned proudly of her achievement.

“Of course you did little Heda. You did such a great job!” Lexa said as she stood up. “Go wash your hands while I finish here with dinner, okay?”

Madi nodded and skipped to the restroom.

And then, Lexa eyed her. Her green eyes locked into her blue. How that smoldering look made her weak on the knees to this day was a mystery.

Clarke gulped down the nerves she was feeling. Which was stupid because she has been living with this woman for over a decade, yet the energy between them was so different. It was not the intense, crackling energy that tended to flow between them. No. It was a subtle crackle, a barely-there spark that hinted at uncertainty.

Lexa kept her gaze on Clarke. She remained in her spot. Not breaching in any way the distance that existed between them.

“Hello, Clarke.” Lexa greeted with a small, shy smile.

“Hi, Lexa. Umm, it’s ah, I’m glad you arrived safely.” Clarke had to roll her eyes internally. That was so lame. Impersonal.

“Yeah...” Lexa was as lost as her it seemed. “You cut your hair!?”

“Aaah sure. Fresh style.” Clarke wasn’t going to mention it was courtesy of Charmaine Diyoza. That was a _terrible_ idea.

Lexa took a step closer; hypnotized, by the way she was lost in Clarke’s eyes. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” Clarke hid her blush lowering her chin a bit embarrassed by the compliment.

“Umm,” Lexa tried to fill the awkward silence now. “I uh, well. Madi looks really good.”

Change of topic. Yes. Safe bet.

“Oh yeah. In last month’s meeting the social worker was very pleased with her progress and how well she has adapted. Madi also began at TonDC Elementary right after the winter break ended. So far so good. She’s still very wary to open up with her classmates but everything is just recent so…”

“That’s great! She’s a brilliant kid and will do fine.” Lexa focused her attention back into the stove, shutting it off.

“Sorry I missed the meetings. I know how important they are for you, Clarke.”

“You were working. I understand.” Clarke left her things in the living room and went to help Lexa setting the table.

They both did their chores in silence and Clarke hated how weird it was. The feeling that they were walking on eggshells was stronger than ever. One wrong word and World War III could explode in their living room.

“Ready!” Madi moved to her chair.

“One second.” Lexa moved the pot and poured a generous amount of pasta for Madi.

“Mac n Cheese. YAY!” Madi celebrated, making Lexa giggle.

“Hope you like it. I made it thinking of you, Mads.” Lexa finished serving the dishes and sat to eat as well.

“Tell me about your school. I heard you’re doing super well!” Lexa asked Madi.

Madi licked her lips and once the girl began talking, there was no stopping her.

After the girl finished with her very detailed explanation about how Jordan, a classmate of hers, picks up his nose during art class, Clarke considered it was the right time to drop her bomb.

“Girls,” Clarke said calling the attention of Lexa and Madi. “I got a call today from the Tate Modern in London. They want me to exhibit my work in the summer!”  
Madi frowned not quiet understanding the importance.

“Wow, that’s amazing Clarke. I’m very happy for you.” Lexa congratulated her with a kind smile that made Clarke’s heart skip a beat or two.

“Yeah, but um, the thing is I’m gonna need your help with Madi, Lexa.”

“Right, of course.” Lexa replied. “Just tell your mother to drop her in my office after school.”

“Really?” Madi stood up. Eyes glinting with excitement. “I’ll be with Lexa in her tower?”

Lexa chuckled, “Yes. You’ll be stuck with me little Heda.”

“Yaaaaayyy.”

The little girl began another rant of all the things she was going to do with Lexa.

Clarke let Madi be the buffer that they both needed, because of how awkward it was with the two of them alone.

The distance, the lack of words, it was a hole that was deepening slowly, as the pieces fell one by one—the Jenga tower in real danger of falling with one wrong movement.

However, right now was not the time to deal with it.

Instead, Clarke kept quiet, listening to Madi putting Lexa up to date with all her plans.

-oo-

After leaving Madi set up for the night, she took a quick hot shower and changed into her pajamas. She moved to her side of the bed and turned her night lamp on to read for a bit.

Meanwhile, Lexa was on her dresser finishing on removing her sweater after returning from Madi’s room for their storytime. Clarke peeked over her tablet and noticed the dark bags under Lexa’s eyes with more clarity now. Also Lexa looked like she lost some weight. Not much, but her collarbones seemed more prominent or at least that’s what Clarke perceived.

The silence was deafening. Usually, they were capable of being in silence without feeling like they were drowning.

“I ah, I liked your latest pictures,” Clarke commented nonchalantly. Lighter topics were the way to go right now.

Lexa looked over her shoulder, while she removed her belt and unzipped her pants. “Really?” Lexa perked her brow knowingly.

”I mean, the solo ones. Not the one with those chicks all around you.”

Lexa snorted, “Same.”

After a beat, “I heard good things about your exhibit at Eligius. I was following very close the Instagram feed of @EdenGallery.”

“It went really well,” Clarke replied shortly.

“Yeah…” Lexa eyed Clarke thoughtfully. “Clarke listen. I get you need your own time to do your art, but things in Polis haven’t improved as I expected. I’m going to be just as busy and I swear I’ll help with Madi, but I need you to back me up when I can’t.”

“Of course, Lexa. I understand. I do hope this arrangement works because I want Madi to be _ours_. She deserves a good home and she’s very happy. What do you think?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes, licking her lips as she analyzed and thought about what Clarke was proposing.

“I’d love that. Madi is a wonderful kid and I’d like her to be part of our family. We can discuss this with the social worker at the next meeting. I’ll be there, Clarke.”

“Okay. That’s good. Really good.”

Lexa moved to the bathroom to shower next, since their conversation was apparently over.

Clarke left out the breath easing the tension she felt in her belly.

_This is ridiculous! It’s Lexa!_

Clarke left her reading device back into her night table and leaned into her pillow and laced her fingers over her belly.

_I can have a normal conversation with my wife, for fuck’s sake! Woman up, Clarke._

But after Lexa came out of her hot shower, Clarke just remained mum.

Lexa moved to her side, getting inside the blankets and turning her night lamp off.

Seeing that Lexa was ready to sleep, Clarke turned her own lamp off and stared at the ceiling.

Her wife was finally on their bed and Clarke didn’t move a bone. After crying herself to sleep during the absence of her wife, this was the time to reconnect, but she was static as a rock.

Lexa’s breathing was tense, far from relaxing to sleep.

This was only one night of the many more that would come, where the two of them went to bed as if a stranger was between the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, I have to really apologize for the lack of updates. Please be patient, trying to get things sorted as fast as I can. If you're still around, I want to thank you for your support and infinite patience.  
To my Team Lexa or Team Clarke readers, hope you enjoy what I have dropped so far.
> 
> Hope to drop something for you soon enough; stay safe, drink water and enjoy!
> 
> Tana xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clexa are soulmates friends! The greatest love of Clarke's life is Lexa kom Trikru.  
It has been a wild ride friends, lots of hurt and pain along the way but Alycia did what she could to soothe some of it. I assure you I'll do my best to continue to provide a world were these two soulmates meet again and finally can have their maybe someday in life. Fuck Jason and Clexa is ours!  
Now without further ado, the chapter you were waiting for!

“Yup, after that night things never went back to the way they were.” Clarke eyed the raccoon going deeper into the trash can. “With the plan of adopting Madi I thought that we could put our energy into her adoption and just coexist as best as we could. But…” Clarke shrugged. “I was mistaken. Things went downhill really fast from there and if I try being unbiased? I can’t put all the blame on Lexa. Yay me for being mature enough to admit it.” Clarke chuckled.

The raccoon moved out from the trash can making some whiny sounds as it eyed Clarke with a certain suspicion before it moved onto the next one.

“Relax, Lexacoon. I’m not blaming you.” Clarke began chipping dirt from her nails, as she gathered her thoughts. “Anyway, the rest of my story is more of the same for the next few months. It became a toxic cycle of just sleep, eat, work, and going back to bed. Lexa was working hard in Polis and I was painting like I was possessed. We were so disconnected from one another that it was painful to try to hang out with both of us.”

“You see, I’m certain that the event that changed things was McCreary in my last summer exhibit. I had his critique stuck in my head and he reinforced my worthlessness by being there. Costia was fucking right but I, of course, didn’t listen to her. I was so desperate to be someone professionally that I neglected everyone and after going back to London last week, I realized that it didn’t make me happy. Not saying it was a waste of time. Not at all. I actually did pretty well. I was supposed to be jumping with happiness but what was the point when my wife looks at me like I’m not the person she fell in love with?”

The raccoon made a deep growling noise.

“But that wasn’t the worst, no. You wanna know what was the straw that broke the camel’s back? The reason why I’m here trying to figure things out?”

The raccoon ignored her and jumped straight into another trash bin.

“I knew not telling Lexa about my Damocles print was a big mistake. I was expecting my cover to be launched back in June, but since Diyoza heard of the Tate she said she was going to accommodate the launch to include an exclusive report from London. Therefore, come September, things went to hell...”

________________

Lexa had been working harder than ever. Days and nights in meetings and making calls every hour, trying to keep Polis from sinking. There were new debts that needed to be paid and there was a lot of concern amongst her staff as well, seeing that by the end of their first few months some of the staff had to be laid off to keep afloat.

“I understand your concerns. I’ve been where you are and it’s not a good feeling.” Lexa said to her heads of department, trying to give them some peace of mind. “Polis is struggling. I know you’ve done everything we have asked of you and still things don’t seem to be improving. It was hard enough to let go of some of you, but it had to be done. A decision that I executed with pain in my heart.” Lexa set her jaw, trying to remain strong in the face of the judgement and lack of trust form her people. Being the commander they needed. She stood up with her spine straight, her neck and chin up, a figure of respect and authority.

“I understand what you’re saying, Lexa. However, our staff are doing what they can with the budget we currently have and they are under a lot of pressure to deliver on time. If we could slow down a bit it would be great.” Ryder commented very worriedly.

“And I appreciate everything they’ve done, Ryder. During this difficult time, our people are out doing their best to provide the content we need to keep surviving. I believe that we will get through this, but we have to sacrifice some more, so in the future, everyone can be more comfortable and secure with their jobs.”

“Secure?” An angry voice interrupted the meeting, almost knocking down the doors. “What future you’re talking about when you just fired all my team. I don’t have any way to support my wife and sons thanks to you!”

Maya was behind the angry man a bit shaken. “I’m so sorry Ms. Woods, he wouldn’t listen and forced his way here but security is on its way!”

“Semet, mind your tongue. This isn’t the place!” Ryder stood up clearly concerned about the current situation.

“Semet. You were highly compensated and it’s more than enough to sustain you and your family for months while you look for a new job. Polis can’t afford more staff right now. I made this decision thinking about what was the best for a majority of people. I hope you understand.” Lexa replied calmly, hoping to diffuse some of the anger in the man.

“I don’t understand how you can talk about a future when you committed an injustice! I won’t accept it and you’ll pay for what you did!!!”

Semet suddenly pulled something from his boot and ran straight up to Lexa screaming in rage.

Lexa widened her eyes and stood there watching how Semet approached her ready to stab her to death, causing chaos in the meeting room.

Her only thoughts were not of fear of dying, but of leaving behind Clarke and Madi.

Ryder jumped in front of her at the last second, tackling Semet down. The huge photographer managed to get ahold of the blade throwing it to the side while forcing the man to stay down.

After a tense few minutes security arrived and cuffed Semet taking him away.

“Holy shit! Are you okay?” Ryder eyed Lexa from head to toe, making sure she wasn’t hurt.

“I’m okay, thank you Ryder.” Lexa sat down on the nearest chair feeling her lungs constricting her breathing. A bit shaken after such a violent attack.

It’s been years since she had to face a dangerous situation like today, which left her a bit shaken.

“Lexa!?” Gaia came quickly followed by the security team, who took control of the situation right away. “I heard what happened and came as soon as possible. Anybody hurt?”

“We’re good. Um, let’s get back to work people! The boss needs some time alone and we have no time to be slacking!” Ryder said to his co-workers. “Polis' next edition won’t write itself. Come on!”

“Thanks Ryder.” Gaia offered a thankful smile and dragged a chair to sit next to Lexa.

“I’ve been doing what I thought was best for the magazine, Gaia. Yet, I seemed to keep failing over and over.” Lexa spoke feeling like the weight on her shoulders just tripled.

“Lexa, that man came seeking revenge for a situation that was out of our hands. This isn’t your fault. You’re always early and the last to leave every single day. You’re reading thousands of articles daily plus writing your column. These people are lucky to have you as their boss, someone who works shoulder to shoulder with them. Someone who cares that everyone gets proper compensation, and all their basic needs fulfilled and yet you can’t please everybody.”

“Josephine is-”

“No!” Gaia cut Lexa. “Josephine puts most of the money to keep running the magazine, but she’s always into something else. She doesn’t care for Polis. You do.”

“I’m tired, Gaia. All I want is for Polis to flourish but nothing seems to go my way.”

“Yes, the beginning of this year was awful for us, but you’ve been putting so much effort railing everyone to work hard and we’re slowly recovering. I know that patience is running thin but you heard the CFO’s report last month. We need to keep this rhythm just a tad longer and we’ll close with our best numbers ever by the end of the year.” Gaia offered a hopeful smile. “Are you going to press charges? I should call our lawyers and set-”

Lexa raised her hand stopping Gaia. “No, I just want to forget today. I’m going to wait for Abby to bring Madi from school and then I’m taking her to relax in the mall. I don’t want her to hear how I was about to get stabbed to death. You know that there’s always going to be some gossip in the office.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Lexa returned to her office to grab her things and go back home. Maybe a good night’s sleep is all she needed.

“Lexaaaaaa,” Madi ran towards Lexa hugging her legs tightly, making her lose her balance for a second.

“Hey pumpkin!” Lexa hugged her tight. “Hello, Abby.”

“Hello to my favorite daughter in law.” Abby said, leaving Madi’s backpack on the desk. “Here’s all of Madi’s stuff. Are you going to stay late, do I need to send Clarke to pick her up after she leaves Eden?”

“Actually no. I’m leaving right now and taking little Heda to the mall to eat some delicious ice cream.”

Madi opened her eyes wide as saucers. “Yesssss. I like ice cream.”

“Alright!” Abby eyed Lexa before she departed. “Are you okay? You seem...” Abby made a vague hand movement not finding a word to describe the writer.

Lexa cleared her throat. “I’m good. Just tired.”

Abby narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Madi? Can you go with uncle Ryder and show him your newest pictures? I need to speak with Lexa.”

Lexa sighed; it was pretty hard to hide from the older Griffin.

“Okay!” Madi opened her backpack and pulled out an envelope with the pictures she had been taking on her walks to the park with Lexa on the weekends and ran towards Ryder’s cubicle.

“Lexa. How are you? It’s just you and me here, no need to keep up appearances.” Abby asked as she sat in front of Lexa’s desk. 

Lexa sat down as well, knowing that this was serious talk.

“Really?” Lexa chuckled, “I imagined that your daughter must have kept you up to date.”

“Yes she did, but that’s not what I’m asking. I want to know about you. You look really pale, I’d dare to say you even lost some weight.” Abby insisted.

“I’m fine.”

Abby was the one chuckling now. “Lexa, come on. You’re like a daughter to me and I’m here to do the mom job. Talk to me, honey.”

Lexa swallowed hard.

“I- you shouldn’t bother. I don’t want you to get into a fight with Clarke because of me.” Lexa lowered her gaze, feeling how her throat started to constrict.

“My daughter is too stubborn, sometimes too much for her own good. She can handle her shit for a little longer. I want you to talk to me in confidence, Lexa. I can tell your parents did a lousy job being your parents, but I’m here for you.” Abby reached for Lexa’s hand, taking it and holding it tight.

“Yeah. Being the spawn of Satan and the most disgusting daughter that wouldn’t change her sinful lifestyle does that to you.” Lexa deflated on the chair. “I learned early on to deal with my problems, Abby. I swear there’s no need for you to be here.”

“And I insist, Lexa. You’re not alone anymore. You have a family that loves you and that includes me.” Abby scolded. “I’m here. Even if you prefer to remain silent, I’m still going to be here to hold you. I’m sorry I kept my distance for too long. I was hoping you and my adamant daughter could talk things out. Looking in from the outside is pretty painful.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Things just,” Lexa shrugged, “I felt overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do to make things right. Clarke doesn’t want to listen to me and when she does it’s always to blame me for things I can’t control.”

“Okay, sweetheart. This is the first step, finding out what the problem is; now you listen to me and I hope I can offer some guidance...”

-oo-

After talking with Abby Lexa had to admit, she felt lighter. Sharing her issues with the good doctor was pretty cathartic and shed some light on how to tackle things.

It was not the same as sharing her issues with Anya. Anya was her sister, her best friend in the whole world. The only person that stood up for her, that kept her safe when she was just a 14 year old. Anya has been through hell for her and kept her sane during the difficult years, whilst she lived with her very conservative Christian, right-wing, homophobic parents.

Anya was and would always be her person, but Abby had a different perspective that allowed Lexa to open her horizon.

Madi pulled Lexa’s hand taking her out of her thoughts. The girl was pointing towards the ice cream shop seeing that they already arrived.

“Okay, kiddo. Let’s get your ice cream!” Lexa headed inside the ice cream parlor and Madi ran right away to the ice cream selection.

“Choco, choco!” Madi sing sang.

“One chocolate cup please.” Lexa paid and once she got the cup she gave it to the excited girl who didn’t waste time before munching the ice cream.

Lexa guided Madi towards one of the available tables and sat with the kid. The local ice cream parlor luckily was pretty small and cozy. Small round tables scattered around in a colorful setting that made it look as if the ice cream was lots of fun.

The few patrons had kids of their own, dealing with their own messes. It made Lexa smile.

Her phone rang taking Lexa out of her reverie.

**Anya:** wtf, someone tried to murder you? Lex, why didn't you tell me? u hurt?

_Yes, Anya. I’m hurt but not by the blade of Semet._ Lexa thought, rolling her eyes. She began typing a quick response back.

**LexaGW:** It was no big deal. I’m ok.

**Anya: **I worry.

**LexaGW: **Who told you?

Lexa thought for a few seconds, and chuckled.

**LexaGW**: never mind. Indra did. Gaia told her and of course you gossips talked about it in school.

**Anya: **yup, otherwise u wouldn’t have told me shit. if things get crazy pls let me know. love u.

“Is it Clarke?” Madi asked, taking another spoon of ice cream.

“No, it was Anya.”

“Aunty Anya? I want to play pirates with her again!”

Lexa arched her brow. “Anya played pirates with you?”

“Yes! When I was waiting for Abby, Anya was watching me. I was bored and she told me a story. We played to recreate the story. It was lots of fun!”

“That’s interesting. I had no idea Anya had it in her. You finish your ice cream, Madi. It’s melting really fast.”

Madi returned her full attention to her cup. Messily licking the ice cream, getting more and more around her face and hands.

“I’m done!” Madi showed her empty cup really proud of herself.

“Good work. I bet if I got you a pint you’d eat it in a minute, kid. Let me wipe your sticky hands and we can head back home.”

Lexa grabbed some napkins and began the labor of cleaning the mess that Madi was. Her cheeks were covered with chocolate and her hands were as sticky and messy.

“Okay, let’s get going!” Lexa offered her hand and continued their walk around the mall.

Lexa could see that some people recognized her, she squeezed Madi’s hand and kept walking at a faster pace to avoid any unwanted attention.

Lexa didn’t want Alexandria to take the attention of her little source of pride. It had been a difficult balance, to keep this person who she wasn’t for the sake of Polis and being herself.

Sometimes Lexa had to question who she really was. People knew Alexandria, but did they even know who Lexa was?

“It’s Clarke!” Madi shouted, pulling from Lexa’s jacket to call her attention.

“What?” Lexa looked around. “Where?”

“There!” Madi let go of Lexa’s hand and went out like a flash.

“Madi!” Lexa ran after the girl moving swiftly towards the showcase of a library. “Hold up!”

“Look!” Madi was pointing at the showcase.

Lexa arrived a second later steadying her breathing from the sudden scare of the girl getting lost in the mall.

“Madi please don’t do that ever again. You can’t just go off running like that!” Lexa scolded.

Madi lowered her head and pouted. And Lexa knew she was done for. That pout was a secret weapon and Madi knew how to use it.

Lexa knelt to be eye level with the girl.

“Sweetheart, I’m not mad at you. I was very worried that something might have happened to you. Next time we can walk together, okay? Just don’t get too excited and we can check things out. Okay?”

Madi nodded. “Okay.”

“Good,” Lexa kissed Madi’s head and stood up. “What is it you wanted to show me?”

“Look! It’s Clarke.” Madi pointed again to the showcase.

Lexa turned around to try to see what the girl was looking for. She thought maybe it was some art that Madi recognized but Lexa noticed that it was a shelf with Polis Magazine September issue and right on its side was Damocles.

“What the…” Lexa was shocked and tried to take a closer look hitting her forehead with the glass. “Shoot!” Lexa took a step back rubbing her forehead.

“Can we get it?”

“Aaah sure, let’s go inside.” Lexa took Madi’s hand and went into the store.

Of course, being in a place where magazines were sold caused some people immediately recognized her, mumbling and sending messages to friends by how quickly they began to type.

Lexa quickly tried to look for some who could help her get the magazine.

“Alexandria!?” A man approached, the name tag read Brian. “Wow what an honor!”

“Ehm hi, Brian. I just want a magazine. Can you get one for me?”

“Polis?” Brian frowned.

“Not really, Damocles.” The taste was sour on Lexa’s tongue after her request.

“Sure, one minute!”

“Alexandria can you sign this magazine for me?” A younger woman approached her. Offering Polis.

“Sure.” Lexa took the marker and signed quickly, nonetheless, other clients were soon to follow.

Lexa tried to be quick and kept an eye on Madi at all times.

“This is my baby girl and we called her Alexandria, me and my wife are big fans.” A woman in her mid 30s said, passing the baby to Lexa.

“You what? I mean, ahm, that’s uh great.”

Lexa cooed the little baby as the chubby hands reached her face. Lexa eyed Madi and she felt that warmth in her heart that indeed that little girl was hers.

After some minutes the last person thanked Lexa for the pictures and autograph before leaving her alone.

“Bye.” Lexa smiled tightly and waved to her last fan when she noticed Brian was already waiting for her at the cash register.

“Here.” Lexa tossed ten bucks, grabbed the magazine and went on her way. “Keep the change. Thanks!”

Lexa and Madi walked towards the parking lot to get in the car and drive back home. Lexa’s head was pounding with questions about Clarke managing to get a cover from Diyoza. Lexa felt like the biggest clown in town. Her own wife doing business with the enemy.

“Can I see it?” Madi asked.

“Just wait until we get in the car.”

Lexa unlocked her car with a _blip_ from her keychain and let Madi inside, adjusting her seatbelt.

“Here.” She gave the magazine to the girl as she moved to the driver’s side to start the machine.

Lexa put the car into drive hoping that she could get rid of the ugly feeling that was growing in her stomach.

Madi was eyeing the pictures, more interested in how pretty Clarke looked than what information it provided.

Keeping her eyes on the road, Lexa swallowed the sourness in her mouth, trying to not ruin Madi’s excitement of seeing Clarke.

“Lexa?” Madi whined.

“Yes, baby?”

“I don’t feel so good.” Madi closed the magazine and left it in the glove compartment for Lexa to take later.

Lexa quickly checked Madi, touched her forehead but couldn’t feel a high temperature. “What is it, lil’ Heda? What hurts?”

“Here.” The little girl rubbed her belly.

“Okay, we’ll be home in thirty minutes. I’ll call Clarke to let her know we’re coming.”

“Call Wanheda,” Lexa said loud and clear and soon her car’s computer was dialing to Clarke’s number.

“Come on! Pick up, don’t leave me hanging, Clarke.” Lexa mumbled observing how Madi held her belly tighter.

After several tones, Clarke finally picked up.

“Lexa, I’m working on a commission can you-”

“It’s Madi!”

Clarke stopped what she was going to say. “What happened?”

“She feels ill, we’re heading home. Can you make it back?”

“I’ll tell Costia to close shop. I’ll be there in 20.”

“Okay, I’ll see you there.” Lexa pressed the button on her screen and ended the call.

“Don’t worry, Madi. We’re going to make sure you feel good.”

Lexa pushed the gas, hoping that this was nothing of concern.

____________

Lexa hadn't even ended the call before Clarke was removing her apron and putting her materials away. She ran towards her office to grab her purse and car keys.

Once she checked she had everything she headed towards the lobby.

“Niylah, I really need to go. Don’t pass me any calls please and thanks.” Clarke instructed and exited the gallery.

Clarke was thinking the worst, Lexa didn’t give her much information and she didn’t ask. She just knew she had to be home to check on Madi.

Jumping into her car, Clarke brought the engine to life and sped up all the way towards her apartment.

Thinking what could have happened to Madi made her pity her mom. How many times Abby had to worry about Clarke, thinking she was in danger when she was young? Clarke now understood.

Clarke speed-dialed her mom.

“Mom? I’m heading home. Madi feels sick. I’m going to check on her now. Can you come and make sure she’s healthy? Yeah, aha, okay, thanks.” 

Now that she knew her mom was going to drop by later made Clarke breathe more easily. She focused on her driving and in what felt like an eternity with the number of red lights she encountered, she was turning the intersection that led to her apartment.

If she was speeding a bit, she didn’t care. Her sole focus was to get home as soon as possible to see her babygirl.

Clarke parked her car, locking it securely and went towards the elevator.

  
  


Once she was inside her apartment she noticed Lexa wasn’t home yet. Instead, she went to Madi’s bedroom and prepared the bed to make it more comfortable with blankets and her favorite toys. She turned on her space lamp that projected stars, spaceships and other figures on the wall.

She heard the sound of keys in the door and headed into the living room to welcome Madi home.

“Clarke?” Madi groaned; the girl was in Lexa’s arms, resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder. The image squeezing her heart at the beautiful image of her wife carrying their child in arms.

“What’s wrong baby?”

Clarke immediately opened her arms in invitation. Madi stretched and Lexa passed Madi towards the blonde. Clarke checked her forehead for temperature seeing the sad face of the little brunette. “Are you feeling unwell?”

Madi nodded affirmatively.

“Okay, sweetie. Let’s get you into bed and change your clothes first.” Clarke kissed the mop of hair and walked into Madi’s bedroom with Lexa trailing a couple of steps behind, probably leaving her work stuff on the table first.

Clarke helped Madi get into her PJs and put her to bed. “My mom is coming soon, munchkin. She’ll make sure that you are safe.”

Madi nodded and pulled the blankets to feel more comfortable.

“We’ll be back.” Lexa said before emptying the bedroom.

Clarke caressed Madi before trailing after Lexa. She shut the close softly behind her and met her wife in the living room.

“What happened?” Clarke asked the brunette who was removing her work jacket and leaving it on the coat rack.

“She was feeling sick after we took a little walk at the mall. She ate ice cream. Nothing else.”

“Ice cream? Lexa, she hasn’t even had dinner. It was probably too much for her so early!”

“I just wanted to do something different with her today, Clarke. You’re gonna blame me for getting her sick?” Lexa shoved her hands in her slacks, clenching her jaw and very unhappy.

“I’m not. Just saying that you need to be more conscious of her nutrition. That’s all.”

“Thanks for the advice, Clarke.” Lexa replied with clear sarcasm dripping from her tongue. “But at least you answered me this time.”

“Geez, Lexa. I’ve told you that if I’m with a client or painting, it’s better to leave a message with Niylah.”

“Right because I can’t even message my wife anymore!” Lexa rolled her eyes and added. “Everything important that you should have told me, I learned because someone else told me,” Lexa said in that cold tone she used to show indifference.

A calm before the storm.

She loosened her tie as if she couldn’t breathe any longer.

“I had no clue you were struggling last year with Eden, Anya told me. And today? Surprise surprise! I learned through Madi by accident that you’re gracing the cover of the magazine that is practically running down my business to the ground. I felt like the biggest clown on Earth!”

“Lexa, it’s not like that! I’ve been trying to communicate but you don’t listen!” Clarke replied, standing up to defend herself from the onslaught of biting words.

“Is that right? Because lately, I cannot see any effort on your part Clarke. Your solution is to keep me in the dark. I was scared that when I called you today I was going to be sent, as usual, to your voicemail. Imagine my relief when you picked up.”

“We’ve been busy, Lexa. You know that as much as I do.” Clarke defended herself. “Besides, it’s not the first time you haven’t been available for my calls so why should I keep trying. It’s easier to leave a message with Maya.”

Lexa arched her brows in disbelief, shaking her head, as she ran her long fingers through her head. “You tell me I’m irresponsible, that I’m never home, but you can’t see the hypocrisy, Clarke. You spend hours painting. Every time you begin a new project you isolate yourself! If I try to help, you get mad at me. Everything I’ve done was to help _you_. And this is what I get in return?” Lexa grabbed the magazine from the living room couch and threw it onto their dining table. “Look at it! I even bought the damn thing! Since when you’ve been dealing with Diyoza?”

“Damocles was a chance to let myself get known without your help! It was not personal and much less a jab at Polis!” Clarke explained, trying to not get too loud to avoid Madi getting mixed in this discussion. “I’ve been fighting so hard to make a name for myself. To be just Clarke Griffin, but every single time my name got attached to yours! I cannot keep using your fame as a crutch, Lexa!”

“And that’s my fault how? I understand, Clarke. You don’t wanna be associated with me in any way. Hell, I don’t want to be associated with myself either; however, Alexandria Woods is what’s allowing Polis to stand up to this day. I’m sorry for ruining your chances at being successful. I’m sorry Alexandria is the cause of your lack of art commissions. I won’t ever interfere in your career again.”

Lexa wiped the tears escaping her eyes, clenching her jaw so hard Clarke could swear she heard her teeth cracking under the pressure. “Griffin had an incredible debut at the Tate,” Lexa read one of the pages of the magazine that showed a picture of Clarke when she was in London. “...the reviews were fantastic and we know she’ll continue to make headlines around the art world. We do wonder, her muse, the famous Alexandria Woods was not seen in the debut party and much less present in the exhibit. Could it mean that there is trouble in paradise? Or maybe the writer is having her fun with one lucky fan? Stay tuned for our next edition to find out.”

“Lexa, I- I swear I never mentioned anything about us. I thought this was an opportunity for me to keep growing professionally. I know how much work you put into Polis. My intention was not to mock you or ridicule you in any way. Damocles was a stepping stone, nothing else.”

“You gave Diyoza a chance to amplify some negative rumors and take a jab at me and my business. That’s all she wanted.” Lexa tossed the magazine into the kitchen counter. “It’s not just Damocles, Clarke. We’ve been in this hell for a long time and I’m so tired. I don’t know what you want from me? That is, if you even want me at all.” Lexa’s shoulders sagged, she looked so small. Defeated.

“Lexa, you haven’t touched me in a year! You’re always busy, if not traveling and kissing your fans or pleasing fucking Josephine. How do you think _I_ feel? I can only see that this family is not your priority!”

“Clarke, I’ve been making arrangements, trying to be here for you and Madi, but nothing I do seems to meet your standards of perfection! I had to lay off more than 20 workers last month, Polis is drowning in debt. I can’t seem to be able to write a damn book and you’re the one that needs to make a name? You don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself!”

“Of course, because you’re a saint, Lexa. You’re nothing but a selfish bi-” 

_DING DONG!_

Clarke swallowed hard, biting her tongue. She felt breathless, and with sadness that engulfed her completely.

“Go get the door, Clarke. It must be your mom.” Lexa requested, feeling exhausted.

She removed the heavy tears that were staining her face and grabbed her keys. “Hey, mom. I uh, I need to take some air. Madi’s in her room. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”  
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Abby cupped Clarke’s face looking into her azure eyes that were slightly red.

“Everything is wrong, mom. Please take care of Madi. I’ll be back in a while. I just… I need to calm down and think. I fucked up, mom.”

“Alright, baby. You stay safe and don’t take too long okay?”

Clarke nodded. Abby pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead.

“Listen, before you go. I know I wasn’t the best mom. Your dad and I were in our world while you were growing up. I admit I neglected you when you needed your parents the most and I’ll always be regretful that I didn’t support you. However, looking to the past, I’m glad that you had Lexa in your life. She helped you so much that I don’t know how to repay everything she did for you.”

Clarke cocked her head confused about the point her mother was trying to make.

“As a doctor, you know how hard it was for me to be home. Jake was just as busy, but made the most sacrifices to be there for you. We both had to make sacrifices in order to function as a unit. But that didn’t happen magically. We had to reach a consensus and understand that we wouldn’t be able to do everything we wanted because we had a child to take care of.”

“Mom, If you’re going to give Lexa the reason, then-”

“Shh! Let me finish, young lady!”

Clarke nodded.

“I need you to stop bickering like a child and start behaving like the spouse you are. I think that you’re finally realizing that a relationship is built with the effort of two people. I can see that you’re finally facing your responsibility in this mess. What I want you to do is to be honest with yourself, Clarke, and I promise you’ll find your answers when you do. Also, don’t forget you’re already parents, just because the legal paperwork is not done, doesn’t mean you’re not parenting that girl feeling ill in her bedroom.”

“I hear you, mom.”

“Good. I love you, baby. You take care and know that I’m rooting for you. I want to see you the happiest, okay?” Abby kissed her daughter goodbye and she walked herself inside the Griffin-Woods residence.

Clarke broke down in her car, the sadness and the reality of her situation was too much to take, but she had to get herself back together. Hearing from Lexa how she had been acting like a total hypocrite opened her eyes. She was as much to blame as Lexa.

She did this.

She played her part and fucked it up. Now she had to be honest with herself and find the answers she was seeking.

“Maybe going back where my life changed might help.” With that Clarke turned on the ignition and hoped to return with the answers and determination she needed to mend her marriage.

_____________

“I’m sorry, Abby. You arrived at a bad moment.” Lexa guided Abby to Madi’s room. “I uh, I’ll let you check Madi. I need to umm, release these feelings somehow so I’ll be in my office. Let me know how the check up goes?”

“Alright, I’ll get back to you in a bit, honey.” 

Lexa took a step to the side, allowing Abby to move freely inside the girl’s bedroom.

Lexa let herself out, closing the door silently. The heaviness that laid in her heart was one of the worst feelings she had ever felt, not even the awful things her parents told her once upon a time made her feel this wounded, the pain so raw that it was like adding salt to the wound.

She walked into her office and sat in front of her laptop.

But of course, words wouldn’t come to her. Lexa still had so much work to do on the draft she sent to Ontari, but she couldn’t for the life of her review the material and begin writing again.

“I guess I better forget about the new book. This is complete garbage.” Lexa dragged the document into the garbage bin of her computer.

Instead, she logged into _Between the Sheets _online, put on her reading glasses, and began writing.

_I’ve been thinking about my life lately. I’m trying to unravel the mystery of who Alexandria Woods is. How can she be at the top of the highest tower, surrounded by the love of her fans, and still feel so alone? How can she be this larger than life persona, but also the most insignificant to you?_

_I still cannot comprehend how you make me feel the most intense, passionate love; but also the deepest pain and fear._

_Is there anything left for us? For me? Why can you tell me and end this torture? I’m like a ghost, wandering the halls of a haunted place. For my soul is looking out for you, but you don’t want me. Or do you?_

_At my current crossroad, I cannot stop thinking about Neruda:_

_‘Tonight I can write the saddest lines._

_I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too._

_Through nights like this one I held her in my arms_

_I kissed her again and again under the endless sky._

_She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too._

_How could one not have loved her great still eyes._

_Tonight I can write the saddest lines._

_To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.’_

_I guess I’m writing right now my saddest lines as well. I’m sorry if I hurt you. That was not my intention. I’m trying. Always trying. I only hope that I can still find you between the sheets._

Lexa posted and removed the glasses leaving them over the desk, she leaned back in her chair and shut her eyes.

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

Lexa opened her eyes with a startle, she actually fell asleep. She wiped her eyes and invited Abby in offering a small welcoming smile to her mother-in-law.

“How's Madi?”

“She seems well. A mild fever but she’s gonna be fine. It’s just a stomach ache. She should feel better tomorrow. If she doesn’t improve then we can take her for a complete examination. Here's a prescription in case the fever increases.” Abby handed her the prescription.  
“Thanks.”

“Okay, Clarke went to get some fresh air. You should do the same, Lexa. The balcony must have a pretty view at this time. Madi is asleep now, so no worries.”

Lexa nodded.

“I promise you, Lexa, that if you two are honest, even if it hurts, you’ll come out of this stronger than ever. I pray this is one hurdle in your relationship. I wish you nothing but the best, my daughter in law. Clarke’s stubborn ass just got a reality check. She’ll be back soon, honey.”

“Yeah, I guess some air can help. Thank you, Abby. Thanks for being like a mother to me.”

Abby walked closer to the brunette, pulling her in a half hug and kissing her temple softly.

“A little reflection won’t hurt, Lexa. Whatever you both decide, know that I’ll always be there for you. You take care, daughter of mine.”

Abby shut the door to the office leaving Lexa alone with her thoughts.

It was time to make a life-altering decision.

To give up or amend her marriage.

______________

“I can see what I did wrong and how I stoked more the fire. I think I owe Lexa an apology for how I behaved. We do really need to talk and express everything we have inside.”

The raccoon made a weird whiny noise, reaching into the depths of the garbage can.

“I got pissed and told Lexa technically to float herself and I ended up here on Mount Weather reminiscing about my relationship with a friggin’ raccoon. What a joke!”

The raccoon held her gaze this time as if it was seriously exasperated by her.

“Yeah, no offense.” Clarke stood up from the picnic area. “Thanks for listening to my sob story.”

She adjusted her jacket once more, dusting off some of the dirt in her jeans. “Now that I kind of remembered how things went in the first place, I don't think I can just give up. We’ve been together for more than a decade, being there for each other, that has to count for something? At least, I hope Lexa sees it like that.”

Clarke eyed the raccoon. “I made lots of mistakes, Lexa too; but I believe that we can come back from it. It’s not that she cheated on me with my best friend or anything worthy of TMZ. We simply forgot the vows we made to each other. To treat her needs as my own, to care for her people as my people...” Clarke recited as if it was yesterday.

The raccoon made a chattering sound.

“I know, things won’t be magically fixed like in a fairytale, but it's the first step. A step that has taken too long to happen, pal. The only way I can fix my marriage is to remember our last time between the sheets. When we were naked and had nothing to hide or be embarrassed about each other.”

With that Clarke pulled out her cell phone and turned it on.

“Fuck? Who died?” Clarke asked, seeing the infinite amounts of calls and texts on her screen.

She called Lexa, who answered at the first ring.

“Lexa, I know I left on a whim, but I swear I needed to think and- What? Madi’s gone? I’m heading home right away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, you made it friend. The worst of the storm was this and you endured it like a champ. Now there is nowhere else but to go up.
> 
> Clexakru, hope you are enjoying the bliss of seeing Alycia wearing her warpaint possibly for the last time. It made me really happy so this is a little something to celebrate.  
This was beta by unaligned-valkyrie
> 
> Thank you for your support these 4 years of agony, hope you stick around for other more universes where those two will continue finding each other again and again and again.
> 
> PS. The Wattpad plagiarism got resolved, thanks for your support and as usual, protect your content creators by keeping an eye and spreading their work if you like it.
> 
> Thanks
> 
> Tana xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia
> 
> Reminder to be mindful of the tags!

“She was asleep. I checked before I went out onto the balcony.” Lexa explained, pacing frantically around the living room. “I was out there no more than 30 minutes and when I returned to her bedroom she was gone!”

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hands calming the woman down. “Look at me.” Clarke cupped Lexa’s face.

“We’re going to find her. Okay?”

Lexa nodded. “I called everyone. Anya and Raven are already on the street. They are searching around the park. Lincoln is checking the nearby streets. Abby is waiting in case Madi stops by her house. I checked the video surveillance of the building and they couldn’t spot her!? What the fuck, Clarke? The security didn’t see her leaving the building!!!”

“We need to stay calm, okay? Madi is street smart and knows how to move around without being spotted and I think I know where she might have gone.”

“Then we need to get going!” Lexa grabbed her jacket and waited for Clarke to get moving.

“I might be wrong, Lexa.” Clarke replied.

“It’s all we have right now, Clarke. Come on!” Lexa extended her hand and Clarke took it.

The drive to the gallery was eerily silent. Lexa’s anxiety was physically evident as she bounced her leg nonstop as her eyes tried to spot any sign of Madi on the passing streets.

Clarke hoped she was right, and Madi was safely inside her workshop instead of in the dangerous streets of Shadow Valley.

Clarke parked and the two women walked at a brisk pace towards the entrance of the locked gallery.

“How would she get inside, Clarke?” Lexa asked as Clarke began unlocking the main entrance.

“The workshop has several small windows above to help release the smell of the paints. She can climb using some of the trash cans and boxes to get inside on the back of the store to sneak inside.” Clarke finally unlocked the door and deactivated the alarm using the panel on the sidewall.

“Come on.” Clarke led the way towards the workshop, walking through the darkened halls of the gallery. The two women walked in complete silence to avoid spooking the little girl.

“There’s light coming from inside!” Lexa whispered right behind Clarke, making her shiver.

“Let’s go slow. Okay?” Clarke told Lexa before opening the door.

Clarke’s heart returned to its rightful place as soon as she noticed the little girl hunched on the table coloring a book.

“Madi?” Clarke called. The girl lifted her blue eyes to look at Clarke. Clarke took a couple of steps forward but not enough to close the gap, giving the little kid some space. Clarke lowered herself to be at eye level to speak to the little brunette, something that always worked with the elusive girl.

“You gave us one hell of a scare, Madi.” Clarke explained, keeping her tone neutral. Trying to show her that they weren't angry or mad. “We were very worried about you.”

Madi kept coloring, ignoring the adults talking to her. Not showing any sign of being happy or even sad.

Clarke looked at Lexa, both very concerned that the girl was not reacting how they expected.

“Little Heda?” Lexa took the spot beside Clarke, squatting to make herself small. “I’m sorry. You were feeling sick and Clarke and I were having a shouting match not far from your bedroom. Is that why you left? Did we scare you?”

Madi nodded.

“Are you mad at us?” Clarke asked.

Madi shook her head side to side. She left her coloring pencil on the desk. “I don’t want you to be angry because of me. Lexa is never home and Clarke is always painting. Aunty Raven’s stories were of you two happy. Now you aren’t happy because of me. I already lost a mom...”

Clarke gasped, her eyes watering at the mere thought of seeing the girl taking the blame for their own problems and making her think of losing her mother.

“Oh my God, no! Madi, I’m so sorry, baby. This is not your fault at all. On the contrary, since you arrived I’ve been the happiest person on Earth. Lexa too.” Clarke got closer, extending her hand and taking the little one on her own. “We love you so much and we aren’t going anywhere! You won’t lose us, Madi.”

“I know I’ve been absent a lot, Madi.” Lexa said. “I’m very ashamed of my selfishness. You and Clarke deserve all of me. I need you to believe me when I say that I love you and I want you to be part of our family.”

“I can take care of myself. I don’t want Clarke and Lexa sad.” Madi pouted.

“When you left we were the saddest,” Clarke reached for Madi and pulled her into her arms. “I promise you, that you are our little bundle of happiness. Lexa and I will always take care of you.”

Lexa eyed Clarke, offering a thankful smile, and hugged the two girls she loved.

“Let’s go home, baby. We’ll put you to sleep and I assure you things will get better for all of us. Okay?” Clarke caressed Madi’s rosy cheek, feeling the warmth of the girl.

Madi nodded and offered both of her hands to be taken by Lexa and Clarke.

-oo-

After the intense day she had, Clarke wanted nothing but to remain home and relax with her little girl, but it was important to discuss with Lexa how they were going to make things better.

Clarke noticed that the bed was already empty when she woke up. She put on a robe and made her way towards the living room when she heard little giggles from Madi.

Standing on top of the stairs she could see how Lexa played with Madi, while the taller brunette prepared breakfast.

Clarke was surprised that Lexa wasn’t in the office, which hasn’t happened in a very long time.

The smile on her face widened seeing how carefree the two of them were. Both smiling and fooling around like _family_.

_You still have them, Clarke. Don’t lose them again._ She reminded herself.

Clarke cleared her throat interrupting the morning fun.

“Clarke!!!” Madi shouted excited.

“Hey, cupcake! Good morning. How are you feeling?” Clarke kissed the top of Madi’s head.

“I’m good! Lexa is making Heda pancakes!” Madi was beaming, jumping in her chair like a bunny full of energy.

“Is that right?” Clarke perked her brow looking at Lexa.

The brunette had a slight blush on her cheeks, more noticeable due to carrying her hair in a bun, leaving exposed her long slender neck. Clarke was so tempted to go and kiss it, but right now wasn’t the time.

Not until they cleared the muddy waters between them.

“Yes. I’ve made some for you as well.” Lexa said. “Abby is coming for Madi in a couple of minutes to get her examined and then she’ll watch her today so we can um, have a chat.”

“Oh, that’s good. Thank you.” Clarke took a seat beside Madi and soon Lexa was pouring her special pancakes with strawberries and chocolate chips on the plates with honey on top.

The trio ate with such peace, the heaviness of earlier days wasn’t anywhere to be found, which was such a great first step for them.

Conversation flowed easily, mostly with Madi that acted as a buffer for the two grown women.

Maybe this time things were going to work in their favor. Clarke was so ready to begin fixing her mistakes and making sure that her family was going to be happy.

Abby arrived 30 minutes later. She helped Madi to carry her backpack with coloring materials and bid goodbye to the couple with a hopeful smile.

  
  


Lexa sighed, she picked up the dishes and left them on the sink.

“I’ll take care of this later. Um, do you want some coffee?” Lexa offered politely.

“Sure, thanks.”

Clarke moved to the living room and sat on the sofa. Lexa arrived carrying a coffee mug for Clarke and tea for herself.

Lexa sat on the sofa to Clarke’s right.

Both silent as soon as they were in position.

Clarke took a deep breath before looking at Lexa. “I uh, I’m very _very _sorry, Lexa. I made a lot of mistakes this past year. I acted like an entitled asshole and I’m deeply sorry for the things I said.” Clarke licked her lips, trying to contain some of the tears that started to accumulate in the corner of her eyes. “I was so focused on making it big, that I treated you like an enemy, instead of my ally, my partner in crime. I lost sight of what was important to me, and this past year has shown me how lonely it is being on top when the people I care about the most are not around to celebrate with me.”

Lexa wiped some tears from her face before she also took a deep breath. “I hurt you so much, Clarke. I made a vow to love you in the dark and in the light; instead, I pushed you away. I ignored your needs that were supposed to be like my own and put myself for others first. I never meant to become this. I don’t know when I turned into this unrecognizable person but you deserve better than this. I put my priorities in the wrong place and here we are...”

Clarke extended her hand and Lexa took it, lacing their fingers together. “I don’t want to lose you. To lose us. But if you...” Clarke gulped down, “if you want to separate and ask for the div-”

“Stop!” Lexa interrupted squeezing Clarke’s hand harder. “I don’t. I want to fix this, but how do we begin, Clarke? We fucked up big time.”

“Alright.” Clarke breathed more easily. “We lay our cards on the table. We speak with the truth, even if it hurts. I want to hear everything. I want to know how much I failed you as your wife; when I acted selfishly or judged you; when I hurt you with my actions or my words. I want to _be_ better. I promise to do the same. No anger, no pride in this conversation. I will bare my soul to you like you’ll open up for me in return. I know there is so much to make up for, but if we begin I hope we can fix this mess?”

“Okay.” Lexa took a sip of her tea. “No judgement, I will listen and I won’t fight you on it. I’ll accept my faults and take responsibility for my choices.”

“Good.” Clarke offered a conciliatory smile. “Shit, this is going to get heavy huh?” Clarke chuckled nervously, drinking a good chunk of her coffee, letting the warmth get to her stomach to calm her nerves. “Alright, so the first time I felt disappointed was last summer. My first exhibit with Paxton McCreary at Eden.”

Lexa locked her eyes with Clarke’s azure ones. Nodding as she listened attentively to her story.

“I counted on you, but you weren’t there. That was the first time you let me down. I know Dante Wallace had to talk to you, but you didn’t even call. I was desperate because I wanted to hold your hand when I showed McCreary my work, and I kept checking on the door and you weren’t there. I had all kinds of thoughts in my head, and maybe some of that hope and trust died a bit that night...”

And so they talked and bared everything. There were tears, there were pain and heartbreak, but it was now out. No more lying, no more postponing the inevitable.

They laid out everything about how they felt, about how their hearts broke every single time and how they hurt each other, sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident.

It was one of the easiest, but also the hardest things they had done as a couple, but one that would let them build again a stronger foundation for years to come.

________________

“I know Maya, but I really need you to get me that confirmation as soon as possible, please?” Lexa signaled Gaia to come inside her office. “Yes, Maya. I appreciate it. Let me know asap.” Lexa ended her phone call and invited Gaia to sit.

“Thanks for coming, Gaia. I know this all has been on short notice, but I’m taking time off. I know Polis needs leadership, but right now my wife is my priority. I have to do better, and Polis have capable hands like you, to lead when I’m gone.”

Gaia nodded, crossing her legs on the chair she leaned closer to Lexa’s desk. “I’m happy you're taking vacations, Lexa. That’s seriously no problem at all. If someone has busted their ass off in this place is you.”

“Thank you. That’s not why I called you though.”

Gaia now frowned, some concern on her face.

“I’ve been checking with the finances department some things and I seriously can’t understand why our numbers aren’t better. We are selling our prints, the digital version is getting clicks, we launched in the summer our **Polis en Español** version and right now our departments are flowing with lots of things to write about. I’d dare to say we could even begin to hire staff to alleviate some of the workload from our people. These?” Lexa pointed to several copies on her desk. “Doesn’t make sense.”

“In the last meeting the reports showed us improvement. Pretty okay-ish in general.”

“They shouldn’t just be okay-ish, Gaia. Before I leave for my retreat I thought maybe taking a second look at the data from Josephine’s team could provide me with real evidence of how to arrange my future schedule and plans for the magazine, but if you compare my data to these charts. There are at least a couple of thousands that are leaking monthly.”

“What?” Gaia tilted her head, frowning completely lost at this new development.

Lexa put on her reading glasses before grabbing a document and passing it to Gaia. “Look at the first chart. This is directly from the books Gaia, not from the digital report given by Josie. There’s a small leak every month. Not big enough to be noticeable but it’s right. Fucking. There!”

Gaia read the documents in silence. Her eyes widened as she reviewed the data. “Holy shit. You’re right. It doesn’t match!”

“Where is the money?” Lexa removed her glasses and linked her hands over the desk. “I need to go with Clarke. My marriage is on shaky ground and I can’t let this ruin it. I’m trusting you to find the answers, Gaia. Be discreet and if you find anything don’t report to Josephine. You talk only to me. Okay?”

“You got it.” Gaia grabbed the documents and before she left she turned around. “You made the best decision, Lexa. Family is always first. I’ll find what’s up, Commander. Go and woo your wife.”

Lexa nodded gratefully for her loyal friend.

  
  


Lexa was picking up all the documents from her desk when a knock on the door distracted her attention.

“This is truly astonishing,” Anya opened the door, leaning on the frame. She wore simple skinny jeans and a button up with the sleeves rolled on her arms; no wonder the gay staff was already fawning over her best friend by the looks outside of her office. “You are serious about taking time off.”

“I am.” Lexa resumed stashing all the things she needed to leave in order and slid her laptop inside her briefcase. “Thanks for joining me.”

“Lex, nothing to thank me for. I’m your friend. Always here.”

“I know and I’ve been the worst friend.”

“Come on, dummy. Let’s grab some lunch first before you start crying on me.” Anya smirked, noticing the rolling of Lexa’s eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t push it.” Lexa replied coolly.

  
  


The two friends made it to the restaurant Lexa reserved earlier to have a long-awaited lunch with the woman who was her rock. Lexa sent a quick text to Clarke to let her know her whereabouts.

**LexaGW: **Hey Clarke. I’m with Anya now. Madi doing okay?

**ClarkeGW: **Yup. I’m w Reyes. She says hi and a bunch of things you don’t need to hear :) see you soon

Lexa smiled and left her phone to put all her attention into her friend.

“Thanks, An. I’ve been a shitty friend. I realized after my talk with Clarke that I didn’t neglect her only, but you and Cos, Ryder; basically everyone else.” Lexa started before even taking a look at the menu.

Anya lifted her gaze and left the menu back on the table. “Lex, it was very painful to see you two. Not gonna lie.”

“I know.”

“Look. Shit happens. I just hope you and blondie had a good talk. I mean, I’m one to talk. If it wasn’t for you and your annoying wife I wouldn’t have declared to Costia you know?”

“Excuse me, ready to order?” A young waitress interrupted their conversation.

“Sure, um. Can we start with two beers?” Lexa asked.

Anya shrugged. “Sure.”

The waitress was looking dreamily at Lexa, possibly recognizing her from her photoshoots or maybe a TV ad.

Anya cleared her throat. “Cold beers?”

“Oh, of course. Right away!”

Anya chuckled. “Wow. That’s funny. They look at you like you were this goddess. If only they knew how much you suck in bed!”

“What? Where the hell did you get that? Wait, don’t answer that. For the record, my wife can vouch for me.”

Anya giggled, sending a quick text to someone. Probably Costia since it was clearly mock Lex[a](https://twitter.com/Tanagariel) day.

Lexa slumped in the chair. “I hate the attention, I never signed up for this. I don’t like the way people treat me. I’m not Alexandria!”

“I know,” Anya reached for Lexa’s hand to squeeze it. “It clearly has taken a toll on you. You look like you lost some weight too. Have you gotten checked? I don’t want you to get sick, Lex.”

“I’m okay. Just tired. I think these days off might help me. Not just to rekindle my connection with Clarke, but for myself.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m proud of you. Taking the steps to make corrections and accept your own fault is good. I’m happy you two are taking the time again to reconnect.”

“Yeah. I’d love to take Madi with us, but I want to do that later. When I have reaffirmed my commitment to Clarke and she doesn’t regret giving us a second chance. For all I know she could realize I’m not really what she wants and ask me for the divorce.”

“Calm down, Lexa. Clarke wants to fix this as much as you. The fact that you’re going away to communicate openly, says a lot about the commitment you both have.”

“I want to do so much better. Clarke and Madi have a deep place in my heart and I couldn’t ever stop loving them. I’m scared, Anya. If I lose them...”

“You won’t. That child is special huh?” Anya thanked the waitress who appeared with their order, leaving the two amber bottles before pouring them over two tall glasses on their table.

“Anything else?” The woman asked with eyes only for Lexa.

Anya grunted getting annoyed. “No thanks. When we’re ready to order I’ll let you know, Miss.”

Anya took a generous sip of the pale she requested. “Aaah! So good!” Anya wiped her mouth before continuing with the conversation.

“You have your own little family now, Lexa. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. From that teeny scrawny girl to a good, strong, and caring woman. Your folks were wrong about you.”

Lexa offered a small smile. “You think?”

“I know.” Anya grinned. “They didn’t know you. Never let themselves know the _real _you. Their loss.” Anya shrugged and raised her drink.

“For new beginnings!”

“For new beginnings!” Lexa joined.

Clicking her glass with Anya’s and drinking more at ease.

_____________

Clarke finished packing. She made sure to review once more that she had stored her toothbrush and other necessities for her short trip with Lexa.

She was so anxious, the nerves of wondering how things would go between them. They still had so much to discuss and reach common ground. This could be the clean slate they both needed, but also it could be the last straw and end it all.

Clarke exhaled doing a sweep of the items she put in her luggage. “Okay, I think everything is there.” Clarke eyed the white lace lingerie set she bought for this occasion. Hoping to reignite that dormant flame in their relationship. But also fearing Lexa’s rejection. They really had to talk about their relationship and how to go from here on. It wasn’t going to be a magical fix but a couple of steps moving forward.

“It’s going to be great!”

Clarke pumped herself up and zipped her luggage. Checking her watch once more she noticed that it was almost time for Lexa to arrive.

Clarke moved to the living room and checked on Madi who was on the couch watching cartoons.

“You have everything ready, Madi?” Clarke asked knowing well that she double-checked the girl had everything she needed in her backpack for her stay with her mom.

“Yes!” Madi chimed, “My colors and stories are all in the bag.” Madi smiled proud of doing her own packing. Clearly oblivious to the objects that really mattered - pjs, hairbrush, etc.

“Okay good. You’re going to have a blast with Abby and Marcus. Also Raven is going to stop by to take you to the park”

“But I want to go with Clarke and Lexa.” Madi pouted, crossing her tiny arms in front of her chest.

“I know, honey. We will take you on other trips, but right now you stay home.” Clarke ruffled her mop of hair when she heard the sounds of keys.

Clarke turned to find Lexa opening the door, carrying her briefcase and several other documents in her hand.

“Hey, I’m back.” Lexa walked to the sofa and left her jacket on an empty spot along with her work things to hug a wild Madi who ran towards the older brunette. “Ow!” Lexa held the little girl tightly. “Madi, you’re getting stronger!”

Madi pulled away from the hug and flex her arm. “I’m strong like Heda!”

“That you are!”

Clarke smiled, seeing the two brunettes exchange their greetings.

“I’ll leave these things in my office and we’ll go right away, okay?” Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek and jogged upstairs to leave everything in order.

“Okay Madi, grab your bags. We’re leaving!”

-oo-

After dropping Madi in Abby’s house, Clarke and Lexa headed to their destination. Clarke was curious about the trip that Lexa organized and was excited to spend these couple of days with her wife. A wave of nerves and excitement surrounded her, which made her be a little fidgety in the seat.

“We’re not going too far away, Clarke. It’s near Shenandoah National Park. Those cabins were the best option considering it’s a short getaway.” Lexa explained interpreting Clarke’s nerves as something negative.

Lexa kept both hands on the steering wheel, which was an indication of Lexa keeping her distance with Clarke, which sat wrong with the blonde. The point of this trip was to break the awkwardness that developed between them. To try to unravel all the awful communication they developed and start to communicate properly.

They could start with small touches.

“Hey, I know it was short notice. Thank you for doing this.” Clarke rested her hand slowly over Lexa’s thigh. 

That seemed to ease the tension Lexa was carrying by the drop of her shoulders. “I’ll make a quick stop in Alexandria to shop whatever snack you might want for the road and put some gas, then we travel around 2 hrs. to the cabin location.”

“Cool. It’s going to be fun.” Clarke offered a warm smile, turning the radio on and tuning into whatever music was available.

Soon the radio played the latest hit of a rock star who Madi liked as well, **Like An Open Wound**, playing in the background with its guitars and drums before the vocals began.

Lexa replied with a small smile on her own, which eased the nerves Clarke had.

  
  


In what felt like a matter of minutes, they reached a gas station in the center of Alexandria, VA. The two walked towards the store and Clarke began tossing into a shopping basket a couple of things she might want to have around during their small trip while Lexa was paying the gas to fill her car.

Clarke was humming as she moved around the convenience store, adding some disposable plates and cups, and then heading to the booze section to add a bottle of red wine to keep things light.

Clarke finished her walk around adding some M&Ms to appease her chocolate cravings and left everything in the cashier. She looked around searching for Lexa, but realized she was outside the store with an old man.

“Here. Keep the change.” Clarke dropped a twenty and grabbed her bags before heading outside, not liking the way the man’s face contorted with anger.

“The amount of shame you should have! How dare you flaunt your disgusting ideologies as if nothing. Bringing shame to our name!”

Clarke heard the man’s accusing words. Clarke left the bags on the sideway before she sent - what seemed to be one of those hateful preachers - to hell.

That was before Lexa replied.

“I’m living my truth, father.”

_Oh boy!_

Clarke stopped.

“Living in sin is no truth! Your actions speak louder than words! You’re a disgrace to our family! 

“Excuse me!?” Clarke stepped beside Lexa and took her hand in hers. “Babe, I’m ready to go.” Clarke eyed the tall man. He had greying hair, with some stubble on his face. Thick black eyebrows and underneath, green eyes.

Green eyes the color of her wives’.

“Who is this? Another one of those dykes of yours?” The older man sneered.

Lexa growled taking a step forward. “You’ll respect my wife! You can remind me how unfortunate it was to have me as your only daughter but you’ll leave my wife alone!”

“Wife? God will never bless such aberration.”

“Sir, I appreciate it if you backed the fuck off.” Clarke held Lexa’s hand tighter. “Or I’m going to forget you’re the old homophobic asshat father of my spouse and kick you in the nuts.”

“Jason!” An older woman called from behind. “Enough.”

Clarke noticed how Lexa swallowed hard.

The woman was as tall as Lexa, hair with warm deep honey-colored waves tied in a single bun. Face with strong facial features, almost regal and cold blue eyes.

“We’re leaving.” The eyes of the woman roamed all over Lexa. Examining the woman who Lexa had become.

“God bless. Excuse us.” The woman said politely and turned around with her husband back to the parked truck behind them.

Clarke pulled gently Lexa to pick up her bags and then returned to the parked Mustang near the gas pump.

Lexa was silent, her mind absent but Clarke didn’t push her for any reaction.

Lexa let out a long exhale once she was seated, she buckled up but didn’t turn the engine on yet.

“I never thought I’d see them again,” Lexa spoke with sadness. “I’m sorry you had to meet Jason and Callie Woods like this, Clarke.”

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face gently. “Babe? You’ve nothing to be sorry about. You’re your own amazing person Lexa. You’re my wife, my family, okay? Not them.”

Lexa nodded.

“Let’s get going. We have a getaway to get to.” Clarke tried to infuse Lexa with some of her emotions. “And nobody is going to ruin this for us. No one.”

Lexa turned on the engine and Clarke kept her hold on Lexa’s hand all the way to the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are here, thank you. I know it's been a while and I want to apologize for the long wait. I have to be honest friends, I felt so much pressure and anxiety to fulfill some expectations that I developed in my head, which made me lose motivation and even give up at one point of continue writing this. Plus being in lockdown in this pandemic definitely made me so insecure about my writing and what I have been working so far, that I took a step back and forgot about my story to read other stories and other ships to distance myself and recharge and possibly pass some writer's block. I appreciate those who dropped comments asking for updates, but you gotta let me get back up on my own terms, no pressure please :)
> 
> I can say with certainty that after a good rest I kind of got my groove back, I still have so many insecurities regarding my work but I decided to tackle it and finally finish this so I can focus on other things and new works. So here it is, hope it is still good material. Also, you will be getting updates every two weeks until I finish writing (Mondays). If I do that faster I'll start editing the incoming updates and will be able to move to 1x per week updates until the completion of this fic.
> 
> This is a reminder that I only publish my work on this website, I don't post anywhere else. Thank you to those that keep an eye for the ppl that post without permission and please respect the long hours that fic writers put to give you these works for free. Denounce plagiarism!
> 
> Once more thank you if you still around and no more stop until the end.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> Tanagariel
> 
> PS: This chapter was edited with the help of cos-geek-monkey


	11. Chapter 11

After the extensive drive, the couple arrived safely into the cabin area. The sun was starting to hide over the horizon when they managed to unpack their things for their brief vacation and settle themselves.

The cabin was big enough for two people. With a queen bed in the master bedroom with a large glass window panel that allowed a view of nature outside, when the blackout curtains were fully open. There was a shower and a small kitchen with a burner stove to prepare their meals. The wooden structure was pretty compact, but all in all, was enough for their purpose to escape their intense daily lives and just enjoy each other’s presence.

Outside, there was a fire pit to make s’mores later if they wanted to and a picnic table if they rather sit outside to eat.

This is where they found each other after they had set all their items inside the cabin, trying to enjoy the little sunlight left around them.

The fire pit was glowing, the embers providing enough warmth to the couple as the temperature began to drop.

Both had a warm drink in their thermos. They were in relatively easy silence. Clarke had no rush to begin talking, but eventually, they had to tackle the things that they still had to work on.

Clarke took another sip of her coffee and settled it on the wooden table. If she were to start a conversation to break the ice she could use the pretty view around. Maybe comment about the red and orange leaves hanging from the trees or the sound of insects surrounding them. Perhaps if she started easy, they could go deeper into more complex topics as the night wore on.

“That was one hell of meeting the parents,” Clarke said the first thing that crossed her mind, realizing how deep she jumped straight away. “I mean, it was unexpected. We don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to.” Clarke tried to quickly undo the potential damage she might have caused with the heavy comment.

Lexa was looking at her hands holding her beverage, quiet. The way she scrunched her brows a giveaway of the number of thoughts that might be running in her head. She moved the thermos into the table and leaned into the chair’s backrest, looking at the darkening orange and blue sky.

“I wished you never did.” Lexa began. “It’s not that I wanted to keep this a secret or anything from you.” Lexa looked to Clarke and you could see there was clear pain and sadness as she spoke.

“I don’t talk about my past because it’s not something I’d like to remember. I was a happy child, at least until I kissed another girl.” Lexa shrugged. “My parents are very religious, involved in the community and they molded me to be the perfect image of them. Of course, I was far from anything close to it. I liked a girl and a teacher from our church spotted us when she pecked me on the lips after school. The teacher reported it to my parents and they blamed the perverted minds of the American youth. I got isolated since then, never giving me freedom. I was 14.”

Clarke rested her hand over Lexa’s giving it a short squeeze to reassure the brunette.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you this pain, Lexa. Hell, more than I already did...”

Lexa shook her head. “You did nothing wrong, Clarke. It’s natural that you want to know me. All of me. I know you’ve always wondered about my past - It wasn’t pretty but I said I was going to be honest with you. You’re my best friend, and I guess I forgot that along the way.”

“Did your parents ever do anything… um, I mean, your dad seemed pretty aggressive back in the gas station.” Clarke hesitated, gulping down the knot in her throat.

“They hurt me in other ways. Imagine if the neighbors saw the impeccable Woods’ had laid a hand on their only child? No, father was ruthless with his words making me feel small, that I didn’t deserve to be loved. In school though, gossip ran fast and some of my classmates were a clear reflection of their bigoted parents. My neighborhood was filled with homophobes and all kinds of toxic people. One day after recess was over, some jocks ganged up on me and beat me up.”

Clarke swallowed hard, tears pricking in the corner of her eyes. “Jesus… I want to murder them.”

“That’s when I met Anya. She saved me. In all ways someone can save another person. My parents didn’t let me go anywhere, but at least I had Anya. She was with me ever since that day, watching over me. She was two years older and lived closer. She taught me to protect myself, to be strong and independent.”

“You told me way back a bit about how you used to get in trouble along with Anya. I’m glad she was there for you.” Clarke said, grateful for the other woman.

“Yeah… Anya kept me company during all my school years, even after she graduated. In my loneliness at home, since my parents forbid any liberal TV or me going to parties or basically anywhere without supervision, I found solace in books. That’s when I fell in love with literature. I knew back then that I had to study really hard because I had nowhere else to go and much less money. Only a scholarship could take me away from them. And I did. Never looked back.”

“But I remember you used to call your mom, right?”

Lexa nodded. “Every Christmas. I thought she was becoming more flexible. That she’d see that I was still their daughter. I really thought she was changing, but the day I called to tell her about our nuptials, that’s the day she said she didn’t want to do anything else with me. She was the one hoping I’d come back one day and admit I wasn’t a lesbian.”

“Baby, gosh. I’m so angry on your behalf.” Clarke stood up and pulled Lexa towards her. Embracing her and showing her how much she cared. “You don’t need the likes of them in your life. You have me. I swear I’m going to try my best to never hurt you as I did. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Lexa pulled Clarke on top of her, holding Clarke in her lap. “I think that’s why I was so concerned about you when we met. You were so angry at the world, ready to burn everything down because you felt abandoned. I couldn’t let you do that, not after seeing that your parents really loved you.”

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face, caressing her cheeks with her thumb, trying to remove the tears staining Lexa’s face.

“You’re a protector. That’s who you are. You’ve saved my ass so many times, Lexa. You changed my life. I have no words to thank you - I can only give you my word that I will be here for you, as long as you want me by your side to cherish you. I hate myself for hurting you, goddammit!”

“Don’t do that, Clarke. I don’t want you to despise yourself. We already talked and we both know we have a lot to do to keep improving as a couple. You forgave me and I forgave you. No hard feelings.”

“Lexa, let me take care of you, please? I want to be able to share your wins and losses, to be there when you’re sad or happy. Be it anyway I can for you like you’ve been for me in the past. Don’t push me out, baby. Please, let me be your shield.”

“And I’ll always be your sword, Clarke. Don’t keep me at arm’s length.”

Clarke grinned and kissed Lexa’s forehead, “I won’t.”

  
  


Clarke borrowed closer to Lexa’s shoulder as the temperature was on the colder side by now. The sun was barely visible, the few rays hiding behind the long trees. The fauna already making their presence known around with their chirpy sounds. It was getting colder but the fire was still strong keeping them warm enough to remain outside for a longer time.

“I’ve missed you so much, Clarke.” Lexa spoke softly. “My touring, and all the things related to Alexandria are not going to interfere with us anymore. I won’t let this be what breaks us apart. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you with those provocative pictures. Titus won’t impose his plans anymore, if he doesn’t comply I’ll get a new manager. I’m tired of being a puppet at the service of everyone.”

Clarke buried her head under Lexa’s chin, and slotted her nose in her neckline, taking deep breaths, feeling her wife close.

“Alexandria Woods…. I resented that name because I was envious. I was so bitter that my art was always tied to that name. Yet I realized late that I was so damn wrong about it. My art without you is no art at all. You’ve been my number one supporter and I can’t believe I gave you my back. I’m so fucking regretful of what I did. You’re my muse. What the hell was I thinking when I rejected your help? I’m a huge idiot.”

“It’s not just you, Clarke…” Lexa sighed, taking in a shaky breath.

Clarke pulled herself away from underneath Lexa and took back her chair to be able to see Lexa in the eyes.

“Lexa?"

“I never saw beyond the needs of Polis. I took you for granted and this gap that we created is just as much as my fault. That last discussion was the last drop that made the cup run over, Clarke and I knew just then how fragile our relationship was.”

“My ego shouldn’t have gotten so out of hand. Your work is important too, Lexa. Alexandria is the synonym of Polis and what you did was what you had to do, even if I truly hated it. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about Polis. I want you to save that place for every person that has put their effort into that magazine. Your heart is big, with so much space to share but I’m a selfish dumbass. I didn’t want to share.”

Lexa smiled, her shoulder shaking with the deep sound. “I don’t wanna share you either. Can’t blame you for that.”

Clarke giggled. “I know I might have acted a bit rude with Josie. I’m sorry, but there’s something about her that I don’t like. She’s annoying and I feel she has taken advantage of you and took this touring thing too far. Also, the thing with Diyoza? Yes, it was out of spite but I won’t ever do another interview for her again. She’s despicable. Her interview painted you in such a bad light. My words, as usual, were tampered with.”

“I despised McCreary. That man can shove up his critique up his ass but if he can help you to promote your work, I guess I’ll have to deal with it. I swear if that man dares to insult your work again I’ll rip him a new one though.”

That made Clarke burst out in laughter; Lexa chuckled as well.

“Funny that McCreary introduced me to Diyoza. I don’t know, it feels now like I was played, and here I thought I was doing something on my own.”

“Even if they did plan that your art speaks for yourself, love. That London showcase was fantastic! Costia kept me up to date and I couldn’t be prouder of you.” Lexa leaned over and kissed the crown of her head.

“You always check my shows, even when I did this in the most awful way by pushing you aside. Sorry, hun. I won’t let that happen again.”

“I know. We both still have a lot to improve but we’ll get there. It takes as long as it takes.”

Clarke chuckled, “Oh my God, you still pulling that one on me?”

“Not my fault you’re still so impatient,” Lexa had the smuggest look she could have achieved.

Clarke didn’t mind a bit.

Once the big shiny moon made it to the top of the dark, starry sky, Clarke began to shiver.

“I don’t feel my fingers, babe. Let’s go inside and I can prepare us some sandwiches?” Clarke removed herself from Lexa’s arms after being outside for a long time.

“Sure. Go ahead I’ll put the fire down first.”

Clarke offered both of her hands to Lexa and helped her get back on her feet.

“I love you, Lexa Griffin-Woods.”

The soft smile that Lexa gave her in return made her heart burst into millions of butterflies.

Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek.

“I love you too, Clarke Griffin-Woods.”

-oo-

The next day both women went out for an early walk, looking around the bright yellow, orange, and red leaves still hanging from the trees, some others have already shed their leaves getting ready for the upcoming winter. It was a chilly morning but the sounds that surrounded them made the trip really blissful. Birds sang the most beautiful tunes, and the sound of the crunched rocks and leaves under their boots accompanied them into their trail.

The sky was even grey - not clear as the weather forecast predicted - but it was okay as long as Clarke held Lexa’s hand in hers.

“I think this place might look better in the spring, not that it’s not a good choice, Lex. I’m loving us being here in our little corner in the world.” Clarke stepped into a fallen log and jumped back down with a little skip.

Lexa turned to her with a half-smile. “As if we were going to still be married next spring,” she huffed.

After a beat.

“Sorry,” Lexa lowered her head looking into the ground. “That was uncalled for.”

Sadness coated her expression, and Clarke had to stop Lexa from beating herself up.

“No. I mean, you’re not wrong.” Clarke stopped and grabbed both Lexa’s hands in hers. She pulled Lexa’s chin up with her forefinger.

“It was really bad. I think we’re both clear that we’d probably be divorced by then. If we didn’t change our actions, but we’re here trying to be better for each other.”

“Yes, we are.” Lexa offered a little smile and pulled Clarke along the rest of the trail. “Come on. We should be close to the bird lookout.”

The two resumed their walk, making small conversations about silly things. It felt good to spend time by themselves, it was what they both needed to reconnect and find that the flame they shared was still burning brightly.

All they had to do was nurture with more water and love their little tree called marriage.

They reached an area that was popular for bird watchers, they sat on a bench near some pines and relaxed.

Clarke removed from over her shoulder the strap holding an insulated thermal lunch box, she unzipped it and took out a couple of pastries, she gave one to Lexa and the other for herself.

“My fingers itch to sketch this place.” Clarke took a bite and hummed at the delicious chocolate filling her croissant still warm from the toaster-oven.

“It’s really nice, huh?” Lexa took a bite from her meal, munching happily as the sun began filtering through the branches and the sounds of different birds seemed to become amplified as if welcoming the sun.

“It’s nicer with you,” Clarke winked.

Lexa’s lips ticked upright at the clear pickup line.

“I talked with Madi briefly before we left, she’s doing okay,” Clarke reported, she wiped her hands on her jeans to remove the crumbs in her hands.

“Yeah? That’s good. I was worried she was going to get restless.” Lexa moved closer to Clarke and wiped a bit of chocolate from the corner of her lips, making Clarke blush hard, like a damn teen.

“I should have asked you about adopting her, Lexa. I’m very sorry I didn’t consult with you about something life-changing.” Clarke chewed her lower lip, anxious about this conversation but she knew she had to woman up and apologize.

Lexa pulled from the lunch box a thermos and took a sip of the tea she made earlier. “Do you think I would have said no?” Lexa asked after warming her insides with the beverage.

Clarke frowned, thinking of her answer. “I- I think so?”

They both remained quiet. Letting the nature sounds fill the gaps between them.

“I probably would have suggested waiting at first,” Lexa said after a bit. “I was so invested in Polis, that my head wanted nothing but to accomplish my goal to save it. My heart though loves that girl with every fiber of my being, Clarke. I think you made the right choice.”

Clarke let out a big exhale. A bit of the weight in her consciousness being relieved by Lexa’s response.

“I still should have asked you. You’re my wife and it was a decision that affected both of us and Madi. I was selfish. I wanted nothing but to give that kid everything she missed in the cruel world she was born in.”

“Because you want to fix everything, Clarke. That’s who you are and that’s why I-” Lexa looked into Clarke’s blue eyes and smiled. “That’s why I love you.”

The way Lexa was looking at her, with such pureness and openness. How the green color of her irises glowed with those gold specks as the sunlight began to hit her face.

Clarke was madly in love and she wasn’t sure how she could live without seeing that face anymore.

She leaned slowly making sure that Lexa was very clear on what her intention was, in case Lexa wasn’t ready to do more than hand-holding.

Clarke kissed the dry plump lips of her wife slowly, pouring her love and her apologies into the way she pressed her lips to Lexa’s.

Lexa responded with the same tenderness, opening up to give Clarke access and slide her tongue inside.

Lexa hummed, giving Clarke more confidence and she took Lexa’s face with her hands, holding her in place to keep kissing her until they were both out of oxygen.

Lexa switched sides, bumping her nose softly with Clarke’s, deepening the kiss as teeth and tongue crashed messily, making Clarke giggle and Lexa smile.

Clarke moved away and opened her eyes. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Lexa’s cheeks turned a deep pink, she was out of breath but she was smiling.

“That was nice.” Clarke scooted closer to Lexa to rest her head in Lexa’s left shoulder.

“Very nice.” Lexa laced her fingers with Clarke’s, her thumb running small circles on her hand. “You taste like chocolate.”

Clarke laughed, “Chocolate is my second favorite flavor. Wanna know my number one?”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Oh God. Clarke, we’re not teens.”

“Come on! You like me wooing you, Woods. So?”

Lexa sighed, “Fine. What’s your number one?”

Clarke lifted her face, grinning like the biggest lovefool in the world.

“The taste of you.”

____________

So far so good, three days and it was already so comfortable being with Clarke. There was nothing that made Lexa remember the ugly days fighting and arguing with the blonde, who was in the small kitchen preparing a special intimate dinner.

Lexa was sitting comfortably on the couch in the cramped living room looking at Clarke more than watching TV, simply because Lexa was enraptured. Why watch the TV if she had the most beautiful woman in the world making something nice for them both?

And who could blame her? She was heavily attracted to the curves of her wife, that beautiful ass looked so good in those leggings that Lexa wanted nothing but to touch her, but she was still taking things slow.

She didn’t want to move things too fast. They were still getting things out in the open, and rebuilding the trust they’d lost along the way.

Lexa was nervous, to say the least. They hadn’t had any intimacy in such a long time, possibly closer to a year. That’s how bad things had been.

Lexa couldn’t even fly solo during the time she was away from home either, there was no fire, no passion, nothing. How could Lexa even dare to bring herself to orgasm when her wife was angry back home? So no, Lexa has been out of action for a very long time.

“Oh!” Clarke said looking at the TV, “I really like that commercial you did. You look so sophisticated and bold, a different kind of vibe but pretty intriguing!” Clarke claimed as the ad she filmed months ago was currently airing on the TV. “Though I could do without that woman whispering things in your ear. It’s a magazine commercial, why the need to get so close to talk about a damn exhibit huh?”

Lexa clenched her jaw; she didn’t want to be reminded of Alexandria. Lexa removed her gaze from the running ad and turned off the TV.

“Call me when the food is ready.” Lexa stood up.

“Lexa? What’s-”

“I’ll take a nap.”

Lexa put her hands in her sweatpants and moved towards the restroom leaving Clarke without a clear explanation.

The writer opened the water faucet and splashed her face, before looking at the reflection in the mirror.

“You’re going to ruin it again,” Lexa whispered.

“You’re upset.”

Clarke’s voice was nearby, which meant she followed her in concern. “Is it something I said? I was joking, I know the model was professional and you did what you were instructed to do. I’m sorry, baby.”

Lexa swallowed hard, she really didn’t want to talk about this, it felt stupid. She dried her face with a towel and faced Clarke.

“It’s not important.” Lexa moved to the room they were sharing and sat on the edge of the queen mattress.

“Lexa? What’s wrong?” Clarke took the spot beside Lexa and rested her hand in her thigh, offering a small comforting massage.

“It’s Alexandria.”

Was Lexa’s answer.

Lexa lowered her gaze; she began fidgeting with her hands.

“When we had one of our arguments you mentioned something,” Clarke commented, reminiscing about that moment.

Lexa kept quiet, but Clarke could see how she clenched her jaw.

“You hate her,” Clarke concluded.

The blonde frowned not understanding why would Lexa hate the persona that allowed her to write her columns. “I mean, you’re Alexandria.”

“I’m not!” Lexa answered exasperatedly, shaking her head and feeling suffocated by the weight of Alexandria Woods. “That woman on the TV is not me, Clarke. I’m just Lexa, an English Lit major, not… _that._” Lexa finally looked at Clarke and what she saw was nothing but love in those azure eyes that were focused solely on her.

“Lexa, I didn’t fall in love with you because you’re portraying someone else. When you started writing yes, I was intrigued by the words that knew how to reach me. And yet, it was because you spoke through her that I found how much I loved you. Alexandria is not who I love. Never was. Not even now with this new image that Josephine made for you. I mean, you project such a different aura, but I know the real you. You’re nothing like Alexandria.”

“It feels like I’ve been competing with her since then, Clarke.” Lexa swallowed hard, she felt vulnerable like this and Lexa hated that feeling. “These people that I don’t know tell me so many things - that they love me, some want to hug me, others cry and they say things as if they knew _me_. They have Alexandria on a pedestal and that scares me, Clarke. They have no idea who I really am. And I’ve been portraying this image and I feel like a fraud because they want someone I’m not! And then you tell me you hated Alexandria and I feel I’ve been interfering in your career making things worse and I just hate myself.”

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face. “I’ve read the things your fans write. I really dislike how sexual some of those comments are. They are crazy about this person, but as I said, it’s not you. I’m so grateful to know the real you, Lexa. You’ve bared your soul to me and I’m so lucky to know you the way I do. Those fans don’t know how your real smile looks like, they don’t know how your hands are so soft and tender when they touch me, or the way your voice sounds when you’re fucking me raw.”

Lexa turned red like a beet because Clarke was being now very graphic.

Clarke moved way closer now, caressing Lexa, pushing with fingertips a wisp of hair from her face. “You didn’t ruin anything either. You’ve been cheering for me since I was in Costia’s classroom and I regret how I pushed you away because of Alexandria.”  
“It wasn’t nice when you were introduced as Alexandria’s wife. I understand, Clarke.” Lexa moved her hands to Clarke’s waist, anchoring herself to this woman. “I feel that I’ve lost myself, I can’t write anymore and I hate what I’ve become.”

“You should do what you feel comfortable doing. I’ll be with you, Lexa. Whatever you decide to do with Alexandria is up to you. Not Josephine and much less Titus. I just want you to know that the one that makes my heart sing is you, baby.”

“Would you be okay if I stopped writing ‘Between the Sheets’?” Lexa asked.

Clarke hummed, thinking of her answer. “I’ll stand by you, Lexa. If you want to stop all this Alexandria business you have my support, but I don’t want you to do it because you think it will interfere with us. I promise you, it won’t. I won’t let it rip us apart again.”

Lexa licked her lips, nodding. “I just want to write simple articles and my stories, all the rest? I’ve been miserable all this time. I’ll keep working hard for Polis but not sacrificing myself or you. Never again.”

“I’ll manage my work better as well. I won’t take commissions that I won’t have the time to handle if I can’t care for my family first. You and Madi are my priorities, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled, she really liked the new visual of a family she had: Clarke and Madi.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please do,” Clarke replied and Lexa didn’t waste any more time.

The kiss was slow, Lexa’s lips were so soft, moving slowly, getting reacquainted again with the woman she loved. With her arms, she pulled Clarke on top of her and adjusted the angle of her kiss.

Lexa pressed Clarke closer until there was no space left between them.

Clarke’s hands moved to her neck and back, roaming into the well-known terrain but still exploring after such a long time without this intimate contact.

Lexa moved her lips lower, tracing Clarke’s neck and leaving a trail of little bites and sucking the skin that smelled like heaven.

Clarke hummed and angled her head more to provide better access and Lexa took it happily, making sure to stake a claim in every inch of skin available.

Lexa pulled apart, completely breathless and opened her eyes. Her hands moved to Clarke’s hips, keeping her in place.

Clarke was flushed, beautifully breathless. Her eyes a darker shade of blue, but splendid nonetheless.

“Clarke…” Lexa said in awe, her skin was too hot, her heart too erratic, her fingers itching to go beyond the barriers separating them. Her green eyes focused on the goddess on top of her, reveling in the feeling of being loved.

“I’m here.” Clarke smiled and leaned down for a kiss.

This was more confident, and Lexa let herself follow Clarke’s lead. It was passion, a hurricane removing everything on its pathway. A symphony that included moans, and high-pitched cries. Soon Clarke was removing her sweater and Lexa was speechless, breath falling short because God... She hadn’t seen this beautiful pair of tits in such a long time. She was starving.

Lexa soon learned and buried her face in the cleavage being offered freely to her. She pressed her hands towards Clarke’s lower back, making sure to keep Clarke secure in her arms.

“Lexa please, touch me. I’m yours, baby. All of me!”

Lexa pulled the straps of Clarke’s very interesting white lace bra and freed her pink taut nipples. With her lips, she sucked quickly the closest one and Clarke arched as she felt the swift tongue of Lexa draw circles around the areola. Lexa sucked and nipped with her teeth the sensitive flesh. Feasting like a king would in a banquet.

Lexa kept her attention in one breast with her mouth and with her thumb she played with the puckered nip in the other.

“Lex?”

“Huh?” Lexa removed herself worried that it was too much.

“Let me see you.” Clarke requested.

Lexa nodded.

Clarke stood up and observed as Lexa removed her shirt, next she pulled her sweatpants.

“Babe, you’re gorgeous but I’m gonna need you to eat some more. I can see you’ve lost weight. Did you even eat properly while on tour? I know Titus can be a dickhead and rush you.” Clarke finished removing her leggings until she was with just the skimpy white lace underwear. She climbed the bed and reached for Lexa’s hand. “I’m not mad, just worried. I should have noticed.”

“I forgot to eat sometimes.” Lexa shrugged, her eyes glued to Clarke’s new stylish underwear set.

“Well, I’m not letting that happen again. I want you healthy, baby And you do know how to boost someone’s confidence. I missed the way you looked at me as if I was the best thing you ever saw.” Clarke gently pushed Lexa on the mattress.

“I mean, you’re... wow. That’s a nice surprise.” Lexa stuttered because she just couldn’t articulate a word when she had this woman almost naked over her.

“Good sign,” Clarke hooked her fingers in Lexa’s underwear. “Can I remove this?”

“Yes.” Lexa closed her eyes and soon felt Clarke’s hands sliding over her legs whilst getting rid of her panties. Lexa had goosebumps all over due to the excitement and nervousness of having Clarke touching her in this way.

“Are you ready?”

“Clarke, just fuck me!” Lexa whined.

Clarke laughed kissing Lexa’s thighs. “I will make love to you, Lexa. Because this is what we’re doing. I’m going to love you in the best way I can.”

Lexa smiled and pulled Clarke for a quick kiss.

“I love you too, with all my heart.”

“I wouldn’t expect less, Miss Woods.” Clarke grinned wickedly and moved between Lexa’s legs and holy shit, Lexa was not ready to be welcomed with the swipe of Clarke’s tongue between her drenched folds.

“Fuck!”

“Mmmm so wet,” Clarke mumbled and kept moving her tongue. “Tasty!”

Lexa shut her eyes hard, fisting the sheets on the side to avoid hurting Clarke or pulling from her hair. It was too much but also not enough.

She spread her legs wider to give Clarke all the access to her pussy.

“Claaarke,” Lexa moaned.

Clarke’s tongue began a slow circular motion around the erect nub of nerves between Lexa’s legs.

“_Agh_, shit!” Lexa cried, moving her hips towards Clarke to get more friction.

“I got you, baby. It’s okay.” Clarke said and soon Lexa was filled with two fingers that slipped easily into her tight channel. Clarke’s tongue was lapping her clit with just the tip which was driving Lexa mad as Clarke began a slow pumping rhythm.

“You’re crushing my fingers, babe. I love it!” Clarke praised and returned to work diligently.

Still, it was a lot, and Lexa was going to come in just a matter of seconds.

“Oh fuck!”

Clarke began pumping faster, sucking hard, using a bit of teeth and then easing the pain with her tongue.

“Clarke, Clarke, CLAAAARKE!” Lexa chanted but she was going to fall and very hard. “Ooooh my Gooooood!” she screamed.

Clarke was pistoning in and out while giving to Lexa’s clit the sucking of her life, eyes on Lexa enjoying every expression of pleasure that she could bring out of the brunette.

“Easy, gorgeous. I’ve got you.” Clarke said, bringing Lexa down slowly and tenderly. 

Lexa groaned and grabbed a nearby pillow to cover her face in embarrassment.

Clarke chuckled and slid right back next to Lexa, “Come on, babe. Let me see you.”

“Go away!” Lexa replied, still hiding her face.

Clarke laughed, she sucked her fingers moaning at the flavor pulling the pillow away from Lexa.

“Babe, don’t hide your pretty flushed face. You’ve no idea how many nights I dreamed of seeing you like this.”

“Clarke, I didn’t even last a minute!” Lexa pouted, completely embarrassed.

“Sweetheart, it’s fine. We’ve been pretty much celibate, right?” Clarke arched her brow, her cheeks were pink with a sheen of sweat and her hair completely messed up, but Clarke was beyond beautiful. It was pure perfection.

“Very,” Lexa assured.

“See? I’m gonna cum in 5 seconds as soon as you ravage me with your mouth. No big deal.” Clarke pulled herself up, moving towards Lexa and kissing her deeply. “And once we get back into our usual rhythm I promise you we’ll perform way better.”

“That means we need to have a lot of sex, Clarke.” Lexa added as she enveloped Clarke in her arms.

“Yup, lots of sex. Everywhere!” Clarke winked.

Lexa snorted. “Wow, Griffin. You’re pretty confident about having the stamina to do it everywhere. I feel tired already.”

“We can take a nap, then we eat, and then we’ll go for round 2. I can go all night long, Miss Woods. I’m here on business.” Clarke began tracing random patterns with her fingertips along the curve of Lexa’s waist, making her shiver. Kissing the old scars that Lexa had over her body, the horror of the past forgotten but not erased from Lexa’s body.

“That sounds like a challenge.”

“You up for it?”

“Always.”

-oo-

“Oh God!” Clarke dug her nails on Lexa’s back as Lexa kept grinding her clit against Clarke’s. The friction was smooth by how wet they both were.

The lewd sounds in that bedroom would make anyone blush, the creaking of the bed and the small tap of the headboard on the wall would scar anyone for life. Luckily no one was around the Griffin-Woods rented cabin.

Lexa was already faltering in her rhythm though, panting deeply for breath. Lexa’s arms held her weight slightly off Clarke whilst her hips kept smashing forward.

Clarke raised one of her legs anchoring it into Lexa, opening herself more to the grind of her wife.

“Aah aah aaaah!”

Lexa began kissing Clarke wildly as if she was sucking the life out of the blonde underneath her. Clarke bit Lexa’s lip in return and started squeezing one of her bouncing breasts.

“Harder! Yes, Lexa. I’m almost there!”

Increasing the speed of her thrusts, Lexa put more pressure on her pelvic bone and sought Clarke’s shoulder and neckline to kiss and bite.

“_Klarke_, I’m gonna....”

“Me too, Lex. Shit!”

Lexa gasped, shutting her eyes hard as her body convulsed and soon Clarke followed not too far with a silent scream.

Lexa’s weight dropped fully on Clarke as her arms gave in, so the brunette rolled off her wife and into the mattress.

“Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” Clarke was so out of breath Lexa worried Clarke might faint.

“It’s just Lexa.” Lexa smirked making Clarke burst into laughter.

Lexa rolled into her shoulder to be able to look at Clarke, she leaned over and kissed her, slipping her tongue inside.

No, their tongues didn’t battle for dominance who does that anyway - it was a slow tango at best.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to get up tomorrow, Lex.” Clarke yawned.

“I’m fine staying here all day, Clarke.” Lexa took a peek at the clock on the bedside, it was way past their bedtime. “I think you broke my wrist while you were riding my fingers.”

Lexa sneaked closer to Clarke, needing to feel her wife skin to skin.

“Sorry baby,” Clarke kissed Lexa’s hand with care. “Does it hurt too much?”

“A bit.”

“Okay, if you don’t get better we’ll go get you checked at the hospital.”

“It’s not that bad, Clarke.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s shoulder. “I just need to rest.”

“Hmm, ‘kay. That was so fucking good. Seriously, not even in my wildest dreams I could picture us like this.”

“I’m happy we tried again.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s shoulder and spooned her.

“Me too.”

“I was nervous,” Lexa admitted softly.

“Same. I thought you wouldn’t find me sexy anymore.” Clarke confessed.

“Gosh no! Never!” Lexa reassured her by dropping more kisses on her neck and pressing herself closer. “I’m sorry if my distance made you feel that I didn’t desire you, Clarke. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Thinking about me or my breasts?”

Lexa snorted, “Both?”

Clarke giggled shaking her head, slotting herself deeper into the cocoon offered by Lexa.

“Do you think we’re gonna be fine?” Clarke turned around to be able to see Lexa face to face.

Lexa booped her nose with Clarke and with honesty she answered.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to learn to navigate our personal responsibilities with our life. We did a poor job the first time things got complicated. I think couples’ therapy can come in handy to be able to fully stand on our feet.”

Clarke began tracing the tattoo on Lexa’s arm. “I agree. I rather go to marriage counseling and work on everything we need than go through that hell again, babe.”

“Then, we’ll be fine.” Lexa smiled. “We must be strong for our family. We’re going to be mothers, Clarke.”

“Yup.” Clarke yawned again, stretching a bit. “Nothing will ruin this. Not my ego, not McCreary, nobody. I promise.”

“Sleep well, my love. Tomorrow we’ll continue strengthening our bond.”

Clarke snorted. “You’re a sap. Yes, tomorrow we’ll continue having wild, very intense, mind-blowing sex!”

“You’re so crass, Clarke! Geez.”

“That’s why you’re the romance writer, not me.” Clarke cuddled into Lexa and soon her breathings became fully relaxed.

  
  


Lexa was beaming, and she felt such peace after so many months of being at war with Clarke. Yes, this was not the fix to their problems. They were just starting again. However, Lexa was going to do anything to stop hurting her wife and soon to be daughter.

They deserved her fully.

Alexandria already fulfilled her role. Lexa didn’t need her anymore. It was time to let go and focus on what really mattered to her.

Her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a good time, don't forget to keep wearing a mask whenever you leave your home. Protect yourself and others!
> 
> Going into the last batch of this series, not much left friends, thank you for being here with me in this journey. Remember to key an eye on the tags for they will be making their full appearance in the last couple of chapters.
> 
> Hugs,
> 
> Tanagariel


	12. Chapter 12

It definitely was morning if Lexa considered the rays of light that filtered through the curtains. She could hear the sounds of some birds chirping as well, meaning it was definitely later than she thought. Lexa was hurting everywhere, but not in a bad way. It was like one of those days after an intense workout at the gym.

She suddenly felt a warm tongue licking her cheek.

“Claaarke, seriously? I’m dead. I can’t lift a finger. Go back to sleep, love.” Lexa mumbled and reached for the covers Clarke stole during the night to make herself more comfortable.

Again, she felt the wetness of Clarke’s tongue on her back which was making Lexa ticklish.

“Clarke?”

Lexa refused to open her eyes or else her sleep was going to be completely ruined. Next thing Lexa feels is a heavy breath on her face. “Uhm, Clarke babe? You know I love you even with dragon morning breath but damn, this is awful.”

Lexa opened a single eye.

“You’re not Clarke.”

Lexa blinked trying to adjust her sight to the semi-darkness of the room and sat up in the bed, wiping the sleepiness from her face.

“Aahm, Clarke? Why is there a dirty dog with paint splatters on the bed?” Lexa asked louder seeing that she was alone in the bedroom.

No answer.

Lexa looked at the clever friendly eyes of the dog with its tiny floppy ears, because by its enthusiasm it couldn’t be too old yet. Maybe 2 or 3 years old Lexa guessed. She noticed it had no collar and it had golden hair stained with several colors of paint, basically a very smelly dog. It was wagging its golden tail playfully as if waiting for Lexa to do anything to play.

“Okay, Picasso. Let’s find my wife first.” 

Lexa rolled off the bed and reached for her bag to grab some underwear and clean clothing. She walked to the restroom to brush her teeth and wash her face.

Lexa looked at her reflection.

“Shit, I don’t think showing up to work with a bunch of hickeys will do me any good.” Lexa grabbed her toothpaste and spread it on her brush.

She was quick to finish and checked on the dog patiently waiting for her on the side.

“Okay, buddy. Let’s find Clarke.”

Lexa walked towards the kitchen, the golden retriever right behind her, but Clarke was not there.

“Clarke?” Lexa noticed the door was left ajar. “Aha! That’s how you sneaked in, fella.” Lexa pushed the door open and spotted Clarke in the forest area talking on the phone.

She approached silently, avoiding disturbing Clarke.

“Yes, honey. We’re going to pick you up in just a couple of hours so listen to Abby and be ready on time.” Clarke giggled. “Yes, Madi. I know, we love you too.” Clarke ended her call and turned around.

Clarke stopped, tilting her head. “Lexa, where did you get that dog?”

“It woke me up.” Lexa eyed the golden retriever as the dog wagged its tail. “I think Picasso here was left behind or got lost.”

“Picasso? It doesn’t have a tag.” Clarke knelt and began calling the dog.

“First name it came to mind when I saw how dirty it was with spots of paint. Reminded me of you when you work.” Lexa smiled seeing how the dog jumped towards Clarke completely happy and playful.

“Oh what a good girl,” Clarke cooed.

Lexa frowned, “A girl? I uh, didn't notice.”

“Really!?” Clarke rolled her eyes lifting the dog in her arms showing Lexa their underside. “I think it’s pretty clear.”

“I wasn’t looking for anything dangly, Clarke.” Lexa huffed rolling her eyes in a playful manner.

“You don’t mind her, Picasso. You’re such a good baby girl!” Clarke began ruffling the dirty golden mane of the jumping dog. 

Of course Clarke was already enchanted with the dog. Lexa just smiled knowing that they were going to take her home.

“I’m gonna ask the administrators and see if she has owners, if there is nothing we’ll take her back with us.” Lexa announced, relaxing her stance.

“Yeah?” Clarke was beaming, making Lexa’s heart skip a beat.

She nodded in response.

“I just spoke with Madi. She’s really having a good time. Was talking nonstop of the robot she and Raven built yesterday.” Clarke walked to Lexa, kissing her good morning.

“As long as nothing blows up I’m happy with it.” Lexa rested her hands on Clarke’s hips.

“Madi is going to get crazy with Picasso!” Clarke laced her hands behind Lexa’s neck bringing her close.

“No doubt. She’s going to be very happy if Picasso comes home with us.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek. 

“You know? I was thinking last night that if we’re going to expand our family the apartment is not good enough. I want Madi to grow up in a house with a pretty backyard and a bigger workshop for you.”

“Seriously?”

Lexa nodded, “Yup. I want a beautiful, suburban home with a picket fence and a pretty garden where we can start a new life. Together. A place to grow old with you.”

“Sounds really nice, but can we really do that investment now?” Clarke wondered. “I’m just starting to get more commissions and Polis Magazine is still in the red zone, right?”

Lexa hummed, thinking about the numbers of Polis. “I need to check some things first but I believe I can get us a home to raise our kids and dog.”

Clarke perked her brow. “Kids?”

Lexa smiled “Sure. I mean, if I could impregnate you, last night I would have totally scored.”

Clarke punched her arm playfully. “You're getting cocky on me, Woods. Sounds perfect though. I think we can start building a new future for all of us.”

“I love you, Clarke. Thanks for making me the happiest woman on Earth.”

Clarke kissed her slowly, breaking apart just to look at each other.

“Thank you for loving me the way you do.”

_WOOF WOOF!_

“Okay, girl. Let’s get you something to eat while Lexa goes to the office.” Clarke ruffled the head of the dog. “I’ll make breakfast before we start packing.”

“Be right back.” Lexa waved and began her trail towards the main camp office.

-oo-

Being back home with her wife, kid and now dog, was nothing that could have crossed Lexa’s mind after the turmoil of the past year, but after confirming that indeed, the golden retriever had no chip and the vet provided all the vaccines and care Picasso needed, they went back to the penthouse.

Lexa finally dared to check her emails and was glad that she had Gaia on her payroll or else the amount of work would have overwhelmed her.

Lexa sent some replies that didn’t require much of her attention to then make some calls.

“Hey Anya. How’s it going?” Lexa leaned in her leather chair rubbing her eyes. “It went really well. We’re going to continue focusing on our marriage. Aha, I know.” Lexa nodded as if Anya could see her, “I was hoping you could send me the info of your realtor. I need a new place for my growing family.” At that Lexa smiled. “I got a dog now to care for. Yup, a golden retriever we found in the campsite and-”

_CRASH!_

Lexa stood up from her chair hearing the clear sound of breaking glassware “I uh, I’ll call you later to go out and drink. Need to check on my fam. Bye.” Lexa put her cellphone in her pocket and ran down the stairs.

“What happened?” Lexa asked.

“Madi here was throwing a ball to Picasso and she ended up hitting the flower vase,” Clarke explained, moving the dog away from the visible shards before she picked up the broom.

“Madi, you okay?” Lexa looked at the little brunette on top of the sofa.

“I’m sorry.” She pouted.

Lexa got closer to Madi. “Hey, don’t worry. We can replace the vase. You didn’t get hurt?” Lexa checked the girl for injuries, breathing easy now that there was not a single drop of blood.

Madi shook her head negatively.

“Okay kiddo, maybe we should save our energies for the weekend so we all can go with Picasso to the park. Would you like that?” Lexa asked.

“Really?” Madi’s eyes got bigger in excitement.

“Yes little Heda, now go to your bedroom and play there while I help Clarke clean up, okay?”

Madi jumped back to the floor and ran happily with Picasso following with excitement to her room.

“Are you alright?” Lexa began picking up some big shards, tossing them in the trash can.

“Yeah.”

Clarke swept all the floor twice before getting rid of the broken vase.

“I have to go to the office now. I’m going to have a meeting with Gaia but please call me if you need anything, okay?” Lexa circled Clarke’s waist and kissed the apple of her cheek. “Anya will give us her realtor contact so we can start checking a new place asap.”

“Sure and ahm, If I have to hear from anyone else that someone tried to stab you in your office, it’s me who’s going to kill you, Woods.”

Lexa gulped, taking a step back smiling sheepishly.

“Anya is a bigger gossip than I ever imagined.”

“Well, on her defense. Costia is her wife and as we learned, it’s good to be honest with your significant other.”

Lexa chuckled nodding in affirmation. “Touché.”

“Babe, seriously. _Be careful._ Some of Alexandria's fans sound really unhinged. I know that social media sometimes is way too crazy, but the things I’ve read make my skin crawl. You don’t have to keep things from me, baby. If some nutjob tries to hurt you I want to know that you’re okay.”

Lexa tipped Clarke’s chin up. “Hey, there’s nothing to be worried about. I’m safe but I’ll be extra careful. I promise.”

“Good. I’ll probably go check things at Eden and I’ll drop Madi and Picasso with my mom, they have more space to play safely there.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you later then.” Lexa leaned down and kissed Clarke. The two smiling with full happiness and just enjoying this reconnection.

“I swear to you that our family is my priority, Clarke. If things don’t improve in Polis I won’t use Alexandria as a crutch. That’s not who I want to be. I didn’t become an English Lit major to pose for cameras.”

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face tenderly. “Lexa, you know I’ll support you. If you want to stop with the column or take a break from Alexandria it’s fine. I want you to love writing like you used to do. I want to see that spark when you wrote a new draft and showed it to me with pride.”

“Thanks for having my back. I love you.”

Lexa kissed once more her wife before heading to grab her things and meet with Gaia.

It was time to reorganize her professional life once and for all.

-oo-

Lexa walked into her office with a lightweightness, with such liberty that it was as if she removed some shackles from her body. She smiled at Maya and waved at Ryder before she stepped into her office.

She sat and let out a long breath, letting herself feel this newfound peace. She booted her laptop and quickly sent a message to Gaia.

“Lexa!” Josephine entered the office. “How happy I am to see you.” The blonde was chirpy as usual, taking the available chair in front of Lexa’s desk. “I was waiting for you to share some great news.”

“I’m all ears.”

Lexa observed her business partner with more attention. Trying to understand the reason why Clarke didn’t feel at ease with her.

“I have new offers from potential sponsors so we’re going to need Alexandria-”

“Okay, no. Stop.” Lexa said firmly. “I’m glad that more brands want to be showcased in the magazine but not at the expense of Alexandria. I’m done. I’m not going to continue using Alexandria for promotions. I’ll write once a month in the magazine and the blog should be kept interesting with new topics and younger writers that deserve a chance.”

Josephine’s smile disappeared, and Lexa noticed as if she was having a small tremor in her hand, that she quickly covered with her other hand.

“But why? I thought Polis was important to you.”

“It is, Josie. But my family is my main concern. We already have enough sponsors as it is. My wife and my child deserve all of me. I hope you understand that.”

Josie leaned in her chair.” Of course I do, partner. I thought things weren’t good between you two, but I guess it was just rumored?”

“Yes, rumors. My marriage is fine and that’s all you need to know.” Lexa asserted with finality, leaving no doubt about it.

“Hmm, that’s interesting.” Josephine stood again, smiling again but with some extra tension. “I guess I’ll have to catch up with Clarke again. She’s a wonderful woman, Lexa. You’re so lucky!”  
“Yes, I am.” Lexa offered a polite smile in return. “I’ll get back to work then. If I have some new ideas I’ll let you know.”  
Josephine left it at that when not a minute later Gaia was coming inside the office.

“Hey, Lexa! I assume things went well?” Gaia asked.

Lexa nodded, not being able to fight that smile that appeared just thinking about how wonderful her short weekend escapade had been.

“It was great, thanks Gaia. What do you have for me?”

“We need to have a chat. Come on the sofa, it will be more comfortable.”

Lexa called Maya to instruct her to not pass her any calls or have any interruptions.

Lexa joined Gaia on the couch of her office, pouring some water into a glass to drink.

“What did you find?” Lexa took a sip and waited for Gaia to deliver the information.

Gaia opened a file on the table and began her report. “I asked for a new report from the finances department, only people hired by us and indeed got confirmation of a payment not registered in our expenses. We're talking about almost $50k to this date.”

“Who and why?”

“Ryker Desai was ordered by Josephine. Why? He wouldn’t know. He said he was only asked to send every month a money transfer to a Swiss account.”  
Lexa licked her lips, trying to understand what was happening. “Josephine is filthy rich. Why steal from the company she partly owns?”

“I wondered the same. It doesn’t make sense unless her sole goal is actually to cause the bankruptcy of Polis in a way that would be easy to blame to the competition and the financial situation.” Gaia offered a possible hypothesis.

“Do we know if the account belongs to her?” Lexa inquired.

Gaia kept looking for information for a couple of minutes until she found what she was looking for. “The most I managed to find was that the money goes to Alpha Pharmaceuticals. It’s a company that develops medical tech and innovative medication using genetic engineering, I didn’t look too deep but I can do that now.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes, leaning in and drinking some more liquid. “Okay, try to find more about this company if you can. I’ll have to check Josephine’s office and see if there is anything that can point us to the truth. Thank you, Gaia. Please get rid of Desai and any other of her tools. If Josephine hears we are snooping things could get complicated.”

“Will do.”  
“Thanks, Gaia.” Lexa patted Gaia’s shoulder and returned to her desk.

She still had a lot of time before Josephine left for whatever it is she does after work. Sighing, Lexa put on her reading glasses and began to reply to emails and read the content on the blog.

_________________

Clarke stood up in front of Eligius after she left Madi with Abby to finish some homework and Picasso. Clarke has been thinking over and over about the connection between McCreary and Diyoza and her best bet was to find answers in Eligius Gallery.

Adjusting her jacket tighter Clarke moved into the local, acting as any customer would do - looking at the available art.

Clarke was surprised there weren't many canvases or sculptures considering they had a bigger place than Eden.

“Are you looking for anything in particular?”

A man with clear boredom by his disinterested expression approached her.

“Just looking around but um, what is the latest collection you’re exhibiting?” Clarke asked, showing attentiveness.

“Ahm, I don’t remember the name. It’s uh, it’s one of those painters.” The guy explained poorly.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll take a look around anyways.” Clarke offered a shiny smile. “Thank you for your help. I’ll stop by if I have another question.” Once the guy returned to his desk Clarke continued looking around.

She kept walking around observing the very expensive canvases and the emptiness of the place. Once Clarke concluded her tour, she decided to check again with the bored guy.

“Hey, I noticed you have an interesting canvas in the west hall. Can you see if there is any other work by this artist?” Clarke leaned into the desk, smiling sweetly.

“Ah, what art? In the west hall? I uh can you show me?”

“Seriously?” Clarke arched her brow getting annoyed by how useless this clerk was. “Okay, let me show you.”

In a matter of minutes, Clarke showed a random canvas, hoping to see what kind of organization they had in this place. By the looks of it, it was clear this gallery was anything but an art gallery.

“So?” Clarke asked the guy who was typing on the computer after checking the art. “Who’s the artist? Any chance you’ll showcase more of their work?” Clarke tapped her boot on the floor. Starting to show impatience. Getting ready to become a ‘Karen’ for the sake of the hunch she had.

“I’m not sure, ma’am. The uh, catalog? It’s not that updated. My co-worker probably didn’t check the latest art I guess.”

Clarke sighed, “Whatever. I guess I’ll go somewhere else. Thanks for your time.”

Clarke walked out of the local and pulled her cellphone, getting immediately a familiar number.

“Hey Rae, I need a big favor.”

“What’s up, Clarke? Need my genius or just wanna get drunk?” Raven answers as usual with her smugness.

“None. I need you to dig information about Eligius Gallery. They have paintings of some Kaylee Lee, but I’ve never in my life heard of her. Paintings over $5k from an unknown doesn’t sound to be legit. I think these people are doing some illegal shit here.”

“Clarke, please tell me you’re not dealing with someone from the mob or a gang. The last time we got involved, Cage Wallace almost killed Lexa and Anya and I got a fucked up leg.”

“I know. I just wanna know what’s up with this gallery.”

“Okay. Just be careful Griff.”

“No worries, just-” Clarke stopped on her tracks seeing Diyoza walking with McCreary into the back of the gallery. “I’ll call you later, bye.” Clarke ended the call and moved stealthily, trying to get some idea of what those two were pretty much arguing about.

Clarke tried to get closer, moving behind a truck to try to get a clue at whatever those two were clearly arguing about.

It was hard to see but at least something could be heard. Clarke pressed her body to the front of the truck trying to get as close as she could.

“It’s dangerous, Paxton. We already have that woman involved and now she wants us to risk everything?”

“It’s under control.”

“I’m not so sure about that!”

“Let’s instead focus on what we need to do, shall we? And geez, don’t you dare puke on the floor woman. Come on...” McCreary said and that’s all Clarke could hear.

“Something is definitely wrong. Better go back to Eden and then I’ll talk with Raven.”

-oo-

“Dead?” Clarke asked, frowning as she processed the information Raven provided.

“Yup, Kaylee Lee died years ago. A stroke it seems.”

“And she doesn’t paint?”

“Nothing that I can confirm BUT!” Raven raised her hand, “this is where it gets interesting, she was best friends with Josephine Lightbourne.”

Clarke opened her mouth to say something but there was nothing that came to her mind.

“Aaaand no other family left. Her whole family died too.”

“Woah, that’s weird. Why does Eligius have her ‘work’? Also the high prices for an unknown, even when McCreary is a well-known critic, that doesn’t make any sense.” Clarke asked, very confused.

Raven lifted one shoulder, as she kept typing on her laptop. “Wish I knew. However, I do have to tell you that their paperwork doesn’t seem right. Whoever did this is good, but they’re not Raven Reyes. Give me a minute.” Raven typed some more. Narrowing her eyes she stared at the screen. “Oh, of course…”

“What?” Clarke leaned closer but she had no clue what she was seeing on Raven’s computer screen

“Shaw did this.”

“Your ex?”

“Yeah, this is his work no doubt about it.”

“He works for Diyoza, and Diyoza is with McCreary. Makes sense.”

“He really isn’t as good as I thought. This is fake Clarke. And by the looks of it, smells like money laundering to me. The trail is there if you know where to look. Some money is being deviated to Alpha Pharmaceuticals. That doesn’t make sense, art and pharma?” Raven turned around in her swivel chair and took Clarke’s hand.

“Clarke.” Raven eyed her best friend. “Don’t jump into some weird shit, please. It all sounds like trouble.”

“I won’t. I’m simply curious about what’s the connection between Josie and Diyoza.”

“You be careful, Griffin. I’m outta here. Gotta get ready for a date!” Raven winked and began leaving the office.

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Wait a sec! A date? Reyes, you’re seeing someone new and you kept quiet?”

“You’re not going to freak out or anything, right?” Raven stopped at the door with a huge grin on her face.

“Why would I freak out?” Clarke tilted her head. She snapped her fingers. “I know them!?”

“You remember Echo’s cousin?”

“NO FUCKING WAY!” Clarke stood up in shock. Hand covering her mouth.

“Way.” Raven smiled.

“Luna’s back? Since when? Hold on, when did you meet?” Clarke started to shoot question after question.

Raven scratched her forehead. “Uuuh, a couple of weeks ago she came to visit Echo. You know, before she pops lil’ Blake out of her vagina. I was fixing Bell’s laptop and she was there. We talked and have been texting for a while.”

“That’s cool. I’m glad you two connected, but wow. It’s really been a while since I last saw her.” Clarke chuckled remembering her early youth days living like there was no tomorrow. It was a lot back then. “Hope you two have fun. You better spill later, Rae.”  
Raven nodded. “Will do, Griff. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“You know me. Have fun!”

Clarke returned to her desk when her phone rang.

“Hey, babe. How are you?” Clarke answered by noticing the caller ID right away. “Oh, I see. Something wrong?” Clarke sat in her chair and began typing in the search box information about Josephine’s friend.

“Alright, Lex. Just don’t take too long, please? Madi and Picasso are at my mom’s. Sure, I love you too.” Clarke ended the call.

“Well, let’s see what else I can find about you Miss Kaylee Lee.” Clarke began typing in her computer.

_______________

Lexa waited until most of the floor was empty, and since she stayed always until late hours no one suspected she was going to enter her business partner’s office.

She moved as fast as she could and entered the large office. Lexa opened the different drawers, noticing there was nothing but papers and files.

She booted the laptop hoping there was anything there, but it was password locked.

“Of course it wasn’t going to be easy.” Lexa sat and started to scan the different files that she found. “Why does Josie have so much work here? What on earth has she been doing all this time? Sonofabitch!”

Lexa continued opening every file or report inside the mahogany desk. Lexa was simply stunned by the amount of paperwork left behind, as if Josephine didn’t give a single fuck about the magazine when it was Lexa’s life. Lexa was not just frustrated, but now she was seriously angry.

“If there’s nothing here I’ll bring this to the next board meeting, I don’t give a shit she owns most of the actions of this company, she won’t treat it like a hobby.”

Lexa kept digging every file to find herself empty-handed. She looked around the office and moved to the file cabinet hoping Josephine would slip anything that would point to her stealing money. Lexa tried to go as fast as possible, eyeing any potential out of place document but so far nothing.

_DING DING!_

Lexa pulled her cellphone out to check the text.

**ClarkeGW: **Lexa I need you to come home asap. Lawyer called! Paperwork is ready. Social worker will be coming home tomorrow morning.

“Oh my…” Lexa closed the cabinet and took one more peek around the office.

**LexaGW: **omw

“Oh boy. I’m officially Madi’s mom.” Lexa said shocked.

Just when Lexa was about to leave the office the sound of notification bell tone disrupted the silent office.

Lexa returned to Josephine’s desk and opened the lowest drawer where she found a hidden phone under a bunch of papers.

There was a single text post.

“Gabriel Santiago was found in Shadow Valley, deep inside The Children of Gabriel, waiting orders to proceed,” Lexa mumbled.

She put the phone back in its place and left the office.

“What the hell are you doing Josie?”

-oo-

Lexa reached her floor level and pulled out her keys, opening the door to her home. Lexa was trying to understand what was really going on with Josephine and why she was involved with this Alpha Pharmaceuticals.

Lexa knew this was only the tip of the iceberg, and her only way to find answers was to find this Gabriel Santiago.

Lexa shut the door and removed her jacket, tossing it over the hanger and leaving her keys into the bowl over the side table.

“Lexa!”

Clarke came running down the stairs and crashed into Lexa’s arms.

Lexa embraced Clarke pulling her tight against her chest. “I can’t believe it’s done?”

“Lawyer dropped the documents and the new birth certificate earlier in the lobby. We’re Madi’s moms!” Clarke cried, peppering kisses all over Lexa’s face.

“Does she know?”

“Not yet.” Clarke beamed, “She’s in her bedroom with Picasso. I was hoping we could tell her together.”

Lexa lifted Clarke and twirled her around smiling widely.

“The social worker is coming tomorrow to close Madi’s case.”

Lexa’s heart felt heavy with love and happiness. This moment was something that she never thought possible considering how her relationship went downhill the past year, but this was a sign that things were going to be better for all of them.

“Let’s get our daughter, Clarke. I want Madi to be there with us when we show her the certificate.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s lips and wiped the happy tears from her face.

“Okay, I’ll be in your office in a minute with our kid.”

Lexa skipped several stairs all the way to her bedroom, changing the office clothes into something more comfortable. Next, she headed into her office and took the folder over the desk, she read the copies of their petition properly sealed and approved. Her heart beamed reading that Lexa Griffin-Woods was the adoptive parent of Madi.

“Babe, we’re here.” Clarke announced from the door with the little girl holding her hand.

“Hi, Lexa. Clarke said we have a party?” The blue sleepy eyes looked at Lexa with such innocence and love, that Lexa knew she was going to do everything to keep her daughter safe and loved.

“Yes, pumpkin. We’re having a special party!” Lexa sat and invited Madi and Clarke into the office sofa.

Clarke sat with Madi in her lap. She offered her hand to Lexa and Lexa held it back.

“Madi, since you came into our lives you made me and Lexa so happy.” Clarke began, “we wanted to make sure we could continue to be part of your life and so we adopted you.”

The blonde artist's eyes watered and Madi immediately worried. “Is that bad?”

Clarke sniffed, shaking her head no.

“No, honey. What Clarke is saying is that you are officially part of our little family.” Lexa explained. She reached for the folder and pulled out the adoption certificate. “I know you’ve been practicing your reading. Can you read this for me?” Lexa showed the document and Madi focused on it.

“This certi- certifies that Madison Alexandra Griffin-Woods has been adop-adopted…” Madi tilted her head squeezing her brows together.

“Go on!” Clarke encouraged grinning from ear to ear.

“Adopted into the Griffin-Woods fa-mi-ly.” Madi looked at Clarke then at Lexa. “Are you my mommas now?”

Clarke was now crying from happiness, she nodded. “Yes, baby. We are your mommies now. You’re our baby.”

Madi’s lower lip trembled and she began crying, turning around and circling Clarke as much as she could with her little short arms.

Lexa scooted closer and pulled the two girls into her arms. “You’re our little Heda permanently, Madi. No one will take you away from us.” Lexa said, kissing the mop of brown curls of her child.

“I have two mommas!” Madi shouted excited. “We have party!”

Lexa chuckled, “Yes, baby. We’ll party tonight!”

-oo-

Lexa opened her eyes slowly, stretching carefully not to disturb the little girl sleeping in between her mothers.

The older brunette sat and leaned into the headboard, looking at the sleeping child and her wife on the side. The perfect picture if you asked Lexa.

The family had a little celebration with a Disney movie and popcorn and soon the little girl fell asleep. Of course, what better way to celebrate than in bed with her mothers?

“Hey.”

Lexa smiled hearing the groggy, deep voice of her wife in the morning.

“Morning. Did you sleep well?” Lexa asked, seeing how Madi was bent, not giving much space for Clarke.

Clarke chuckled, “It was fine.”

Clarke pulled the blankets away and removed herself from the bed. She grabbed her robe and put it on around her pjs, making a quick stop to Lexa’s side of the bed.

Clarke leaned in and pecked Lexa briefly on the lips.

“I’m making breakfast, can you send her to shower and dress?”

“Sure. I’ll get her ready. I suppose the social worker wants to make sure Madi understood it all?”

“Yeah, I think they need to close her file as well but it’s short. Then I’ll drive Madi to school.”

“I’d like to pick her up today to take her to the ice cream shop.”

“Great. Just call me if work gets busy.” Clarke leaned once more and kissed Lexa deeply.

Lexa sighed into the kiss, missing the contact quickly.

“Gosh, I’m so horny and if I could, I’d eat you right now Lex, but I’m a full-time mom and I gotta make sure our baby gets her breakfast and lunch ready before school.” Clarke smiled.

“Don’t worry, Clarke. I promise we’ll find the time for us too. I love you.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s hand once more before letting her go.

“Time to wake this little sleepy Heda now.” Lexa glanced at Madi heavily asleep. She leaned into the girl and began dropping a rain of kisses until the girl began giggling.

“Morning sweetheart. Time for a shower!” Lexa announced with excitement, trying to infuse with energy the small brunette. “Mommy is making breakfast for you right now. What do you say we hurry up and get ready?”

Madi rubbed her eyes and looked at Lexa. “Clarke is my mommy and Lexa is my momma!”

“Yes, we are. Now let’s get moving or the food is going to get cold when we arrive!”

-oo-

Lexa arrived in her office beaming that it was so noticeable by everyone around.

“Good morning, Maya!” Lexa greeted her assistant. “Please make sure to order pizza for lunch for everyone!”

Maya, clearly confused, frowned.

“We’re celebrating today, Polis family.” Lexa’s voice boomed on the whole floor. “I’m officially a mother and today we welcome little Madi as my daughter!”

“Oh my God!” Ryder jumped immediately from his desk. “Congratulations boss!” The big photographer went to shake Lexa’s hand. Soon, many more congratulations came from her employees and it was such a great feeling to share.

“Thank you everyone, now let’s get to work and don’t forget. Lunch is on me!” Lexa waved and walked to her office, dropping her briefcase right over her desk.

She was in eternal bliss, the smile on her face stuck in place and Lexa couldn’t contain the emotion in her chest, knowing that she had a wife and a kid waiting for her at home.

“Heard the news,” Josephine strode inside Lexa’s office. “Congratulations are in order, Lexa.”

“Thank you, Josephine.” Lexa replied coolly. “I was hoping we could discuss some serious things with the board of directors, Josie.”

Josephine cocked her hip to the side, crossing her arms over her chest. “Such as?”

“A money leak, does that ring a bell?”

“I’m not following, Lexa. What are you saying?” Josephine was serious now. Her posture is pretty defensive by the looks of it.

Lexa leaned into her desk, lacing her fingers together. “I think you know. I’d like to understand why Alpha Pharmaceuticals is getting our money when we don’t have any business or sponsorship with any medical facility. We don’t support the development of experimental drugs, much less anything that can harm a person.”

Josephine smiled, “It’s part of a special program. Don’t worry, Lexa. I’ll explain everything in the next meeting, I’m just waiting for some results. I promise there is nothing to be concerned with. Now you enjoy your day. I’ll see you around.”

Josephine left, leaving Lexa wondering if it was a good idea to confront Josephine without much evidence but the lost money. However, she knew that Gabriel Santiago was the one who could offer answers.

Lexa began to review some mails when she found the one she was waiting for.

“Let’s see.” Lexa opened the email and found the information she requested to one of her reporters for a ‘special’ assignment. An old picture of Gabriel Santiago attached in a group picture. “Josephine, her father and Gabriel in a place surrounded by trees. Probably a vacation.”

The man was lean and tall, with short black hair and a white forelock on top, also he sported a beard and mustache in the picture.

“Had a clinic in Shadow Valley. Maybe Madi knows where this clinic is.” Lexa packed her things and headed out of her office.

“Maya, I’m out to do some errands and I don’t think I’ll be back to work. Pass any calls to Gaia please.” With that Lexa got into the elevator hoping this man was the way to unravel Josephine’s real purpose with Polis.

____________

Clarke decided to confront Diyoza, the information already was enough to raise alarms about Eligius and definitely Josephine being involved was something that couldn’t be a mere coincidence. 

“Hi, I need to speak with Ms. Diyoza.” Clarke announced herself. “It’s Clarke Griffin. I don’t have an appointment, but I really need to speak to her. Tell her it is about Eligius.”

The assistant sent the message. “You should wait a bit, Ms. Griffin. Please seat.”

Clarke obeyed and sat in the lobby, but as the clock on the wall started to move Clarke knew Diyoza might be waiting for her to just go away.

Instead, Clarke decided to go for another alternative.

Clarke approached the desk of the secretary again.

“Hi, it seems Diyoza is really busy huh? Tell her I’ll go with the money laundering evidence going on Eligius to Polis instead. Thanks.”

Clarke turned around and headed for the exit. She knew this was a gamble but it was all she had to bait Diyoza.

“Ms. Griffin? Ms. Diyoza will receive you on the 5th floor.”

Clarke smirked, turning back on her heel on her way to the elevator. “Of course she will. Thanks.” Clarke pressed the button and got ready to meet the dangerous brunette.

“Well Clarke, I’m surprised you think you know-”

“Oh, but I do.” Clarke cut the woman approaching her like a predator ready to pounce on its prey. “I saw you the other day at Eligius with McCreary arguing. Things are getting out of control huh? You two are in some shady biz at the gallery and considering one of your most notorious artists is an unknown dead person who never painted in their life, plus the fake paperwork you told Shaw to make, I feel that your house of cards is about to crumble or am I wrong?”

Diyoza narrowed her eyes and decided to sit and listen.

“What do you want Clarke?”

“I understand you might want to harm your competition, but you used me to hurt Lexa. Why go personal? Why go to this extent of making sure to create this narrative between me and my wife? Unless...” Clarke relaxed and sat down in front of Diyoza.

Clarke could feel she was closer to some revelation. She could almost taste it.

She had no proof, no real evidence to do some damage but Diyoza had no clue, if Clarke could play her cards right she could get the information she needed, she just had to press some more.

“Both magazines could have coexisted in a normal competitive environment, yet you went deeper. What’s your relationship with Josephine Lightbourne?”

“Who?” Diyoza perked her brow.

“Don’t play stupid. Kaylee Lee, your very dead art prodigy who never grabbed a brush in her life was a friend of hers. Actually, now that I think about it, the art reminds me of the style of Josephine herself.”

Diyoza gulped down, wetting her lips which told Clarke she was into something.

“Clarke, you’re sounding like a conspiracy theorist. Maybe you need to relax and go home.” Diyoza suggested.

Clarke leaned forward resting her elbows on her thighs and eyeing Diyoza. “Josephine is involved in this mess; hell, I’d dare to say she’s the mastermind behind all of this. Tell me if I got it wrong: Josephine helped you and McCreary establish Eligius, selling overpriced art of unknown artists while using some local talent to maintain a facade of legitimacy. Meanwhile, you keep bashing Polis with Damocles, I assume as a way to repay Josie, but why would she want to strike the magazine she saved? I need answers Diyoza or I swear I’ll make public all of this right. Fucking. Now!”

Diyoza rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous, Clarke. Maybe it’s time for you to leave.”

Clarke was running out of time, she looked around trying to think of a way to get the answers she needed when she noticed the folic acid supplements on the table behind the desk.

“You’re pregnant.”

By how Diyoza’s face blanched Clarke knew she hit the jackpot.

“That’s why you were sick that day. McCreary has no clue and I know you don’t want to put that pregnancy in danger. That’s why you were arguing with him, you want out. Because it’s his?”

“Look, I don’t know what’s the endgame here. Lightbourne just requested to put more financial pressure on Polis. I don’t know who Kaylee is, but the blonde brought the art and said to use that name. She insisted on using you for our articles as well, I don’t know anything else.” 

Clarke hummed taking the information in. “Josephine is tearing down her own business? That doesn’t make sense. Anyway, I recommend you to disappear if you and your baby don’t want to get caught in this, Diyoza. This is a ticking bomb and you don’t wanna be around when it blows.”

Having said that, Clarke left Diyoza’s office and made her way back to Eden since Costia was going to be absent today to go to TonDC High.

There was a lot of information for Clarke to process but the gallery was first.

-oo-

Clarke checked her phone for the tenth time in case Lexa texted back, but it was still without any message or missed calls. Sighing, Clarke shut down her computer and leaned into her comfy chair. She had wanted to give a brief summary of what she found pertaining to Diyoza and Josephine, but so far Lexa was not responding to her texts. Clarke assumed her wife probably got behind work after she picked up Madi for ice cream, which was not the first time it happened. 

Tired of waiting for a response she dialed Maya to check on Lexa’s status.

“Hi Maya, it’s Clarke. Do you know if Lexa is stuck in a meeting? I can’t reach her.” Clarke tapped her pencil on the desk as she waited for Maya to communicate with her wife.

“What? Left where? Oh okay, no that’s fine. Thanks Maya.”

Clarke frowned, ending the call, wondering about Lexa’s whereabouts.

A minute later her phone showed a new notification.

“Alie security engaged?” Clarke quickly dialed Raven to check why Lexa’s car security system was activated.

“Rae, sorry to bother but can you check what’s up with Alie? Lexa has never used the emergency features before.” Clarke took a deep breath trying to relax, but something was not okay. She could feel it. She stood up and began pacing in her office waiting for Raven to track the Mustang.

“Sanctum? That’s where the Lightbourne’s live. No, I’m not gonna wait for the fucking police. I’ll call you as soon as I get to the address.”

Clarke arranged her desk and turned off the lights. Since she was closing Eden today she was the only left tonight in the gallery. She made sure that everything was properly locked and set the alarms before heading to the lobby and head to the address provided by Raven. Maybe Lexa was having car troubles, yet considering Raven tuned up Lexa’s Mustang if it was a real person she was doubtful, but it was what allowed Clarke to function properly at the moment.

“Hey, Clarke!”

Clarke jumped scared shitless as she saw Josephine in the lobby of the gallery.

“Josephine, what are you doing here? We’re closed.” Clarke asked as the other blonde who had this fake smile on her face.

“I was hoping to see my amazing friend, it’s been a while since we spent some time together.” Josephine was as usual so bubbly, but to Clarke it was really annoying.

“Sorry, but my wife is waiting for me,” Clarke replied. “I’ll escort you out.”

Clarke took a step forward ready to guide Josephine out but the woman didn’t botch.

“I think I’m not being clear, Clarke.” Josephine smiled. “You’re coming with me.”

Clarke removed her arm from Josephine’s grasp and took a step back. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Clarke, I’m being nice. Come with me.” Josephine said seriously. “Don’t want to hurt you. It would be a shame.”

“You can go fuck yourself, Josephine! I already know you’re helping Damocles destroy Polis, you bitch!”

Clarke growled, fisting her hands ready to kick the crap out of that annoying woman. Just when Clarke was about to take action a man dressed in black came out from behind holding her from taking a step further.

Josephine giggled, “Wow, it took you long enough Clarke. Even Lexa. It wasn’t hard at all once I knew where to hit you both. I wasn’t counting on you to work things out though. If only you had divorced this would have been easier.”

Clarke gulped down. “Why do you want me and Lexa to fail in our marriage? What do you want from us?”

Josephine tutted. “I don’t care about Lexa. I want you, Clarke. I’m going to become _you_. Now come with me, or else…” Josephine pulled her phone out. “I don’t want to kill Lexa. I really liked working with her. She’s beautiful, a perfect, devoted wife. If you had not interfered maybe I could’ve had a happy life with her.”

“What did you do to her!?” Clarke tried to launch herself towards the mocking blonde but the man was holding her tighter. “Where is she!?”

Josephine lifted her finger and showed the screen of her phone. In it, there was a picture of Lexa, pretty much unconscious and blood smearing her face.

Clarke felt her heart stop at once.

“What did you do!?”

Clarke's voice was shaky, she was trembling and scared for Lexa. Wondering if her child was also with Lexa, but Josephine had not mentioned her daughter.

Josephine just smiled. “Nothing much yet, but you better come with me or else I’ll have to get rid of her. Shall we?” Josephine pushed the door of the gallery open holding the door for Clarke and her goon.

Gulping down her fears, she knew that she had to comply. Her only hope was that Josephine needed her as much to bargain for her wife’s safe return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I almost forgot to update today. Anyway, good news, this fic is finally complete so fear not friends, you won't have to wait forever for this to end.  
In the meantime, I hope you are having a good time and taking lots of care. As always I appreciate your comments, some very insightful and others so funny that make me smile. Nothing beats reading your appreciation for our work, friends.
> 
> Sending positive vibes,
> 
> Tana


	13. Chapter 13

Lexa made a quick stop at Abby’s to pick up Madi. If anyone knew Shadow Valley was her daughter. With her help, maybe she could locate Dr. Santiago and find his connection to Josephine Lightbourne and Alpha Pharmaceuticals.

Lexa knocked and like a little hurricane Madi rushed towards the door opening it.

“Momma!” The little girl crashed into Lexa’s legs.

“Ow! You’re getting stronger.” Lexa kneeled to hug the small brunette, “but next time wait for grandma to open the door first, okay?”

“Okay. Ice cream now?” Madi asked, looking with excitement at Lexa.

Lexa chuckled. “Not right now, baby. I was hoping you could help me. You lived in Shadow Valley for some time, right? I need to find a doctor that lives there. Do you know Gabriel Santiago?”

Madi pouted, tilting her head as she reviewed mentally what she knew.

She shook her head after a few minutes. “No, momma. I don’t know that name.”

Lexa pulled her phone out and showed Madi the picture. “Maybe you recognize him in this picture?”

Madi paid close attention to the people in the photo when suddenly her eyes got wide. “I know him, momma! That's Xavier. He helped me when I got an ouchie!”

Lexa nodded. “Okay. Do you know where Xavier lives? Think you can guide me?”

Madi nodded.

“Okay, let's go. After that visit, we can stop and get ice cream!”

“Yayyyy!”

Lexa whistled and soon Picasso appeared at the door. “Thanks Abby!” Lexa thanked the woman who was a couple of steps behind and headed to open the door of the car to let Picasso and Madi get inside.

“Alright, let’s get going.”

After driving through the annoying traffic, Lexa made it to the border of Shadow Valley. She parked on an empty lot and got out with Madi and the dog.

The place was definitely dangerous so it was important that she went in and out. Not even the police tended to come regularly due to the constant violence in the area.

“Alright little Heda, you’ll show me where to find this Xavier, okay? Now listen, if this doesn’t go as planned you run as fast as you can back to the car and press this button, don’t stop running okay? This alarm will signal Aunty Raven and the police that something is not right.” Lexa handed Madi the car remote, putting them in her pants pocket.

“Okay. Madi run whooosh!”

Lexa chuckled.

“That’s my girl!”

_BARK BARK_

“You too, Picasso.”

Lexa offered her hand and the two began walking towards the neighborhood of Shadow Valley. Picasso followed closely behind.

The mother and daughter began moving through the sidewalk surrounded by old houses and apartments.

The neighborhood was composed of small apartment complexes where you could see the bricks covering the walls falling apart. The wood of some of the houses was in bad shape as well. Lexa felt a knot in her throat trying to picture this little girl living in such hard conditions.

Madi led Lexa towards several side streets until they reached a small building. Apparently it was an abandoned drugstore but Madi was confident on her steps, except that Lexa halted the little girl when she noticed two men on the entrance with guns attached to their hips.

“What business do you have here?” One of the men asked.

“I’m looking for Xavier.” Lexa said. “I just wanna talk.”

“Xavier!” Madi shouted. “Madi’s here with momma!”

Lexa made sure to put Madi behind her and patted Picasso who was anxious as well, as one of the men went inside.

A couple of minutes later the man Lexa was looking for appeared from behind the door.

“Madi? What happened?” The man asked, leaning down and looked at the little girl with rap attention.

“I was hoping to speak with you, doctor.” Lexa said. “I’m Lexa Woods, Madi’s mom.”

“Madi’s mom?” The man was obviously confused.

“Yes, she’s my momma now!” Madi announced proudly.

“Come inside.” The tall man walked behind the counter and opened a door leading them to an office.

“What brings you to this place, Miss Woods?”

“Gabriel Santiago.” Lexa said dryly, taking a look around. The place looked more like a military campsite, with maps and weapons around. “Guess The Children of Gabriel fits, huh?”

“That’s a name I don’t use anymore. Come inside.”

“We’ll be out of your hair as soon as you help me understand what’s your connection with Josephine Lightbourne. It seems you aren’t on best terms by the looks of it.”

The man narrowed his brown eyes, scratching his beard. He gulped and turned around. “Josephine. How do you know her?”

“She works with me. Actually, she’s my business associate. The thing here is that Josie has been lying for some time. Money has been lost to some medical research company, Alpha Pharmaceuticals and I feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

“Shit.”

Gabriel let out a long breath and offered a chair to Lexa.

“Madi, can you and Picasso wait in that corner please while I speak with the doctor?” Lexa asked the girl. 

Madi nodded and pulled Picasso to play a bit away from Lexa’s location.

“Is that why you don’t use your name? Gabriel Santiago disappeared some years ago from the public eye, yet I found a communication about you in Josephine’s office. You’re a target.”

“Yeah, I guess she found me. Look, I was Josephine’s boyfriend. We were working on a special project for Alpha Pharmaceuticals in the Pacific Ocean some years ago. Researching the use of rare biochemical compounds stored in plants and using them to develop a biological drive to help patients with Alzheimer’s to restore their memories, think like using a hard drive but for the brain. We found some rare metabolites in a particular group of plants that synthesized it at night, so we called it **Eclipse**.”

“Eclipse?” Lexa furrowed her brows. “Never heard of it.”

Gabriel shrugged. “You wouldn’t. It’s not in the market. We found out too late it was dangerous. The plants Josie collected on that island released the toxin in its purest form through the air. Josie was in the greenhouse extracting the compounds necessary to synthesize the drug every day. We only realized she was infected when one day she turned violent and paranoid out of nowhere. The tests revealed she was infected with Eclipse. I tried to work on an antitoxin to save her but she seemed to recover out of nowhere. She was like nothing happened, except she lied. She was craving more Eclipse, she was sick and her mind began to deteriorate.”

“She never mentioned anything about it. Josephine seemed interested in pursuing business with me and looked very healthy. I don’t understand?” Lexa was very confused because Josephine’s interest in Polis didn’t make any sense now.

“The toxin affects certain areas of the brain that when under a lot of stress or a strong stimulus it can activate the release of this toxin. I tried finishing the anti-toxin but Russell suspended everything connected to this research and buried it. Focused on finding a way to use a biological drive to restore Josephine’s mind.”

“No cure? How on earth did you allow this shit drug on the streets? This is fucked!”

“Russell was interested in finding a potential host for Josie, but he needed to test the drug first. What best way to test it on the field than with people no one cares about?”

“Yeah, fuck everyone else, right?” Lexa shook her head; this was seriously messed up.

“I know I have a lot to make up for.”

“And what is that about a biological drive?” Lexa asked checking on Madi looking over her shoulder.

Gabriel leaned closer to Lexa. “They actually did a test. Kaylee Lee was the subject - a friend of Josie. She didn’t make it.”

“God, this is so wrong.”

“Russell will do anything for his only daughter. I disappeared once Shadow Valley erupted in a wave of violence caused by Eclipse. I couldn’t do anything else but to try to help the people affected by the drug, but many were already addicted to the inhibitions caused by it.”

“Yeah so much for hiding, they know where you are, doc.” Lexa felt an anger burst inside of her, not for her but for her daughter who could have been exposed to such a dangerous substance.

“Wait. Josephine is looking for a new test subject. What are the requirements for this biological drive to work?” Lexa swallowed hard, she had a bad feeling about this.

“Someone young, healthy and who she could get rid of without raising any red flag. I’m not sure of the actual procedures but it has to be someone who can resist the neural stimuli and the insertion of the biological drive, so basically young.”

“Josephine kept me the past year so damn busy, I barely saw my wife. Josephine though, she was happy to be there in my place. I thought she might be attracted to Clarke at one point, but apparently she just wanted a real friend. At least that’s what I thought. Things were pretty bad to the point I believe we were going to divorce. Clarke could've been left alone by now....” Lexa began thinking. “If we have done so… Shit! Clarke! I have to warn her.” Lexa pulled her phone when suddenly gunshots were heard outside, dropping the cellphone which cracked as it hit the floor.

_BANG BANG!_

“Madi get down!” Lexa shouted, crawling on her way to the little girl. “Guess they found you, doc.”

Gabriel ducked behind a desk and pulled a gun.

“I need to get Madi out!” Lexa shouted, reaching for her daughter and shielding the small body with her own.

“Through the backdoor!” Gabriel began returning the fire from a gun and quickly moved to the back of the room and into a door on the lateral side of the building. “Come on!”

Lexa ran pulling Madi and Picasso running behind, quickly reaching the outer street. “Run Madi! Back to the car! GOOO!” Lexa let go of Madi’s hand when she spotted a pair of men dressed in black who came after her.

Gabriel shot one but the other returned the fire hitting Gabriel as well.

Lexa moved behind a wall, checking on the little girl running along the dog away from the main street.

In a matter of minutes, bikers appeared as well and a confrontation began in the middle of the street. Lexa ducked behind a car parked on the sidewalk. Trying to find a way out.

“Get the woman!” Someone shouted.

“Shit!” Lexa leaned behind a wall. “They’re after me?”

The exchange of shots kept going and Lexa assumed the bikers were part of Gabriel’s gang, which gave an opening to move towards the next nearby building. She jumped inside a broken glass window and made it to the other side, she grabbed a chair and used it to smash the back window and escape.

However, there was a van on this side of the street and soon a thug noticed her presence.

He tried to grab her but Lexa responded with a kick to the side and a quick hook to the chin. Soon, another thug joined, hitting Lexa with a plank, making her fall on the ground. He kicked her once, but right before another hit got her ribs, Lexa rolled on her side and stood up again.

She jumped on the man, choking him as hard as she could. A shot hit the man and Lexa let go.

“Don’t kill her, just grab the damn woman!” Another man shouted.

Lexa thought she was done for, but it was Gabriel who came to her rescue. He pulled her behind a car and the two ducked, gasping for breath and adrenaline coursing through their veins.

“These are Russell’s people.” Gabriel pressed his shoulder to stop the bleeding.

“You should have denounced them!” Lexa gritted her teeth feeling the pain on her ribs increase.

“The Lightbourne’s are powerful if you haven’t realized it yet, Lexa.” Gabriel pressed the trigger to return the fire, but he was out of ammo.

“So what? Better hide and let others suffer? That’s the coward’s way!” Lexa replied, but there was no more time to talk when a hitman came for her. There was an exchange of blows, but Lexa was slower due to her ribs hurting and got sucker punched on the face, making her falter on her steps.

Gabriel came to her aid and together they knocked out the thug.

“Yeah. I know…” Gabriel seemed remorseful at least.

The two moved towards the neighboring areas hoping the bikers could slow down the hitmen. Yet they weren't fast enough and were met with another group of assailants. They managed to push them back as they made their escape from the clearly planned ambush.

Lexa kicked the last thug on his stomach, and was about to turn around to get out of the neighborhood, but someone got her from behind and before she could maneuver herself out of the arm hold, she felt something prick her neck.

Soon she was dizzy.

She touched her neck, and tried to blink the sudden heaviness of her eyelids, falling on her knees.

“Madi...” Lexa mumbled.

She crumbled on the street and tried to look at the man looking back at her. Blue eyes, beard, white and tall.

“Ru- Russell.”

Everything faded to black.

______________

“Where is she?” Clarke asked again after being brought to Josephine’s home. She was taken to the basement of the Lightbourne’s house. The place was empty by the lack of movement around the halls. Only the sound of Clarke’s shoes and Josephine’s heels disturbing the eerie silence. No service and no Russell or Simone to be seen.

_Weird._

Once inside, Clarke observed metallic tables filled with medical equipment. The walls were white adding more to the sterility of the place. Just a glass door separating them from the main house. At the end was a cot with restraints and a heart rate monitor on the side.

Right on the corner was Lexa, sitting unconscious on a chair, her hands restrained.

“Lexa!” Clarke was about to go to her but she stopped as she noticed the man standing on the opposite wall.

“Welcome, Clarke.” Russell offered a friendly smile. “Please remain calm.”

“What did you do to her!” Clarke growled, seeing Lexa’s face swollen with a purplish bruise forming on her left cheekbone, blood dripping on the floor slowly from the side of her head.

“Relax, Clarke. She’s just knocked out for the time being.” Josephine began activating some equipment. “Now, you should lay down on the stretcher.”

Clarke shook her head, taking a step back. “I’m not doing shit!”

Russell began walking towards Lexa and once he was in front of the tied woman he slapped her face.

“STOP!” Clarke shouted.

Lexa began to come back slowly. She tried to lift her head to look around, when Russell pulled from her braids, lifting her head forcefully.

“On the bed, Clarke.” The man ordered once more. “Or next time I won’t be nice.”

“Clarke…” Lexa gasped.

“Why me?” Clarke asked, looking at Josephine and trying to remain as calm as possible. “Why did you target my family?”

Clarke needed a plan, so her best bet right now was to gain some extra minutes and see if she could do anything to free Lexa.

“Because you’re perfect. I first learned about you when you made your exhibit in Los Angeles. Where I also met McCreary. I came down from another Eclipse attack and was wandering the streets of LA when I noticed the lights showcasing the art. As an artist myself, I realized you shared my passion for the arts. Beautiful and intelligent. Healthy as well. I learned everything I needed about you and when McCreary destroyed you with his harsh review, I knew this could serve me to approach you. Luckily, Polis was struggling with Dante and when I saw the sale offer I didn’t hesitate to tell daddy to buy it. What better way to get to you than through your wife?”

Clarke kept looking at the bare room, trying to find another exit or a weapon, but there was nothing but medical equipment and tools around. Clarke felt a flicker of hope when she noticed a sharp scalpel on a nearby table.

_That could work._

“You pushed her to save the magazine while sacrificing our relationship. You knew how much Lexa cared for Polis. You tested our loyalty towards each other when you invited us to dine with you.” Clarke added, approaching slowly towards the scalpel. “You told McCreary to offer me a spot in Eligius while he set up his laundering business using Kaylee Lee’s name to sell overpriced art. No one would raise an eye and I blindly would do everything to prove myself as an artist. Gosh… I fell for it.”

Josephine chuckled as she finished setting up a computer, patting the medical bed. “All you had to do was divorce Lexa and your adventure through Europe would have been a success. Leaving behind your failed marriage and no one would’ve batted an eye when you left to rebuild your life. You’re stubborn, Clarke. You fought for this woman even when your personal ambitions were on the line.”

“I love her. If anything this has shown me how much Lexa means to me. This is the love of my life, but I don’t think you can understand that, Josephine. You’re greedy, manipulative and cold, Josie.” Immediately, Clarke extended her arm and took a scalpel but instead of using it to threaten Josephine she put it on her neck.

“Don’t fucking move!” Clarke pressed the scalpel against her neck. “You need me alive or else goodbye to your next experiment, Josie.”

“Clarke, don’t be silly. Put that down.” Josephine moved and Clarke took a step back.

“Nah ah, you let Lexa go and I’m yours. Otherwise I won’t hesitate to slice my neck, bitch!” Clarke was shaking but she remained strong. “Lexa!? Babe? Please wake up. I need you to get out of here.”

“Clarke, don’t-” Lexa coughed and blood splattered on the floor. “Please.”

“Lexa, you need medical attention. Let her go, Russell. NOW! I want to be sure she’s out and now harm will come to her!” Clarke hissed as she cut more.

Red warm liquid began dripping from the side of her neck.

“Dad, let her go. We don’t need Lexa anyway.”

Russell complied, unlocking Lexa’s wrist. Next, Russell called for one of his men.

“Take this woman out on the street. Make it look like a robbery.” Russell instructed and the man pulled Lexa from under her arms and dragged Lexa out of the lab room.

“She's outside. Shall we?”

____________

Lexa could feel herself become at least more present, the substance that was used to knock her out already fading. Someone was dragging her body through the living room of the large house, and by the looks of it the place was deserted. This was her chance to make an escape and get Clarke back.

“Oh my, can someone come up and clean this mess?”

Lexa lifted her head briefly and saw Simone looking disgusted by the trail of blood she was leaving behind.

“Sorry, ma’am. As soon as I get this woman out I’ll make sure the staff comes to clean.”

“Very well.”

Right when they reached the double doors the man had to let go of Lexa to open them. This was her chance. Since the guy thought she was unconscious she was going to surprise him.

Lexa took several deep breaths trying to control the pain she was feeling and as the guy turned around leaving her on the floor, Lexa kneeled and stood up tumbling a bit but with enough clarity to kick behind the knee of the man and pushing his back forward, then she smashed his head against the sturdy door several times until she knocked him out, the door fully open.

Lexa checked inside the jacket and pockets of the hitman, but there were no weapons she could use. She observed outside the house and noticed her mustang parked in front of the stairs.

“Lexa?”

Lexa lifted her eyes and noticed Gabriel was in the house.

“Gabriel, what are you doing here?”

“You were right, I was a coward but today I’m going to end this.”

“Wait, is that…” Lexa observed as Picasso and Madi ran up the stairs and the little girl jumped into Lexa’s arms.

“Momma I pressed the button!!!”

Lexa had to suck in a breath by the sudden weight of her daughter pressing her battered ribs to avoid scaring her.

“Baby, what are you doing here? This is not safe. Please stay in the car. Momma is going to rescue mommy, so you be a good little Heda and watch my back in the car.” Lexa made sure her little girl was healthy, finding no damage to her body.

“I’m okay, momma. Xavier said he was going to help me find you. We’re going to defeat the bad guys.” The smile of Madi infused Lexa with courage and pride.

“And you did! Now stay back with Picasso, okay? Heda will defeat them.” Lexa kissed the brunette’s forehead and stood up.

“They are in a lab.”

“Yeah, I know. Let's go.” Gabriel rolled his shoulder. Apparently, he got it bandaged already so at least he was in better shape.

The two moved following the trail of blood and were met again with Simone.

“What on earth? Gabriel?” She gasped seeing Gabriel.

Lexa used the sudden surprise to grab the woman and put her on a choke hold until she left her unconscious.

She left the woman slowly on the floor and followed Gabriel, going down the stairs until they reached the sliding glass doors of the laboratory. There was a card reader on the side that would let them in. However, Gabriel didn't waste time and unleashed a couple of bullets into the machine, damaging it instantly.

Gabriel slid the door open, “Russell stop!”

Josephine was on a chair with some weird contraption on her head next to Clarke, who was on the bed with her wrist and feet restrained. She was sobbing and clearly scared.

“Gabriel, you can’t stop this!” Russell said. “This could save Josie, don’t you want that?”

“Not like this.” Gabriel pointed the gun at Russell. “Release the woman!.”

Lexa was standing on the side, waiting to be able to get a hold of Clarke and run the hell out but instead, Russell hit another bottom, which activated an alarm.

“Shit!”

“Surrender and you will live, Gabriel.” Russell grabbed an injection with a red liquid in the tube and Lexa didn’t wait any second and ran towards the older man.

“I need time. Cover me!” She shouted and then jumped towards Russell pushing him away from Clarke.

Gabriel nodded and left the lab to go to the upper floors and stop whatever backup Russell called.

Lexa tackled Russell who lost the injection, but he was heavier and she was weak, turning them around and gaining the upper hand.

“Agh!” Lexa grabbed his hands tightening against her throat, she heard some shots coming on the upper floors and, _was that a growl?_

With her hip, Lexa managed to unbalance Russell and removed him from above her, throwing him against a machine that beeped and was flickered out of existence.

“Dad?” Josephine asked waking up from the induced coma she was being put in. “What’s happening?”

Lexa grabbed a table and hoisted herself up, she released one of Clarke’s ankles when Russell pulled her down again.

The two of them continued the fight on the floor, the man with clear intentions to kill her.

Lexa kneed him and rolled around trying to get the injection in her control, but Russell held her tight, he hit her shoulder making her lose the grip on what was likely to be Eclipse, as he grabbed the vial and stuck it in her neck. Pressing the plunger and unleashing the red liquid into her veins.

Lexa growled as the red liquid began entering her body, but she managed to force the injection out and headbutted Russell hard, breaking his nose.

Everything started to become blurry, With the corner of her eyes she saw little legs running towards the bed.

“Mommy!!”

Lexa heard, and tried to punch the man on his heaving chest but she was feeling so sick. With a last boost she grasped the vial and tossed it away, then kicking Russell in his dick.

“Agh! Bitch!” He pulled from his waist of his pants a gun and he pointed it at Lexa. “No more games.”

“Madi, down!” Gabriel shouted.

_BANG!_

“Daddy, no!”

Russell fell dead on the floor, losing the gun he held in his hands. Lexa felt she was about to puke, she tried to sit and her hand began to shake.

“Oh.”

Lexa lost consciousness.

____________

As soon as Madi released her, Clarke took her daughter and stepped away into a corner.

“Stay here baby.” Clarke ordered the girl.

“You shot him, Gabriel!” Josephine screamed kneeling by her father. “How could you!”

“I’m sorry Josie, but this is wrong.”

“I’m sorry more,” Josephine said. She reached for the nearby gun Russell dropped and shot Gabriel.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Gabriel fell on the tile floor and Clarke ducked down behind a table. She crawled towards the man but he was choking in his own blood.

Clarke held his hand, that was all she could do.

Soon the doctor stopped breathing.

“Clarke? Enough! Get in the bed and let’s be done with this.” Josephine pointed the gun at Lexa.

“Okay, okay!” Clarke stood up lifting her hands. “Fine, no more bloodshed.”

Clarke began her approach to where Josephine wanted but soon Madi and Picasso launched themselves at Josephine. Madi grabbed one leg of the woman, trying to keep her away from the unconscious brunette.

Next, the woman screamed as the sharp teeth of the dog sank into the arm holding the gun. She made a shot but hit the floor. 

“Madi, Picasso get back!” Clarke grabbed the scalpel she previously used but this time she launched herself at Josie and stabbed it right in the throat.

Shaking, Clarke moved away from the gurgles of Josephine and suddenly the sound of sirens seemed to get close to the property. She turned to check on Madi who held into Picasso and soon crawled towards Lexa.

“Lexa? Love, please talk to me?” Clarke checked for her wife’s pulse and was relieved when she felt the steady beat.

“Madi come.” Soon her daughter joined and Clarke hugged her tightly, kissing her with all her love on the top of her head.

“Is mommy okay?”

“Yes, baby. I’m good.”

“And momma?”

“She’ll be okay. Lexa is very strong.”

Clarke really _really_ hoped Lexa was going to be okay.

This nightmare couldn’t end up like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're almost there friends. Thank you so much for being with me on this journey. Special shout out to cos-geek-monkey.tumblr.com for editing this chapter.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Tana


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Threat of suicide
> 
> Thread with caution

Lexa opened her eyes, slowly, but the pressure in her head was hurting her sight so she squeezed her eyes, massaging her temple. She took a deep breath and exhaled counting until eight.

This time Lexa managed to open her eyes, she blinked looking at the walls surrounding her.

“Are you okay, Miss Woods?”

Lexa tilted her head looking at the man escorting her through the empty hall.

“Ah, I um, yes, just nervous.” Lexa replied a bit shaky as she continued walking down the hall

“I think that you’re going to fit well here Miss Woods.”

“I hope so, Principal Kane.” Lexa turned around, and noticed a flash of blonde moving into the opposite hall.

“We’re here.” Marcus stopped in front of a door labeled Ms. Rivers. “We’ll change the name on the door later, hope you feel comfortable. I can introduce you if you feel that will make it easier.” The man offered with a kind smile.

“No, I got it from here Principal Kane, thank you.”

Once she bid farewell to her boss, Lexa walked towards the desk in front of the board. She traced her hand over the wood feeling her fingertips tingling.

Soon the bell was ringing announcing the end of the current classes and right away, the sound of loud, excited voices began filling the halls.

Lexa fixed her blazer and plugged her laptop quickly, then she pulled out her schedule from her briefcase and checked the materials she had available.

“Let’s see, incoming is Language arts English 10, then two hours with another 10th grade and recess. Lastly Language arts 12. I think I got it all, let’s get to work.”

  
  


To say that Lexa wasn’t exhausted already wasn’t an exaggeration, these kids were tiring to say the least but she gave her best. She wanted to inspire them, to hopefully make them see the beauty of the English language and how many amazing things they could do with words.

Soon the seniors began filing the class once the bell announced it was time for class. She leaned into the desk, arms crossed in front of her chest, observing quickly how the students settled in their usual seats and lowered their voices speculating who she was and probably wondering where Miss Rivers was.

“Good morning students. Welcome to class!” Lexa said, keeping her expression neutral.

While the students finished filling the classroom she finished setting her presentation on the whiteboard.

Lexa cleared her throat eyeing at the curious seniors of TonDC High.

“Before we actually do anything, I’d like to review first with you the material you already have before we can move forward this semester. As you can see, I’ll be covering for Miss Rivers-” Lexa stopped and her eyes moved to the blonde student trying to sneak into her classroom. Lexa checked the clock on the wall and knew she had to stand up and stop this indiscipline right away or else the students would think this place was to do whatever the hell they wanted.

“Excuse me, I believe class began 8 minutes ago Miss?” The brunette eyed her with a stern expression.

“Griffin, um, Clarke Griffin.”

“Clarke.” Lexa repeated frowning, that name made her skin tingle. She tried to shake the feeling right away. “This is the last time you will be late to my class.”

Clarke quirked her eyebrow. “It was only 8 minutes, no big deal.”

Lexa felt like she just got slapped in the face, this girl came into her class and defied her in front of the other kids. That was unacceptable.

The brunette stood up from her chair as if it was her throne and walked to meet Clarke at eye level.

Lexa stopped a few feet away from Clarke.

“This is not a negotiation, Clarke.” Green eyes burying into blue ones. “You’ll be here on time.”

Clarke seemed to snap out of it after some strong first impression and replied, “Yes, ma’am.” She stepped back and took her seat between two other girls.

“As I was saying before your classmate interrupted, I’ll be substituting for Miss Rivers for the rest of the semester. I noticed that you were working on grammar, however I think it’s best if we start working with literature this semester and writing on your position papers for the novel analysis.” The brunette eyes the students of her class, however, her eyes stopped one extra second over the blonde. “Any questions?”

Clarke raised her hand.

The brunette narrowed her eyes and her lips curved the slightest. She nodded to let Clarke ask her question.

“When are you going to wake up?”

Lexa was highly confused. “What?”

“I need you to wake up, babe.”

Lexa arched her brows, this was definitely bizarre. How dare this blonde kid call her babe. She was with Costia, for fucks sake!

“I ah, Miss Griffin, this is very-”

“I need you, Lexa. Please! Come on, you can fight this!” Clarke begged and it tugged really hard at her heart.

Lexa scrunched her eyes, she was feeling again that headache, everything was twisting around and she was getting very dizzy, she returned to her chair and began pressing her temples trying to ease a bit the pain but it was too much and she leaned her head in the desk, trying to calm her breathing.

Soon everything went black.

___________

“Clarke, honey. Come on, give the nurse space.” Abby had to pull Clarke from her shoulders and remove her from Lexa’s bedside while the medical team worked on helping Lexa pass this crisis.

Clarke wiped the tears on her face. Seeing her wife convulsing on bed as the nurse administered the medication after two days with high fever and no response from her wife was excruciating. She was suffering just by looking at the bruises, the black eye on her wife and now seeing her in bed in pain just destroyed her.

“I don’t know what that fucker put into her, mom.” Clarke whined as Abby helped her to get to the wait room. “It was this red thing and now look at her!”

“I assure you everyone in the medical staff is doing what they can to find out what’s wrong with her. The MRI should reveal us what’s causing this, okay? Jackson will be here soon with the results.”

Clarke nodded and sat on the couch. Covering her face and closing her eyes for a minute. She has barely slept these last couple of days. After giving Bellamy her statement she was desperate for Raven to find out anything from the computers in Josephine's laboratory, but so far there was not much they could use to aid in Lexa’s recovery.

“Sweetheart, right now there is nothing you can do for Lexa. Go home and be with Madi. She needs you now as well. I’ll be here and call you as soon as I have more news, okay?”

Clarke sighed but nodded. “You’re right, I’ll go to Costia’s and pick her and Picasso now. Anya must be close to committing murder.”

Abby chuckled. “You go and rest, sweetheart. I’ll keep you posted.”

Clarke grabbed her things and after reaching the parking lot sat in her car, she let out a long breath and broke down on the wheel.

Lexa was hurting and Clarke couldn’t do anything to help, she felt impotent, tears streamed all over her face, but it was better to let out all the pain instead of doing it when Madi was around. The last thing Clarke wanted was to worry her daughter.

After some minutes she began sniffing and reclined on her seat, she turned the key and wiped the tears, trying to fix her puffy eyes with some makeup before she went to get Madi. She took a couple of deep breaths and finally put the car on drive.

After taking her time to reach Costia and Anya’s place she parked her car and rode the elevator to the apartment.

Costia was already at the door ready to welcome Clarke with a warm hug.

“Hey, thanks for watching Madi and Picasso.” Clarke moved inside the apartment and noticed Anya was showing Madi a map on their dinner table.

“Caesar was after Pompey into Egypt; however, he couldn’t reach him since he was cut off by an Egyptian fleet at Alexandria.”

“Ahh!” Madi gasped.

“Caesar was outnumbered and behind enemy lines, so he commanded the ships in the harbor to be set on fire. Of course, the fire burned part of the city and the famous library…”

Clarke trembled, “Uff that brings many war flashbacks!”

Costia giggled, “Anya is a great world history teacher, that’s how she has marveled Madi all this time. Those stories keep her very entertained.”

“Yup, no questions about it, though she always kicked my ass in class.”

Anya stood up from the table and walked towards Clarke, “Not my fault you were gossiping with Reyes and Blake all the time.”

Clarke chuckled remembering the old times with her best friends.

“Mommy!” Madi jumped from her chair and ran to hug Clarke. “Can I see momma now?”

“Not yet, baby. Lexa is still sick but once she gets better she’ll come back home with us.”

Madi pouted.

Clarke kneeled and kissed the mop of brown hair, “Go get your things, we’re going home to wait for momma, okay?”

“Okay.”

Madi obediently moved to the guest room and Clarke sat on the sofa to pet Picasso who was resting near the coffee table.

“How is she?” Anya asked, her face was serious but you could spot the concern in her hazel eyes. After all, this was the woman who loved Lexa as one of her own. Family.

Clarke shook her head, again on the verge of crying. “The fever is still too high, she hasn’t woken up either and nobody knows what Russell injected her yet.”

“Shit, I wish you hadn’t killed that bitch because I would gladly kill her and her daddy very slowly.” Anya clenched her hand but Costia was quick to take it and kiss it to reassure her spouse.

“Don’t say that, Anya. You’re not a psychopath. We can still take care of Madi if you need to be in the hospital, Clarke.” Costia offered kindly.

“No, you already did enough. Marcus was gracious enough to give you some time off.”

“My mom is going to let me know once they have information about what is causing this.”

Costia nodded, “Okay, we’re here whenever you need us, Clarke. For now, I’m doing everything I can to help shut down Eligius.”

“Thanks, Cos.”

“Ready!” Madi came back with her backpack loaded with toys.

Costia laughed, “I’ll get her clothes and items ready, be right back.”

“Aunty Anya, can you tell mommy the story of the eagle that dropped the turtle in the head of the old man?” Madi asked, smiling with that cute toothy grin.

Clarke widened her eyes, staring daggers at Anya.

“What are you teaching my daughter?”

Anya shrugged, “Nothing that is not true. Aeschylus did die outside of Gela when the eagle dropped the tortoise on his head.”

“Really?” Clarke perked her brow. “You are a menace, Miss Forrester.”

“The eagle thought the bald head was something to open the turtle, mommy!” Madi added to explain to her mother the reason for such an unlucky event.

“You're very clever sweetie, but I promise you better stories tonight.”

“Yes?” Madi raised her hands, “I want to hear again how the mighty Heda destroys the evil ice queen.”

Clarke picked her up and rested the girl using her hip. “The what? What have you and Lexa been telling Madi? Couldn’t it be something more kid-friendly?”

“Because it’s boring, Clarke.” Anya rolled her eyes, smirking. “Besides, why do you think your kid has taken such a traumatic experience so well? Because the commander went in to save her mommy. Heda Lexa and little Heda Madi went and destroyed the evil people from that mystery lab, isn’t that right?” Anya ruffled the little brown curls of the girl excited again.

“Yes, mommy!” Madi raised her little fist. “We helped Heda to defeat the evil witch!”

Clarke’s eyes began to water, she blinked quickly to remove the forming tears. She wished she could have spared her daughter such violence, but at least the girl thought it was part of one of her fictional stories that she participated in. Little did she know she could have been killed.

“Mommy? Are you sad? I won’t play with momma like that anymore.”

Clarke shook her head, pulling closer the little bundle in her arms.

“No baby, that’s fine I was just scared that things got out of control and the evil witch defeated you. We have to be careful though, momma got sick after such a complicated game.”

“Okay. I’ll be good, mommy.”

“Here you go,” Costia handed Clarke the bag with Madi’s clothes.

“Thank you so much for helping Madi process all this. I don’t know what I’d do without any of you.”

Anya rested her hand over Clarke’s shoulder, squeezing and nodded.

“She’s a wonderful kid. Don’t hesitate to call us if you need us. We love you and Lexa very much, and this sweetheart as well.” Costia hugged Clarke and left a kiss on her cheek.

Clarke arranged once more Madi in her arms and the bags in her other shoulder.

“Come on Picasso, let’s go home.”

-oo-

It was impossible to sleep not knowing much more about Lexa, so Clarke invited Madi to a sleepover and that’s how she managed to rest at least some more.

Now that the sun was out, the artist was drinking a stale coffee with her best friends. Madi was on the kitchen island eating her breakfast.

“Bellamy has spoken with Simone Lightbourne, but that bitch has remained quiet, trying to negotiate her ass out of jail. He’s trying to get an order to access Alpha Pharmaceuticals research but I worry Lexa will get worse by the time it takes to do so.” Clarke took another sip of the gross coffee as she shared the information received.

“Bell will do it, Clarke. My brother might be a useless cop but he won’t let you down.” Octavia said through the laptop screen. Her friend was in sportswear probably ready to go to training with her current soccer team.

“If only his dumb ass let me take a look at the confiscated computers I could have exposed that Simone bitch, but alas.” Raven rolled her eyes.

“Mom also called last night, the MRI showed that there are some regions of Lexa’s brain undergoing intense activity. The thing she got injected induced some neural activation or something like that.” Clarke shut her eyes, trying not to cry. She was making an effort to be strong for Madi.

“So,” Raven tried to lighten the mood by changing the topic. “Octopus, when are you coming back? You told us last time that you got an offer from a local club?” Raven asked.

“Yeah, still dealing with some contract stuff but it’s pretty sure I’m going to be playing for the DC Warriors next season.”

“That’s cool.” Raven celebrated.

“Yeah…” Clarke said barely listening.

“Mommy, can Aunty Raven play with me now? I eat all breakfast.” Madi approached the table where the adults were talking. Picasso in tow.

“Sure thing, let me finish chatting with your mom and aunty O, and I’ll be there in a second,” Raven replied.

“Okay!” Madi jumped excitedly.

“As long as we don’t know what toxin they injected into Lexa the doctors will remain blind.” Clarke sighed.

“Eclipse!” Madi smiled, pulling Picasso from her paws.

“What is it honey?” Clarke asked, taking another sip of the beverage trying to hold the incoming headache by how much stress she was starting to get due to the complexity of Lexa’s situation.

“Momma got Eclipse!” Madi insisted.

“Ah, no kiddo. There is no eclipse.” Raven tried to explain. “I can show you later some videos though.”

“Noooo,” Madi giggled, shaking her head patting Picasso on her head, next she looked at Raven properly. “The red is called Eclipse. My mom liked it, she put it in her arm and always got angry at me. It made me scared so I run and visited Clarke. When we went to visit Xavier, he told momma about it. I hear all his story and then momma said FUCK!”

Clarke stood up abruptly, spilling the coffee on her white tee.

“Ouch!” she patted the liquid with some napkins and kneeled to look at Madi at eye level.

“Aaaah, cupcake no. Don’t say that word because uh, it’s ah, a big word.”

“Big?” Madi frowned, scratching her head.

“You have to level up!” Raven jumped into the conversation. “You’re level 0 and Lexa is level 10 so she can use it for special occasions. When you grow up you will get more points and when you get to level 10 you’ll be able to say it.”

“Okay.” Madi grinned, satisfied with the explanation.

“What else did you hear about Eclipse, cupcake?” Clarke smiled, thankful for Raven’s quick thinking.

“Makes people funny, other times angry and they hurt each other or themselves. Mom wasn’t strong but momma can wake up soon!” Madi explained. “She’s dreaming mommy, all she has to do is come back.”

Clarke sighed, the information wasn’t technical enough to give a pointer to the hospital on a way to treat her wife. She kissed her daughter’s head and stood up to grab her phone.

She quickly dialed Bellamy.

After a couple of tones he finally answered.

“Bell? Ask Simone about Eclipse. That’s what you need to ask that bi- eh witch! I need to know if there is a cure or treatment, please.” Clarke nodded as if the cop could see her. “Yeah, I won’t do anything stupid, relax. Thanks.”

“I’ll see if I can find anything about this. Call you later, O?” Raven directed the laptop in her direction.”

“Yeah, you do what you can Rae. Shoot me a message later. Love you two.” Octavia waved and finished the videocall.

“I’m going back to the hospital and wait for Bell to give us news. Watch Madi?” Clarke asked Raven.

“Sure,” Raven faced Madi and signaled her. “Bring those blocks Madi, it’s time we start building something awesome!”

“Yay!”

Madi jumped and moved to her room to bring her building blocks.

Clarke went quickly to her room to get changed and grabbed her car keys, she took a look to make sure everything was fine before she left and drove towards the hospital hoping to have some answers from Bellamy soon.

___________

Lexa was feeling a lot of pain, even after going to the hospital her body hurt. All she needed was to lay in bed to be frank. Her head was killing her the most, plus the damn heat that was burning her insides. Lexa needed to rest.

“Jesus Lexa, you look like the Pillsbury doughboy.” Anya commented with a tiny smirk in place.

“Ha! You’re hilarious Anya. Maybe you should be a comic.” Lexa limped her way to her living room followed shyly by Raven who was whistling as she appreciated her apartment.

“Polis clearly pays their employees well, hot damn.” Raven took in all the details of the place and the nature visible from the large windows letting the sunlight in.

“Make yourself comfortable Raven. I have to arrange something first but--”

“Nope.” Anya stopped Lexa. “You need to rest your dumb ass Lexa. I’ll make sure Raven gets her things from her old place and help her settle in here.”

“Thanks Anya.” Raven smiled gratefully.

“Don’t get used to it Reyes.” Anya offered a playful smile while helping Lexa up the stairs.

“This is because I love this idiot with all my heart.”

“You’re so cute today Anya, really. Shut up.” Lexa complained and was thankful when she was left on her big ass bed.

After Anya finished helping her remove her clothes to rest Lexa began thinking about Clarke again.

She had hoped that what transpired last night between them had meant something, but the blonde clearly didn’t care.

_You don't deserve her._

A familiar voice told her.

Soon her cellphone blipped with a new notification from her social media and Lexa tried to reach slowly for her device, careful not to hurt much of her ribs.

**@princess69**: wake up, baby.

Lexa blinked slowly, staring at the screen with the message.

“I’m awake…”

_You keep hurting her._

The voice insisted.

Lexa began typing a response hoping to clarify why Clarke wanted her to wake up.

**@AlexandriaBTS**: I’m here.

Lexa stared at her phone screen waiting for a response. Lexa checked if the A/C was even on because she was sweating horribly, all her body was drenched and she felt too hot. Her body was on fire and it hurt so much.

_Everything is your fault._

“I don’t understand.” Lexa wiped the perspiration from her forehead, beginning to feel dizzy.

_If you were gone, Clarke wouldn’t be in danger._

Lexa tried to open her eyes.

“Nia!? Is Clarke okay? If you did anything to her I’m going to kill you!” Lexa growled.

Nia began chuckling, her ice cold blue eyes staring Lexa over the bed.

_It’s you, Lexa. You did this to Clarke!_

Lexa shook her head no.

“I would end my life before I’d hurt Clarke.” Lexa swallowed hard, feeling her lungs constricting.

The writer began hyperventilating, she rested her hand over her ribs but the pain was not subsiding.

_Then do it…_

Lexa took the gun that Nia offered and slowly pointed it to her temple, the cold metal sizzling over her hot sweaty skin.

She closed her eyes moving the finger to the trigger.

Her phone vibrated with a new notification. Lexa opened her eyes slowly, left the gun over the night dresser and picked up her cellphone.

**@princess69**: I need you...

Lexa woke up.

_____________

“You have to be kidding me.”

Clarke stopped in her tracks when she spotted the bunch of people outside the hospital doors. Carrying cameras, video and sound equipment, also there was a group of young girls with cardboards that read ‘Pray for Alexandria’ and ‘We heart you’.

It wasn’t long before someone noticed her and the mob came at her.

“Once again the Hero of TonDC brings a gang down. Tells us how do you feel, Clarke?” A redhead woman shoved the microphone in her face.

“How is Alexandria? Her fans want news about her status.” Some other guy asked next, pushing his cellphone and hitting her head.

“There are rumors that you two separated.” A third voice joined.

“Is Alexandria having an affair?” Someone shouted from behind.

“Back off!” Clarke yelled, pushing people left and right. “Get the hell away from me!”

Clarke opened herself a path by elbowing reporters and shoving the cameras and cellphones away from her face. Once she crossed the doors of the hospital she let out an annoyed sigh. She power-walked towards the elevator, pressed the UP arrow, and hoped to find her mom.

After the short ride to Lexa’s floor, Clarke met her mom at the nurses’ station.

“Mom, what the fuck? Someone is a snitch in this fucking hospital. How dare these assholes come and try to invade my wife’s privacy!?” Clarke began a furious ramble. “These fuckers are capable of infiltrating to take pictures. I want my wife removed from here asap, mom. This is bullshit!”

Abby tried to calm down her daughter. Resting her hands over her shoulders.

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry this happened. Trust me, I’m trying to find how this leaked but it’s too risky to move Lexa. I promise you we’re going to be more careful and only the assigned staff will have access to Lexa from now on.”

Clarke huffed, holding the bridge of her nose, trying to calm down. Counting to ten before she murdered someone.

“Fine. Look, mom. Madi says the name of the thing Lexa was injected is called Eclipse. Apparently, the drug has some weird effects and makes people aggressive of sorts. I’m not sure how accurate this is. Madi says her mom consumed so…” Clarke shrugged. “Bellamy is asking Simone Lightbourne as we speak.”

Abby bit her lower lip, “Hmm, this info matches the evidence of Lexa’s overstimulated regions in her brain…” Abby went to Lexa’s room and returned with the medical chart.

“Mom? What are you doing?”

“I think Lexa hasn’t woken up because her body shut down to heal her body; however, the drug in her system could be creating a more chaotic environment in her central nervous system resulting in the scans I saw, the elevated heart rate, and fever. If this toxin acts like a psychotropic substance like caffeine, alcohol, or even LSD she must be suffering from intense stimulation. This is very interesting…”

“Mom, Lexa is not here as an experiment!” Clarke rolled her eyes annoyed at her mother.

“I know, baby. I just find all of this fascinating. I’m going to check with Jackson about the possibilities of reviewing the current treatment he has for Lexa based on what we know now. I’ll be right back.”

Clarke has no idea what got into her mother, she only hoped that whatever she was into could help with Lexa’s recovery.

The artist returned to Lexa’s private room, opening the door slowly to avoid disturbing the silence of the wing she was in; yet the peace ended as soon as she put a step in the room.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Clarke crossed her arms in front of her bosom, face contorted and her lips almost in a snare.

“I’m visiting my daughter,” Callie turned around and her blue eyes locked with Clarke’s.

The woman’s posture was all Lexa’s - chin up, shoulder’s back, clenched jaw, and pursed lips. It was intimidating to say the least, but this wasn’t Clarke’s first rodeo with someone with a stick up their ass.

“No shit.” Clarke used all the sarcasm she could drip. “You have no business here, ma’am. You and your husband made it very clear you didn’t want anything to do with her after she came out.”

“I _am_ her mother, whether you like it or not… girl.”

Clarke snorted. “Who are you calling girl? _Lady_. The name’s Clarke. Listen, you might have pushed Lexa out of your vagina, but that doesn’t make you a mother. Anya was more of a parent to her than you or your homophobic husband. What kind of monster says to their child they are the spawn of Satan?” Clarke clenched her fist, she was so furious, on the verge of bitch-slapping to hell that woman. “What kind of people isolates their kid from friends or ignores the bruises they brought back home? You don’t deserve her!!!” Clarke growled, now removing the angry tears that streamed down her face.

“GET. OUT!” Clarke snapped.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

“Lexa?” Clarke pushed past the woman and ran towards Lexa’s bedside, observing that her heart monitor began to go crazy. “Baby, what’s wrong? Answer me, please!”

Clarke pressed the button to call a nurse and held Lexa’s hand.

“Wake up, baby,” Clarke whispered, praying to be heard.

“Hey Clarke, I brought some flo-” Anya dropped the bouquet of flowers and stared at the scene unfolding before her hazel eyes.

“Excuse me, ma’am, out of my way!” A nurse came into the room and quickly moved to check Lexa’s stats.

“Nurse, something’s wrong!” Clarke cried feeling Lexa’s hands shake uncontrollably.

“I need you… please Lexa don’t leave me.” Clarke begged.

Lexa sat abruptly on the bed, making Clarke fall on her ass by the sudden movement.

The nurse startled and moved to the door. “I’m going to call Dr. Jackson right away.”

The brunette was breathing heavily as if the air was not reaching her lungs, her green eye taking in the room around her since the other was still too inflamed to even open it.

“Klark.” Lexa croaked.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked hesitantly.

Lexa’s eye settled on Callie.

“Nia, you- won’t.” Lexa stood up pulling all the medical devices she was connected to and jumped on top of Callie and began strangling her.

“Lexa, what the hell are you doing?” Clarke finally stood up and tried to pull Lexa away from the older woman but Lexa was holding hard into the other brunette.

Lexa growled as she squeezed with all she had.

“Fuck!” Anya blinked out of her stupor and pulled her friend. “Come on, Lexa. Let her go!”

“You’re not going to hurt her!” Lexa growled as she fought to get out of Anya’s grip.

Clarke tried to put herself in front of Lexa. Arms up in submission to make herself not a threat. “Lexa, I’m safe. I’m okay. You don’t have to hurt anyone.”

“I rather die than hurt you,” Lexa whined as she kept trying to get out of Anya’s hold.

“What happened!?” Jackson came immediately followed by Abby.

“She just woke up, but she seems confused.” Clarke tried to explain, but she was panicking with no way of helping her distressed wife.

“We need to sedate her. I need haloperidol quickly!” Jackson tried to approach Lexa.

“Cage! You’re dead!” Lexa shouted. Getting more agitated as Jackson got closer.

“She’s fucking hallucinating!” Anya struggled to keep Lexa steady. Pulling Lexa closer to her body, as she held her from her shoulders.

“It’s the toxin in her body,” Abby said before pulling Clarke out of the room. “Everyone else out. And you ma’am, you need to go. Her family is already here.” Abby said with finality to Callie as she moved Clarke to sit outside and wait for Jackson to return.

The nurse came with the solution and a couple more nurses helped Anya to keep Lexa as steady as possible while Jackson administered the dose.

“NOOO!” Lexa was growling now. “Claaarke...”

Clarke was being held in her mother’s arms outside the room, she was crying a river scared of what was happening to Lexa.

“Easy sweetheart, she’s going to be fine. I managed to talk to Bellamy a few minutes ago. This toxin behaves indeed like a psychotropic drug as I suspected. Letting the toxin run its course is the best thing we can do right now.”

“What if she gets aggressive again?”

“We will keep her in observation while we wait for Alpha Pharmaceuticals and Josephine’s research.”

Jackson walked out of the room with Anya and the nurses.

“She’s asleep, the nurses are tending the wounds she caused by ripping the medical equipment in her outburst but she will be okay. If the dose of the toxin she has in her body is low she’ll be detoxifying soon, Clarke. We have to let her rest, and the medical team will monitor for fever but nothing to fear.”

“Thanks,” Clarke said.

Anya joined the two Griffin women. “Shit, that was scary. I’m surprised Callie came. Lexa hasn’t been in contact in years.”

“We met them before our short vacation.” Clarke began. “Probably using the cameras down there to make some points with her group of friends. Lexa doesn’t want anything to do with her parents.”

Anya nodded. “You okay, Griffin? Maybe I should drive you back home.”

“I don’t wanna leave her.”

“She’s going to be asleep today Clarke,” Abby kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “Go home with Madi. I’m going to read all the research as soon as I get it and make sure our Lexa is fine.”

“Okay. Mom, please call me as soon as she wakes. I beg you.”

“I won’t move from here, baby.”

With final goodbyes, Clarke followed Anya back to the parking lot and went back home.

_____________

Slowly, Lexa began stirring, she opened her eyes but there was a lot of light, so she shut her eyes back.

“Hey, take it easy, champ.”

Lexa tried again and this time she managed to look around. She was clearly in a hospital bed by the looks of it.

“Whe-” Lexa coughed. Yet, when she tried to cover her mouth she noticed her hands were restrained.

“Easy honey, let me get you some water first.”

Lexa sipped slowly the offered drink, which made her throat hurt in return but it was very welcomed.

“Better?”

Lexa nodded, licking her dried lips.

“Thank you, Abby.” Lexa cleared her throat. “Where’s Clarke?”

“With Madi. She has been dead worried and I had to send her home several times. You know how stubborn she is.”

Lexa nodded.

“I uh, did I hurt anyone? I ah, I kind of remember what I...” Lexa tried to move her hands just a bit but she was firmly subdued. “I’m dangerous.”

Abby rested her hand over Lexa’s. “It’s not your fault, honey. You were drugged with an unknown toxin for heaven’s sake. You were under a severe hallucination and still, you tried to keep my daughter safe. Trust me, honey. You’re far from being dangerous.”

“Russell Lightbourne injected me with a red substance. I managed to pull it out before he emptied the vial but guess it was enough to cause damage.”

Abby nodded. “Madi told us about the doctor who helped you. Dr. Santiago was on track finding an anti-toxin, but he disappeared before he finished, however, his data was very clear and I continued his work and managed to steam distill Eclipse into supersaturated solution 3g/ml to begin your treatment.”

“Gabriel was a good man… I just want to go home, Abby. Leave this behind.”

Abby smiled. “Soon, sweetheart. After reading some of the research the Lightbourne’s did with Eclipse I’d like for Jackson to run more tests on you. I believe you got rid of the toxin but we have to check if stimulated enough you trigger that aggressive response again.”

“I see.” Lexa whined a bit as she tried to find a comfortable position in bed.

“I’ll call Clarke. Do you need anything else?” Abby asked, removing her reading glasses and closing down the lid of her laptop.

“No thanks. Just um, Callie she aah,” Lexa hesitated, trapping the bottom lip with her teeth. “I don’t want to see her again or Jason. I don’t want Madi to be influenced by them.”

“Okay.”

“Does that make me a bad person?”

“Not at all, Lexa. You don’t owe your parents anything else.” Abby leaned down moving a lock of brown hair away from Lexa’s face, then released Lexa’s wrists. “You’re your own person and you’re a Griffin, never forget that, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled blushing like a schoolgirl.

“I am.”

“Okay, honey. Your wife and kid are dying to see you. Try to relax and if you feel anything at all - headache, mood swings, shivers - call a nurse. Okay?”

“Sure. Thank you, Abby.”

After Abby left the room, Lexa pressed the bed control to adjust better the angle and sit better to welcome her girls.

“Lexa Griffin,” Lexa tested it.

“I like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to cos-geek-monkey for editing this chapter. Well friends here we are, one more update until it's finally over. It's been a long journey but I think I'm ready to close this series once and for all. Hope to have you reading along for the last one!
> 
> Tanagariel


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." - A.A. Milne

It was tedious at first, but Lexa understood why she had to stay home while her body finished healing. She had nasty bruises all over her body, and with time she would be allowed to start exercising.

At least, spending time with her little girl and Clarke was making everything worth it. She was a lousy patient, there was no denying that, but having Clarke as the most caring doctor was a big bonus.

So win-win.

The news about her situation spread quickly, the fan letters didn’t fail to reach her, and Lexa was grateful that people cared about her. Well, mostly about Alexandria, but the sentiment was the same.

However, Lexa was more than ready to close this chapter of her life and start a new one.

Paxton McCreary was found dead after Eligius caught fire under mysterious circumstances after some new damning evidence reached the FBI; Charmaine Diyoza and Damocles vanished - one day there was a magazine and the next it was declaring bankruptcy - which was fine with Lexa. According to Clarke, the woman probably took care of McCreary considering she was pregnant with McCreary’s child. Lexa thought that sounded like a cliché soap opera, but weirder things have happened.

Like Simone Lightbourne dying from asphyxiation in police custody and no one saw a thing.

Lexa just hoped she didn’t have to encounter any more shitty people in her life. With her luck though, she wouldn’t be surprised if an alien race appeared in the future to brew a last war or something, like what happens in ridiculous science fiction shows nowadays.

The positive thing during this time of boredom at home was that Lexa had several calls with the realtor and found a new place to move with her family and dog.

Their new home had a nice front garden, four bedrooms, a study, and a very cozy kitchen. The backyard was big enough to host some family BBQs and spend time with friends.

Lexa was excited for what was to come for sure.

So yes, after spending some time recovering at home, Lexa was glad to finally be able to go back to work.

“Lexa!”

Gaia squealed once she saw Lexa walk out of the elevator.

Many of the staff clapped to welcome back their leader and co-worker.

“Glad to see you in one piece, boss.” Ryder rested his giant hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, me too Ryder. Thanks, everyone.” Lexa waved to her staff and moved on into her office.

“Lexa, you can stay home if you need more rest. What you and your family went through sounded scary as hell!” Gaia said as she escorted Lexa into her office. “We’re doing okay all things considered.”

“I know, but I’m tired of being bed-ridden. Appreciate the sentiment though. Besides, as usual, the media tends to exaggerate reality.”

Lexa waited for Gaia to enter her office and proceeded to shut the door behind her. Strolling right to her work area, Lexa left her briefcase on her desk and sat in her leather chair.

“The judge considered that Polis had no fault in the irregular business going with Alpha Pharmaceuticals, so he released Josephine’s shares.”

“Really? That's great!”

Lexa raised her hand stopping Gaia before she had any other ideas.

“Yes, it’s great but that means that everything will be on my shoulders, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m selling those shares and hope we can build a new board, with a diversity of investors and new ideas. I want you to become the Editor-In-Chief, Gaia. I’ll manage the business from my executive position but eventually, I’ll leave everything in the hands of a younger CEO in the future.”

Gaia’s mouth slacked open, her brown eyes wide in shock. “Okay? That’s um, a lot to take in, Lexa.”

Lexa offered a kind smile, nodding in agreement. “It’s going to take us some time to adapt while we get the new blood in, but I have hope there are better days ahead. I recently moved to a house in the suburbs with my family, and I want to have time for them. I’ll contribute some articles or even editorials but to be honest, I just want to focus on my writing that has been on pause for too long already. I just want to be the English Lit major who once wanted to write, you know?”

Gaia nodded in understanding. “Of course. You deserve to enjoy them to the fullest and should pursue what makes you happy.”

Lexa booted her laptop and made a call to her secretary. “Maya? Can you please arrange a meeting with the staff directors in one hour? Perfect, thanks.” Lexa hung up and sighed.

“I want to begin as soon as possible, the legal team is already preparing all new contracts and from there we can properly start this transition, Gaia.”

“Sure boss, whatever you say.” Gaia stood up to return to her office. but before she left she stopped and turned around.

“Lexa? What about Alexandria?”

“It’s time to let her go.”

“Oh, so this is it? No more ‘Between the Sheets’?

“Correct, we can discuss further ideas to keep readers invested, maybe offering them a new column with a fresh voice, but I think it’s for the best.”

Gaia smiled, “Very well. I assume then, this is going for Polis next month’s edition?”

“Yes, that should give us time to announce my next successor.”

“You got it, I’ll throw some ideas around with the writing team and see what we can come up with.”

“Thank you, Gaia.”

Once Gaia left her office, Lexa reclined in her chair, taking a look at the office where she had been working for years. She had given Polis almost 20 years of her life. She still had many years to give; eventually, she knew she had to take a step back. One day, she would leave this magazine and the company it represented in good hands.

For now, she had to make sure there was a magazine to continue publishing.

Lexa put on her reading glasses and clicked into her email inbox. She smiled at the picture framed over her desk, it was her and Clarke.

“Guess I’ll have to update this as well.” Lexa said before returning her attention to her computer screen.

-oo-

Lexa looked at the incomplete page looking back at her in mockery, daring her to finish. To finally close this chapter in her life, but she couldn’t. Not yet.

Resigned, Lexa called it a day. She shut her laptop and packed everything she needed to go. Her wife was supposed to meet her at the clinic where they were going to their first marriage counseling session.

Lexa was nervous, this was something huge, but it was necessary to hear what an outsider could see along with advice to improve their communication and to keep a proper balance between their professional responsibilities and their personal ones.

She grabbed her bag and turned the lights off before waving goodbye to Maya.

Once the elevator arrived, she pressed the button to reach the parking lot. The music on the elevator did nothing to ease her nerves.

The doors opened and Lexa began walking to her car when she noticed that someone was sitting in her beautiful mustang’s capot.

“Anya?” Lexa arched her brow wondering what the hell her friend was doing in the parking lot.

“Hey you.” Anya waved, taking a sip from a can of beer she was drinking.

Lexa unlocked her car and put her bag inside. She shut the door again and sat beside her friend.

“Why are you here? You know you can go to the office and Maya will let you through.” Lexa noticed that this was not the first beer Anya had already downed.

“I know but I needed time to think,” Anya said, her face giving nothing away.

“Okay?” Lexa was starting to get genuinely worried.

Anya took another sip of her can.

“Anya? You’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” Lexa gulped down, she was stressed by Anya’s lack of information.

Anya turned to look at Lexa with a deadpan expression. Lexa was already thinking the worst.

_Maybe she’s getting divorced?_

_Shit, what if she’s sick._

_Oh fuck, is she dying?_

“Anya?” Lexa was about to start crying if Anya didn’t say anything right now.

Anya sighed, finishing the can of beer and crunching it under her fist.

“Costia adopted a kitten.”

“What?” Lexa jumped off the car trunk, “You sonofabitch! I was thinking that something really bad was happening to you!” Lexa shoved Anya hard, only for the taller blonde to laugh out loud.

“Geez, you had to see your face,” Anya cackled in laughter leaning on the front of the trunk as she held her stomach.

“Aaah you dipshit! You came all the way to the magazine to pull this prank?” Lexa huffed indignantly, ready to punch again her friend.

After Anya’s laughter died she grabbed her trash and jumped off the car.

“Sorry, I was bored for a minute.” Anya walked to the nearest trash bin and deposited her empty cans and returned to Lexa who was fuming.

“You do know I have to meet Clarke in…” Lexa checked her watch. “In 20 minutes!”

“Yeah yeah, won’t take much of your time. Truth is I came here to talk with Gaia about The Green Foundation’s new scholarship program’s potential promotion in the magazine, but I met your folks in the lobby.”

“What?” Lexa did not expect that.

“Yup,” Anya put her hands inside her jacket pockets leaning against the car’s door. “I was clear with them - if they’re not here to ask for your forgiveness then they better disappear from your life.”

“I could have taken care of them, you know? I’m not that defenseless kid anymore.”

Anya smiled approaching Lexa and pulling her into a half hug, “I know, but I also had to let them know how much they missed because of their hatred. The way you made me proud with every step you took to become who you are today is something I had to throw it in their faces.”

Lexa chuckled, sniffing a bit. “You’re my family, Anya. You’re not just my friend, but my sister. You always had my back, and what have I done for you? I took and I took from you-”

“Woah, slow down. Lexa, you don’t need to do anything else. I love you and that’s it.” Anya shrugged. “My love has no price, dumbass. I know that you’d drop Clarke’s flat ass the minute I said I needed you, no questions asked.”

Lexa laughed more at ease. “It’s not flat, but yeah, she’d understand. You’re working really hard to be Madi’s godmother huh?”

Anya grinned. “Please, I knew I’d be your first option. Anyway, I needed time to cool off. Jason is such a dick so I got myself a six-pack. Go to your counseling or whatever, loser. I’ll see you later.” Anya waved and began moving towards the elevator.

Lexa watched the taller woman walk with her heart filled with immense gratitude for her love and care. Anya might really not understand the huge influence she played being the mother figure of Lexa when she was just a kid.

The day life decides to take her away, Lexa knows she’s going to lose a piece of her heart with her.

“Time to go before Clarke kills me.”

____________

“Can you confirm those latest artists please, Niylah?” Clarke instructed her secretary while walking around the gallery as Eden prepared to launch their Holiday Exhibit.

“What do you think if we put the new talent in this wing, Cos?” Clarke asked her partner and mentor.

Costia took a step back to look at the space. She hummed looking at the other side of the gallery.

“We have 8 new submissions for this year’s exhibit, plus from Polis U we have 6 more.” Costia bit her lower lip as she did the math in her head and looked around the available space.

“It’s gonna be a lil’ bit crowded here, Clarke.” Costia moved to the other area they had available, “Art connoisseurs have to go through this corner first, so why don’t we start with the college kids art here and then we lead them to the open area with the artists that sent their work for sale?” Costia proposed.

“Yeah that might work.” Clarke nodded in agreement.

“Also I have some news for you, come to my office when you finish with Niylah.” Costia said, she turned around and headed to her work area.

Clarke stood behind with Niylah, trying to finish organizing the arrangement she wanted for their new showcase.

“Okay, my old stuff will be here and my new art should be on this wall,” Clarke pointed to the empty space.

“Very well, I’ll be contacting the team to start mounting the art this Saturday.” Niylah offered. “We just need to wait for Costia to establish the price for the art, but other than that I think we are right on schedule.”

“If I finish my new art on time that is.” Clarke joked. This time she was going to paint at a pace that allowed her to spend time with her daughter and wife. “Thank you, Niylah. As usual you are my savior.”

Niylah chuckled, “No problem, Clarke. I'll call you if anything changes.”

Once Clarke finished, she went to Costia’s office. She knocked on the door before entering to announce her presence.

“Hey, all good?” Costia asked.

“Sure, we’re on time. So what's up?” Clarke sat in front of Costia.

“I received some requests from a couple of galleries in Paris and Frankfurt to showcase some of your art last week.” Costia turned her laptop around to show Clarke the emails.

Clarke frowned, “I don’t remember writing to any of those galleries.”

“We didn’t.” Costia said, “You did great work in London, and we did get some calls. But you were clear you were not going to travel to focus on your family, particularly after Damocles pulled that shit interview. However, I got a call from the foundation main office in New York like an hour ago. They said your name suddenly started to pop again in the big art circles. I’ve received some very interesting requests for commissions as well, Clarke. Top dollar commissions.”

“Oh, that’s uh, wow. Well, the news about the Lighbournes must have reached them I guess.”

“Clarke, why is it hard for you to understand your effort is paying off? You’re talented, your work is known already. Yes, McCreary was an asshole critic and a terrible person, but that doesn’t take away the merit of the art you showcased in Eligius. This is not about Alexandria either, don’t you see? They are talking about Clarke Griffin’s art. Nothing more.” Costia rested her hand on top of Clarke’s.

Clarke sighed, nodding. “I guess I still need to work on removing my insecurities regarding my art. I didn’t believe in myself and ended up blaming Lexa, I can’t let that happen again, Cos.”

“Which is good you're going to counseling, huh? I’m so happy for you, Clarke. I knew you were a diamond in the rough, and look at you now! You have proposals for many exhibits in the future and requests for art commissions by big names in the art circles. We're talking about thousands of dollars if not more already. This might be overwhelming, but you can decline. I’ll continue reviewing the offers but won’t make any decision until you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Cos. I’ll think about it, don’t want to dive too hard yet in my art, not while I’m rebuilding my marriage again with Lexa.”

“Very well. Speaking of, you better hurry. Lexa should be arriving soon to pick you up,” Costia advised.

“Yeah, I will pick up some stuff from my office first. Thank you for being my teacher, Costia. You allowed me to grow as an artist under your wing while I stole your girlfriend.” Clarke grinned, feeling more at ease with Costia, leaving behind the guilt of the past. Buried forever. Costia huffed, throwing a paper clip to the blonde. “Okay, time for you to get outta here, Mrs. Griffin-Woods. You have one hell of an ego sometimes, let me tell you. Now go and wait for your wife!” Costia smiled back, relaxed with the easy banter between them.

Clarke went to her office to turn off the computer, and grab her purse. She was excited to head to the first marriage counseling session with Lexa, but also very nervous, hoping things would go well for them.

She picked up her cell phone from her desk and was about to call her mom to see if Madi was already there from school.

“Hey, mom. Yeah, Lexa is coming to get me now.” Clarke locked the door and headed to the entrance to wait for Lexa. “Yeah, we’ll pick up Madi as soon as we’re done with the session. Make sure she does her homework first before cartoons, mom. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the reminder, mom. I love you too.”

Clarke ended the call, and put away her phone inside her handbag. She took a deep breath, when she spotted Lexa’s mustang approaching.

“Here goes nothing.”

-oo-

“Okay, that wasn’t so bad,” Clarke said, wiping the remnants of tears off her face with the tissue Lexa offered.

Lexa brought Clarke’s knuckles to her lips and kissed it. “It was cathartic and painful, but as the therapist said, it is important to remove everything so we can rebuild again.”

Clarke leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder, feeling the strength of her wife in her strong, secure hold.

“Take me home, babe. I need some wine.” Clarke smiled.

“As my beautiful spouse wishes.” Lexa did a small curtsy, making Clarke snort, and escorted her towards the car.

After they picked up Madi from Abby’s, the family returned to their suburban home.

Lexa parked the car and Madi jumped right away to greet Picasso, who was already at the window excited to see the trio return.

“Slow down, cupcake.” Clarke warned seeing the girl running towards the porch to greet the excited dog.

Clarke opened the door and Picasso appeared to greet everyone.

“Slow down, girl.” Clarke laughed as the dog was licking her face while standing on its hinge legs to reach Clarke.

“Okay, everyone inside!” Lexa said. Madi and the dog moved inside the house.

“I’m going to wipe all the drool from Picasso and change before I open that bottle of wine.” Clarke said.

“Sure, I’ll arrange the plates and serve the food we bought.” Lexa offered, she leaned down and pecked Clarke before heading into the kitchen.

Clarke walked upstairs to reach the master bedroom; you could see many pictures of Lexa, Madi and herself decorating the space. They still had much more space to fill, but with time they would take more pictures. For now, the important thing is that everyone was getting used to this new place to call home.

Right beside the main bedroom, was the room they selected for Madi. It is already decorated with stars and galaxies on the walls. Downstairs you could find Lexa’s office, a guest bedroom and outside in their backyard, there was a small workshop Lexa requested to be built for Clarke, in case she wanted to paint from home.

Once inside the bedroom, she headed into the restroom to splash her face with water. Once she felt refreshed, Clarke made it back to the bedroom and opened her closet, selecting a baggy shirt and sweatpants, feeling more at ease after the very emotional first session.

Clarke was emotionally drained, but happy. Lexa and she were all in, and it was really wonderful to feel their connection deepening.

Clarke shut the door, accidentally knocking off the frame that rested on top of the clothes cabinet. Clark[e](https://twitter.com/Tanagariel) picked it up, smiling seeing the old picture of her dad.

“Hey, dad. It's been a while.” Clarke touched the cool glass softly. “I miss you a lot, dad. I’m fine, I’m very happy and gosh, how I wish you could have met Madi. You’d be crazy for her, dad. She’s a great girl. I’m putting more effort into Lexa too. I think we’re going to be really okay, dad. I love you.” Clarke put the frame back in its place and returned downstairs to have dinner with her family.

“Can we bring Aunty Anya’s cat to play with me and Picasso?” Clarke heard Madi asking Lexa.

“We’ll have to ask her first, cupcake. Now I need you to eat all your food, okay?” Lexa said as she started to serve the food on the plates.

Clarke wrapped her arms from behind Lexa, kissing her shoulder.

“Thanks, babe. I’ll get the wine glasses.” Clarke kissed Lexa once more and moved to the kitchen cabinet to get the glasses and the bottle of wine waiting in the fridge, already chilled.

Clarke moved everything to the table and sat while Lexa finished serving their dinner.

Clarke poured the red wine in the glasses and some apple juice for Madi.

“I want to make a toast,” Clarke began. “For this beautiful family, may we live in happiness and in health for many years to come!”

“Cheers!” Lexa clicked her glass first with Clarke then with Madi.

“For my mommas!” Maid cheered.

Clarke and Lexa laughed, toasting with Madi.

“And for our little Heda, who makes us the happiest mothers on the planet.” Lexa kissed the head of the little brunette.

“Okay, time to eat.”

“Mommy?” Madi asked after a beat, her face already dirty with sauce.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke perked her brow.

“Aunty Raven said that you could make a baby to play with me. Can I have one now?”

Lexa began coughing suddenly. Clarke had to hit her back to help her wife recover her breath.

“You okay, love?”

“Yeah,” _cough cough_. Lexa took a big gulp of water before she exhaled, relieved. “Much better.”

“I’m gonna kill Raven.” Clarke mumbled. “Look, baby. Ah, let’s go step by step, okay? Your mom and I have to do some things before we think about expanding the family, but maybe someday you can have a sibling, sweetheart.”

“Okay!” Madi said, pleased with the answer. “Madi wants to be a big sister and play all day.”

“Finish your food, little Heda or we won’t have time to do a bedtime story,” Lexa encouraged the distracted girl.

“Yes, momma. I want another story about Heda fighting the evil zombie.”

“Lexa, what kind of stories are you sharing with our daughter?” Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. “You shouldn’t be scaring her, babe.”

Lexa smiled confidently. “Nothing to worry about.”

______________

After helping Madi take her bath, Lexa joined the little girl in her bed to tell her another bedtime story, Clarke decided to wash the dishes tonight. 

Madi was clearly exhausted because not 5 minutes later, the brunette was already asleep.

Lexa chuckled and kissed her forehead, next she adjusted her blanket and turned off her lamp to let her sleep.

Lexa shut the door to the child’s bedroom and walked downstairs to her office.

Once on her desk, Lexa started a video call with her manager, hoping to get back on track with her craft. Even though she dreaded it, it was time to make things clear.

As soon as the bald man appeared on screen, Lexa felt like a rock on the pit of her stomach.

“Lexa.”

“Hello, Titus.”

“About time you called back.” As usual the man was already throwing shade.

“I’m sorry, as you know I was busy dealing with a psychopath,” Lexa replied.

“Right.” Titus cleared his throat. “Time to get back on track. We have to schedule the new tour dates for next year, and I think we can begin having a live interview with Be-”

“Stop right there, Titus. I don’t want to keep an intense schedule again. I do want to stop in some libraries to meet my readers, but that’s all. So get on that. I’m gonna write Ontari as soon as I finish with Polis to begin working on the second draft of my upcoming work. Other than that, I told you - my wife and daughter are first.”

Titus wasn’t really happy by the looks of it, but he would respect her wishes if he didn’t want to be out of business.

He nodded. “As you wish, Lexa. I’ll look into some places for fan meet-ups with Alexandria.”

“One more thing, from now on it’s Lexa Griffin. Alexandria is gone.” Lexa smiled at how good it felt to say that.

Titus opened his mouth to probably say something, but he shut it just as fast.

“Griffin? Your readers are not familiar under that name. Might affect sales. Are you sure?”  
“Yes, Titus. Also, my publicist agreed. This is a new era, Titus. You’re with me or you’re not.”

“No, that’s fine by me, Lexa. Will make sure to update the promotional material we have.”

“Great. Thank you, Titus.” Lexa ended the call with a satisfied smirk on her face.

Now that she was done with that, it was time to finish her column. She put on her reading glasses and booted her laptop.

Once the document was opened she began to write.

_“We have come so far, after so long. Years with your support, always watching over me, taking care of me, but most importantly, being loyal to me. Your company has been nothing but a sweet caress day to day. With your words you conquered me and with your smile you enchanted me, yet I have now to say farewell to you, my love._

_Yes, it is my time to move on. Even when you were the one who inspired me, the one who kept motivating me, I realized that my heart lies somewhere else._

_As Emily Bronte once wrote in one of her short poems:_

_‘I will not shine again:_

_Its sad course is done;_

_I have seen the last ray wane_

_Of the cold, bright sun.’_

_Yes, I can admit that’s a bit dramatic but you understand. I gave you my all, and I feel full of your love._

_I hope one day…_

  
  


“Oh my fucking God!”

Lexa blinked her eyes open hearing the sudden urgency in Clarke’s voice.

She found herself sitting on the couch of the living room of her home. She stood up and realized that she was wearing a tuxedo. Lexa noticed Picasso sleeping in the corner of the kitchen, she looked tired.

“Lexa, what are you doing standing there? We need to be at the gallery in 30 minutes!” Clarke scolded her and moved into the backyard finishing putting on an earring.

“What?”

“Aden Jacob Griffin-Woods, you better get down from that tree right now!”

Lexa followed the voice of her very angry wife towards the backyard, almost tripping over a dirty soccer ball.

Coming down a tree was a swanky 13-year-old boy, with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Sorry, moooom. I was showing Tris how fast I could climb.” Aden said with a big grin.

“Aden now is not the time to make bets with your cousin. Tris, Anya only allowed you to a sleepover today because you promised to be ready. You two go wash your hands and fix your hair!”

“Yes, Aunt Clarke,” Tris replied annoyed. The blonde girl poked her tongue out towards Aden in mockery. She walked past Lexa followed by the blonde boy.

“Did you see me, momma?” Aden stopped looking at Lexa with so much love, it melted Lexa’s heart on the spot.

“Yes, now hurry before your mom grounds you.” She ruffled his hair.

Clarke shut the door to the backyard and met Lexa.

“Babe? Are you okay?” Clarke cupped Lexa’s face with tenderness.

“I think so? I was talking with Titus yesterday.” Lexa began remembering the odd conversation she had with her manager. “He said someone wanted to adapt my new book into a TV show.”

“Really? And?” Clarke smiled with excitement.

“I said to him I wasn’t interested in a white cis dude take on my very gay book, thank you very much.”

Clarke chuckled, “Hmmm, bet Titus lost the last hair on his brow thanks to that.”

“Yes, he probably did.”

“Can you look upstairs for Madi while I finish with the madness duo? We need to leave in five.”

Lexa pulled Clarke closer before she left, “You’re going to be great, my love. The new art you made is pretty amazing, slow down a bit. Raven and Octavia are already taking care of the guests, Anya sent me a text earlier. Breathe, baby. Now I’ll go get our eldest, okay? I love you.”

Lexa kissed carefully on her lips trying to avoid smearing her lipstick before letting go of her wife and heading upstairs.

She knocked on her daughter’s door, “Honey? Your mom is about to have a stroke, are you ready?”

“Coming.” She heard some hurried steps before the door opened.

Opening the door was her daughter, who was as tall as her. Lexa couldn’t stop staring for some reason.

“What?” Asked the blue-eyed young adult. “Something wrong with my makeup?”

“No, nothing,” Lexa shook her head, “just that you grew up so fast, Madi. I swear I just blinked. You look gorgeous.”

“You okay, momma? Guess yesterday’s soccer game must have affected you a bit, huh? At the last second, I managed to score though, GO DC WARRIORS!” Madi straightened up Lexa’s bow tie.

“I guess I’ll talk with Coach O to change the game schedule. The sun was criminal!”

“There ya go!” Madi kissed Lexa’s cheek and went downstairs to meet with her sibling and cousin before departing.

Lexa smiled, feeling satisfied, and so full of love. This was her life, this was her family and she was nothing but grateful for the blessings she received.

____________

Clarke was laying on the bed, reading her phone, hoping Lexa was going to come back soon to bed. She was wishing to get some action tonight but Lexa wanted to finish writing some stuff for the magazine and deal with some work stuff with Titus before she came to bed.

Clarke was chatting with her friends in the meantime.

**Wanheda:** O, what do you think about your nephew? Echo sent some pics and all I see is a mini Echo.

**Blodreina**: you’re right, thank God. So glad the lil’ peanut looks more like Echo. Also, I pray he likes soccer so I can coach him in the junior soccer league in the future.

**Wanheda:** O, your teammates call you blodreina ffs, that’s the name of a psychopath tbh. If Madi wants to learn soccer she will do so with another coach.

**Blodreina:** loool Madi will be coached by me, Clarke. those are facts!! can’t wait to meet your peanut, I’m traveling to DC next month once the new contract with the DC Warriors is complete.

**ZeroGRay: **nice, you coming with Levi then?

**Blodreina:** it’s Levitt, Reyes and yeah, we will be traveling together.

**ZeroGRay:** OMG! we can now do a triple date you gals!!! Me and Luna, O and Levitt and Clexa, sooo cute :)

**Wanheda:** you and Luna are serious?? o_o

**ZeroGRay:** as serious as to try THIS ‘_jpg attached’_

“Ow!” Clarke had to rub her face at the impact of the device slipping from her hands and leaned against the headboard instead.

**Wanheda:** that looks impossible Reyes. No way.

**ZeroGRay:** I’m very flexible, Clarkey. Are you?”

**Blodreina: ** _‘shots fired gif’_

**Wanheda: **it’s on, Rae! wait speaking of… ttyl Lexa is awol, gonna check on her. love you losers and get ready to be humiliated when I do that thing on the pic XD

Clarke left her phone on the nightstand. The blonde artist put on her slippers and slipped into a robe over her shorts and a baggy old shirt to head to the office.

She walked silently to avoid disturbing their daughter, Picasso came to the stars wagging its tail hoping to play some ball.

“Sorry, girl. It’s late.” She patted the head of the dog and continued on her way to find her wife.

“Lexa? Honey?”

Clarke asked as soon as she opened the door, but the image she found made her groan. “I’m going to kill Titus if he keeps tiring my wife before I can actually tire her out,” Clarke grumbled.

She walked towards the chair where Lexa was asleep, her neck was at a weird angle so it was better to wake her up.

“Lex, wake up, lover. I need to take you to bed.” Clarke touched her shoulder.

Lexa startled and sat up straight, she looked around and she found herself in her office, the computer screen still on, and the lights as well.

“Clarke?”

“Babe, I was waiting for you in bed but you were taking a long time so I came to check and found you asleep,” Clarke said rubbing circles on her back. “Everything okay?”

“Sorry, I was finishing the last article for Polis, and uuuh, I guess I fell asleep.” Lexa rubbed her temple, trying to ease a bit of the exhaustion she carried.

“Was it a good dream or a bad one?” Clarke inquired, hoping that Lexa wasn’t going to have another nightmare like the ones caused by that toxin.

“A good one, I think. It was very surreal.”

“Okay, good. Now let’s go to the bed, baby. The bed feels too big without you.”

“Give me a second to finish.”

“If you must.” Clarke stood behind Lexa’s chair. Massaging Lexa’s upper back trying to ease the tight muscles.

_“I hope one day we can meet again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I won’t ever forget you, I promise. Just don’t forget about me. Forever yours, even when this is our last time between the sheets.”_

“That’s very lovely,” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek. “Your readers will miss you. I know I’m gonna miss my fave annoying writer from Polis Magazine.”

“You will?” Lexa turned a bit on her side to look at Clarke, arching her brows surprised.

“Yup, Alexandria was an important part of our history. I cannot forget it just like that. Nonetheless, you have my full support, you know why?”

“No, why?”

“Because I get to have _you _between the sheets and between my legs.”

Lexa giggled, the corner of her eyes crinkling as her lips widened.

“Seriously, who could have thought that I was gonna be a goner as soon as I stared into your pretty green eyes for the first time, huh? If I went back in time, I seriously wouldn’t know how to tell younger Clarke to be less of a bitch to you.”

Lexa stood up, bringing Clarke close for a kiss.

“I’m irresistible. At least my fans think so”

Clarke snorted, “so full of yourself, Woods.”

“Ah ah.” Lexa tilted Clarke’s chin up, “Mrs. Griffin to you.” Lexa leaned down for a deeper kiss.

After separating to get back some oxygen, Lexa added. “And I wouldn’t change anything about us. Our story is what made this journey special. Every time we got hurt and every time we were happy, it’s all part of who we are as people and as a couple. I had no idea I would fall for you the way I did. It happened and I dealt with it.”

“Yeah, dumping my ass in Mount Weather; so nice of you Lexa!” Clarke pecked Lexa’s lips to show she was as usual joking.

“I’m never going to live that one down, am I?” 

“I do have in mind some ideas on how to repay me.” Clarke began pulling from Lexa’s belt loops and brought her for a kiss.

“In all seriousness, thank you for never giving up on me. For putting yourself in danger to protect me countless times. For being the caring woman who won my heart.” Clarke rested her hand over Lexa’s beating heart.

“Thank you for showing me that love was not weakness, for letting me love you in the dark so I can love you now in the light. For as long as I breathe, every page I write will be a testament of my love for you.”

“I have no chance here, geez. You make me fall in love with you every single day, woman. Now kiss me.” Clarke went for another kiss. Lips moving eagerly and hands roaming over bodies with more intensity.

Clarke moaned pulling Lexa impossibly closer, “Okay, let’s get this upstairs. We need to start warming up for Madi’s sibling, don’t we?”

“Wait, wait. I have to send this to the magazine first.” Lexa returned to the computer. “Press together?”

Clarke joined Lexa. Lexa rested her hand on top of Clarke and together they moved it on top of the keyboard.

“I believe we’re going to be more than okay, as long as we stick together,” Clarke said.

“We press **_ENTER_** on three.”

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

_click_

ENTER

“So um, what do you think about the name Aden?” Lexa said as they moved back to their bedroom.

“Really? You’re naming our not-yet conceived kid already!?”

Lexa shrugged, “Just covering our bases, Clarke.”

Clarke laughed, extending her hand for Lexa to take.

“We have all the time in the world, Lexa. Plenty of time to plan ahead the rest of our lives. Come on, Heda. I’m sleepy and your daughter is an early riser. We need a quicky in the sheets. I wanna try something new that Raven said it was impossible to do. Rae as usual is wrong.”

“Oh, is she?”

Clarke smiled confidently. “We’ll find out.”

“I’m very curious about that.”

F I N

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the road. Thank you for joining me on this ride, whether you started with me way back in 2015 with the first story or joined recently, I cannot say thank you enough times. You made this universe what it is today. I never expected to write more than one story, but one of you asked for more. Maybe it was one person, maybe different anons, nonetheless you kept coming for more. I delivered in 2016 another one and I really thought that was it, and then 307 happened and I knew I had to finish, which I did and I thought I was done, but nope. You friends, sneaked into my inbox and asked for one more. So here it is, a trilogy. A trilogy free for all to read, after hours and hours, years of writing I can finally say I'm done with Between the Sheets.  
I hope that the effort paid off and hopefully, this story will remain a little something in the corner of the Clexa fandom.
> 
> I want to thank cos-geek-monkey who had been editing from the very beginning and I'm very grateful for her help and a special shout-out to unaligned-valkyrie who jumped when I needed a backup.
> 
> This is the end of this series, but as you know I like to throw some easter eggs here and there in other fics. I like to play with my stories like that so you might catch a little something in the future. For now, I have nothing else to add but thank you to those who commented. There have been people that commented on every chapter and your passion fueled me as well. Even if you left kudos I am thankful.  
I will move forward with other fics and hope to still find your company along the way. This is a labor of love for two characters that made me very happy.
> 
> A reminder that all my works can be found only on AO3 and some ficlets on tumblr, free of charge. I appreciate those of you who keep an eye open for thieves because there is nothing more demoralizing than someone stealing your work and for what?  
I have nothing else to share, gotta admit that I'm a bit emotional because I worked on this story for years and I'm finally closing this chapter of my life forever. So yeah, I'll be around trying to take it easy now and I'll get back whenever I get back to continue sharing these stories with you all.
> 
> You already know where to find me so until next time!
> 
> Tanagariel

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. All characters belong to their respective creators.
> 
> You can find me @tanagariel and @commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com
> 
> Fanart by @skyline.0000


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